WEBVTT

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This is the last
story I'll read,

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and it's the title
story from the book.

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It's called "Monsters."

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One sip of water, this
one's a tad longer.

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"Monsters."

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"Inexplicably, the roommate has
hairy flutes and a bumpy snout.

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Beneath her bonnet twitched
the beige ears of a meadow vole

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with pink, waxy,
alert interiors.

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She is not able to speak above
a silvery whisper when she

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confronts him, hissing, 'you
have to do something about

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your daughter.'

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Each time he visits,
she confronts him thus,

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and also hisses, 'she calls me
a fucking bitch and tells me she

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hates me.'

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'It is kind of mean of
her,' he agrees patiently.

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His daughter has been sick
for longer than he remembers.

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The daughter's roommate
is some kind of monster.

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He does not know what kind.

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She is humorous looking,
but also a bit frightening

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with her flutes and snout.

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'Try to be nicer to her,'
he tells his daughter,

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but his daughter's face
hardens at the suggestion.

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'She can't help
it,' he continues.

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'Try at least not to swear,
or to attack her physically.'

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This last was routine,
according to the caregivers.

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The daughter grabbing
a cane or other object

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and hurling it at the roommate,
or wheeling her own chair

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to the edge of the roommate's
bed and menacing her.

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After much pleading,
the daughter

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will promise to try to
ignore the roommate,

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but because she has
a memory deficit,

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she will soon
forget her promise.

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'She is brain injured,'
he told the roommate once.

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'I am brain injured, too,' said
the roommate, snout a wobble.

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'My brain fell out of my head.

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Why do you think
I look like this?'

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'I know,' he said,
though he had no idea.

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'And I'm so sorry.'

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His daughter has been sick
longer than he remembers,

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and he visits her in the
facility every other day.

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He brings her salad and
iced mochas, sometimes

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a T-shirt or a book.

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She does not remember
very well, so the book

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will go largely unread.

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Perhaps the first chapter
will be read over and over

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for the next year.

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At this point, the
daughter is declining.

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This is not his word,
but the word of her

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caregivers at the facility.

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Decline, he thinks,
like the stock market.

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He doesn't like the word,
because it feels euphemistic.

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A gentle sort of word for
what is happening lately

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to his daughter.

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Sometimes, people
look at the stars

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and marvel how far
we have not come.

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In other words,
they look and they

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realize that any progress from
factory to grave, as it were,

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is less than an
eye blink compared

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to the progress of planetary
bodies over all those millions

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of eons, and still shining
due to the mysterious business

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of light years.

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Another way of saying
this is to marvel

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at how everything outside
of our perishable selves

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seems to last indefinitely.

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When he looks at his daughter,
he tries to remember this.

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That she, and he, and
all others have not

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much time on the planet,
no matter how implacably

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constructed, and so are
deeply insignificant.

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'I go from city to city, from
town to town,' goes the song,

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and he hums it as he
drives to the facility.

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This time he thinks to bring
the roommate a little peace

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offering.

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He does this, he admits to
himself, not out of compassion,

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but because he believes it might
cut down on the complaints.

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The complaints
knuckle him under.

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He has lately been in the
habit of inserting his buffler

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so he will not feel
quite so hollowed out.

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He brings a floral scented
cushion for the roommate.

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The daughter rolls her eyes.

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'Why her?

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Why always her?' she asks,
because she doesn't remember.

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'She is declining,' says
a caregiver sorrowfully.

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'Not only is she
not remembering,

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she is confabulating.

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Now she thinks the roommate
is the other daughter,

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the preferred sister.'

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Today's caregiver
gives-- wears a wreath

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of orange labbies
around her head,

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and long, black mards
embossed with [? zanims. ?]

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'How clever,' he says,
indicating the [? zanims ?]

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and hoping to distract
her from the topic of his

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daughter's decline.

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'Everything is infectious
in today's world,' says

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the caregiver. 'We must do our
parts to curtail the spread.'

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'I go from city to
city, from town to town,

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looking for a bowl of
soup, looking for a dog

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to poke,' goes the song
inside the father's head.

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Usually he pushes his
daughter to the Dollar Store,

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then to Safeway.

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She can have whatever
she wants, he tells her.

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The sky's the limit.

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Today she is on a stretcher,
and possibly cannot go out,

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they say.

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He gets, 'no, you cannot
push that stretcher across

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the street, even though
it is on wheels.'

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She is declining.

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She cannot hold up her head.

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He takes out the
buffler in order

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to release some of his gnarls.

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He remembers the daughter
when she was an athlete,

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running cross country into the
woods where she would disappear

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for a little while, and then
reappear in front of the pack.

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Those moments did not
require bufflering,

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and there were no
gnarls building up.

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Only like, one
glister after another.

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It was a veritable sea
of glisters everywhere,

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rocking and shining, the
daughter running into the woods

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and emerging in the lead.

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Or later on, the celebrations.

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The glisterous celebrations
in the bright lee pads.

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Her forehead is
covered with freckles.

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How they have persisted
when all else has declined.

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He smells the place where
her hair stretches back

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from her forehead, the place
where the freckles begin.

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'Is it a nice smell?'
asks the daughter.

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'It smells like you,'
says the father,

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'a mixture of ruts and splay.'

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'I thought so,'
says the daughter.

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'It's what I would imagine.'

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The roommate is neither happy
nor unhappy about the gift

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of the cushion.

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Her face wears a
neutral expression.

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'What am I supposed to do
with this?' she hisses.

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'Perhaps for your
bed,' he suggests.

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She waves one hairy flute.

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'You need to help your daughter.

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She calls me a fucking bitch
and tells me she hates me.'

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'It is a pretty cushion
with minions and bings,

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a little embroidered
monkey swinging

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from a branch in the middle.

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Perhaps it will cheer
you up,' he says.

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The stars.

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They are, after all, so
far as to be nonexistent.

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Perhaps all things, perceived
at a great distance,

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no longer exist.

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Only in memory do these
things unreasonably persist.

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The insides of our
minds may as well

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be skies filled with what
is no longer in existence.

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When we look at
the night sky, we

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are therefore
perceiving a vast memory

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covered with recollections.

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Imagine a mind without memory.

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A starless sky, or a
sky simply hollowed out,

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like a feeling when
overcome, or emptier.

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The caregiver with the orange
labbies and embossed lards

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is busily hooking up an
apparatus called the Hoyer

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lift to the
daughter, so that she

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can be transported to the
toilet, set down upon it,

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and then removed.

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They say that in
deference to the father,

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they will allow her to sit in
a wheelchair for a short time

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today.

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Now the father can
push her to Burger King

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for a salad and a mocha.

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Afterwards, they walk up
and down the Safeway aisles

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looking for shampoo
and a magazine,

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and the daughter's head is soon
resting on her own shoulder

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at a horrible angle.

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In this pose, she cannot
help but stare at the rows

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of phosphorescent lights
on Safeway's ceiling,

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and this makes her say,
'when are we leaving?'

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'The sky is so blue today,
and the clouds are noble

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and stately, like ships passing
in front of our eyes,' he

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remarks.

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'They remind us,'
says the daughter.

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'Of what?' says the father.

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'Oh, who can remember?'
says the daughter.

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At the Dollar Store, which is
going out of business so that

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everything is now only $0.50,
they purchase a little figurine

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of a dwarf that looks as if
it's made of mucus and spit.

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The dwarf has a very wide
face and a tiny grimace which

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reveals just a sliver of tooth.

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It is so resolutely hideous
that they cannot stop themselves

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from laughing right in the store
in front of the sales clerk.

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'Good Lord,' says the daughter.

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When she laughs, she
gets very red faced

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and she clenches
her one good fist.

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She is one of those who
wheezes when she laughs,

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and now she is wheezing and
wheezing at the ugly figurine.

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'Something to remember
me by,' says her father,

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who is also laughing.

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The roommate has the TV on
as usual when they return.

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'She is a fucking bitch and I
hate her,' says the daughter,

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matter of factly.

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The TV is cranked all the way up
because perhaps the roommate's

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meadow vole's ears, despite
their alert pink interiors,

00:09:49.500 --> 00:09:50.910 align:middle line:90%
are defective.

00:09:50.910 --> 00:09:53.370 align:middle line:84%
The father approaches
the caregiver,

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who is still with labbies
jittering around her head

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as if she were about to
be attacked by wolves,

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he thinks unkindly.

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'Can we get the roommate
to turn down the TV a bit?'

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'No, that is not possible,' says
the caregiver. 'She has rights,

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too,' she adds.

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A buffler does not
repair, so much as stave.

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Constructed of
translucent slop jet

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and a series of
prawns and rivels,

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the idea is to
simulate forgetfulness.

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An excellent photograph
might accomplish the same,

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unless the photograph were
to show the daughter having

00:10:29.770 --> 00:10:32.110 align:middle line:84%
emerged victorious
from the woods,

00:10:32.110 --> 00:10:35.620 align:middle line:84%
a good four or five seconds
ahead of her competitors,

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her sweet face rapt and
dripping with sweat,

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her green shorts flashing like
the neon streak of a dragonfly

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past the father's gaze, who
is beaming as she crosses

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the finish line and accepts
the high five from her coach

00:10:50.560 --> 00:10:56.300 align:middle line:84%
while still running, then looks
up to catch his eye and grin.

00:10:56.300 --> 00:11:00.080 align:middle line:84%
No one ever would have predicted
that her brain box would not

00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:01.040 align:middle line:90%
survive.

00:11:01.040 --> 00:11:03.650 align:middle line:84%
How fragile we are,
the father often

00:11:03.650 --> 00:11:08.660 align:middle line:84%
thinks, thinking also at the
same time, how intrepid we are.

00:11:08.660 --> 00:11:12.560 align:middle line:84%
Before he leaves, he places
the hideous dwarf figurine

00:11:12.560 --> 00:11:14.570 align:middle line:84%
on his daughter's
bureau, and she

00:11:14.570 --> 00:11:17.270 align:middle line:84%
looks at it in bewilderment,
as if she had never

00:11:17.270 --> 00:11:18.500 align:middle line:90%
seen it before.

00:11:18.500 --> 00:11:21.710 align:middle line:84%
'What in the world is
that?' she asks him.

00:11:21.710 --> 00:11:24.800 align:middle line:84%
This is when he cradles
her head in his arms

00:11:24.800 --> 00:11:27.920 align:middle line:84%
and smells that lovely
place where her hair meets

00:11:27.920 --> 00:11:30.230 align:middle line:90%
her freckled forehead.

00:11:30.230 --> 00:11:32.690 align:middle line:84%
The TV lowered,
the roommate is now

00:11:32.690 --> 00:11:36.680 align:middle line:84%
snoozing into her cushion, the
rattle of her monster breath

00:11:36.680 --> 00:11:39.500 align:middle line:84%
causing the embroidered
monkey to somersault

00:11:39.500 --> 00:11:41.600 align:middle line:90%
on the embroidered branch.

00:11:41.600 --> 00:11:43.700 align:middle line:84%
'Don't love her,'
says the daughter.

00:11:43.700 --> 00:11:48.530 align:middle line:84%
'Don't ever love her,' At this,
the roommate will open one hand

00:11:48.530 --> 00:11:52.100 align:middle line:84%
slicked eye and hiss,
'she needs your help.'

00:11:52.100 --> 00:11:55.190 align:middle line:84%
'You fucking bitch,' the
daughter will then scream,

00:11:55.190 --> 00:11:59.630 align:middle line:84%
and this scream will pierce
the father's heart and neatly

00:11:59.630 --> 00:12:03.470 align:middle line:84%
hollow him out,
despite the buffler.

00:12:03.470 --> 00:12:07.970 align:middle line:84%
'I go from city to city, town
to town, looking for a soup

00:12:07.970 --> 00:12:11.660 align:middle line:84%
to sip, a dog to poke,
for a rock to throw,

00:12:11.660 --> 00:12:14.120 align:middle line:84%
and life has done
me dirt, all right.

00:12:14.120 --> 00:12:16.550 align:middle line:90%
Life has done me dirt.'

00:12:16.550 --> 00:12:19.670 align:middle line:84%
The words to the song are
not precisely accurate,

00:12:19.670 --> 00:12:20.870 align:middle line:90%
the father knows.

00:12:20.870 --> 00:12:25.910 align:middle line:84%
But they capture the
defeated spirit of the time."

00:12:25.910 --> 00:12:27.500 align:middle line:90%
Thank you.

00:12:27.500 --> 00:12:28.000 align:middle line:90%