WEBVTT

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Do you guys know
who Bear Grylls is?

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So he's like this
survivalist, has a show,

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and then they parachute him
to the Amazon, or the Sahara

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desert.

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And he's there for a week,
he's trying to survive.

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For some reason, he
always swims naked.

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So that's actually what kind
of pulled me into the show

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initially.

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So this is a prose poem.

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It's called, "Urban Jungle."

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"On prime time TV, which
means nothing anymore,

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Bear Grylls, survival
expert slash adventurer

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slash Eton grad,
scavenges a carcass

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in the Zambian wilderness.

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Before hyenas arrive, he
slices flesh off a furry leg

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amid a swirl of feasting flies.

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It would be safer if he
cooks it, he narrates.

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But there's no time for fire, so
he bites into pink and gristle.

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His thin upper lip
leaves me a quiver.

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I then cannot masticate
my tacos carnitas.

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My guacamole greens darker.

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Once he consumes
his protein, Bear

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gallops deeper into
scrubland, strategizing

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the arduous intricacies
of staying alive.

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He'll spend the molasses
night atop a baobab,

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the tree of life, which fruits
he harvests with logs flung.

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I fetched the tiramisu
gelato from the freezer.

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Bear dodges hippos,
elephants, climbs cliffs,

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discovers safe water.

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I'm buzzed on pinot noir.

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By this time, Bear
has devoured a bevy

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of coveted proteins,
caterpillars,

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squeezed empty of his
green innards, roasted.

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Bullfrogs, fish with
a thorn tree branch

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once used by the Rhodesian
army for torture.

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I sip my cup of Darjeeling.

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Survival is hard work."

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[APPLAUSE]

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