So just a moment of time where our guy's
starting to fall apart.
The second section I'll read is about the nurse, Pauline.
And Pauline is a 35-year-old woman
who was raised by a mentally ill man.
And anyone who's been raised by somebody mentally ill
knows it's really tricky, it's tricky to be
around someone that's unstable.
And you never know what's going to come out of their mouth
or what landmine you might run into.
And so she spent her whole life building walls around herself
to protect herself.
And now we find her at 35, and she lives alone,
and she's pretty isolated, and in a lot of ways,
maybe she's losing her humanity.
And then she meets a kid, a runaway girl
who comes into her floor who's a junkie.
And she falls in love with the kid,
she wants to save the kid because the kid reminds
her of herself.
So I think she jumps over all her safety walls
to try to save someone, this is just a nice little moment
between the two.
And this is "Pauline."
"'You're awake and you're back on my floor!
All good news for me.
How you feeling, Jo?'
'All right, I guess,' the girl said.
'On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your pain?'
'Maybe a 4,' Jo said.
Pauline looked at her watch, 'Well, I have a couple
of minutes and my feet hurt, do you mind if I sit?'
Jo just shook her head, so Pauline
sat at the bedside chair.
'Well, how was surgery?'
'Well, it wasn't that bad because they put me to sleep.'
'Well, I told you it'd be all right.'
'Well, I'm glad you came and got me.'
'Me too,' Pauline said, and took off her shoes,
and stretched her feet, and then put them back on.
'Have you been eating?'
'Well, not really,' the girl said.
'Well, hospital food isn't as bad as people say.'
'I know.' 'And can I tell you something?
For as rough as you've had it, you have great skin,
and all the nurses talk about it.'
Jo tried to smile, but her face was sunken with worry.
'You're going to be OK,' Pauline said.
'But what am I going to do now?'
'You're going to get better.'
'But where am I going to go after that?'
'Well, you can worry about that when you get a little
stronger.'
'But they're all going to leave without me.'
Pauline looked out into the hall, saw it empty,
and then turned to the girl and whispered,
'They were going to let you get sicker and sicker until you
died or lost your leg, and you have
to think about that because that's true.
And as much as it hurts to hear about it,
they don't care about you, Jo.
They just don't.
Look, I know you're alone, but you
have to learn how to be all right when you're alone.
And if you don't, you'll end up in situations like
you're in, and you don't deserve that.'
'But maybe I do deserve it,' the girl said.
'You really think so?'
'Maybe.' 'But what have you done to deserve living in a freezing
house with no water with three junkie boys who use you,
who would rather get a blowjob than help you get better?'
'Well, I've been pregnant,' Jo said quietly and covered her
face with her hands.
'You have?' She nodded.
'What happened?' 'I had an abortion,' she whispered
in tears.
'Oh, hun,' Pauline said and set her hand on the girl's arm.
Jo closed her eyes and turned her head away.
'Well, what about your family?'
'Well, I won't go back there.'
'And you don't have an aunt or an uncle,
or a cousin you could stay with?'
The girl just shook her head.
'Well, those boys aren't going to end up anywhere good.
Believe me, I know.
I've seen it.
I see it here all the time.
If you have to follow a man around,
there's a lot better ones to try.'
The girl wiped her eyes and turned back to the nurse.
'Well, do you have a husband?'
'Me?' Pauline said and smiled, 'No.'
'Well, why not?' 'Because I don't want one.
How about you?
Do you want a husband?'
'Me?
Why would you ask me?'
'We're having a conversation.
If we're going to be friends, you ask me a question
and I answer, and then I ask you one and you answer.
That's just how it works.'
'Well, no one would want me because I'm a freak,' the girl
said.
'You're not a freak.'
'I am.' 'I've seen a lot of freaks,
and you're not one.' 'But I am!'
'You're not.
I win, end of discussion.'
Jo paused, then cleared her throat
and wiped her eyes again.
'Why aren't you married?'
'Why are you so worried about me being married?'
'Well, I'm not worried about it.
I'm just asking.' 'Well, I wanted to be once,' Pauline
said and got back up.
'All right, let's take a look at those packings.
I got to get back to work.'
'But who did you want to marry?'
Pauline pulled the curtain around the bed
and took back the blanket and sheet.
'I lived with a guy when I got out of nursing school.
I wanted to marry him.'
'Well, what was he like?'
'He was all right at first,' she said.
'Then what happened?' 'Well, he was always telling me what
to do; that's one thing against him.
I'd work all day and then go to my dad's house
and make sure he was OK, and then he'd tell me what to do.
Then I'd go home and take care of my boyfriend,
and he'd tell me what to do.
And the only things my boyfriend liked
were sports, hunting, and drinking beer.
He couldn't boil water, he could barely hold a job.
But I loved him.
I was crazy about him.'
'Really?' 'Yeah, I kept asking him to marry me.'
'And he didn't want to marry you?'
'No.' 'Where is he now?'
'He moved back to Spokane.
He's been married and divorced twice,
and has kids from both women.
He went bald and got fat, and he's always out of work.
And the last I heard, he was living with his
brother,' Pauline said and smiled,
and pulled back the bandages and looked at the packings.
'Hey, they look good, they did good work on you.
I bet you'll be OK in no time if you start eating, Jo.'
The girl said, 'Well, why did you want to marry him
in the first place then?'
She pulled the girl's gown back down
and covered her with a sheet and blanket.
'Well, back then I wanted to be normal.
That was my big dream.
Some of the friends I made in nursing school
were getting married and having kids, I wanted to be like them.
And I wanted to admit that he needed me, that he
couldn't live without me.
I was young.
Anyway, I did everything for him--
I did his laundry, cooked, made sure he got up in the morning
and made his lunch, when he worked.
I watched football with him and went to car and sports shows
with him.
And then I would spend days freaking out.'
She put her hand on Jo's arm and gently shook it.
'I'd say things like, do you need me?
Are you sure you really need me?
Are you going to want me forever?
Are you going to want me for all time?
Are you going to want me until we're old and dying?
I'd say the stupidest things.
I was a mess, and I put a lot of pressure on him.
It drove him crazy--
it would drive anybody crazy.
So then he left me.'
'He really left you?'
Pauline nodded, and pushed the curtain back and out
of the way.
'Was it awful when he left?'
'For a while.
I was so heartbroken, I didn't know what to do.
I just wanted to die.
But after a while, it was OK,' Pauline said.
'And then I was just lucky to get out.
He wasn't much of a man.
I was just so scared of being alone
and unloved that I would have married
a tire if it had asked me.
Anyway, Jo, you don't have to do anything right now.
Your only job is to start taking care of yourself, all right?'
'I wish I was like you.'
The girl said.
Pauline went to the counter--
I mean, went to the computer and began entering notes.
'That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me,
thank you.
OK, I have to get back to my other patients.
I can't sit around having a good time all night.
They fire nurses for that.
And if you really want to be like me, eat--
that's something I'm good at.
Even if they give you some sort of weird casserole, all right?'
'All right,' Jo said."
So that's the second section.