WEBVTT

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"Bring me an atlas.

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But I said this only after
I'd finished my second brandy.

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What for? she objected
You know where Paramus is.

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You went to Paramus
mall with us.

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But she shuffled across the
den in the worn-down slippers

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with zebra stripes
she couldn't bear

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to throw out because it
had been a Mother's Day

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gift from the girls.

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And she pulled out the Rand
McNally easy-to-read travel

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atlas from under a
stack of board games

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on the lowest shelf
of the bookcase.

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Where's the third?

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I asked.

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What third?

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The third of Doctor
Patel's new properties.

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Somewhere where we
don't know anybody,

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where we don't want to go.

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Colorado.

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Where in Colorado?

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What's wrong with New
New Jersey, she demanded.

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What's wrong with living closer
to relatives who care about us?

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What town in
Colorado, I persisted.

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You look it up in the letter
yourself if you're so keen.

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I scanned the letter.

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Montrose.

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I played my trump card.

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God is sending me
a message, too.

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God is saying choose between
Montrose and Mithapur.

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That's how we got into
the motel business

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in Colorado seven years ago.

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Mrs. Patel and I co-managed
the Bellevue in Montrose

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with the cardiologist's
brother-in-law for five years.

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The profession did take
some getting used to.

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The pay was 1/5 of what I'd
made my last year at Automoto.

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The work hours were all
night, as well as all day.

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But Mrs. Patel, who
despises despair,

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reminded me that I
had job security.

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Also, that the air was
fresher in Montrose

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than it had been in Detroit.

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Though the only time
she stepped outdoors was

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to get in or out of her car.

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Each time we discovered
efficient experimental methods

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for removing gum from
Broadloom, crusted vomit

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from the inner edges of toilet
rolls, and cigarette burns

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from Formica countertops.

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She announced this is what
God had in mind for US.

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Patent this invention
and make a fortune.

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The only job I refused
to let her help with

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was registering guests
between midnight and 4:00 AM.

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Not that Montrose is any less
safe a town than Detroit.

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But doing the night
shift by myself

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was the only insurance
policy available to me.

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But Mrs. Patel is
a persuasive woman,

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and within weeks, she coaxed
me into relaxing my room enough

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to allow her to sleep in the
office on a cot behind a canvas

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screen that little Kitty
decorated with crayon pictures

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of pointy Indian mountains.

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In Southfield, we had
put up Kirti's drawings,

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countless essays, and Londoners'
brilliant report cards

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on the refrigerator door
in our eat-in kitchen.

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At the Bellevue, we improvised.

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No self-pity is being invited.

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The truth is that imagining
Mrs. Patel asleep on the cot

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behind that screen turned
me on more than she ever had

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in her person in Southfield.

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More, even, than that time
just after Kanta was born,

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when she had failed a love
quiz in a lady's magazine,

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and so had bought
herself a pink sleeping

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suit with ribbons and frills.

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[LAUGHTER]

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Even her snores sounded
voluptuous to me.

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We might have gone
on co-managing

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the Bellevue for Dr. Shah
longer than the five years

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we did if Dr. Shah hadn't got
himself snared by some Medicare

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fraud sting operation.

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His investment properties,
the Bellevue included,

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had to be sold to pay
trial lawyers who were

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trying to keep him out of jail.

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Mrs. Patel's sister
broke the news

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to us very late one night from
a payphone at Newark Airport.

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Mrs. Patel took the
call on her cordless,

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which she keeps on the cot
all night in case of a holdup.

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And I listened in.

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The sister called
her doctor-husband

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a word in English I hadn't
heard her use before.

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Nincompoop.

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Just my luck.

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Then there were sobs.

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A nincompoop who
didn't even know

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enough to cover his tracks.

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Mrs. Shah sobbed some more
while my wife tried out

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calming platitudes.

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My wife said luck isn't luck.

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The sister said that she was
going back to Vadodara for good

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and that she was taking
the children with her.

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Luck is how we respond to
an event, my wife persisted.

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Clouds look like
clouds to some people.

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To others they look
like silver ingots

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right for smart investing.

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My investment took a bad
beating, the sister snapped.

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Dr. Shah's troubles led us to
our buying Harry's Hideaway.

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While angry Mrs. Shah was
jetting high above clouds,

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I checked all ads
for motels in the

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investment-properties-for-sale
columns of the two

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Indian-American weeklies
that I subscribed to.

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That's how I found
Harry's Hideaway.

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It required the lowest down
payment of all motels listed,

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and the seller, a
Sri Lankan Tamil,

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who needed cash to smuggle
his family out of Jaffna,

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was as desperate to
sell as Mrs. Patel

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and I were to find a new
motel roof over our heads.

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Harry's Hideaway in Granada.

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I liked the name of the town
as well as that of the motel.

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Gra-na-da.

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Good things would happen
to me in Gra-na-da.

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Like sages who retire deep
into forests to meditate,

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I would retreat into my deepest
self in Harry's Hideaway.

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I drove down the asking
price over the phone

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without finding out from
my travel-made-easy atlas

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where exactly in the
state Granada was located.

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Good things did happen.

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They're still happening.

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I'm falling deeper and deeper
in love with Mrs. Patel,

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with an exuberance
that shocks me.

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But what good is
passion if it does not

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make you shudder at
the limitlessness

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of its possibilities?

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My new happiness
was jump-started

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by one small adversity.

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The seller had fixed the books
to look as though he had made

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more money than he really had.

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We discovered that we'd
gotten more traffic in one day

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at the Bellevue
than we were luring

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in a week at Harry's Hideaway.

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We tried different
promotional dates.

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We offered 24-hour samosa
and coffee in the lobby.

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[CHUCKLING]

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Mrs. Patel's rewash while
you sleep, and even threw

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in free ironing and mending.

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Then we got wise to the
American-owned signs

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other motels put up.

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So Kirti painted us a big,
beautiful American-owned sign,

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and we stuck our
sign in our window.

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Still, 70% of our
rooms stayed vacant.

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Finally, Mrs. Patel hit upon
the idea of renting by the hour.

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[LAUGHTER]

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Now the No Vacancy under
Harry's Hideaway lights up

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the gloomiest night
of rain or snow.

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Most of my rooms are
rented by married couples.

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Mr. And Mrs. John Smith.

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[LAUGHTER]

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Mr. And Mrs. Joe Blow.

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Mr. And Mrs. What's-It-To-You.

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Sometimes they'd bring
their children along.

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I wave to girls
with bruised smiles

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the age of my Kirti
and boys with sad eyes

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and flamboyant tattoos.

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I provide a cheap roof
over the heads of all

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who need it for however long.

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I watch over my extended
family through holes

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in walls and mirrors.

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They kiss, they caress,
they tangle and tumble

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through love's fierce pace.

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I read their lips
through my peep hold.

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You bitch, they moan.

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You cunt.

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You angel.

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From my hideout, I undress
Mrs. Patel as Joe Smith tears

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clothes off his Mrs. Joe.

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I shot Mrs. Patel's
zebra-striped slippers

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off her tired feet.

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My tongue licks the harsh,
cracked skin of her heels.

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My body shudders
against her body

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and drinks its fill
of sweet fragrances.

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Sandalwood, Lysol,
Listerine, cumin, turmeric.

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Oh, Harry Hideaway, I
whisper to [INAUDIBLE].

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You have been lucky.

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Very, very lucky."

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Thank you.

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[APPLAUSE]

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