WEBVTT

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"It was night for many miles.

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And then the real stars
in the purple sky,

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like little boats rode out
too far, began to disappear.

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And there in the distance,
not the promised land,

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but a Holiday Inn
with bougainvillea

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growing through the
chain link by the pool.

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The door swung wide
twin beds, twin lamps,

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twin plastic cups
wrapped up in cellophane

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and he says, "No, Henry,
let's not do this."

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Can you see the plot like
dotted lines across the room?

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Here's the sink to
wash away the blood.

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Here's the whiskey,
the ripped up shirt.

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Here is the tile of
the bathroom floor.

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The disk of the drain
punched through with holes.

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Here is the boy
like a sack of meat.

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Here are the engines.

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The little room
that is not a room.

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The Henry that is not a Henry.

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The Henry with a
needle and thread

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hovering over the
hollow boy passed out

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on the universal bedspread.

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Here he is again being sewn up.

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So now we've come to
a great battlefield.

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The warmth of the fire.

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The fire still burning.

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The heat escaping
like a broken promise.

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The horizon widened
like an open road.

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Henry's putting his
hands all over him

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to keep him in the
room but the words

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keep rolling on
the keeper's lips.

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'He won't kiss me.

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He won't kiss me.'

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We're talking about
God now, not boys.

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This is the part
where, this is the part

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where, this is the part where
you wake up in your clothes

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again.

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This is the part
where you're trying

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to stay inside the building.

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"Stay in the room
for now," he says.

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"Stay in the room, for now."

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This is the place,
you say to yourself,

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where everything
starts to begin.

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The wounds reveal a thicker skin
and suddenly there is no floor.

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Meanwhile, there's something
underneath the building

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that is trying very hard
to get your attention.

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Let's say you're
dreaming about a devil

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with red skin and black horns.

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A man with almond
eyes and a zipper that

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runs the length of his spine.

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A standard devil.

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The one from the
Underwood Ham label.

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A man who is standing,
cloven hoofed,

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in the middle of
a Howard Johnson's

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pointing at you with a glass
of milk saying, "Drink this."

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Before I [INAUDIBLE].

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You pinch yourself, but
you're still sleeping.

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You pinch yourself, but
you are still sleeping.

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You pinch yourself, you
pinch yourself, you pinch.

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But the man says, "Take one.

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Take it.

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Here is the first escape."

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Pills, valves, a new velocity.

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And the voices are
getting louder.

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You can see the grill,
the pots and pans.

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The Apple pies with
their big sliced grins.

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And you can see the
shadow that the man is

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throwing across the linoleum.

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How it resembles a boat.

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How it crosses
the tiles just so.

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The masts of his arms
rasping against the windows.

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The bell rings, the dog growls.

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And then the wind picking
up, and the light falling,

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and his mouth flickering,
and the dog howling,

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and the window closing tight
against the dirty rain.

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And he's pointing at
you with a glass of milk

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as if he's trying to
tell you that there

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is some sort of shining star
now buried deep inside you.

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And he has to dig
it out with a knife.

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Here's the hallway,
and here are the doors,

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and here's the fear
of the other thing.

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The relentless thing.

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Your body drowning in gravity
but you are fighting it.

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And you want some help.

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And then help arrives but
it isn't helpful at all.

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This is the meanwhile,
the in between.

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The waiting that
happens in the space

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between one note and the next.

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The part where you confuse
his hands with the room.

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The dog with the man.

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The blood with
the ripped up sky.

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"Henry," he's saying.

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Who is it that's talking?

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I thought I heard the
clink of iced tea.

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I thought I heard the
clink of teeth to glass.

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The dog, his bowl.

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His sloppy grin.

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The number of wounds.

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The exact sequence.

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The words now lurching in
its mouth and drifting.

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The words now drifting away.

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He puts his hands,
he's putting his hands.

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He puts his hands all over
you to keep you in the room.

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But here's the angel
of cornflakes and milk.

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And here is the
angel of open wounds.

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And here's the angel
of wash you clean.

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The angel of taking
it all the way.

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We have not been given
all the words necessary.

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We have not been
given anything at all.

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We've been driving all night.

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We've been driving a long time.

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We don't want to stop.

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We can't stop.

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He's standing over you.

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His hands are open or
his hands are fists.

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It's night.

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It's new.

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He's driving.

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It's happening all over again.

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It isn't happening.

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It's love or it isn't.

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It isn't over.

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You're in a car.

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You're in the weeds again.

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You're on a bumpy road and
there are criminals everywhere,

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longing for danger.

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Open the door and
a light falls in.

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Open your mouth and it
falls right out again.

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He's on top of you.

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He's next to you, right
next to you in fact.

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He has the softest skin
wrapped entirely around him.

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It isn't him.

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It isn't you.

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You're falling now.

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You're swimming.

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This is not harmless.

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You are not breathing.

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You're climbing out of the
chlorinated pool again.

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Is there an acceptable result?

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Do we mean something
when we talk?

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Is it enough that we are
shuddering from the sound?

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Left hand raising the
fork to the mouth,

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feeling the meat slide
down your throat thinking,

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my throat, mine.

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Everything in this
cone of light is mine.

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The ashtray and the broken lamp.

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The filthy orange curtains
and his ruined shirt.

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I've been in your body,
baby and it was paradise.

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I've been in your body and
it was a carnival ride.

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You're inside you,
he's inside you.

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He's between the two of you.

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You're the residue.

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Gold bodies in a red red room.

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You are here.

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You are not here.

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You are the room,
you're in the room.

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You aren't in the room.

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Stay here for just
a little longer.

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They want to stop
but they can't stop.

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They don't know
what they're doing.

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This is not harmless.

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The, how to touch it?

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We do not want the
screen completely lifted

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from our eyes.

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Just lifted long enough
to see the holes.

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Tired and sore and
rubbed the wrong way.

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Rubbed raw and
throbbing in the light.

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They want to stop
but they don't stop.

00:09:14.870 --> 00:09:18.320 align:middle line:90%
They cannot get the bullet out.

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Cut me open and the light
streams out, stitch me up

00:09:21.680 --> 00:09:24.215 align:middle line:84%
and the light keeps streaming
out between the stitches.

00:09:24.215 --> 00:09:26.980 align:middle line:90%


00:09:26.980 --> 00:09:30.070 align:middle line:90%
He cannot get the bullet out.

00:09:30.070 --> 00:09:35.220 align:middle line:84%
He thinks, he can't
and then he does.

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A little piece of grit
to build a pearl around.

00:09:39.510 --> 00:09:44.340 align:middle line:90%
Midnight June, midnight July.

00:09:44.340 --> 00:09:47.100 align:middle line:84%
They have been going
at it for days now.

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Getting the bullet out.

00:09:49.590 --> 00:09:52.472 align:middle line:84%
Digging out the bullet and
holding it up to the light."

00:09:52.472 --> 00:09:56.090 align:middle line:90%


00:09:56.090 --> 00:09:57.330 align:middle line:90%
Thank you.

00:09:57.330 --> 00:10:00.380 align:middle line:90%
[APPLAUSE]

00:10:00.380 --> 00:10:06.000 align:middle line:90%