WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.300 align:middle line:90% 00:00:03.300 --> 00:00:05.010 align:middle line:90% Oops. 00:00:05.010 --> 00:00:07.920 align:middle line:90% I did it again. 00:00:07.920 --> 00:00:10.740 align:middle line:84% This is one of the subjects of poetry, 00:00:10.740 --> 00:00:16.470 align:middle line:84% an important subject to the poem-- of poetry 00:00:16.470 --> 00:00:21.150 align:middle line:84% is misrepresentation and how language is inaccurate, 00:00:21.150 --> 00:00:22.510 align:middle line:90% as well as accurate. 00:00:22.510 --> 00:00:28.290 align:middle line:84% And this is a poem that I'm sure a couple of years 00:00:28.290 --> 00:00:30.500 align:middle line:84% ago was being written all over the country. 00:00:30.500 --> 00:00:33.340 align:middle line:84% This is just sort of my version of it, 00:00:33.340 --> 00:00:35.700 align:middle line:84% and it's sort of about the misrepresentations 00:00:35.700 --> 00:00:37.500 align:middle line:90% of bureaucratic language. 00:00:37.500 --> 00:00:38.880 align:middle line:90% It's called "Operations." 00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:41.670 align:middle line:90% 00:00:41.670 --> 00:00:45.960 align:middle line:84% "In autumn, Operation Enduring Freedom 00:00:45.960 --> 00:00:49.530 align:middle line:84% commenced, which some people wanted 00:00:49.530 --> 00:00:55.260 align:middle line:84% to call Operation Infinite Self-Indulgence. 00:00:55.260 --> 00:00:59.250 align:middle line:84% We tied flags to the antenna of our cars 00:00:59.250 --> 00:01:03.270 align:middle line:84% that snapped like fire when we drove. 00:01:03.270 --> 00:01:09.660 align:middle line:84% In winter, there was Operation Gentle Sledgehammer, 00:01:09.660 --> 00:01:14.730 align:middle line:84% which seemed linguistically a little underdigested. 00:01:14.730 --> 00:01:17.250 align:middle line:84% But we lined up squads of second graders 00:01:17.250 --> 00:01:21.510 align:middle line:84% to stand at attention while we beat a drum. 00:01:21.510 --> 00:01:25.440 align:middle line:84% Let me make it clear that I was as doubtful as anyone 00:01:25.440 --> 00:01:27.690 align:middle line:84% about Operation Racial Provocation. 00:01:27.690 --> 00:01:30.630 align:middle line:90% 00:01:30.630 --> 00:01:35.440 align:middle line:84% But I loved Operation Religious Suspicion, 00:01:35.440 --> 00:01:39.390 align:middle line:84% which led to Operation Eye For An Eye, 00:01:39.390 --> 00:01:43.500 align:middle line:84% which was succeeded by Operation Helping Hand. 00:01:43.500 --> 00:01:45.780 align:middle line:84% Let me tell you, that was a scary looking hand. 00:01:45.780 --> 00:01:48.840 align:middle line:90% 00:01:48.840 --> 00:01:53.550 align:middle line:84% But it was also a very successful operation. 00:01:53.550 --> 00:01:58.410 align:middle line:84% Someday, you will be required to perform a terrible deed 00:01:58.410 --> 00:02:01.200 align:middle line:90% in order to save yourself-- 00:02:01.200 --> 00:02:03.900 align:middle line:90% to save yourself for what? 00:02:03.900 --> 00:02:07.290 align:middle line:84% That would be a question for Operation Self-Examination 00:02:07.290 --> 00:02:12.810 align:middle line:84% to answer, which is a very painful operation, performed 00:02:12.810 --> 00:02:19.440 align:middle line:84% without anesthesia in a naked room full of shadows and light. 00:02:19.440 --> 00:02:28.760 align:middle line:84% Might I perhaps suggest instead Operation Self-Medication, 00:02:28.760 --> 00:02:34.160 align:middle line:84% or Operation Endless Mindless Distraction? 00:02:34.160 --> 00:02:38.090 align:middle line:84% In the meantime, Operation Collateral Amnesia 00:02:38.090 --> 00:02:41.630 align:middle line:90% is proceeding very smoothly. 00:02:41.630 --> 00:02:44.960 align:middle line:84% When it is over, we want to call it Operation One Big Happy 00:02:44.960 --> 00:02:46.920 align:middle line:90% Family. 00:02:46.920 --> 00:02:49.190 align:middle line:90% Is that OK with you?" 00:02:49.190 --> 00:02:50.000 align:middle line:90%