"The Summer Tale."
"Rome is the hem home of ice cream.
And for generations, burgeys and pilgrim's ylyk,
this glade folk, in joy and bliss at mete,
have forsaken dessert at the Inn for the simple pleasure
of sitting outside with the takeaway cone."
[LAUGHTER]
"The last Papa, Pope Johannes Paulus Tweye, a priest,
holy and gay, used to have tubs of his favorite flavor.
marron glacé, delivered to his summer residence.
Thanked be God in wele and habundaunce.
But if his successor, Pope Benedict XVI
wants to see how Polish ice cream compares
during a viage trip there this week a week.
Get us some mete and drink and make us cherre.
He is likely to be apayed a bit disappointed.
'For many a pastee hastow, cakes and ice cream can easily go off
in summer temperatures and can pose a danger to health,
that has been twies hoot and twies cool,' a spokeswyf woman
for local health bailiffs quod to Agence France Press.
'That's why we're banning takeaway sales on the day many
pilgrims pilgrims will be arriving in Wadowice'."
[LAUGHTER]
"And that isn't all that has made it
onto the list of voided banned items.
Areas that the Pope will visit, including the cities
of Warsaw and Krakow, will be dry, with a ban on all liquor
sales while the Papa is in town.
For goddess love, drynk more attemprely."
[LAUGHTER]
"Polish mennes of lawe seyen the ban
is in place to maintain public order and as a mark of respect
for the pontiff.
No drynke which that might him drunken make,
but there in abstinence preye and wake.
Pope Benedict XVI himself will be
offered both red and white wyn.
'Deus hic!' quod he.
God is here as he attends houses of office
stuffed with plentee, a series of solempne gala sopers,
according to local media voys reports.
Television advertisements for licuor
have eek also been banned, along with those for contraceptives,
lingerie, and tampons."
[LAUGHTER]
"Chaast was man in paradys, certeyn.
'There is always the risk that the faithful may feel hurt.
How many maladys folwen of excesse and goltonyes.
If programming devoted to the Pope's visit wedded to poverte
and continence, to charite, humblesse, and abstinence,
is interrupted by frivolous ads, the body is aye so redy
and penyble', the head of advertising for Telewizja
Polska, the state-run TV network,
told the Associated Press news agency.
BBC News 25 May 2006.
Here is ended the Summer Tale."