WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.970 align:middle line:90% 00:00:04.970 --> 00:00:06.800 align:middle line:90% And that's the next one. 00:00:06.800 --> 00:00:09.170 align:middle line:84% This is-- I mean, have you seen Predator? 00:00:09.170 --> 00:00:12.650 align:middle line:84% Is Predator still sort of in conversation among y'all? 00:00:12.650 --> 00:00:14.450 align:middle line:84% You need to go home and watch Predator. 00:00:14.450 --> 00:00:16.325 align:middle line:84% All you people who have not watched Predator, 00:00:16.325 --> 00:00:19.280 align:middle line:84% you need to watch Predator, and then read the novelization, 00:00:19.280 --> 00:00:21.560 align:middle line:84% and then read some poems about Predator. 00:00:21.560 --> 00:00:24.110 align:middle line:84% So if anyone's working on any Alien poems, 00:00:24.110 --> 00:00:26.285 align:middle line:84% we could do an Alien vs. Predator reading. 00:00:26.285 --> 00:00:27.140 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:27.140 --> 00:00:28.970 align:middle line:84% So this is the second Predator poem 00:00:28.970 --> 00:00:30.942 align:middle line:84% and this is to-- it's called "To a Sunbeam," 00:00:30.942 --> 00:00:32.900 align:middle line:84% and it requires a little bit of an explanation, 00:00:32.900 --> 00:00:37.480 align:middle line:84% that Sunbeam makes Mr. Coffee coffee machines. 00:00:37.480 --> 00:00:39.430 align:middle line:84% "To a Sunbeam," and this has an epigraph, too. 00:00:39.430 --> 00:00:42.550 align:middle line:84% "Why strip a man of his skin, why bother? 00:00:42.550 --> 00:00:45.192 align:middle line:84% There were so many easier ways to hurt." 00:00:45.192 --> 00:00:46.150 align:middle line:90% Paul Monette, Predator. 00:00:46.150 --> 00:00:48.070 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:48.070 --> 00:00:51.130 align:middle line:84% Dear Predator, can we talk about this carafe? 00:00:51.130 --> 00:00:54.020 align:middle line:90% Its Mr. Coffee pour is superior. 00:00:54.020 --> 00:00:56.380 align:middle line:84% The last one dribbled like a palsied mouth 00:00:56.380 --> 00:00:58.210 align:middle line:90% that had been punched too much. 00:00:58.210 --> 00:01:00.370 align:middle line:84% I get to talk, because I have palsy. 00:01:00.370 --> 00:01:01.600 align:middle line:90% I have pals. 00:01:01.600 --> 00:01:03.460 align:middle line:90% I ring bells professionally. 00:01:03.460 --> 00:01:04.690 align:middle line:90% I'm no pansy. 00:01:04.690 --> 00:01:07.840 align:middle line:84% I bear the pall like a baller down the aisle. 00:01:07.840 --> 00:01:10.540 align:middle line:84% Like a whale, I roll with my baleen. 00:01:10.540 --> 00:01:15.640 align:middle line:84% I am a queen for krill, I kill when called in a funereal role. 00:01:15.640 --> 00:01:17.800 align:middle line:90% So if you die, consider me. 00:01:17.800 --> 00:01:19.990 align:middle line:90% If you are killed, consider me. 00:01:19.990 --> 00:01:22.570 align:middle line:84% If you are stripped of skin and hung from trees, 00:01:22.570 --> 00:01:24.070 align:middle line:90% you have bigger problems. 00:01:24.070 --> 00:01:26.680 align:middle line:84% Once those are resolved, consider me. 00:01:26.680 --> 00:01:29.020 align:middle line:84% It's only in the wake when someone else dies 00:01:29.020 --> 00:01:31.300 align:middle line:84% that I feel as alive as I did back then, 00:01:31.300 --> 00:01:34.000 align:middle line:84% out there in what we thought was a Central American jungle-- 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:35.980 align:middle line:90% it turned out to be Mexico. 00:01:35.980 --> 00:01:39.490 align:middle line:84% Like a teen, it was trimmed to be more filmable. 00:01:39.490 --> 00:01:41.350 align:middle line:90% It's still groomed for you-- 00:01:41.350 --> 00:01:44.440 align:middle line:84% visit the location, drink in the patio at El Eden. 00:01:44.440 --> 00:01:48.130 align:middle line:84% The crashed chopper hangs from trees perpetually. 00:01:48.130 --> 00:01:52.960 align:middle line:84% Entrees include mar y tierra Jesse Ventura, Major Dutch's 00:01:52.960 --> 00:01:57.010 align:middle line:84% camarones gigantes, the Predator seafood platter, and skewers 00:01:57.010 --> 00:01:58.150 align:middle line:90% from the jungle. 00:01:58.150 --> 00:01:59.650 align:middle line:90% These things are real. 00:01:59.650 --> 00:02:02.800 align:middle line:84% This skin is real, it peels well. 00:02:02.800 --> 00:02:04.900 align:middle line:90% I like my plastic pornographic. 00:02:04.900 --> 00:02:08.770 align:middle line:84% I want to feel it when I touch a tit, or a governor in a mall. 00:02:08.770 --> 00:02:10.330 align:middle line:90% These too are real. 00:02:10.330 --> 00:02:12.490 align:middle line:84% They speak on television, their skin 00:02:12.490 --> 00:02:14.410 align:middle line:90% is not as thin as we imagine. 00:02:14.410 --> 00:02:18.190 align:middle line:84% Having died on screen, they know how to give their ghosts away. 00:02:18.190 --> 00:02:22.780 align:middle line:84% Minnesota, California, euphoria, diphtheria, mild dislike 00:02:22.780 --> 00:02:25.870 align:middle line:84% of Unitarians, failing as a vegetarian, 00:02:25.870 --> 00:02:29.140 align:middle line:84% corniness, bad loneliness-- these are states 00:02:29.140 --> 00:02:31.690 align:middle line:90% in which I can believe or live. 00:02:31.690 --> 00:02:34.570 align:middle line:84% To live, I drink my coffee black, or say I do, 00:02:34.570 --> 00:02:36.160 align:middle line:90% on account of how it sounds. 00:02:36.160 --> 00:02:38.260 align:middle line:84% Monette writes, you didn't drink a pint 00:02:38.260 --> 00:02:40.382 align:middle line:84% if someone else was packing away a fifth." 00:02:40.382 --> 00:02:41.590 align:middle line:90% That's my Paul Monette voice. 00:02:41.590 --> 00:02:43.330 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:43.330 --> 00:02:44.860 align:middle line:90% "I keep up with the boys. 00:02:44.860 --> 00:02:46.270 align:middle line:90% I have the tools. 00:02:46.270 --> 00:02:49.450 align:middle line:84% Like this carafe, I like my coffee black and smooth. 00:02:49.450 --> 00:02:51.610 align:middle line:84% I get aroused when I watch it pour. 00:02:51.610 --> 00:02:53.680 align:middle line:90% No drip-- I'm bored, America. 00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:56.830 align:middle line:84% How rare is it when a new model solves a problem? 00:02:56.830 --> 00:03:00.100 align:middle line:84% How rare is it when any model solves a problem? 00:03:00.100 --> 00:03:01.990 align:middle line:84% I know I'm being unfair to models. 00:03:01.990 --> 00:03:03.880 align:middle line:90% They feel too, are full too. 00:03:03.880 --> 00:03:05.200 align:middle line:90% They aren't just hulls-- 00:03:05.200 --> 00:03:06.670 align:middle line:84% when I remove their shells, they're 00:03:06.670 --> 00:03:09.610 align:middle line:84% circuit boards with smiles and pills. 00:03:09.610 --> 00:03:13.810 align:middle line:84% Well, if I can't have a palsy party, I'll have a pity party-- 00:03:13.810 --> 00:03:16.000 align:middle line:84% with my warty kitties, my memories 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:19.750 align:middle line:84% of war, the way the coffee used to pour from the old carafe. 00:03:19.750 --> 00:03:21.700 align:middle line:90% I need to laugh or I'll explode. 00:03:21.700 --> 00:03:23.500 align:middle line:84% I need to have some kind of party. 00:03:23.500 --> 00:03:26.050 align:middle line:84% I'm having this baby, you can't stop me, 00:03:26.050 --> 00:03:27.265 align:middle line:90% on account of nothing can." 00:03:27.265 --> 00:03:29.667 align:middle line:90% 00:03:29.667 --> 00:03:31.000 align:middle line:90% So those are the Predator poems. 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:32.440 align:middle line:84% There's like a whole bunch of-- the whole book 00:03:32.440 --> 00:03:33.520 align:middle line:90% is going to be Predator poems. 00:03:33.520 --> 00:03:35.410 align:middle line:84% I was trying to explain this to my editor. 00:03:35.410 --> 00:03:37.090 align:middle line:84% She's like, oh, hm, that's great, 00:03:37.090 --> 00:03:37.810 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:03:37.810 --> 00:03:39.185 align:middle line:90% It's an amazing project. 00:03:39.185 --> 00:03:41.560 align:middle line:84% But it is an amazing project, and it's going to be great. 00:03:41.560 --> 00:03:44.530 align:middle line:84% Because Predator is a great movie, and the poems 00:03:44.530 --> 00:03:45.280 align:middle line:90% are all right too. 00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:47.130 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER]