Do you guys know who Bear Grylls is?
So he's like this survivalist, has a show,
and then they parachute him to the Amazon, or the Sahara
desert.
And he's there for a week, he's trying to survive.
For some reason, he always swims naked.
So that's actually what kind of pulled me into the show
initially.
So this is a prose poem.
It's called, "Urban Jungle."
"On prime time TV, which means nothing anymore,
Bear Grylls, survival expert slash adventurer
slash Eton grad, scavenges a carcass
in the Zambian wilderness.
Before hyenas arrive, he slices flesh off a furry leg
amid a swirl of feasting flies.
It would be safer if he cooks it, he narrates.
But there's no time for fire, so he bites into pink and gristle.
His thin upper lip leaves me a quiver.
I then cannot masticate my tacos carnitas.
My guacamole greens darker.
Once he consumes his protein, Bear
gallops deeper into scrubland, strategizing
the arduous intricacies of staying alive.
He'll spend the molasses night atop a baobab,
the tree of life, which fruits he harvests with logs flung.
I fetched the tiramisu gelato from the freezer.
Bear dodges hippos, elephants, climbs cliffs,
discovers safe water.
I'm buzzed on pinot noir.
By this time, Bear has devoured a bevy
of coveted proteins, caterpillars,
squeezed empty of his green innards, roasted.
Bullfrogs, fish with a thorn tree branch
once used by the Rhodesian army for torture.
I sip my cup of Darjeeling.
Survival is hard work."
[APPLAUSE]