WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.080 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.080 --> 00:00:01.580 align:middle line:90% No. 00:00:01.580 --> 00:00:03.360 align:middle line:90% Now I'm so verklempt. 00:00:03.360 --> 00:00:05.790 align:middle line:84% I can't actually-- I can't actually begin 00:00:05.790 --> 00:00:08.733 align:middle line:90% to read this harrowing story. 00:00:08.733 --> 00:00:10.650 align:middle line:84% But it was actually perfect, because the thing 00:00:10.650 --> 00:00:13.560 align:middle line:84% that I was planning to do since I'm apparently-- oh, wait, 00:00:13.560 --> 00:00:14.490 align:middle line:90% is this real water? 00:00:14.490 --> 00:00:15.000 align:middle line:90% Yes. 00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:15.510 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:15.510 --> 00:00:18.630 align:middle line:90% It's not sodium-laced. 00:00:18.630 --> 00:00:21.090 align:middle line:90% I have a big thing about Dasani. 00:00:21.090 --> 00:00:23.010 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:23.010 --> 00:00:27.017 align:middle line:90% 00:00:27.017 --> 00:00:29.100 align:middle line:84% But what the plan-- the thing I was planning to do 00:00:29.100 --> 00:00:32.850 align:middle line:84% was, since I'm going to read for about 40 minutes, what 00:00:32.850 --> 00:00:37.410 align:middle line:84% I thought I would do is just read the first two chapters 00:00:37.410 --> 00:00:41.100 align:middle line:84% without any introduction to it at all, 00:00:41.100 --> 00:00:44.410 align:middle line:90% just to see what happens. 00:00:44.410 --> 00:00:47.460 align:middle line:84% We'll see if I can actually do that. 00:00:47.460 --> 00:00:50.860 align:middle line:84% But it's such a great pleasure to be here. 00:00:50.860 --> 00:00:53.550 align:middle line:84% And I'd like to thank everybody who introduced me 00:00:53.550 --> 00:00:56.940 align:middle line:84% and everybody who did not introduce me, 00:00:56.940 --> 00:00:59.760 align:middle line:84% but is still helping to have brought me here. 00:00:59.760 --> 00:01:02.640 align:middle line:90% 00:01:02.640 --> 00:01:06.520 align:middle line:84% And now, I'd like to introduce-- no, no, I'm sorry. 00:01:06.520 --> 00:01:07.650 align:middle line:90% You are just stuck with me. 00:01:07.650 --> 00:01:11.270 align:middle line:90% 00:01:11.270 --> 00:01:11.770 align:middle line:90% All right. 00:01:11.770 --> 00:01:13.315 align:middle line:90% So let's just do this. 00:01:13.315 --> 00:01:16.400 align:middle line:90% 00:01:16.400 --> 00:01:18.460 align:middle line:90% "Little Muddy." 00:01:18.460 --> 00:01:21.580 align:middle line:84% After escaping from the farm, Eddie drove through the night. 00:01:21.580 --> 00:01:24.190 align:middle line:84% Sometimes, he thought he could feel his phantom fingers 00:01:24.190 --> 00:01:25.630 align:middle line:90% brushing against his thighs. 00:01:25.630 --> 00:01:28.810 align:middle line:84% But above the wrists, he now had nothing. 00:01:28.810 --> 00:01:31.000 align:middle line:84% Dark stains covered the terry cloth wrapped 00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:33.820 align:middle line:90% around the ends of his wrists. 00:01:33.820 --> 00:01:37.030 align:middle line:84% His mother had stanched the bleeding with rubber cables. 00:01:37.030 --> 00:01:40.030 align:middle line:84% For the first hour or so, the divot-riddled road 00:01:40.030 --> 00:01:42.700 align:middle line:84% jostled the car, increasing the young man's agony. 00:01:42.700 --> 00:01:46.420 align:middle line:84% And he clenched his teeth through the sickening pain. 00:01:46.420 --> 00:01:48.520 align:middle line:84% Steering the vehicle with his forearms stuck 00:01:48.520 --> 00:01:51.820 align:middle line:84% in two of the wheel's holes, Eddie couldn't keep the Subaru 00:01:51.820 --> 00:01:53.440 align:middle line:90% from wobbling and swerving. 00:01:53.440 --> 00:01:56.050 align:middle line:84% And he feared the police would notice, pull him over 00:01:56.050 --> 00:01:58.960 align:middle line:84% to find that he had no license, and arrest him 00:01:58.960 --> 00:02:01.100 align:middle line:90% for stealing the car. 00:02:01.100 --> 00:02:03.500 align:middle line:84% When he came to smooth asphalt, he turned right 00:02:03.500 --> 00:02:04.730 align:middle line:90% for no good reason. 00:02:04.730 --> 00:02:06.650 align:middle line:84% And after a few miles, he saw a sign 00:02:06.650 --> 00:02:10.070 align:middle line:84% that proved what he and his mother had believed all along. 00:02:10.070 --> 00:02:13.160 align:middle line:84% "Louisiana," he breathed, "almost six years in that 00:02:13.160 --> 00:02:14.270 align:middle line:90% place." 00:02:14.270 --> 00:02:16.370 align:middle line:84% To finally see evidence of his whereabouts 00:02:16.370 --> 00:02:18.170 align:middle line:90% momentarily eased his mind. 00:02:18.170 --> 00:02:19.880 align:middle line:90% But he had to keep going. 00:02:19.880 --> 00:02:23.120 align:middle line:84% He had only a faint memory of where the farm ended. 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:25.310 align:middle line:84% And he couldn't tell if he'd driven himself closer 00:02:25.310 --> 00:02:29.270 align:middle line:84% to the center, where someone might capture or kill him, 00:02:29.270 --> 00:02:32.080 align:middle line:90% or a way toward freedom. 00:02:32.080 --> 00:02:35.380 align:middle line:84% The gas-pump symbol on the dash turned red around the time 00:02:35.380 --> 00:02:37.480 align:middle line:90% he saw signs for Ruston. 00:02:37.480 --> 00:02:40.840 align:middle line:84% The owner of the Subaru had left his wallet by the gearshift. 00:02:40.840 --> 00:02:47.290 align:middle line:84% And Eddie found $184 in it, which, to his 17-year-old mind, 00:02:47.290 --> 00:02:50.820 align:middle line:84% meant he could pay for gas to almost anywhere. 00:02:50.820 --> 00:02:53.220 align:middle line:84% First, he went to Houston to look for Mrs. Vernon. 00:02:53.220 --> 00:02:56.430 align:middle line:84% But to his surprise, the windows and doors of her bakery 00:02:56.430 --> 00:02:59.230 align:middle line:84% had wooden boards nailed over them. 00:02:59.230 --> 00:03:02.700 align:middle line:84% That such a responsible woman had either failed or fled 00:03:02.700 --> 00:03:05.340 align:middle line:84% implied nothing good about the fate of the neighborhood 00:03:05.340 --> 00:03:07.620 align:middle line:90% these past six years. 00:03:07.620 --> 00:03:09.810 align:middle line:84% The only other safe place he could think to go 00:03:09.810 --> 00:03:12.090 align:middle line:90% was his Aunt Bethella's house. 00:03:12.090 --> 00:03:14.460 align:middle line:84% He slithered into an oversize sweatshirt 00:03:14.460 --> 00:03:16.420 align:middle line:90% to hide his injuries from her. 00:03:16.420 --> 00:03:18.240 align:middle line:84% But when he got to the door, he could 00:03:18.240 --> 00:03:20.940 align:middle line:84% tell that someone else lived at her address-- 00:03:20.940 --> 00:03:23.220 align:middle line:84% all the patio furniture had changed, 00:03:23.220 --> 00:03:25.920 align:middle line:84% toys lay jumbled on the cushions, 00:03:25.920 --> 00:03:30.670 align:middle line:84% and a wooden sign next to the mailbox said "The MacKenzies." 00:03:30.670 --> 00:03:32.950 align:middle line:84% Since it was too early to knock, he left. 00:03:32.950 --> 00:03:36.370 align:middle line:84% But at the curb, he spoke with a neighbor who remembered her. 00:03:36.370 --> 00:03:40.300 align:middle line:84% She told him Bethella lived in St. Cloud, Minnesota. 00:03:40.300 --> 00:03:42.550 align:middle line:84% His aunt had told him that she might move, 00:03:42.550 --> 00:03:45.430 align:middle line:84% but not that she had gone so far. 00:03:45.430 --> 00:03:48.220 align:middle line:84% Hadn't she said she would call with the address? 00:03:48.220 --> 00:03:51.340 align:middle line:84% Was that before the phone got cut off? 00:03:51.340 --> 00:03:55.000 align:middle line:84% In the abstract, Eddie knew that Minnesota was far away. 00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:57.280 align:middle line:84% But he couldn't fathom the distance. 00:03:57.280 --> 00:04:00.820 align:middle line:84% The name St. Cloud sounded to him like heaven. 00:04:00.820 --> 00:04:03.970 align:middle line:84% His confusion only rose when a sleepy Texan trucker 00:04:03.970 --> 00:04:07.480 align:middle line:84% in a Stetson made getting there sound easy. 00:04:07.480 --> 00:04:13.090 align:middle line:84% "You take 45 North until you hit 35," the dude said. 00:04:13.090 --> 00:04:15.840 align:middle line:90% "Then just keep on 35. 00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:19.470 align:middle line:84% That there's the ramp to 45 just yonder." 00:04:19.470 --> 00:04:22.770 align:middle line:84% To save money, Eddie stopped only at Tiger Marts 00:04:22.770 --> 00:04:26.490 align:middle line:84% or On the Gos to get gas, and snacks, and use the john. 00:04:26.490 --> 00:04:30.480 align:middle line:84% If he saw a police car in the lot, he kept going. 00:04:30.480 --> 00:04:34.200 align:middle line:84% If a truck-stop bathroom needed a key, he'd go someplace else. 00:04:34.200 --> 00:04:36.330 align:middle line:84% After he got his zipper down the first time, 00:04:36.330 --> 00:04:37.800 align:middle line:90% he couldn't pull it up. 00:04:37.800 --> 00:04:39.600 align:middle line:84% He thought of sleeping, but whenever 00:04:39.600 --> 00:04:41.370 align:middle line:84% he pulled into the corner of a parking lot 00:04:41.370 --> 00:04:44.460 align:middle line:84% and lay down in the back seat, fiery twinges of pain 00:04:44.460 --> 00:04:47.310 align:middle line:84% snaked up his arms into his neck. 00:04:47.310 --> 00:04:49.650 align:middle line:84% When he asked for help squeezing the gas pump, 00:04:49.650 --> 00:04:51.930 align:middle line:84% strangers would knit their eyebrows together, 00:04:51.930 --> 00:04:57.000 align:middle line:84% shocked eyes asking, "This kid can drive without hands?" 00:04:57.000 --> 00:05:03.330 align:middle line:84% He'd say nothing but bristle and think, "I got here, didn't I?" 00:05:03.330 --> 00:05:05.550 align:middle line:84% On the third morning, feeling safer 00:05:05.550 --> 00:05:09.360 align:middle line:84% after reaching Minnesota, the pain now a dull throb, 00:05:09.360 --> 00:05:14.280 align:middle line:84% he sat nursing a Coke in a diner off I-94, the Hungry Haven, 00:05:14.280 --> 00:05:16.530 align:middle line:84% a cozy place decorated in beauty board, 00:05:16.530 --> 00:05:19.860 align:middle line:84% with citrus remnants cooked onto the silverware. 00:05:19.860 --> 00:05:23.100 align:middle line:84% In the smoking section, a lone waitress sat facing away from 00:05:23.100 --> 00:05:26.730 align:middle line:84% the counter, her body slack as any customer's. 00:05:26.730 --> 00:05:29.520 align:middle line:84% An urgent story resounded on the TV behind her. 00:05:29.520 --> 00:05:33.390 align:middle line:84% Some rock star in Seattle had shot himself dead. 00:05:33.390 --> 00:05:36.270 align:middle line:84% She stared at the highway as if it were God. 00:05:36.270 --> 00:05:38.620 align:middle line:84% It took Eddie a while to get her attention. 00:05:38.620 --> 00:05:40.740 align:middle line:84% But once he did, she snapped to and hopped 00:05:40.740 --> 00:05:44.520 align:middle line:84% over, spine straight, pen behind her ear. 00:05:44.520 --> 00:05:46.170 align:middle line:90% "Do you mind, miss? 00:05:46.170 --> 00:05:49.200 align:middle line:84% Can't light it myself," he said, his request 00:05:49.200 --> 00:05:51.690 align:middle line:84% muffled by the cigarette he'd wrangled from its box 00:05:51.690 --> 00:05:53.610 align:middle line:90% and picked up with his mouth. 00:05:53.610 --> 00:05:55.680 align:middle line:84% He grinned and raised his elbows, 00:05:55.680 --> 00:05:58.530 align:middle line:84% meeting the woman's eyes with his own. 00:05:58.530 --> 00:06:02.190 align:middle line:84% "Oh, of course, right," she said, her eyes 00:06:02.190 --> 00:06:04.000 align:middle line:90% failing to mask her surprise. 00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:06.360 align:middle line:84% She struck a match, and he inhaled the fire 00:06:06.360 --> 00:06:09.020 align:middle line:90% through the cigarette. 00:06:09.020 --> 00:06:11.240 align:middle line:84% "Going to be a nice day," she announced, 00:06:11.240 --> 00:06:13.040 align:middle line:90% like something profound. 00:06:13.040 --> 00:06:15.990 align:middle line:84% "Let me know if you need anything else." 00:06:15.990 --> 00:06:18.020 align:middle line:84% Her name tag said "Sandy," pinned 00:06:18.020 --> 00:06:22.130 align:middle line:84% onto a dingy pink dress with a gray apron wrapped around it. 00:06:22.130 --> 00:06:24.950 align:middle line:84% Under her nasal tone, something cared so strongly 00:06:24.950 --> 00:06:27.380 align:middle line:84% that Eddie moved sideways down the bench a little, 00:06:27.380 --> 00:06:30.170 align:middle line:84% crablike, to avoid the power of her interest, 00:06:30.170 --> 00:06:33.260 align:middle line:84% fearing that she might get to know him against his will. 00:06:33.260 --> 00:06:36.220 align:middle line:90% Sandy turned away. 00:06:36.220 --> 00:06:38.860 align:middle line:84% "Actually, I'm looking for work," 00:06:38.860 --> 00:06:41.210 align:middle line:90% Eddie blurted out to her back. 00:06:41.210 --> 00:06:43.040 align:middle line:90% He wasn't looking yet, really. 00:06:43.040 --> 00:06:46.400 align:middle line:84% But suddenly, he needed her kindness, superficial or not, 00:06:46.400 --> 00:06:49.880 align:middle line:84% craved it beyond his ability to stay distant. 00:06:49.880 --> 00:06:51.560 align:middle line:90% "Near here," he went on. 00:06:51.560 --> 00:06:54.320 align:middle line:84% He didn't think Bethella would let him sponge for long, 00:06:54.320 --> 00:06:55.760 align:middle line:90% if at all. 00:06:55.760 --> 00:06:58.310 align:middle line:84% She might not even care that he'd lost his hands. 00:06:58.310 --> 00:07:00.890 align:middle line:90% She'd probably blame his mother. 00:07:00.890 --> 00:07:03.140 align:middle line:84% Sandy turned and the glow left her face. 00:07:03.140 --> 00:07:06.050 align:middle line:90% "Mm," she said, "What kind?" 00:07:06.050 --> 00:07:07.850 align:middle line:90% "Of work can I do? 00:07:07.850 --> 00:07:09.140 align:middle line:90% You'd be surprised. 00:07:09.140 --> 00:07:13.280 align:middle line:84% Fixing stuff, computers, I also do carpentry, wiring, 00:07:13.280 --> 00:07:14.750 align:middle line:90% odd jobs." 00:07:14.750 --> 00:07:16.610 align:middle line:90% Doubt spread across her face. 00:07:16.610 --> 00:07:19.520 align:middle line:84% And Eddie thought he could almost read her mind-- 00:07:19.520 --> 00:07:25.130 align:middle line:84% now, how can this boy do all that in his condition? 00:07:25.130 --> 00:07:26.360 align:middle line:90% He sat up. 00:07:26.360 --> 00:07:28.880 align:middle line:84% "I can do just about anything I set my mind to," 00:07:28.880 --> 00:07:32.000 align:middle line:84% he said, pouring brightness over her hesitation. 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:35.580 align:middle line:84% "God makes three requests of His children-- do the best you can, 00:07:35.580 --> 00:07:39.100 align:middle line:84% where you at, with what you got now." 00:07:39.100 --> 00:07:41.080 align:middle line:90% "That's beautiful," Sandy said. 00:07:41.080 --> 00:07:43.323 align:middle line:90% "I bet your mama told you that." 00:07:43.323 --> 00:07:45.490 align:middle line:84% Eddie smiled, because he knew his mother would never 00:07:45.490 --> 00:07:46.960 align:middle line:90% have said such a thing. 00:07:46.960 --> 00:07:49.120 align:middle line:84% He'd picked up the saying from Mrs. Vernon. 00:07:49.120 --> 00:07:50.770 align:middle line:84% But then, it occurred to him that Sandy 00:07:50.770 --> 00:07:54.850 align:middle line:84% would think the smile meant, "Yes, mama sure did." 00:07:54.850 --> 00:07:57.460 align:middle line:84% Confirming that her fantasy of his life was the truth 00:07:57.460 --> 00:07:59.680 align:middle line:84% would make her more likely to help. 00:07:59.680 --> 00:08:02.290 align:middle line:84% After a brief chat, he told her his full name, 00:08:02.290 --> 00:08:04.420 align:middle line:84% and she wrote it down on a wet napkin. 00:08:04.420 --> 00:08:06.685 align:middle line:84% He figured he'd never hear from her again. 00:08:06.685 --> 00:08:10.000 align:middle line:90% 00:08:10.000 --> 00:08:12.760 align:middle line:84% It took Eddie a day and a half to find Bethella. 00:08:12.760 --> 00:08:14.800 align:middle line:84% He asked one of the few Black pedestrians 00:08:14.800 --> 00:08:16.600 align:middle line:84% where he could find a beauty shop, 00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:19.030 align:middle line:84% adding that he meant to find his aunt. 00:08:19.030 --> 00:08:21.040 align:middle line:84% The pedestrian asked his aunt's name, 00:08:21.040 --> 00:08:22.900 align:middle line:84% which she didn't recognize, and then 00:08:22.900 --> 00:08:26.710 align:middle line:84% recommended he try Marquita's Beauty Palace on St. Germain. 00:08:26.710 --> 00:08:30.250 align:middle line:84% To get there, Eddie had to drive across the Mississippi River. 00:08:30.250 --> 00:08:32.650 align:middle line:84% He read the sign aloud as he crossed. 00:08:32.650 --> 00:08:34.210 align:middle line:84% It astounded him to think that this 00:08:34.210 --> 00:08:37.210 align:middle line:84% was the same river as the one near his hometown, Ovis, 00:08:37.210 --> 00:08:40.960 align:middle line:84% Louisiana, and that it flowed as far as he had just driven. 00:08:40.960 --> 00:08:43.539 align:middle line:84% Seeing the same river here helped him adjust. 00:08:43.539 --> 00:08:46.750 align:middle line:84% The Great River wasn't wide or grand in Minnesota. 00:08:46.750 --> 00:08:50.060 align:middle line:84% But it didn't fill him with the same panic as it had back home. 00:08:50.060 --> 00:08:51.535 align:middle line:90% It had less to do with death. 00:08:51.535 --> 00:08:55.600 align:middle line:90% 00:08:55.600 --> 00:08:58.990 align:middle line:84% The past didn't slither through this shallow water. 00:08:58.990 --> 00:09:01.570 align:middle line:84% He didn't imagine any drowned ghosts staring up 00:09:01.570 --> 00:09:04.510 align:middle line:84% from the riverbed or bobbing up out of culverts, 00:09:04.510 --> 00:09:08.470 align:middle line:90% their googly eyes asking, "Why?" 00:09:08.470 --> 00:09:10.540 align:middle line:90% St. Cloud pacified him. 00:09:10.540 --> 00:09:12.910 align:middle line:84% Its evenly spaced suburban homes reminded him 00:09:12.910 --> 00:09:16.380 align:middle line:84% of a balsa wood city he'd seen in a children's book. 00:09:16.380 --> 00:09:18.810 align:middle line:84% Even its housing complexes sat comfortably 00:09:18.810 --> 00:09:22.650 align:middle line:84% behind tall, healthy trees, and sprawling plots of grass. 00:09:22.650 --> 00:09:26.550 align:middle line:84% And though, a 100 Day-Glo toys might 00:09:26.550 --> 00:09:29.760 align:middle line:84% lie upturned on one driveway, the next several lots 00:09:29.760 --> 00:09:32.340 align:middle line:84% would have neatly arranged yards already flashing 00:09:32.340 --> 00:09:35.760 align:middle line:84% a few green shoots, while here and there, a crocus forecast 00:09:35.760 --> 00:09:37.530 align:middle line:90% a pleasant spring. 00:09:37.530 --> 00:09:39.570 align:middle line:84% It felt more like home than Ovis, 00:09:39.570 --> 00:09:43.830 align:middle line:84% a place he hadn't seen in almost a decade. 00:09:43.830 --> 00:09:46.020 align:middle line:84% Eddie circled the area for nearly half an hour 00:09:46.020 --> 00:09:48.210 align:middle line:84% without getting out of the car, suddenly embarrassed 00:09:48.210 --> 00:09:50.430 align:middle line:84% not to have hands after what he took 00:09:50.430 --> 00:09:52.620 align:middle line:90% to be Sandy's condescension. 00:09:52.620 --> 00:09:55.380 align:middle line:84% But eventually, thinking of how his mother needed him back 00:09:55.380 --> 00:09:58.380 align:middle line:84% in Louisiana, he parked at a beauty shop 00:09:58.380 --> 00:10:00.510 align:middle line:84% and nudged the door open with his shoulder, 00:10:00.510 --> 00:10:04.470 align:middle line:84% holding his arms behind his back with calculated ease. 00:10:04.470 --> 00:10:06.540 align:middle line:84% The women at Marquita's did not know Bethella, 00:10:06.540 --> 00:10:09.480 align:middle line:84% but they did know a different beauty shop, the Clip Joint, 00:10:09.480 --> 00:10:11.130 align:middle line:90% on the west side. 00:10:11.130 --> 00:10:14.280 align:middle line:84% That place had closed for the day by the time Eddie arrived. 00:10:14.280 --> 00:10:17.490 align:middle line:84% So, finally exhausted, and no longer in the kind of pain 00:10:17.490 --> 00:10:19.890 align:middle line:84% that prohibits sleep, he moved the car 00:10:19.890 --> 00:10:22.020 align:middle line:84% into the corner of a deserted parking lot, 00:10:22.020 --> 00:10:24.210 align:middle line:84% contorted his body into the hatchback, 00:10:24.210 --> 00:10:27.480 align:middle line:84% and took a long nap until it got too cold to sleep, 00:10:27.480 --> 00:10:29.160 align:middle line:84% and he had to turn the engine on, 00:10:29.160 --> 00:10:33.170 align:middle line:84% twisting the key in the ignition with his teeth. 00:10:33.170 --> 00:10:35.390 align:middle line:84% When he visited the Clip Joint the next morning, 00:10:35.390 --> 00:10:38.520 align:middle line:84% he kept his wrists shoved into his pockets. 00:10:38.520 --> 00:10:41.060 align:middle line:84% It was best to keep them raised, but self-consciousness 00:10:41.060 --> 00:10:42.800 align:middle line:90% had overtaken him. 00:10:42.800 --> 00:10:47.570 align:middle line:84% A beautiful fat woman in a skin tight black-and-leopardy outfit 00:10:47.570 --> 00:10:51.150 align:middle line:84% said she knew his aunt and told him exactly where to find her. 00:10:51.150 --> 00:10:54.350 align:middle line:84% She then began a long one-sided conversation, 00:10:54.350 --> 00:10:57.200 align:middle line:84% first about how much she admired Bethella, 00:10:57.200 --> 00:10:59.420 align:middle line:84% then about the situation in Rwanda, 00:10:59.420 --> 00:11:01.310 align:middle line:90% and several other subjects. 00:11:01.310 --> 00:11:03.050 align:middle line:84% He walked backward out of the shop, 00:11:03.050 --> 00:11:05.690 align:middle line:84% and she continued to talk, turning her attention 00:11:05.690 --> 00:11:08.580 align:middle line:90% toward her coworkers instead. 00:11:08.580 --> 00:11:11.080 align:middle line:84% Still wearing the sweatshirt, now for warmth 00:11:11.080 --> 00:11:13.230 align:middle line:84% as well as subterfuge, he arrived 00:11:13.230 --> 00:11:14.880 align:middle line:84% at the address the woman had given him 00:11:14.880 --> 00:11:16.500 align:middle line:84% and stood on the stoop for a moment, 00:11:16.500 --> 00:11:18.780 align:middle line:84% fearing he had the wrong information, 00:11:18.780 --> 00:11:21.900 align:middle line:84% then ascended the remaining steps and rang the doorbell. 00:11:21.900 --> 00:11:25.350 align:middle line:84% When he swung his forearms, the fabric concealed his wounds 00:11:25.350 --> 00:11:28.020 align:middle line:84% and flopped over his wrists in a congenial way, 00:11:28.020 --> 00:11:31.270 align:middle line:84% almost like the ears of a friendly dog. 00:11:31.270 --> 00:11:33.160 align:middle line:84% He thought that this awkward solution, 00:11:33.160 --> 00:11:35.200 align:middle line:84% along with the baggy pants, might 00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:37.420 align:middle line:84% make him look enough like a normal 17-year-old 00:11:37.420 --> 00:11:39.730 align:middle line:90% to fool his aunt for a while. 00:11:39.730 --> 00:11:42.980 align:middle line:84% He stuck his wrists back into his pockets. 00:11:42.980 --> 00:11:45.290 align:middle line:84% Presently, he heard movement inside the house, 00:11:45.290 --> 00:11:47.210 align:middle line:84% perhaps, someone's feet descending 00:11:47.210 --> 00:11:48.620 align:middle line:90% a carpeted staircase. 00:11:48.620 --> 00:11:51.410 align:middle line:84% Then, he saw a finger move a bunched-up taffeta curtain 00:11:51.410 --> 00:11:53.270 align:middle line:84% at the side of the door, exposing 00:11:53.270 --> 00:11:57.520 align:middle line:84% one of his aunt's eyes, which registered instant shock. 00:11:57.520 --> 00:11:59.540 align:middle line:84% Eddie heard a muffled squeal of delight, 00:11:59.540 --> 00:12:01.160 align:middle line:84% and the air moved as she threw open 00:12:01.160 --> 00:12:02.570 align:middle line:90% the door in one wide swing. 00:12:02.570 --> 00:12:05.240 align:middle line:90% 00:12:05.240 --> 00:12:07.670 align:middle line:84% Bethella was a slight woman with a skeptical eyebrow 00:12:07.670 --> 00:12:09.080 align:middle line:90% and a high forehead. 00:12:09.080 --> 00:12:11.720 align:middle line:84% Grayer now, in chalk-mark streaks, 00:12:11.720 --> 00:12:14.870 align:middle line:84% her thin hair stuck to her skull under a pantyhose cap. 00:12:14.870 --> 00:12:17.690 align:middle line:84% She hadn't yet put on today's wig. 00:12:17.690 --> 00:12:19.850 align:middle line:84% A homemade dress with tiny daisies 00:12:19.850 --> 00:12:22.220 align:middle line:84% hung on her like it would on a wire hanger. 00:12:22.220 --> 00:12:25.070 align:middle line:84% Her collar bones poking up, her angular fingers 00:12:25.070 --> 00:12:28.100 align:middle line:84% tipped with fragmented nail polish. 00:12:28.100 --> 00:12:29.570 align:middle line:84% The second-to-last time he'd seen 00:12:29.570 --> 00:12:31.880 align:middle line:84% her, the Thanksgiving of his 10th year, 00:12:31.880 --> 00:12:34.250 align:middle line:84% Bethella had shown up at the Houston apartment 00:12:34.250 --> 00:12:36.830 align:middle line:84% he shared with his mother, carrying a sweet potato 00:12:36.830 --> 00:12:39.140 align:middle line:90% pie encased in tinfoil. 00:12:39.140 --> 00:12:42.080 align:middle line:84% Before crossing the threshold, Bethella had told his mother, 00:12:42.080 --> 00:12:45.230 align:middle line:84% "You've got one last chance to be honest with me, Darlene. 00:12:45.230 --> 00:12:47.240 align:middle line:90% Have you been using?" 00:12:47.240 --> 00:12:50.000 align:middle line:84% When his mother shouted, "No!", Bethella 00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:52.190 align:middle line:84% hurled the pie sideways onto the stoop, 00:12:52.190 --> 00:12:54.320 align:middle line:90% where it broke and stuck. 00:12:54.320 --> 00:12:57.080 align:middle line:84% Then she did an about-face and marched across the pavement 00:12:57.080 --> 00:12:58.970 align:middle line:90% to her car. 00:12:58.970 --> 00:13:01.790 align:middle line:84% In her vestibule, she hugged Eddie. 00:13:01.790 --> 00:13:04.790 align:middle line:84% And he noticed she had on the same light gardenia perfume 00:13:04.790 --> 00:13:06.410 align:middle line:90% she had worn then. 00:13:06.410 --> 00:13:08.990 align:middle line:84% The scent returned Eddie to the time when he was 11 00:13:08.990 --> 00:13:11.690 align:middle line:84% and had briefly stayed with Bethella and her husband, 00:13:11.690 --> 00:13:14.117 align:middle line:90% Fremont Smalls, in Houston. 00:13:14.117 --> 00:13:15.950 align:middle line:84% They had taken him in one night when Darlene 00:13:15.950 --> 00:13:18.080 align:middle line:84% had used heavily and gotten stabbed 00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:19.790 align:middle line:84% by someone the adults kept calling 00:13:19.790 --> 00:13:21.860 align:middle line:90% "a friend" or "her friend." 00:13:21.860 --> 00:13:23.960 align:middle line:84% But even then, he wondered what kind of friend 00:13:23.960 --> 00:13:28.220 align:middle line:84% could stab someone bad enough to require a hospital stay. 00:13:28.220 --> 00:13:29.840 align:middle line:84% Between her reluctance to return him 00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:32.060 align:middle line:84% to Darlene and his mother's unpredictability, 00:13:32.060 --> 00:13:34.700 align:middle line:84% Bethella ended up keeping him for a week. 00:13:34.700 --> 00:13:36.680 align:middle line:84% But she didn't like children much. 00:13:36.680 --> 00:13:38.930 align:middle line:84% And after Eddie accidentally toppled a vase 00:13:38.930 --> 00:13:41.270 align:middle line:84% from Thailand, which hadn't even broken, 00:13:41.270 --> 00:13:44.870 align:middle line:84% she decided, as he figured it, to wait long enough that she 00:13:44.870 --> 00:13:46.880 align:middle line:84% would not have to admit any causality, 00:13:46.880 --> 00:13:48.530 align:middle line:84% and then deliver him back to his mother 00:13:48.530 --> 00:13:50.990 align:middle line:84% once she got home from the hospital. 00:13:50.990 --> 00:13:55.030 align:middle line:84% Or as Bethella put it, "She needs you." 00:13:55.030 --> 00:13:56.440 align:middle line:90% Fremont worked long hours. 00:13:56.440 --> 00:13:59.200 align:middle line:84% He wasn't home often enough to weigh in on the matter. 00:13:59.200 --> 00:14:01.990 align:middle line:84% Two days later, Bethella returned Eddie to his apartment 00:14:01.990 --> 00:14:04.060 align:middle line:84% at dusk and locked him in hastily, not wanting 00:14:04.060 --> 00:14:05.350 align:middle line:90% to interact with his mother. 00:14:05.350 --> 00:14:08.050 align:middle line:84% But as soon as Eddie entered, he realized that Darlene 00:14:08.050 --> 00:14:09.970 align:middle line:90% had gone again already. 00:14:09.970 --> 00:14:12.430 align:middle line:84% He knelt on the couch, pulled the blinds apart, 00:14:12.430 --> 00:14:15.370 align:middle line:90% and watched Bethella drive away. 00:14:15.370 --> 00:14:17.440 align:middle line:84% Bethella now taught social studies and French 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:19.930 align:middle line:84% in the St. Cloud school system, she told him. 00:14:19.930 --> 00:14:22.030 align:middle line:84% She and Fremont had moved north from Houston 00:14:22.030 --> 00:14:24.890 align:middle line:90% to be closer to his family. 00:14:24.890 --> 00:14:29.030 align:middle line:84% And he had worked at Melrose Quarry for almost five years. 00:14:29.030 --> 00:14:31.250 align:middle line:84% From what his mother often said about Bethella, 00:14:31.250 --> 00:14:33.260 align:middle line:84% he expected to find empties piled 00:14:33.260 --> 00:14:35.060 align:middle line:84% in the closets and the backs of cabinets. 00:14:35.060 --> 00:14:37.500 align:middle line:90% But he saw none. 00:14:37.500 --> 00:14:39.420 align:middle line:84% Darlene felt that Bethella had her nerve 00:14:39.420 --> 00:14:41.910 align:middle line:84% judging Darlene when she had her own habits. 00:14:41.910 --> 00:14:44.460 align:middle line:84% But like many families, everyone wandered around 00:14:44.460 --> 00:14:46.230 align:middle line:90% like children in a funhouse. 00:14:46.230 --> 00:14:48.720 align:middle line:84% They could hardly see one another around the corners, 00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:52.090 align:middle line:84% and what they could see was completely distorted. 00:14:52.090 --> 00:14:55.090 align:middle line:84% The sweatshirt trick did not fool Bethella. 00:14:55.090 --> 00:14:56.860 align:middle line:84% Almost immediately after standing back 00:14:56.860 --> 00:14:59.530 align:middle line:84% from his stiff hug, she stared at his right sleeve, 00:14:59.530 --> 00:15:02.260 align:middle line:84% lunged forward like someone trying to catch a falling 00:15:02.260 --> 00:15:05.350 align:middle line:90% plate, and seized his forearm. 00:15:05.350 --> 00:15:09.490 align:middle line:84% As she unsheathed his arm, her face took on an expression 00:15:09.490 --> 00:15:12.580 align:middle line:90% mixing compassion with horror. 00:15:12.580 --> 00:15:14.230 align:middle line:90% "Good God Almighty, Edward. 00:15:14.230 --> 00:15:15.370 align:middle line:90% What on Earth? 00:15:15.370 --> 00:15:17.210 align:middle line:90% When did this happen?" 00:15:17.210 --> 00:15:19.240 align:middle line:84% And he supposed that she'd asked "When?" 00:15:19.240 --> 00:15:23.120 align:middle line:84% because it was easier to answer than "How?" 00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:25.760 align:middle line:90% "A few days ago," he said. 00:15:25.760 --> 00:15:28.190 align:middle line:84% Bethella said, "Lord, have mercy," 00:15:28.190 --> 00:15:31.700 align:middle line:84% almost whispering, her lids narrowed, jaw low. 00:15:31.700 --> 00:15:34.250 align:middle line:90% "Lord, have mercy." 00:15:34.250 --> 00:15:37.220 align:middle line:84% Everybody Black knows how to react to a tragedy. 00:15:37.220 --> 00:15:40.730 align:middle line:84% Just bring out a wheelbarrow full of the same old anger, 00:15:40.730 --> 00:15:43.100 align:middle line:84% dump it all over the usual frustration, 00:15:43.100 --> 00:15:45.990 align:middle line:84% and water it with somebody oughtas, all of which 00:15:45.990 --> 00:15:47.690 align:middle line:90% Bethella did. 00:15:47.690 --> 00:15:50.540 align:middle line:84% Then quietly set some globs of genuine awe 00:15:50.540 --> 00:15:52.790 align:middle line:84% in a circle around the mixture, but don't call 00:15:52.790 --> 00:15:54.410 align:middle line:90% too much attention to that. 00:15:54.410 --> 00:15:57.670 align:middle line:84% Mention the Holy Spirit whenever possible. 00:15:57.670 --> 00:15:59.720 align:middle line:84% Bethella shook her head and spoke hazily 00:15:59.720 --> 00:16:02.350 align:middle line:90% of the Lord's Plan. 00:16:02.350 --> 00:16:04.540 align:middle line:84% "We have to get you to a doctor," she said. 00:16:04.540 --> 00:16:05.530 align:middle line:90% "Who did this? 00:16:05.530 --> 00:16:06.220 align:middle line:90% Why? 00:16:06.220 --> 00:16:08.260 align:middle line:90% Where have you been?" 00:16:08.260 --> 00:16:11.500 align:middle line:84% Too many questions to answer at once, Eddie thought. 00:16:11.500 --> 00:16:14.080 align:middle line:84% "It's OK now," he told her, which seemed 00:16:14.080 --> 00:16:15.790 align:middle line:90% to pacify her momentarily. 00:16:15.790 --> 00:16:17.860 align:middle line:84% But it didn't take long for her to peer at him. 00:16:17.860 --> 00:16:20.620 align:middle line:84% Her skeptical eyebrow rising like a drawbridge. 00:16:20.620 --> 00:16:22.780 align:middle line:90% "OK in what sense?" 00:16:22.780 --> 00:16:24.370 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:16:24.370 --> 00:16:27.220 align:middle line:90% "I have to go back for my mom." 00:16:27.220 --> 00:16:30.820 align:middle line:84% Bethella pulled her chin back and shouted, "Oh, Darlene!" 00:16:30.820 --> 00:16:33.160 align:middle line:84% As if his mother was standing there. 00:16:33.160 --> 00:16:36.790 align:middle line:84% "I am guessing this isn't the first time," she said. 00:16:36.790 --> 00:16:39.670 align:middle line:84% "What the Sam Hill has that lady gotten you into now, 00:16:39.670 --> 00:16:41.680 align:middle line:90% that someone did this to you? 00:16:41.680 --> 00:16:44.020 align:middle line:84% Come in already, boy, let me close the door. 00:16:44.020 --> 00:16:46.990 align:middle line:90% Hands, my God!" 00:16:46.990 --> 00:16:49.510 align:middle line:84% Mostly Bethella's house smelled of mold, 00:16:49.510 --> 00:16:52.450 align:middle line:84% with hints of stale candy, mothballs, and something 00:16:52.450 --> 00:16:54.640 align:middle line:84% earthy, maybe manure from the garden 00:16:54.640 --> 00:16:57.310 align:middle line:84% or chitterlings boiled last night. 00:16:57.310 --> 00:16:59.770 align:middle line:84% Dust had settled on the plastic-covered furniture. 00:16:59.770 --> 00:17:02.660 align:middle line:84% Nobody had sat on it in a long time. 00:17:02.660 --> 00:17:04.750 align:middle line:84% Eddie decided not to be the first 00:17:04.750 --> 00:17:06.520 align:middle line:90% and took a seat in the kitchen. 00:17:06.520 --> 00:17:08.770 align:middle line:84% Bethella walked over to the kitchen phone, 00:17:08.770 --> 00:17:10.690 align:middle line:84% announcing that she was calling her doctor. 00:17:10.690 --> 00:17:13.420 align:middle line:84% But Eddie begged her not to, insisting that he did not need 00:17:13.420 --> 00:17:16.869 align:middle line:84% help, that the wounds did not even hurt much anymore. 00:17:16.869 --> 00:17:18.550 align:middle line:84% It took some doing to convince her, 00:17:18.550 --> 00:17:20.770 align:middle line:84% but eventually, she relaxed and offered him 00:17:20.770 --> 00:17:22.240 align:middle line:90% tea in a chipped mug. 00:17:22.240 --> 00:17:24.640 align:middle line:84% And wanting not to placate her more than he wanted 00:17:24.640 --> 00:17:27.130 align:middle line:90% the beverage, he accepted. 00:17:27.130 --> 00:17:29.860 align:middle line:84% "You sip it out of that straw," she said. 00:17:29.860 --> 00:17:31.930 align:middle line:84% The liquid was weird and bitter, something 00:17:31.930 --> 00:17:34.810 align:middle line:84% herbal you couldn't even improve with sugar. 00:17:34.810 --> 00:17:39.280 align:middle line:84% "Mate," she explained, "from South America." 00:17:39.280 --> 00:17:42.190 align:middle line:84% Having summers off allowed Bethella to travel and bring 00:17:42.190 --> 00:17:44.590 align:middle line:90% back bizarre cultural things. 00:17:44.590 --> 00:17:47.980 align:middle line:84% Eddie sipped, asking himself why exotic stuff always 00:17:47.980 --> 00:17:53.070 align:middle line:84% had to be disgusting, bitter vegetables, fish heads. 00:17:53.070 --> 00:17:55.230 align:middle line:84% Trying not to taste, he commented 00:17:55.230 --> 00:17:57.930 align:middle line:84% on the odd flavor of the drink, knowing at once 00:17:57.930 --> 00:18:01.230 align:middle line:84% that this type of discomfort would color his whole visit. 00:18:01.230 --> 00:18:03.480 align:middle line:90% So much for freedom. 00:18:03.480 --> 00:18:05.460 align:middle line:84% Bethella wrinkled her nose and said, 00:18:05.460 --> 00:18:09.050 align:middle line:84% "And you won't be smoking in my house." 00:18:09.050 --> 00:18:11.540 align:middle line:84% They moved into the dining room, and he sat. 00:18:11.540 --> 00:18:13.610 align:middle line:84% "How long you think you'll need to stay?" 00:18:13.610 --> 00:18:14.690 align:middle line:90% Bethella asked. 00:18:14.690 --> 00:18:17.480 align:middle line:84% She probably hadn't meant for it to sound so impatient, 00:18:17.480 --> 00:18:19.610 align:middle line:84% but a consistent quality in her voice 00:18:19.610 --> 00:18:23.000 align:middle line:84% telegraphed impatience no matter her intentions. 00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:27.570 align:middle line:84% A long pause clouded the space between them. 00:18:27.570 --> 00:18:29.790 align:middle line:84% Eddie didn't know how long he would stay, maybe 00:18:29.790 --> 00:18:31.170 align:middle line:84% only until somebody from the farm 00:18:31.170 --> 00:18:33.540 align:middle line:84% discovered where he'd gone, or until he figured out 00:18:33.540 --> 00:18:35.490 align:middle line:90% how to get Darlene back. 00:18:35.490 --> 00:18:37.170 align:middle line:90% But he couldn't face that. 00:18:37.170 --> 00:18:40.200 align:middle line:84% He winced at Bethella's ability to reject. 00:18:40.200 --> 00:18:42.990 align:middle line:84% It was as if she had brought him back to his drug addict mother 00:18:42.990 --> 00:18:43.980 align:middle line:90% again. 00:18:43.980 --> 00:18:46.350 align:middle line:84% The pressure she put on him to explain 00:18:46.350 --> 00:18:48.900 align:middle line:84% and the memory of her previous rejection rising up 00:18:48.900 --> 00:18:51.060 align:middle line:84% a second time made him feel like someone 00:18:51.060 --> 00:18:54.510 align:middle line:84% had taken a hold of his gut and twisted it until it emptied out 00:18:54.510 --> 00:18:55.920 align:middle line:90% at both ends. 00:18:55.920 --> 00:18:57.990 align:middle line:84% He projected his agony through his face 00:18:57.990 --> 00:19:00.660 align:middle line:84% and let out a strange sound, a sigh 00:19:00.660 --> 00:19:04.358 align:middle line:84% blended with a growl, burnished with a whimper. 00:19:04.358 --> 00:19:06.150 align:middle line:84% Then he put his wrists in front of his face 00:19:06.150 --> 00:19:08.820 align:middle line:90% and curled into his own lap. 00:19:08.820 --> 00:19:10.920 align:middle line:84% Bethella pulled her shoulders back slightly 00:19:10.920 --> 00:19:14.040 align:middle line:84% and remained silent for a while in the face of his animal 00:19:14.040 --> 00:19:15.210 align:middle line:90% response. 00:19:15.210 --> 00:19:16.680 align:middle line:90% She swallowed. 00:19:16.680 --> 00:19:19.170 align:middle line:90% "Oh, no, dear," she said. 00:19:19.170 --> 00:19:21.630 align:middle line:84% "I meant how long do you need to stay 00:19:21.630 --> 00:19:23.040 align:middle line:90% before you go get your mother. 00:19:23.040 --> 00:19:24.360 align:middle line:90% I'm sorry." 00:19:24.360 --> 00:19:26.280 align:middle line:84% She patted his shoulder and stroked it. 00:19:26.280 --> 00:19:27.700 align:middle line:90% "It's fine. 00:19:27.700 --> 00:19:29.970 align:middle line:90% Everything's fine," she soothed. 00:19:29.970 --> 00:19:33.060 align:middle line:84% And though it wasn't, and might never be, 00:19:33.060 --> 00:19:35.460 align:middle line:84% the words painted over everything. 00:19:35.460 --> 00:19:39.525 align:middle line:84% "I mean, I hope you're not expecting me to go with you. 00:19:39.525 --> 00:19:41.150 align:middle line:84% I'll help you to the amount that I can, 00:19:41.150 --> 00:19:44.420 align:middle line:84% but it's probably best if you don't bring her up here and--" 00:19:44.420 --> 00:19:47.870 align:middle line:84% Eddie scowled and his aunt closed her mouth. 00:19:47.870 --> 00:19:49.393 align:middle line:84% After a pause, she sighed and turned 00:19:49.393 --> 00:19:51.560 align:middle line:84% on the television, which she kept in the dining room 00:19:51.560 --> 00:19:53.530 align:middle line:90% for some reason. 00:19:53.530 --> 00:19:56.390 align:middle line:90% Afternoon-news trumpets blared. 00:19:56.390 --> 00:19:59.270 align:middle line:84% "Stay a while," she said to the television. 00:19:59.270 --> 00:20:00.560 align:middle line:90% "I understand. 00:20:00.560 --> 00:20:02.300 align:middle line:90% It's OK." 00:20:02.300 --> 00:20:03.590 align:middle line:90% She lied, he figured. 00:20:03.590 --> 00:20:05.480 align:middle line:84% Because the truth was always a tiger, 00:20:05.480 --> 00:20:08.060 align:middle line:84% and the past, with its ugliness and struggle, 00:20:08.060 --> 00:20:11.360 align:middle line:84% was a ditch so deep with bodies it could pass for a starless 00:20:11.360 --> 00:20:13.290 align:middle line:90% night. 00:20:13.290 --> 00:20:15.960 align:middle line:84% After the news, she showed him to what 00:20:15.960 --> 00:20:18.540 align:middle line:84% she called the guestroom, actually the attic, 00:20:18.540 --> 00:20:21.450 align:middle line:84% by pulling down the staircase from the ceiling with a rope 00:20:21.450 --> 00:20:24.820 align:middle line:84% and urging him up without going in herself. 00:20:24.820 --> 00:20:28.300 align:middle line:84% "A former student in need of sanctuary was my last guest," 00:20:28.300 --> 00:20:30.790 align:middle line:90% she told him, "about a year ago. 00:20:30.790 --> 00:20:33.220 align:middle line:84% A few months before Fremont passed." 00:20:33.220 --> 00:20:34.570 align:middle line:90% Eddie flinched. 00:20:34.570 --> 00:20:35.440 align:middle line:90% "Right. 00:20:35.440 --> 00:20:38.800 align:middle line:84% I guess you didn't hear that Fremont passed," she sighed. 00:20:38.800 --> 00:20:42.580 align:middle line:84% "Since your mother dragged you off to God knows where." 00:20:42.580 --> 00:20:45.370 align:middle line:84% Eddie shook his head and stared at her dumbly. 00:20:45.370 --> 00:20:48.360 align:middle line:84% "I reckoned he was working," he said. 00:20:48.360 --> 00:20:50.370 align:middle line:90% "You know he had a bad heart. 00:20:50.370 --> 00:20:51.760 align:middle line:90% I mean, a good heart. 00:20:51.760 --> 00:20:55.950 align:middle line:84% But it didn't work so well, plus the hypertension. 00:20:55.950 --> 00:21:00.320 align:middle line:84% As hard as I tried, I could not get that man to eat right. 00:21:00.320 --> 00:21:02.160 align:middle line:90% It happened at work." 00:21:02.160 --> 00:21:04.260 align:middle line:84% Bethella paused, her eyes glistening. 00:21:04.260 --> 00:21:07.650 align:middle line:84% "February 17th last year," she whispered. 00:21:07.650 --> 00:21:09.930 align:middle line:84% "He was a good man," Eddie managed 00:21:09.930 --> 00:21:12.180 align:middle line:84% to say as he turned to climb the stairs. 00:21:12.180 --> 00:21:15.360 align:middle line:90% "He loved music." 00:21:15.360 --> 00:21:18.000 align:middle line:84% Lit by a single bulb, a twin-size mattress, 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:21.810 align:middle line:84% neatly dressed with striped bedclothes faintly burned 00:21:21.810 --> 00:21:24.930 align:middle line:84% by the old dryer, created a small oasis 00:21:24.930 --> 00:21:27.720 align:middle line:84% in the middle of a disorderly storage space. 00:21:27.720 --> 00:21:30.540 align:middle line:84% A pilly orange blanket lay on top. 00:21:30.540 --> 00:21:33.750 align:middle line:84% Gradually disintegrating piles of dusty jazz albums, 00:21:33.750 --> 00:21:37.740 align:middle line:84% carefully folded wooden-- woolen blankets-- oh, woolen, wooden, 00:21:37.740 --> 00:21:40.200 align:middle line:90% that would be bad-- 00:21:40.200 --> 00:21:43.710 align:middle line:84% a broken decades-old vacuum cleaner, and an antique fan 00:21:43.710 --> 00:21:46.080 align:middle line:84% clogged at the periphery of the room. 00:21:46.080 --> 00:21:48.390 align:middle line:84% A long box that looked like an old suitcase 00:21:48.390 --> 00:21:49.620 align:middle line:90% caught Eddie's attention. 00:21:49.620 --> 00:21:52.770 align:middle line:84% But when he unsnapped its clasps, with some difficulty, 00:21:52.770 --> 00:21:55.710 align:middle line:84% to discover a shining brass trombone inside, 00:21:55.710 --> 00:21:58.050 align:middle line:84% nestled in red velveteen, the sight 00:21:58.050 --> 00:22:02.070 align:middle line:84% put him in mind of both Fremont and a body lying in a coffin. 00:22:02.070 --> 00:22:04.290 align:middle line:90% And he flipped the case shut. 00:22:04.290 --> 00:22:06.000 align:middle line:84% Eddie stared around the dim room, 00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:08.070 align:middle line:84% doubtful that he could sleep well there. 00:22:08.070 --> 00:22:10.740 align:middle line:84% He pictured nights of watching for unpleasant signs 00:22:10.740 --> 00:22:12.947 align:middle line:84% in the inky crevice where the halves of the roof 00:22:12.947 --> 00:22:13.530 align:middle line:90% came together. 00:22:13.530 --> 00:22:16.330 align:middle line:90% 00:22:16.330 --> 00:22:18.670 align:middle line:84% In less than an hour, Bethella changed her mind 00:22:18.670 --> 00:22:21.220 align:middle line:84% and insisted that Eddie see a doctor. 00:22:21.220 --> 00:22:24.190 align:middle line:84% "My doctor," she said, "she's a Chinese," 00:22:24.190 --> 00:22:26.200 align:middle line:84% perhaps assuming that her nephew would not 00:22:26.200 --> 00:22:28.270 align:middle line:90% accept a white physician. 00:22:28.270 --> 00:22:30.130 align:middle line:84% Eddie wasn't immediately swayed, though. 00:22:30.130 --> 00:22:32.590 align:middle line:84% And Bethella gave him a lecture on the stubbornness 00:22:32.590 --> 00:22:34.240 align:middle line:84% of certain Black men in the family, 00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:38.200 align:middle line:84% like his grandfather P.T. Randolph and his uncle Gunther. 00:22:38.200 --> 00:22:40.750 align:middle line:84% "You're acting just like your granddad. 00:22:40.750 --> 00:22:44.620 align:middle line:84% He enjoyed sitting in his pain and wallowing," she said. 00:22:44.620 --> 00:22:46.870 align:middle line:84% "Well, Gunther's got all the time in the world 00:22:46.870 --> 00:22:48.995 align:middle line:84% to feel sorry for himself now in prison. 00:22:48.995 --> 00:22:50.620 align:middle line:84% And all of you are smart enough to know 00:22:50.620 --> 00:22:54.100 align:middle line:84% exactly how the world screwed you, and the Man screwed you, 00:22:54.100 --> 00:22:56.180 align:middle line:84% and that there's no hope to change it. 00:22:56.180 --> 00:22:57.460 align:middle line:90% Your daddy wasn't like that. 00:22:57.460 --> 00:23:00.550 align:middle line:84% See, he was on the Hardison side, a fine man. 00:23:00.550 --> 00:23:02.660 align:middle line:90% He tried to change things." 00:23:02.660 --> 00:23:05.710 align:middle line:84% Eddie shot a weary look at his aunt. 00:23:05.710 --> 00:23:08.410 align:middle line:84% "Oh, they got him," she continued proudly, 00:23:08.410 --> 00:23:10.810 align:middle line:90% "but at least he died fighting." 00:23:10.810 --> 00:23:13.090 align:middle line:84% She scratched her biceps and continued. 00:23:13.090 --> 00:23:14.770 align:middle line:90% "Fine, be hard-headed. 00:23:14.770 --> 00:23:16.960 align:middle line:84% But I don't have any time for a young man who 00:23:16.960 --> 00:23:19.945 align:middle line:84% loses his phalanges and won't see a doctor. 00:23:19.945 --> 00:23:21.820 align:middle line:84% And you're going to tell me how this happened 00:23:21.820 --> 00:23:23.670 align:middle line:90% and who is responsible ASAP. 00:23:23.670 --> 00:23:25.960 align:middle line:90% So help me God." 00:23:25.960 --> 00:23:28.660 align:middle line:84% At first, Eddie resented Bethella's involvement 00:23:28.660 --> 00:23:30.250 align:middle line:84% and resisted going to a doctor merely 00:23:30.250 --> 00:23:32.170 align:middle line:90% for the sake of resisting. 00:23:32.170 --> 00:23:34.150 align:middle line:84% But after a while, he admitted the stupidity 00:23:34.150 --> 00:23:35.890 align:middle line:84% of his stubbornness, and weighing it 00:23:35.890 --> 00:23:37.750 align:middle line:84% against the possibility of gangrene, 00:23:37.750 --> 00:23:40.750 align:middle line:84% the workings of which Bethella explained to him in detail, 00:23:40.750 --> 00:23:42.790 align:middle line:90% he agreed to go. 00:23:42.790 --> 00:23:45.220 align:middle line:84% She offered to pay half or figure out how 00:23:45.220 --> 00:23:46.930 align:middle line:90% to put him on her insurance. 00:23:46.930 --> 00:23:49.540 align:middle line:84% "I'll say you're my son," she promised. 00:23:49.540 --> 00:23:52.480 align:middle line:90% Quietly, he enjoyed that idea. 00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:56.560 align:middle line:84% Dr. Fiona Hong had a clever face and an easy, staccato laugh. 00:23:56.560 --> 00:23:58.570 align:middle line:84% Her limbs seemed loose for someone 00:23:58.570 --> 00:24:01.900 align:middle line:84% in medicine, someone who had to jab folks with needles. 00:24:01.900 --> 00:24:03.970 align:middle line:84% Her swooping arms won Eddie over. 00:24:03.970 --> 00:24:07.630 align:middle line:84% It didn't bother him that she called him by his first name. 00:24:07.630 --> 00:24:09.730 align:middle line:84% When she unwrapped his bandages, she 00:24:09.730 --> 00:24:13.330 align:middle line:84% did not register very much shock or even curiosity. 00:24:13.330 --> 00:24:16.870 align:middle line:84% Instead, she seemed impressed, almost thrilled. 00:24:16.870 --> 00:24:20.570 align:middle line:84% Maybe doctors liked unusual cases. 00:24:20.570 --> 00:24:22.760 align:middle line:84% "We're going to need to get you to the OR, Eddie, 00:24:22.760 --> 00:24:24.680 align:middle line:90% pretty much right now." 00:24:24.680 --> 00:24:29.000 align:middle line:84% Her bright, possibly nervous laugh, sounded like a bark. 00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:31.130 align:middle line:84% "You'll also need antibiotics and painkillers," 00:24:31.130 --> 00:24:36.020 align:middle line:84% she informed him, "and we'll see each other again soon, OK?" 00:24:36.020 --> 00:24:38.660 align:middle line:84% Several days and doctors later, as the two of them 00:24:38.660 --> 00:24:41.690 align:middle line:84% rode back to Bethella's house, his aunt's thin patience 00:24:41.690 --> 00:24:42.710 align:middle line:90% disappeared. 00:24:42.710 --> 00:24:44.780 align:middle line:84% Her head flicking toward him like 00:24:44.780 --> 00:24:47.240 align:middle line:84% a bird's, her eyes reddish and intent 00:24:47.240 --> 00:24:50.270 align:middle line:84% and halfway off the road, she said, "You're not 00:24:50.270 --> 00:24:52.640 align:middle line:84% telling me what happened, because you don't want me 00:24:52.640 --> 00:24:54.440 align:middle line:90% to know what your mother did. 00:24:54.440 --> 00:24:58.490 align:middle line:84% When are you planning to stop protecting her? 00:24:58.490 --> 00:24:59.720 align:middle line:90% Stop protecting her. 00:24:59.720 --> 00:25:02.850 align:middle line:90% What, did she do it herself?" 00:25:02.850 --> 00:25:04.590 align:middle line:84% Eddie did not agree with Bethella, 00:25:04.590 --> 00:25:07.200 align:middle line:84% but he knew better than to sass the most responsible member 00:25:07.200 --> 00:25:09.360 align:middle line:84% of the older generation, especially when he 00:25:09.360 --> 00:25:11.340 align:middle line:90% needed to sleep in her attic. 00:25:11.340 --> 00:25:14.280 align:middle line:84% If he argued, she would pull rank and stick to her version 00:25:14.280 --> 00:25:15.180 align:middle line:90% anyway. 00:25:15.180 --> 00:25:18.510 align:middle line:84% Mostly, he wanted to make sure that his aunt knew 00:25:18.510 --> 00:25:22.050 align:middle line:90% that Darlene was not to blame. 00:25:22.050 --> 00:25:24.240 align:middle line:84% A few weeks after arriving in St. Cloud, 00:25:24.240 --> 00:25:26.640 align:middle line:84% Eddie started to pick up jobs here and there. 00:25:26.640 --> 00:25:29.340 align:middle line:84% He randomly encountered Sandy, the waitress from the Hungry 00:25:29.340 --> 00:25:30.780 align:middle line:90% Haven, at a drugstore. 00:25:30.780 --> 00:25:32.790 align:middle line:84% And she told him that an overworked construction 00:25:32.790 --> 00:25:35.010 align:middle line:84% guy who didn't do concrete had heard 00:25:35.010 --> 00:25:38.190 align:middle line:84% about a divorcee in a Victorian outside Pierz who 00:25:38.190 --> 00:25:42.210 align:middle line:84% needed a whole pool patio and front walkway done. 00:25:42.210 --> 00:25:45.000 align:middle line:84% Pouring concrete didn't require much finesse. 00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:48.870 align:middle line:84% And the construction guy could handle anything Eddie couldn't. 00:25:48.870 --> 00:25:51.210 align:middle line:84% When Eddie met with him, the guy made the call 00:25:51.210 --> 00:25:52.920 align:middle line:90% while Eddie sat right there. 00:25:52.920 --> 00:25:55.470 align:middle line:84% People did favors for strangers here, 00:25:55.470 --> 00:25:58.560 align:middle line:84% Eddie noted, without exactly being friendly. 00:25:58.560 --> 00:26:00.970 align:middle line:84% Nevertheless, he felt like he had a reprieve. 00:26:00.970 --> 00:26:03.750 align:middle line:84% Bethella had mixed feelings about his decision to work. 00:26:03.750 --> 00:26:06.870 align:middle line:84% Sometimes, she warned him to get a diploma, other times she 00:26:06.870 --> 00:26:09.030 align:middle line:84% openly wished for solitude, seeming 00:26:09.030 --> 00:26:13.840 align:middle line:84% to imply that he should get a steady job and get gone. 00:26:13.840 --> 00:26:16.000 align:middle line:84% Eventually, Bethella stopped tolerating 00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:19.020 align:middle line:84% Eddie's announcements about going to find Darlene. 00:26:19.020 --> 00:26:21.880 align:middle line:84% "Your mother and I," she would begin, always 00:26:21.880 --> 00:26:24.130 align:middle line:84% neglecting to finish the thought. 00:26:24.130 --> 00:26:26.620 align:middle line:90% Then she'd say, "Just don't. 00:26:26.620 --> 00:26:29.830 align:middle line:90% You have to have a bottom line." 00:26:29.830 --> 00:26:32.710 align:middle line:84% Darlene had called the house, begging him to return. 00:26:32.710 --> 00:26:36.070 align:middle line:84% But it soon dawned on Eddie that she hadn't quit drugs. 00:26:36.070 --> 00:26:39.580 align:middle line:84% Their conversations splintered into anger and incoherence. 00:26:39.580 --> 00:26:41.350 align:middle line:84% And while brooding over their relationship 00:26:41.350 --> 00:26:42.970 align:middle line:90% in his workspace, a.k.a. 00:26:42.970 --> 00:26:46.630 align:middle line:84% Bethella's basement, one day, he admitted to himself 00:26:46.630 --> 00:26:49.630 align:middle line:84% that some problems and some people can never get 00:26:49.630 --> 00:26:52.510 align:middle line:84% fixed even by a skilled handyman. 00:26:52.510 --> 00:26:54.550 align:middle line:84% After that, Eddie might speak abstractly 00:26:54.550 --> 00:26:56.800 align:middle line:84% about going to rescue his mother. 00:26:56.800 --> 00:26:59.560 align:middle line:84% But he said very little to his aunt about the exploitation 00:26:59.560 --> 00:27:03.430 align:middle line:84% and injury he'd suffered at Delicious Foods. 00:27:03.430 --> 00:27:06.700 align:middle line:84% She never encouraged him to return for Darlene. 00:27:06.700 --> 00:27:09.930 align:middle line:90% And she never asked for details. 00:27:09.930 --> 00:27:11.630 align:middle line:84% The more time went by, the more ashamed 00:27:11.630 --> 00:27:13.460 align:middle line:84% he grew about taking Darlene's side, 00:27:13.460 --> 00:27:15.320 align:middle line:84% and the more he saw the sense in Bethella's 00:27:15.320 --> 00:27:19.480 align:middle line:84% dispassionate, rational decision to cut her off. 00:27:19.480 --> 00:27:21.070 align:middle line:84% In the meantime, good luck at work 00:27:21.070 --> 00:27:22.750 align:middle line:90% made hedging easier for him. 00:27:22.750 --> 00:27:25.990 align:middle line:84% His one job grew other jobs, then an apprenticeship, 00:27:25.990 --> 00:27:29.050 align:middle line:84% and soon, a regular business sprouted up around him. 00:27:29.050 --> 00:27:31.240 align:middle line:84% That September, Eddie turned 18 and moved 00:27:31.240 --> 00:27:33.650 align:middle line:84% from Bethella's to an apartment just down the street. 00:27:33.650 --> 00:27:35.988 align:middle line:84% So they could still look out for each other. 00:27:35.988 --> 00:27:37.780 align:middle line:84% Sometimes, Eddie would go over to her house 00:27:37.780 --> 00:27:41.350 align:middle line:84% and watch her new favorite TV show, a sentimental series 00:27:41.350 --> 00:27:44.110 align:middle line:90% featuring a Black woman angel. 00:27:44.110 --> 00:27:46.990 align:middle line:84% She would rub his shoulder blade and describe her pride in him, 00:27:46.990 --> 00:27:50.080 align:middle line:84% but he could still hear the undertones of relief 00:27:50.080 --> 00:27:51.550 align:middle line:90% that he'd left. 00:27:51.550 --> 00:27:53.290 align:middle line:84% She might come over with a piled-up plate 00:27:53.290 --> 00:27:56.380 align:middle line:84% sometimes, no sweet potato pies, but juicy greens 00:27:56.380 --> 00:27:59.410 align:middle line:84% that made the breading flop off her overcooked fried chicken, 00:27:59.410 --> 00:28:01.660 align:middle line:84% mashed potatoes in a tin foil pouch, 00:28:01.660 --> 00:28:05.110 align:middle line:84% soaking up its metallic taste, undercooked pig feet. 00:28:05.110 --> 00:28:07.150 align:middle line:90% He ate only enough to be polite. 00:28:07.150 --> 00:28:08.410 align:middle line:90% He never complained. 00:28:08.410 --> 00:28:12.190 align:middle line:84% He knew that good intentions always trumped bad soul food. 00:28:12.190 --> 00:28:14.570 align:middle line:84% And he grew as comfortable with the surrogate motherhood 00:28:14.570 --> 00:28:16.510 align:middle line:84% she provided as she did with the way 00:28:16.510 --> 00:28:21.460 align:middle line:84% that he partially filled the space left by Fremont's death. 00:28:21.460 --> 00:28:23.890 align:middle line:84% In due time, Eddie learned to stick a pen in his mouth 00:28:23.890 --> 00:28:24.730 align:middle line:90% and write again. 00:28:24.730 --> 00:28:27.550 align:middle line:84% And once he gained some skill, he sketched out a device-- 00:28:27.550 --> 00:28:31.510 align:middle line:84% two short cups, each with a pair of pincers attached, a simpler 00:28:31.510 --> 00:28:34.960 align:middle line:84% model of a prosthetic hook he'd studied in a trade magazine. 00:28:34.960 --> 00:28:37.240 align:middle line:84% The carpenter, to whom he'd become apprenticed, 00:28:37.240 --> 00:28:40.870 align:middle line:84% helped him make a version out of wood, cheaper that way. 00:28:40.870 --> 00:28:42.850 align:middle line:84% Together they perfected it, a custom 00:28:42.850 --> 00:28:44.680 align:middle line:84% fit for the end of his right arm. 00:28:44.680 --> 00:28:46.810 align:middle line:84% They smoothed and finished it, covered it 00:28:46.810 --> 00:28:48.190 align:middle line:90% in a lightweight polymer. 00:28:48.190 --> 00:28:50.800 align:middle line:84% And when that one worked, they made another for his left, 00:28:50.800 --> 00:28:53.320 align:middle line:84% attached it to a harness with catgut strings, 00:28:53.320 --> 00:28:56.290 align:middle line:90% and looped it around his back. 00:28:56.290 --> 00:28:58.810 align:middle line:84% Wearing the contraption felt as grand to him 00:28:58.810 --> 00:29:01.330 align:middle line:84% as putting on an expensive new suit. 00:29:01.330 --> 00:29:03.100 align:middle line:84% Eddie stretched his arms and elbows, 00:29:03.100 --> 00:29:04.810 align:middle line:84% testing out the potential for movement, 00:29:04.810 --> 00:29:07.000 align:middle line:84% for subtle inflections in each pincer, 00:29:07.000 --> 00:29:10.100 align:middle line:84% for a lifelike bend in the wrist. 00:29:10.100 --> 00:29:12.440 align:middle line:84% The prosthesis seemed to wipe out the past 00:29:12.440 --> 00:29:15.080 align:middle line:84% and stretch the future into infinity. 00:29:15.080 --> 00:29:17.120 align:middle line:90% Eddie began to hope ferociously. 00:29:17.120 --> 00:29:19.093 align:middle line:84% Perhaps, he would go back south after all 00:29:19.093 --> 00:29:20.510 align:middle line:84% and get Darlene to leave Delicious 00:29:20.510 --> 00:29:22.910 align:middle line:90% whether she wanted to or not. 00:29:22.910 --> 00:29:25.700 align:middle line:84% He spent eight months or so gaining dexterity. 00:29:25.700 --> 00:29:28.010 align:middle line:84% Mornings and late nights, he practiced picking up 00:29:28.010 --> 00:29:30.740 align:middle line:84% grains of rice, turning doorknobs, spigots, 00:29:30.740 --> 00:29:34.520 align:middle line:84% and pages, holding utensils, raising glasses. 00:29:34.520 --> 00:29:37.430 align:middle line:84% As he grew more confident, he tried juggling two eggs, 00:29:37.430 --> 00:29:40.040 align:middle line:84% but after covering his kitchen table in goo, 00:29:40.040 --> 00:29:43.310 align:middle line:90% he switched to small rocks. 00:29:43.310 --> 00:29:46.640 align:middle line:84% The range and subtlety of motion Eddie's invention 00:29:46.640 --> 00:29:48.620 align:middle line:84% offered him expanded his abilities 00:29:48.620 --> 00:29:50.210 align:middle line:90% well beyond what he'd hoped. 00:29:50.210 --> 00:29:52.610 align:middle line:84% Pouring concrete and tarring roofs no longer 00:29:52.610 --> 00:29:54.620 align:middle line:84% made up his entire work schedule. 00:29:54.620 --> 00:29:57.967 align:middle line:84% After being in St. Cloud for a year and a half, 00:29:57.967 --> 00:29:59.550 align:middle line:84% he returned to doing electrical wiring 00:29:59.550 --> 00:30:02.010 align:middle line:84% and repairing appliances as he had done at the farm, 00:30:02.010 --> 00:30:05.040 align:middle line:84% though it took longer to overhaul a radio than before. 00:30:05.040 --> 00:30:08.040 align:middle line:84% He had trouble managing the tiny screwdrivers, 00:30:08.040 --> 00:30:11.970 align:middle line:84% the intricate circuitry, but soon. 00:30:11.970 --> 00:30:13.860 align:middle line:84% To the clients he started attracting, 00:30:13.860 --> 00:30:16.170 align:middle line:84% Eddie became something of a curiosity. 00:30:16.170 --> 00:30:18.330 align:middle line:84% They would come in to watch him work in his garage, 00:30:18.330 --> 00:30:19.950 align:middle line:90% behind a house he now rented. 00:30:19.950 --> 00:30:22.830 align:middle line:84% And he would sit intently on his high wobbly stool, 00:30:22.830 --> 00:30:26.670 align:middle line:84% lit by a fluorescent desk lamp, amid oily file cabinets, 00:30:26.670 --> 00:30:29.680 align:middle line:84% and plastic drawers full of washers, lug nuts, screws, 00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:31.110 align:middle line:90% nails, and grommets. 00:30:31.110 --> 00:30:33.900 align:middle line:84% They would stay sometimes until it seemed rude. 00:30:33.900 --> 00:30:36.090 align:middle line:84% Fascinated, he assumed, by the fact 00:30:36.090 --> 00:30:37.920 align:middle line:84% that a physically disabled man could 00:30:37.920 --> 00:30:40.500 align:middle line:84% make a profession of such precise work, 00:30:40.500 --> 00:30:44.370 align:middle line:84% by the added hardship brought on by his color, and eventually, 00:30:44.370 --> 00:30:46.590 align:middle line:84% by the minute detail he could accomplish 00:30:46.590 --> 00:30:50.655 align:middle line:84% using only the curved wooden hooks of his prosthetic hands. 00:30:50.655 --> 00:30:52.530 align:middle line:84% Eddie knew that they viewed him as a novelty, 00:30:52.530 --> 00:30:54.480 align:middle line:84% but he didn't have the luxury of begrudging 00:30:54.480 --> 00:30:55.950 align:middle line:90% them their reactions. 00:30:55.950 --> 00:30:59.190 align:middle line:84% Instead, he sought to translate the amazement in their faces 00:30:59.190 --> 00:31:00.630 align:middle line:90% into a stable income. 00:31:00.630 --> 00:31:03.600 align:middle line:84% If he could have pulled coins directly out of their mouths, 00:31:03.600 --> 00:31:05.430 align:middle line:90% he would have. 00:31:05.430 --> 00:31:08.190 align:middle line:84% He'd meet the men's sheepish gawking 00:31:08.190 --> 00:31:09.990 align:middle line:90% with technical conversation. 00:31:09.990 --> 00:31:13.260 align:middle line:84% "These here wires, this darn microchip, 00:31:13.260 --> 00:31:15.540 align:middle line:84% did you ever see a circuit board this? 00:31:15.540 --> 00:31:17.310 align:middle line:90% Your screen is blown out." 00:31:17.310 --> 00:31:20.280 align:middle line:84% Or if they showed no interest in the gadgets or home repairs 00:31:20.280 --> 00:31:23.170 align:middle line:84% he hunched over, he'd start with the weather. 00:31:23.170 --> 00:31:26.930 align:middle line:84% You could nearly always complain about the cold in Minnesota. 00:31:26.930 --> 00:31:28.480 align:middle line:84% And if you couldn't, you could marvel 00:31:28.480 --> 00:31:32.950 align:middle line:84% that for once it wasn't cold, or about the strange summer heat. 00:31:32.950 --> 00:31:35.560 align:middle line:84% You could then graduate to the Twins or the Vikings. 00:31:35.560 --> 00:31:38.028 align:middle line:84% Somebody who brought a child or a dog into his garage 00:31:38.028 --> 00:31:39.820 align:middle line:84% hardly had a choice about whether to become 00:31:39.820 --> 00:31:42.040 align:middle line:84% a regular customer, when the pressure to seem 00:31:42.040 --> 00:31:44.680 align:middle line:84% compassionate and good in Eddie's presence intersected 00:31:44.680 --> 00:31:46.780 align:middle line:84% with the cuteness of animals and children, 00:31:46.780 --> 00:31:48.820 align:middle line:84% the resulting atmosphere could probably 00:31:48.820 --> 00:31:52.330 align:middle line:84% have made a bedridden hermit throw a dance party. 00:31:52.330 --> 00:31:54.840 align:middle line:84% Only the kids ever asked about his condition, though, 00:31:54.840 --> 00:31:56.590 align:middle line:84% and, provided the adults didn't hush them, 00:31:56.590 --> 00:31:58.750 align:middle line:90% he'd speak frankly and jovially. 00:31:58.750 --> 00:32:02.830 align:middle line:84% One day, a red-haired girl asked, "Hey, mister, 00:32:02.830 --> 00:32:05.200 align:middle line:90% how come you have claws?" 00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:07.720 align:middle line:84% "I had an accident," he told her calmly, though, 00:32:07.720 --> 00:32:09.880 align:middle line:84% at the same time he remembered every second, 00:32:09.880 --> 00:32:11.710 align:middle line:84% the blindfold made with a sweatshirt, 00:32:11.710 --> 00:32:13.420 align:middle line:84% the tension in his clenched teeth, 00:32:13.420 --> 00:32:16.470 align:middle line:84% the moment when he blacked out from the pain. 00:32:16.470 --> 00:32:18.330 align:middle line:84% Her father stroked the nape of her neck. 00:32:18.330 --> 00:32:21.480 align:middle line:84% "Don't bother the handyman when he's busy, Viv." 00:32:21.480 --> 00:32:26.970 align:middle line:84% "He's a handyman without hands," Viv observed. 00:32:26.970 --> 00:32:29.730 align:middle line:84% Her father let out a loud anxious laugh, 00:32:29.730 --> 00:32:32.670 align:middle line:84% Viv giggled, and Eddie turned away from his work for a moment 00:32:32.670 --> 00:32:34.320 align:middle line:90% to share their laughter. 00:32:34.320 --> 00:32:36.420 align:middle line:84% As the father laughed, Eddie wondered 00:32:36.420 --> 00:32:38.880 align:middle line:84% if the man would hold the comment against his child. 00:32:38.880 --> 00:32:41.160 align:middle line:84% But the tension ebbed, and Eddie leaned down 00:32:41.160 --> 00:32:44.670 align:middle line:84% until some flyaway strands of her hair tickled his nose. 00:32:44.670 --> 00:32:46.830 align:middle line:84% "You know, that's exactly right, Miss Wilson. 00:32:46.830 --> 00:32:48.990 align:middle line:90% I never thought of it that way." 00:32:48.990 --> 00:32:50.790 align:middle line:84% Her father made an apologetic mouth, 00:32:50.790 --> 00:32:53.100 align:middle line:90% "She's darn plucky, my Viv. 00:32:53.100 --> 00:32:55.320 align:middle line:90% I'm sorry, Mr. Hardison." 00:32:55.320 --> 00:32:58.140 align:middle line:84% "No need," Eddie said, "that's a great saying. 00:32:58.140 --> 00:33:00.240 align:middle line:84% I'm going to put that on my business card." 00:33:00.240 --> 00:33:03.120 align:middle line:84% He turned to the girl, "How would you like that?" 00:33:03.120 --> 00:33:07.500 align:middle line:84% "I guess that would be fine," Vivian said demurely. 00:33:07.500 --> 00:33:09.600 align:middle line:84% "Be careful," her father warned him, 00:33:09.600 --> 00:33:12.510 align:middle line:84% "this one will want royalties down the line." 00:33:12.510 --> 00:33:14.700 align:middle line:84% The following week, Eddie visited the printer 00:33:14.700 --> 00:33:18.450 align:middle line:84% and offset a run of small stiff cards emblazoned with his name 00:33:18.450 --> 00:33:21.210 align:middle line:84% and contact information, carrying the girl's description 00:33:21.210 --> 00:33:24.420 align:middle line:84% above it in red, curved like a rainbow over a landscape 00:33:24.420 --> 00:33:26.820 align:middle line:84% with a river zigzagging through the center-- 00:33:26.820 --> 00:33:28.530 align:middle line:90% "Handyman without hands." 00:33:28.530 --> 00:33:30.970 align:middle line:90% 00:33:30.970 --> 00:33:32.470 align:middle line:84% When he thought of the phrase, Eddie 00:33:32.470 --> 00:33:34.137 align:middle line:84% didn't mind that it reduced his troubles 00:33:34.137 --> 00:33:35.980 align:middle line:90% to a friendly, manageable quirk. 00:33:35.980 --> 00:33:39.550 align:middle line:84% The funny contradictory label covered up 00:33:39.550 --> 00:33:41.380 align:middle line:84% all the loss and pain, and made it 00:33:41.380 --> 00:33:43.060 align:middle line:84% so that customers could approach him 00:33:43.060 --> 00:33:45.550 align:middle line:84% with a feeling of comfort and friendliness. 00:33:45.550 --> 00:33:47.770 align:middle line:84% People didn't recoil or start anymore 00:33:47.770 --> 00:33:50.410 align:middle line:84% when their eyes traveled to the ends of his wrists. 00:33:50.410 --> 00:33:52.420 align:middle line:84% "He's the handyman without hands," 00:33:52.420 --> 00:33:55.630 align:middle line:90% they'd say, "How cool is that?" 00:33:55.630 --> 00:33:58.330 align:middle line:84% The St. Cloud Times wrote an article 00:33:58.330 --> 00:33:59.650 align:middle line:90% about him and his business. 00:33:59.650 --> 00:34:02.950 align:middle line:84% In the photo, he grinned, holding his prosthesis up, 00:34:02.950 --> 00:34:05.230 align:middle line:84% a hammer balanced in the right one. 00:34:05.230 --> 00:34:07.775 align:middle line:84% A headline described him as a local John Henry, 00:34:07.775 --> 00:34:10.150 align:middle line:84% as if you could find that many John Henry's in Minnesota, 00:34:10.150 --> 00:34:11.949 align:middle line:90% he snickered to himself. 00:34:11.949 --> 00:34:14.290 align:middle line:84% Eddie saved 25 copies of the article. 00:34:14.290 --> 00:34:15.880 align:middle line:84% And though he gave most of them away, 00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:19.449 align:middle line:84% he hung one above his workspace inside a plastic sheath. 00:34:19.449 --> 00:34:23.440 align:middle line:84% Soon, a flood of customers sought out Eddie's services-- 00:34:23.440 --> 00:34:25.420 align:middle line:84% people who had seen the article, or the card, 00:34:25.420 --> 00:34:27.760 align:middle line:84% or heard about him through friends and relatives. 00:34:27.760 --> 00:34:29.770 align:middle line:84% He welcomed the mild amusement spread 00:34:29.770 --> 00:34:33.159 align:middle line:84% across their creamy complexions, the nervous questions pumping 00:34:33.159 --> 00:34:34.780 align:middle line:90% through their blue veins. 00:34:34.780 --> 00:34:36.969 align:middle line:84% He preferred curiosity to derision. 00:34:36.969 --> 00:34:39.909 align:middle line:84% So he controlled his impatience, because the discomfort came 00:34:39.909 --> 00:34:42.280 align:middle line:90% with a bag of gold attached. 00:34:42.280 --> 00:34:44.370 align:middle line:84% Some of the white folks brought items to him 00:34:44.370 --> 00:34:46.120 align:middle line:84% that they wouldn't otherwise have bothered 00:34:46.120 --> 00:34:48.610 align:middle line:84% to get fixed just to meet Eddie Hardison, 00:34:48.610 --> 00:34:51.010 align:middle line:90% the Handyman Without Hands. 00:34:51.010 --> 00:34:52.630 align:middle line:84% The superior quality of his work, 00:34:52.630 --> 00:34:55.870 align:middle line:84% however, brought a large percentage of the gawkers 00:34:55.870 --> 00:34:58.120 align:middle line:90% back with more serious issues-- 00:34:58.120 --> 00:35:02.290 align:middle line:84% prewar homes begging for rewiring, bathtub reglazing, 00:35:02.290 --> 00:35:06.070 align:middle line:84% wood-paneling installation or removal, patio design 00:35:06.070 --> 00:35:07.600 align:middle line:90% and reconstruction. 00:35:07.600 --> 00:35:11.080 align:middle line:84% He saved for and bought a more up-to-date prosthesis, 00:35:11.080 --> 00:35:12.910 align:middle line:90% stainless steel this time. 00:35:12.910 --> 00:35:16.540 align:middle line:84% But he preferred the comfort and facility of the early model, 00:35:16.540 --> 00:35:19.540 align:middle line:84% wearing the newer one mostly for public appearances, 00:35:19.540 --> 00:35:22.870 align:middle line:84% socials at the Nu Way Missionary Baptist Church, 00:35:22.870 --> 00:35:27.060 align:middle line:84% business meetings, visits with friends. 00:35:27.060 --> 00:35:29.730 align:middle line:84% 2 and 1/2 years after arriving in St. Cloud, 00:35:29.730 --> 00:35:33.840 align:middle line:84% Eddie opened up a bona fide shop downtown, Hardison's, selling 00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:37.390 align:middle line:84% hardware, fixing appliances, organizing home repairs. 00:35:37.390 --> 00:35:39.390 align:middle line:84% When the florist next door went out of business, 00:35:39.390 --> 00:35:41.550 align:middle line:90% he expanded into that space. 00:35:41.550 --> 00:35:43.860 align:middle line:84% The shop thrived, and the novelty of the Handyman 00:35:43.860 --> 00:35:45.150 align:middle line:90% Without Hands wore off. 00:35:45.150 --> 00:35:49.980 align:middle line:84% But Eddie never removed the phrase from his business card. 00:35:49.980 --> 00:35:52.050 align:middle line:84% Eddie didn't let his disability get 00:35:52.050 --> 00:35:53.400 align:middle line:90% in the way of an active life. 00:35:53.400 --> 00:35:55.830 align:middle line:84% And that attitude paid off in many ways. 00:35:55.830 --> 00:35:58.020 align:middle line:84% On an ice skating outing to St. Paul, 00:35:58.020 --> 00:36:01.440 align:middle line:84% he met a paralegal named Ruth, four years his senior. 00:36:01.440 --> 00:36:03.690 align:middle line:84% Ruth was the only woman he'd met in Minnesota 00:36:03.690 --> 00:36:06.120 align:middle line:84% who remained unfazed by his missing hands, 00:36:06.120 --> 00:36:08.940 align:middle line:84% though she did prefer to remove or warm up his metal 00:36:08.940 --> 00:36:12.600 align:middle line:84% prosthesis with her cardigan before lovemaking. 00:36:12.600 --> 00:36:15.240 align:middle line:84% After eight months of dating, which Bethella considered 00:36:15.240 --> 00:36:17.520 align:middle line:84% too short a time, Ruth moved in with him 00:36:17.520 --> 00:36:19.320 align:middle line:90% and became his fiancee. 00:36:19.320 --> 00:36:22.710 align:middle line:84% They had a son out of wedlock whom they named Nathaniel. 00:36:22.710 --> 00:36:25.860 align:middle line:84% The boy seemed to inherit his father's tenacity 00:36:25.860 --> 00:36:28.530 align:middle line:90% and his grandfather's charisma. 00:36:28.530 --> 00:36:30.900 align:middle line:84% Eddie presumed that by drafting and adhering 00:36:30.900 --> 00:36:33.150 align:middle line:84% to such an average blueprint for a life, 00:36:33.150 --> 00:36:35.100 align:middle line:84% he could overcome his misfortunes 00:36:35.100 --> 00:36:38.460 align:middle line:84% and shake off all the agonizing memories of Delicious Foods. 00:36:38.460 --> 00:36:42.330 align:middle line:84% But they never left him, nor did the urge to return to Louisiana 00:36:42.330 --> 00:36:45.630 align:middle line:84% and set things right disappear completely. 00:36:45.630 --> 00:36:47.910 align:middle line:84% Sometimes, he snapped awake in the earliest morning 00:36:47.910 --> 00:36:50.610 align:middle line:84% hours, convinced that he was back at the farm. 00:36:50.610 --> 00:36:52.590 align:middle line:84% Shrouded in pitch black, the memories 00:36:52.590 --> 00:36:54.630 align:middle line:84% would return, alighting on his bed 00:36:54.630 --> 00:36:57.810 align:middle line:84% like dark birds poised to attack him. 00:36:57.810 --> 00:37:00.150 align:middle line:84% Inevitably, they seemed to say, someone 00:37:00.150 --> 00:37:02.730 align:middle line:84% will reveal everything that happened on that farm, 00:37:02.730 --> 00:37:05.240 align:middle line:90% and you will have to go back.