WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.020 align:middle line:90% Thank you, Maddie. 00:00:01.020 --> 00:00:02.490 align:middle line:90% That's really sweet. 00:00:02.490 --> 00:00:05.862 align:middle line:84% And thank you, Ander and Alison and everyone here. 00:00:05.862 --> 00:00:06.570 align:middle line:90% Thank you, Tyler. 00:00:06.570 --> 00:00:09.240 align:middle line:90% Thank you, Becka. 00:00:09.240 --> 00:00:11.948 align:middle line:84% Yes, it feels like coming home, and it also 00:00:11.948 --> 00:00:13.740 align:middle line:84% feels kind of very surreal at the same time 00:00:13.740 --> 00:00:15.550 align:middle line:90% to be able to do this. 00:00:15.550 --> 00:00:18.330 align:middle line:90% And I feel very, very lucky. 00:00:18.330 --> 00:00:22.470 align:middle line:84% So yeah, thank you for having me in this kind of temporary home. 00:00:22.470 --> 00:00:26.790 align:middle line:90% 00:00:26.790 --> 00:00:29.230 align:middle line:84% I write very long essays most of the time. 00:00:29.230 --> 00:00:36.650 align:middle line:84% So I think I'll just read two halves, and they're both about, 00:00:36.650 --> 00:00:38.270 align:middle line:90% I guess, transformations. 00:00:38.270 --> 00:00:41.330 align:middle line:84% Maybe that's kind of a BS linkage for them. 00:00:41.330 --> 00:00:43.670 align:middle line:84% But they're both about transformations-- two halves 00:00:43.670 --> 00:00:45.570 align:middle line:90% of those. 00:00:45.570 --> 00:00:49.265 align:middle line:84% And the first is called "The Path to the Saints." 00:00:49.265 --> 00:00:50.390 align:middle line:90% And you really can hear me? 00:00:50.390 --> 00:00:51.920 align:middle line:90% You swear to that? 00:00:51.920 --> 00:00:54.660 align:middle line:90% OK, all right. 00:00:54.660 --> 00:00:56.295 align:middle line:84% So this is "The Path to the Saints." 00:00:56.295 --> 00:00:59.280 align:middle line:90% 00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:03.330 align:middle line:84% "In 2008, microbiologists discovered two new species 00:01:03.330 --> 00:01:08.400 align:middle line:84% of bacteria growing within the catacombs of Priscilla in Rome. 00:01:08.400 --> 00:01:11.100 align:middle line:84% This discovery thrilled the admittedly narrow set 00:01:11.100 --> 00:01:13.890 align:middle line:84% of biologists since the bacteria's existence 00:01:13.890 --> 00:01:16.830 align:middle line:84% contained useful keys on how to better preserve 00:01:16.830 --> 00:01:18.990 align:middle line:90% the underground networks. 00:01:18.990 --> 00:01:22.350 align:middle line:84% Yet the bacteria also ate away at the catacomb walls, 00:01:22.350 --> 00:01:24.600 align:middle line:84% staining the volcanic rock white, 00:01:24.600 --> 00:01:26.970 align:middle line:84% causing minerals to dry out until they became 00:01:26.970 --> 00:01:31.500 align:middle line:84% a fine powder, an efflorescence like granulated flour or ground 00:01:31.500 --> 00:01:32.610 align:middle line:90% bone. 00:01:32.610 --> 00:01:35.430 align:middle line:84% Their presence created a dilemma. 00:01:35.430 --> 00:01:39.270 align:middle line:84% What is to be done when the only thing left alive in a place 00:01:39.270 --> 00:01:42.680 align:middle line:90% also destroys it? 00:01:42.680 --> 00:01:45.730 align:middle line:84% I lived in the north of Rome in the fall of 2006. 00:01:45.730 --> 00:01:49.030 align:middle line:84% Tourist maps cut off this part of the city, the neighborhood 00:01:49.030 --> 00:01:52.930 align:middle line:84% outside the ancient walls where the Romans buried their dead. 00:01:52.930 --> 00:01:55.450 align:middle line:84% I was studying abroad for a semester in college, 00:01:55.450 --> 00:01:58.750 align:middle line:84% and so lived is probably the wrong word. 00:01:58.750 --> 00:02:00.760 align:middle line:84% A friend once said you only lived in a place 00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:02.110 align:middle line:90% if you received mail there. 00:02:02.110 --> 00:02:04.130 align:middle line:90% And I did not. 00:02:04.130 --> 00:02:05.800 align:middle line:84% Instead, I rolled my suitcase into 00:02:05.800 --> 00:02:07.960 align:middle line:84% a small, windowless bedroom for a home stay 00:02:07.960 --> 00:02:11.050 align:middle line:84% with Paolo, an architect in his late 30s. 00:02:11.050 --> 00:02:13.090 align:middle line:84% Paolo lived by himself in an apartment 00:02:13.090 --> 00:02:16.570 align:middle line:84% his mother owned on a street named after Vivaldi. 00:02:16.570 --> 00:02:19.000 align:middle line:84% He rented the extra room to students. 00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:21.160 align:middle line:84% I was one of the dozen or so Americans that 00:02:21.160 --> 00:02:22.810 align:middle line:84% had stayed with him over the years, 00:02:22.810 --> 00:02:24.640 align:middle line:84% though he did not speak much English. 00:02:24.640 --> 00:02:28.180 align:middle line:84% And I, despite having wanted to go to Rome for three years, 00:02:28.180 --> 00:02:31.510 align:middle line:90% knew no Italian. 00:02:31.510 --> 00:02:34.900 align:middle line:84% Paolo, by his own account, was a melancholy guy. 00:02:34.900 --> 00:02:36.670 align:middle line:84% He listened to Tom Waits at night. 00:02:36.670 --> 00:02:40.060 align:middle line:84% And since architectural work was slim in the Italian economy, 00:02:40.060 --> 00:02:43.160 align:middle line:84% he drafted freelance designs at his desk. 00:02:43.160 --> 00:02:47.380 align:middle line:84% He owned a computer from the 1990s that he never turned on. 00:02:47.380 --> 00:02:51.010 align:middle line:84% He had curly, pipe-cleaner hair swept back from his forehead, 00:02:51.010 --> 00:02:54.040 align:middle line:84% giving the impression he might bald someday. 00:02:54.040 --> 00:02:58.300 align:middle line:84% He looked like the villain from a movie I couldn't remember. 00:02:58.300 --> 00:03:00.010 align:middle line:90% I was very nervous to meet him. 00:03:00.010 --> 00:03:02.260 align:middle line:84% And the first thing I did was to explain, 00:03:02.260 --> 00:03:04.030 align:middle line:84% with demonstrative hand gestures, 00:03:04.030 --> 00:03:08.410 align:middle line:84% that I did not like George W. Bush. 00:03:08.410 --> 00:03:09.880 align:middle line:90% Paolo was disciplined. 00:03:09.880 --> 00:03:12.010 align:middle line:84% He trained for half marathons in the park, 00:03:12.010 --> 00:03:14.440 align:middle line:84% and he timed his pasta with a stopwatch. 00:03:14.440 --> 00:03:18.010 align:middle line:84% He allowed himself a baby can of Coke with dinner each night. 00:03:18.010 --> 00:03:22.480 align:middle line:84% Mio vizio, he'd say, pointing to the can, my vice. 00:03:22.480 --> 00:03:24.160 align:middle line:84% We ate together at his kitchen table 00:03:24.160 --> 00:03:26.110 align:middle line:84% while watching histrionic Italian game 00:03:26.110 --> 00:03:28.060 align:middle line:84% shows where contestants had to choose 00:03:28.060 --> 00:03:31.240 align:middle line:84% between the unknown contents of large wooden boxes 00:03:31.240 --> 00:03:34.390 align:middle line:84% and follow sets of seemingly arbitrary, inconsequential 00:03:34.390 --> 00:03:35.410 align:middle line:90% rules. 00:03:35.410 --> 00:03:38.800 align:middle line:84% 'I hate this show,' Paolo would say. 00:03:38.800 --> 00:03:43.410 align:middle line:84% Then he'd go on to explain its rules to me. 00:03:43.410 --> 00:03:45.060 align:middle line:84% Shortly after I moved in with Paolo, 00:03:45.060 --> 00:03:48.630 align:middle line:84% my father became unexpectedly sick and he began to die, 00:03:48.630 --> 00:03:53.250 align:middle line:84% hospitalized first in Rio de Janeiro and then New York City. 00:03:53.250 --> 00:03:55.500 align:middle line:84% I did a lot of walking around those months, 00:03:55.500 --> 00:03:58.890 align:middle line:84% beating the same path between school and Paolo's apartment, 00:03:58.890 --> 00:04:03.030 align:middle line:84% waiting for bad news via expensive cell phone calls. 00:04:03.030 --> 00:04:05.490 align:middle line:84% I watched old women walk around my neighborhood 00:04:05.490 --> 00:04:08.600 align:middle line:84% and grew furious at them for their health. 00:04:08.600 --> 00:04:10.640 align:middle line:84% I'd wandered down to Villa Borghese where 00:04:10.640 --> 00:04:12.230 align:middle line:84% I'd stare at the Bernini sculptures 00:04:12.230 --> 00:04:14.210 align:middle line:90% alongside the other tourists. 00:04:14.210 --> 00:04:16.790 align:middle line:84% Dutiful Aeneas with Anchises on his back, 00:04:16.790 --> 00:04:19.880 align:middle line:84% carrying his aged father out of Troy. 00:04:19.880 --> 00:04:22.640 align:middle line:84% I'd circle the highways that ringed the city, lost 00:04:22.640 --> 00:04:25.040 align:middle line:84% in the middle of the night until the metros opened 00:04:25.040 --> 00:04:26.390 align:middle line:90% in the morning. 00:04:26.390 --> 00:04:30.260 align:middle line:84% I'd walk back to Paolo's house, sleep an hour, then wake up 00:04:30.260 --> 00:04:34.040 align:middle line:84% and walk to my elementary Italian class. 00:04:34.040 --> 00:04:36.020 align:middle line:84% In short, I had very little mooring me 00:04:36.020 --> 00:04:38.450 align:middle line:90% to real life except for my host. 00:04:38.450 --> 00:04:40.490 align:middle line:90% He asked how I was doing. 00:04:40.490 --> 00:04:42.290 align:middle line:90% He'd make me speak in Italian. 00:04:42.290 --> 00:04:45.560 align:middle line:84% And then he let me switch back to English when I got tired. 00:04:45.560 --> 00:04:48.920 align:middle line:84% He'd moon his eyes out to let me know he understood 00:04:48.920 --> 00:04:50.990 align:middle line:90% what I was trying to say. 00:04:50.990 --> 00:04:53.180 align:middle line:90% When I did the same, he laughed. 00:04:53.180 --> 00:04:56.360 align:middle line:84% And he called me Mr. Bean, the Rowan Atkinson character 00:04:56.360 --> 00:04:59.420 align:middle line:84% from another stupid show we both had watched. 00:04:59.420 --> 00:05:02.090 align:middle line:84% He'd share his little can of Coke with me. 00:05:02.090 --> 00:05:05.850 align:middle line:84% Afterwards, when I fell asleep at 9:00 PM, he'd wake me up, 00:05:05.850 --> 00:05:07.670 align:middle line:90% so we could get gelato. 00:05:07.670 --> 00:05:09.710 align:middle line:84% Somehow, we understood each other, 00:05:09.710 --> 00:05:12.800 align:middle line:84% as if language were only a river whose rocks and mud 00:05:12.800 --> 00:05:16.440 align:middle line:90% we had to wade our way through. 00:05:16.440 --> 00:05:18.330 align:middle line:84% Paolo's house stood a 15-minute walk 00:05:18.330 --> 00:05:20.610 align:middle line:90% from the catacombs of Priscilla. 00:05:20.610 --> 00:05:23.340 align:middle line:84% Wealthy patrons in ancient Rome built these catacombs 00:05:23.340 --> 00:05:26.370 align:middle line:84% beneath their property in exchange for sainthood. 00:05:26.370 --> 00:05:28.650 align:middle line:84% Priscilla, my neighborhood benefactress 00:05:28.650 --> 00:05:30.600 align:middle line:84% and the wife of a Roman politician, 00:05:30.600 --> 00:05:35.490 align:middle line:84% donated her land in the late second century CE. 00:05:35.490 --> 00:05:37.620 align:middle line:84% Roman catacombs were originally designed 00:05:37.620 --> 00:05:41.250 align:middle line:84% like a fishbone, a central spine with galleries jackknifing off 00:05:41.250 --> 00:05:43.560 align:middle line:90% on either side like ribs. 00:05:43.560 --> 00:05:45.690 align:middle line:84% As burials increased, their structures 00:05:45.690 --> 00:05:48.960 align:middle line:84% grew more complicated until, by the fifth century, 00:05:48.960 --> 00:05:50.460 align:middle line:84% a map of the catacombs would have 00:05:50.460 --> 00:05:52.650 align:middle line:84% looked like the molecule you memorize 00:05:52.650 --> 00:05:55.410 align:middle line:90% for an organic chemistry test. 00:05:55.410 --> 00:05:59.340 align:middle line:84% As the catacombs grew, it became more difficult to determine 00:05:59.340 --> 00:06:01.620 align:middle line:90% who was buried where. 00:06:01.620 --> 00:06:03.900 align:middle line:84% To ease navigation, the catacomb diggers 00:06:03.900 --> 00:06:06.030 align:middle line:90% left itinera ad sanctos-- 00:06:06.030 --> 00:06:09.810 align:middle line:84% paths to the saints, skylights that guided visitors down 00:06:09.810 --> 00:06:12.990 align:middle line:84% corridors until they reached a martyr's tomb. 00:06:12.990 --> 00:06:16.440 align:middle line:84% Families left small markers by graves, statues or trinkets 00:06:16.440 --> 00:06:17.670 align:middle line:90% of little value. 00:06:17.670 --> 00:06:20.670 align:middle line:84% They carved epitaphs as well, brief messages 00:06:20.670 --> 00:06:23.190 align:middle line:84% imploring visitors not to disturb the body, 00:06:23.190 --> 00:06:27.040 align:middle line:84% like the no radio sign taped to a parked car. 00:06:27.040 --> 00:06:32.220 align:middle line:84% "He lived 30 years" or "in peace" or "not a seventh part 00:06:32.220 --> 00:06:35.280 align:middle line:90% of what once existed." 00:06:35.280 --> 00:06:38.340 align:middle line:84% I spoke to my father twice while I was in Rome. 00:06:38.340 --> 00:06:39.810 align:middle line:84% He was paralyzed on his right side, 00:06:39.810 --> 00:06:43.050 align:middle line:84% so he was no longer capable of forming real speech-- 00:06:43.050 --> 00:06:45.120 align:middle line:84% only a breath and then a syllable, 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:49.350 align:middle line:90% a Tuh that could not become Tom. 00:06:49.350 --> 00:06:52.380 align:middle line:84% On the other end when I spoke, I wanted to shout out loud, 00:06:52.380 --> 00:06:55.740 align:middle line:84% like the game show host Paolo and I watched every night, 00:06:55.740 --> 00:06:58.980 align:middle line:84% eager to window dress the Italian I was learning. 00:06:58.980 --> 00:07:02.040 align:middle line:84% I wanted to parade the words, the short, staccato twin 00:07:02.040 --> 00:07:03.420 align:middle line:90% syllables. 00:07:03.420 --> 00:07:05.910 align:middle line:84% Ho dimenticato tutto mi Italiano. 00:07:05.910 --> 00:07:07.980 align:middle line:90% I've forgotten all my Italian. 00:07:07.980 --> 00:07:09.060 align:middle line:90% Sono stanco. 00:07:09.060 --> 00:07:10.620 align:middle line:90% I'm tired. 00:07:10.620 --> 00:07:13.610 align:middle line:84% Or the words when wanting to leave a crowded bus, Scuzi, 00:07:13.610 --> 00:07:15.480 align:middle line:90% scuzi, permesso! 00:07:15.480 --> 00:07:19.710 align:middle line:84% Excuse me, excuse me, I have to get out of here. 00:07:19.710 --> 00:07:23.430 align:middle line:84% We visited the catacombs of Priscilla on class trips. 00:07:23.430 --> 00:07:25.410 align:middle line:84% The tour guides showed us the mosaic 00:07:25.410 --> 00:07:29.130 align:middle line:84% on the ceilings of women leading the Eucharist, smudged over so 00:07:29.130 --> 00:07:31.680 align:middle line:90% that the women appeared as men. 00:07:31.680 --> 00:07:36.150 align:middle line:84% God forbid the historical record reveal female priests. 00:07:36.150 --> 00:07:38.670 align:middle line:84% On the walls, there is a censored Medusa's head, 00:07:38.670 --> 00:07:41.250 align:middle line:84% her Gorgon curls whited out, the snaky 00:07:41.250 --> 00:07:44.520 align:middle line:84% ends now a mess of ringletted hair. 00:07:44.520 --> 00:07:46.710 align:middle line:84% All over the catacombs lay the evidence 00:07:46.710 --> 00:07:51.810 align:middle line:84% that people reconstituted bodies to better suit a message. 00:07:51.810 --> 00:07:53.610 align:middle line:84% I stood at the back on these trips, 00:07:53.610 --> 00:07:56.310 align:middle line:84% bored, and waiting for the tour to be over. 00:07:56.310 --> 00:07:58.620 align:middle line:84% I traced the electric cabling that ran along 00:07:58.620 --> 00:08:00.210 align:middle line:90% the tops of the tunnels. 00:08:00.210 --> 00:08:03.150 align:middle line:84% I thought how I should probably leave Rome and move 00:08:03.150 --> 00:08:05.070 align:middle line:90% back home with my father. 00:08:05.070 --> 00:08:08.090 align:middle line:90% I wondered why I didn't. 00:08:08.090 --> 00:08:10.100 align:middle line:84% The tour guides told us about the walls, 00:08:10.100 --> 00:08:12.830 align:middle line:84% the soft volcanic tufa the Romans initially 00:08:12.830 --> 00:08:15.350 align:middle line:84% believed bees nested within, walls 00:08:15.350 --> 00:08:19.580 align:middle line:84% that now were filled with tombs, stacked three or four high, 00:08:19.580 --> 00:08:21.200 align:middle line:90% like bunk beds. 00:08:21.200 --> 00:08:25.040 align:middle line:84% I thought of the rehab ahead, how my father's body and mind 00:08:25.040 --> 00:08:27.410 align:middle line:90% would be permanently changed. 00:08:27.410 --> 00:08:29.520 align:middle line:90% I thought of all he'd lose. 00:08:29.520 --> 00:08:33.270 align:middle line:84% I realized I did not want to go back because my father would 00:08:33.270 --> 00:08:35.169 align:middle line:90% not be my father anymore. 00:08:35.169 --> 00:08:37.350 align:middle line:84% And when I knew this, I told myself, 00:08:37.350 --> 00:08:40.330 align:middle line:90% he'd be better off dead. 00:08:40.330 --> 00:08:43.150 align:middle line:84% I was tired, I said, and so is he. 00:08:43.150 --> 00:08:46.190 align:middle line:84% And sometimes, it's OK to give up. 00:08:46.190 --> 00:08:47.690 align:middle line:84% The tour guides told us that when 00:08:47.690 --> 00:08:49.910 align:middle line:84% it grew too hot in the summer, Priscilla 00:08:49.910 --> 00:08:52.280 align:middle line:84% would bring her family down into the catacombs 00:08:52.280 --> 00:08:53.960 align:middle line:90% to eat their meals. 00:08:53.960 --> 00:08:57.050 align:middle line:84% I thought how, if you thinned out Paolo's face, 00:08:57.050 --> 00:08:58.940 align:middle line:84% and you gave him a darker head of hair, 00:08:58.940 --> 00:09:02.480 align:middle line:84% and you cast him in dim enough light, you could say, 00:09:02.480 --> 00:09:03.950 align:middle line:90% there goes my father." 00:09:03.950 --> 00:09:06.272 align:middle line:90% 00:09:06.272 --> 00:09:07.480 align:middle line:90% That's all I'll read of that. 00:09:07.480 --> 00:09:10.590 align:middle line:84% That's transformation number one.