WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.920 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.920 --> 00:00:12.540 align:middle line:84% I'm interested in the kind of speech which 00:00:12.540 --> 00:00:13.920 align:middle line:90% feels the burden of telling. 00:00:13.920 --> 00:00:15.690 align:middle line:84% There's a kind of speech that doesn't 00:00:15.690 --> 00:00:17.310 align:middle line:90% have that kind of burden to it. 00:00:17.310 --> 00:00:19.580 align:middle line:90% 00:00:19.580 --> 00:00:20.830 align:middle line:90% But there is a kind of speech. 00:00:20.830 --> 00:00:25.050 align:middle line:84% I think that feels the burden of something 00:00:25.050 --> 00:00:26.660 align:middle line:90% that needs to be told. 00:00:26.660 --> 00:00:30.120 align:middle line:84% And that in my own writing at this point 00:00:30.120 --> 00:00:31.500 align:middle line:90% is what I'm interested in. 00:00:31.500 --> 00:00:35.950 align:middle line:90% 00:00:35.950 --> 00:00:40.420 align:middle line:84% I think that it's important to me because of my background, 00:00:40.420 --> 00:00:41.893 align:middle line:90% which isn't all that unusual. 00:00:41.893 --> 00:00:43.560 align:middle line:84% As a matter of fact, in this day and age 00:00:43.560 --> 00:00:48.330 align:middle line:84% I think it's pretty usual, pretty common. 00:00:48.330 --> 00:00:52.830 align:middle line:84% My background involves being born in another country, 00:00:52.830 --> 00:00:54.450 align:middle line:90% fleeing that country. 00:00:54.450 --> 00:00:57.540 align:middle line:84% My father was a political prisoner and as a result 00:00:57.540 --> 00:01:02.010 align:middle line:84% I have certain memories and stories that were-- 00:01:02.010 --> 00:01:05.310 align:middle line:84% I feel burdened by them and in writing them 00:01:05.310 --> 00:01:09.120 align:middle line:90% it's a kind of unburdening. 00:01:09.120 --> 00:01:11.370 align:middle line:84% Of course I feel the pressure of memory, the need 00:01:11.370 --> 00:01:13.270 align:middle line:90% to remember those stories. 00:01:13.270 --> 00:01:16.110 align:middle line:84% So I'm going to read a couple of poems in which memory 00:01:16.110 --> 00:01:19.570 align:middle line:90% is very important. 00:01:19.570 --> 00:01:21.450 align:middle line:84% I don't think we always want to remember 00:01:21.450 --> 00:01:23.640 align:middle line:90% or are able to remember. 00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:25.650 align:middle line:84% I think we don't remember maybe because 00:01:25.650 --> 00:01:27.720 align:middle line:90% of pain or indifference. 00:01:27.720 --> 00:01:31.200 align:middle line:84% But this poem is called "The Interrogation." 00:01:31.200 --> 00:01:32.700 align:middle line:84% There are scenes in this poem, which 00:01:32.700 --> 00:01:34.860 align:middle line:84% I remember from childhood that I can't make 00:01:34.860 --> 00:01:38.190 align:middle line:90% a lot of sense out of but-- 00:01:38.190 --> 00:01:41.070 align:middle line:84% some of them are horrific some of them are not. 00:01:41.070 --> 00:01:44.135 align:middle line:90% The poem is in two voices. 00:01:44.135 --> 00:01:45.510 align:middle line:84% I'll pause in between the voices. 00:01:45.510 --> 00:01:52.390 align:middle line:84% One voice is animated by the imperative to remember. 00:01:52.390 --> 00:01:55.740 align:middle line:90% And the other voice is not. 00:01:55.740 --> 00:01:58.500 align:middle line:90% It's called "The Interrogation." 00:01:58.500 --> 00:02:04.292 align:middle line:84% I'll just say this, when we were in Indonesia a lot of Chinese 00:02:04.292 --> 00:02:05.250 align:middle line:90% were being slaughtered. 00:02:05.250 --> 00:02:07.710 align:middle line:84% And I remember turning on the water 00:02:07.710 --> 00:02:09.930 align:middle line:90% and the water would not work. 00:02:09.930 --> 00:02:11.970 align:middle line:84% And we found out that the reservoirs were just 00:02:11.970 --> 00:02:14.280 align:middle line:90% piled up with bodies. 00:02:14.280 --> 00:02:15.365 align:middle line:90% That shows up here. 00:02:15.365 --> 00:02:16.740 align:middle line:84% It's called, "The Interrogation." 00:02:16.740 --> 00:02:19.560 align:middle line:90% 00:02:19.560 --> 00:02:26.070 align:middle line:84% "Two streams: one dry, one poured all night by our beds. 00:02:26.070 --> 00:02:28.710 align:middle line:90% 00:02:28.710 --> 00:02:31.920 align:middle line:90% I'll wonder about neither. 00:02:31.920 --> 00:02:36.240 align:middle line:84% The dry one was clogged with bodies. 00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:39.540 align:middle line:90% I'm through with memory. 00:02:39.540 --> 00:02:44.130 align:middle line:84% At which window of what house did light teach you tedium? 00:02:44.130 --> 00:02:49.020 align:middle line:84% On which step of whose stairway did you learn indecision. 00:02:49.020 --> 00:02:52.620 align:middle line:84% I'm through sorting avenues and doors, curating houses 00:02:52.620 --> 00:02:54.990 align:middle line:90% and deaths. 00:02:54.990 --> 00:02:57.420 align:middle line:84% Which house did we flee by night? 00:02:57.420 --> 00:03:01.710 align:middle line:90% Which house did we flee by day? 00:03:01.710 --> 00:03:03.900 align:middle line:90% Don't ask me. 00:03:03.900 --> 00:03:10.230 align:middle line:84% We stood and watched one burn; from one we ran away. 00:03:10.230 --> 00:03:12.840 align:middle line:84% I'm neatly folding the nights and days, 00:03:12.840 --> 00:03:16.570 align:middle line:90% notes to be forgotten. 00:03:16.570 --> 00:03:18.280 align:middle line:90% We were diminished. 00:03:18.280 --> 00:03:20.130 align:middle line:90% We were not spared. 00:03:20.130 --> 00:03:21.840 align:middle line:90% There was no pity. 00:03:21.840 --> 00:03:23.880 align:middle line:90% Neither was there sanctuary. 00:03:23.880 --> 00:03:25.230 align:middle line:90% Neither rest. 00:03:25.230 --> 00:03:27.360 align:middle line:90% There were fires in the streets. 00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:31.110 align:middle line:84% We stood among men, at the level of their hands, all 00:03:31.110 --> 00:03:35.970 align:middle line:84% those wrists, dead or soon to die. 00:03:35.970 --> 00:03:40.470 align:middle line:84% No more letting my survival depend on memory. 00:03:40.470 --> 00:03:44.640 align:middle line:84% There was the sea; its green volume brought despair. 00:03:44.640 --> 00:03:45.840 align:middle line:90% There was waiting. 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:46.920 align:middle line:90% There was leaving. 00:03:46.920 --> 00:03:50.880 align:middle line:84% There was astonishment, too, the astonishment of, 00:03:50.880 --> 00:03:52.750 align:middle line:90% "I thought you died." 00:03:52.750 --> 00:03:54.450 align:middle line:90% "How did you get out?" 00:03:54.450 --> 00:03:59.830 align:middle line:84% "And Little Fei Fei walked right by the guards!" 00:03:59.830 --> 00:04:01.290 align:middle line:90% I grow leaden with stories. 00:04:01.290 --> 00:04:04.500 align:middle line:90% My son's eyelids grow heavy. 00:04:04.500 --> 00:04:08.250 align:middle line:84% Who rowed the boat when your father tired? 00:04:08.250 --> 00:04:09.960 align:middle line:90% Don't ask me. 00:04:09.960 --> 00:04:11.100 align:middle line:90% Who came along? 00:04:11.100 --> 00:04:13.410 align:middle line:90% Who got left behind? 00:04:13.410 --> 00:04:15.750 align:middle line:90% Ask the sea. 00:04:15.750 --> 00:04:17.760 align:middle line:84% Through it all there was no song, 00:04:17.760 --> 00:04:21.570 align:middle line:84% and weeping came many years later. 00:04:21.570 --> 00:04:24.330 align:middle line:90% I'm through with memory. 00:04:24.330 --> 00:04:28.440 align:middle line:84% Sometimes a song even when there was weeping. 00:04:28.440 --> 00:04:31.110 align:middle line:90% I'm through with memory. 00:04:31.110 --> 00:04:35.480 align:middle line:84% Can't you still smell the smoke on my body?" 00:04:35.480 --> 00:04:37.290 align:middle line:90%