WEBVTT

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So just a moment of
time where our guy's

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starting to fall apart.

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The second section I'll read
is about the nurse, Pauline.

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And Pauline is a
35-year-old woman

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who was raised by
a mentally ill man.

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And anyone who's been raised
by somebody mentally ill

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knows it's really
tricky, it's tricky to be

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around someone that's unstable.

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And you never know what's going
to come out of their mouth

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or what landmine
you might run into.

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And so she spent her whole life
building walls around herself

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to protect herself.

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And now we find her at
35, and she lives alone,

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and she's pretty isolated,
and in a lot of ways,

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maybe she's losing her humanity.

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And then she meets a
kid, a runaway girl

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who comes into her
floor who's a junkie.

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And she falls in
love with the kid,

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she wants to save the kid
because the kid reminds

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her of herself.

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So I think she jumps
over all her safety walls

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to try to save someone, this
is just a nice little moment

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between the two.

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And this is "Pauline."

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"'You're awake and
you're back on my floor!

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All good news for me.

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How you feeling, Jo?'

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'All right, I guess,'
the girl said.

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'On a scale of 1 to 10, how
would you rate your pain?'

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'Maybe a 4,' Jo said.

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Pauline looked at her watch,
'Well, I have a couple

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of minutes and my feet
hurt, do you mind if I sit?'

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Jo just shook her
head, so Pauline

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sat at the bedside chair.

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'Well, how was surgery?'

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'Well, it wasn't that bad
because they put me to sleep.'

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'Well, I told you
it'd be all right.'

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'Well, I'm glad you
came and got me.'

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'Me too,' Pauline said,
and took off her shoes,

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and stretched her feet,
and then put them back on.

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'Have you been eating?'

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'Well, not really,'
the girl said.

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'Well, hospital food isn't
as bad as people say.'

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'I know.' 'And can I
tell you something?

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For as rough as you've had
it, you have great skin,

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and all the nurses
talk about it.'

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Jo tried to smile, but her
face was sunken with worry.

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'You're going to be
OK,' Pauline said.

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'But what am I going to do now?'

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'You're going to get better.'

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'But where am I going
to go after that?'

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'Well, you can worry about
that when you get a little

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stronger.'

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'But they're all going
to leave without me.'

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Pauline looked out into
the hall, saw it empty,

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and then turned to the
girl and whispered,

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'They were going to let you
get sicker and sicker until you

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died or lost your
leg, and you have

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to think about that
because that's true.

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And as much as it
hurts to hear about it,

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they don't care about you, Jo.

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They just don't.

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Look, I know you're
alone, but you

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have to learn how to be all
right when you're alone.

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And if you don't, you'll
end up in situations like

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you're in, and you
don't deserve that.'

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'But maybe I do deserve
it,' the girl said.

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'You really think so?'

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'Maybe.' 'But what have you done
to deserve living in a freezing

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house with no water with
three junkie boys who use you,

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who would rather get a blowjob
than help you get better?'

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'Well, I've been pregnant,' Jo
said quietly and covered her

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face with her hands.

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'You have?' She nodded.

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'What happened?' 'I had an
abortion,' she whispered

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in tears.

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'Oh, hun,' Pauline said and
set her hand on the girl's arm.

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Jo closed her eyes and
turned her head away.

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'Well, what about your family?'

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'Well, I won't go back there.'

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'And you don't have
an aunt or an uncle,

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or a cousin you
could stay with?'

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The girl just shook her head.

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'Well, those boys aren't
going to end up anywhere good.

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Believe me, I know.

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I've seen it.

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I see it here all the time.

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If you have to
follow a man around,

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there's a lot
better ones to try.'

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The girl wiped her eyes and
turned back to the nurse.

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'Well, do you have a husband?'

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'Me?' Pauline said
and smiled, 'No.'

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'Well, why not?' 'Because
I don't want one.

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How about you?

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Do you want a husband?'

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'Me?

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Why would you ask me?'

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'We're having a conversation.

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If we're going to be friends,
you ask me a question

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and I answer, and then I
ask you one and you answer.

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That's just how it works.'

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'Well, no one would want me
because I'm a freak,' the girl

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said.

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'You're not a freak.'

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'I am.' 'I've seen
a lot of freaks,

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and you're not one.' 'But I am!'

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'You're not.

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I win, end of discussion.'

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Jo paused, then
cleared her throat

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and wiped her eyes again.

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'Why aren't you married?'

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'Why are you so worried
about me being married?'

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'Well, I'm not worried about it.

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I'm just asking.' 'Well, I
wanted to be once,' Pauline

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said and got back up.

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'All right, let's take a
look at those packings.

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I got to get back to work.'

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'But who did you want to marry?'

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Pauline pulled the
curtain around the bed

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and took back the
blanket and sheet.

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'I lived with a guy when I
got out of nursing school.

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I wanted to marry him.'

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'Well, what was he like?'

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'He was all right
at first,' she said.

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'Then what happened?' 'Well,
he was always telling me what

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to do; that's one
thing against him.

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I'd work all day and
then go to my dad's house

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and make sure he was OK, and
then he'd tell me what to do.

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Then I'd go home and take
care of my boyfriend,

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and he'd tell me what to do.

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And the only things
my boyfriend liked

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were sports, hunting,
and drinking beer.

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He couldn't boil water, he
could barely hold a job.

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But I loved him.

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I was crazy about him.'

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'Really?' 'Yeah, I kept
asking him to marry me.'

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'And he didn't
want to marry you?'

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'No.' 'Where is he now?'

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'He moved back to Spokane.

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He's been married
and divorced twice,

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and has kids from both women.

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He went bald and got fat,
and he's always out of work.

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And the last I heard,
he was living with his

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brother,' Pauline
said and smiled,

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and pulled back the bandages
and looked at the packings.

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'Hey, they look good,
they did good work on you.

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I bet you'll be OK in no time
if you start eating, Jo.'

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The girl said, 'Well, why
did you want to marry him

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in the first place then?'

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She pulled the
girl's gown back down

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and covered her with
a sheet and blanket.

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'Well, back then I
wanted to be normal.

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That was my big dream.

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Some of the friends I
made in nursing school

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were getting married and having
kids, I wanted to be like them.

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And I wanted to admit
that he needed me, that he

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couldn't live without me.

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I was young.

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Anyway, I did
everything for him--

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I did his laundry, cooked, made
sure he got up in the morning

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and made his lunch,
when he worked.

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I watched football with him and
went to car and sports shows

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with him.

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And then I would spend
days freaking out.'

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She put her hand on Jo's
arm and gently shook it.

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'I'd say things
like, do you need me?

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Are you sure you really need me?

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Are you going to
want me forever?

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Are you going to
want me for all time?

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Are you going to want me
until we're old and dying?

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I'd say the stupidest things.

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I was a mess, and I put
a lot of pressure on him.

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It drove him crazy--

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it would drive anybody crazy.

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So then he left me.'

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'He really left you?'

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Pauline nodded, and pushed
the curtain back and out

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of the way.

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'Was it awful when he left?'

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'For a while.

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I was so heartbroken, I
didn't know what to do.

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I just wanted to die.

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But after a while, it
was OK,' Pauline said.

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'And then I was just
lucky to get out.

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He wasn't much of a man.

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I was just so scared
of being alone

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and unloved that I
would have married

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a tire if it had asked me.

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Anyway, Jo, you don't have
to do anything right now.

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Your only job is to start taking
care of yourself, all right?'

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'I wish I was like you.'

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The girl said.

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Pauline went to the counter--

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I mean, went to the computer
and began entering notes.

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'That's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me,

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thank you.

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OK, I have to get back
to my other patients.

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I can't sit around having
a good time all night.

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They fire nurses for that.

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And if you really want
to be like me, eat--

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that's something I'm good at.

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Even if they give you some sort
of weird casserole, all right?'

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'All right,' Jo said."

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So that's the second section.

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