WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.100 align:middle line:84% Thank you for that wonderful introduction. 00:00:05.100 --> 00:00:07.485 align:middle line:84% When you feel known, that's a great moment. 00:00:07.485 --> 00:00:10.880 align:middle line:90% 00:00:10.880 --> 00:00:15.390 align:middle line:84% I was going to start by reading an excerpt from a poem 00:00:15.390 --> 00:00:22.110 align:middle line:84% by Saadi Youssef, who's an Iraqi poet. 00:00:22.110 --> 00:00:26.070 align:middle line:84% "America, let's exchange strange gifts. 00:00:26.070 --> 00:00:29.700 align:middle line:84% Take your smuggled cigarettes and give us potatoes. 00:00:29.700 --> 00:00:33.000 align:middle line:84% Take James Bond's golden pistol and give us 00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:35.370 align:middle line:90% Marilyn Monroe's giggle. 00:00:35.370 --> 00:00:40.140 align:middle line:84% Take the heroin syringe under the tree and give us vaccines. 00:00:40.140 --> 00:00:43.050 align:middle line:84% Take your blueprints for model penitentiaries 00:00:43.050 --> 00:00:45.420 align:middle line:90% and give us village homes. 00:00:45.420 --> 00:00:47.370 align:middle line:84% Take the books of your missionaries 00:00:47.370 --> 00:00:51.060 align:middle line:84% and give us paper for poems to defame you. 00:00:51.060 --> 00:00:55.200 align:middle line:84% Take what you do not have and give us what we have. 00:00:55.200 --> 00:00:59.070 align:middle line:84% "Take the stripes of your flag and give us the stars. 00:00:59.070 --> 00:01:01.890 align:middle line:84% Take the Afghani mujahideen beard 00:01:01.890 --> 00:01:06.030 align:middle line:84% and give us Walt Whitman's beard filled with butterflies. 00:01:06.030 --> 00:01:09.750 align:middle line:84% Take Saddam Hussein and give us Abraham Lincoln 00:01:09.750 --> 00:01:12.030 align:middle line:90% or give us no one. 00:01:12.030 --> 00:01:15.360 align:middle line:84% Now as I look across the balcony across the summer sky, 00:01:15.360 --> 00:01:18.180 align:middle line:84% the summery summer, Damascus spins 00:01:18.180 --> 00:01:20.490 align:middle line:90% dizzy among television aerials. 00:01:20.490 --> 00:01:24.570 align:middle line:84% Then it sinks deeply in the stones of the ports and towers, 00:01:24.570 --> 00:01:29.010 align:middle line:84% in the arabesques of ivory, and sinks deeply, far 00:01:29.010 --> 00:01:33.580 align:middle line:84% from Rukn al-Din, and disappears far from the balcony. 00:01:33.580 --> 00:01:35.280 align:middle line:90% "And now I remember trees-- 00:01:35.280 --> 00:01:38.070 align:middle line:84% the date palm of our mosque in Basra. 00:01:38.070 --> 00:01:41.850 align:middle line:84% At the end of Basra, a bird's beak, a child secret, 00:01:41.850 --> 00:01:43.440 align:middle line:90% of summer feast. 00:01:43.440 --> 00:01:45.300 align:middle line:90% I remember the date palm. 00:01:45.300 --> 00:01:46.110 align:middle line:90% I touch it. 00:01:46.110 --> 00:01:49.710 align:middle line:84% I become it when it falls black without fronds, when 00:01:49.710 --> 00:01:52.110 align:middle line:90% a dam fell hewn by lightning. 00:01:52.110 --> 00:01:54.660 align:middle line:84% And I remember the mighty mulberry when 00:01:54.660 --> 00:01:59.010 align:middle line:84% it rumbled, butchered with an ax to fill the stream with leaves, 00:01:59.010 --> 00:02:02.670 align:middle line:84% and birds, and angels, and green blood. 00:02:02.670 --> 00:02:06.540 align:middle line:84% "I remember when pomegranate blossoms covered the sidewalks. 00:02:06.540 --> 00:02:09.630 align:middle line:84% The students were leading the workers' parade. 00:02:09.630 --> 00:02:12.870 align:middle line:84% The trees die, pummelled, dizzy, not standing. 00:02:12.870 --> 00:02:14.370 align:middle line:90% The trees die. 00:02:14.370 --> 00:02:17.610 align:middle line:84% We are not hostages, America, and your soldiers 00:02:17.610 --> 00:02:19.290 align:middle line:90% are not God's soldiers. 00:02:19.290 --> 00:02:20.760 align:middle line:90% We are the poor ones. 00:02:20.760 --> 00:02:24.630 align:middle line:84% Ours is the Earth of the drowned gods, the gods of bulls, 00:02:24.630 --> 00:02:27.540 align:middle line:84% the gods of fires, the gods of sorrows, 00:02:27.540 --> 00:02:31.380 align:middle line:84% the intertwined clay and blood in a song. 00:02:31.380 --> 00:02:32.520 align:middle line:90% We are the poor. 00:02:32.520 --> 00:02:35.610 align:middle line:84% Ours is the God of the poor who emerges out 00:02:35.610 --> 00:02:38.460 align:middle line:84% of farmers ribs, hungry and bright, 00:02:38.460 --> 00:02:42.060 align:middle line:90% and raises heads up high. 00:02:42.060 --> 00:02:44.160 align:middle line:90% "America, we are the dead. 00:02:44.160 --> 00:02:45.750 align:middle line:90% Let your soldiers come. 00:02:45.750 --> 00:02:48.780 align:middle line:84% Whoever kills a man, let him resurrect him. 00:02:48.780 --> 00:02:51.150 align:middle line:84% We are the drowned ones, dear lady. 00:02:51.150 --> 00:02:52.470 align:middle line:90% We are the drowned. 00:02:52.470 --> 00:02:55.410 align:middle line:90% Let the water come." 00:02:55.410 --> 00:02:58.350 align:middle line:84% That was written in Damascus in 1925. 00:02:58.350 --> 00:02:59.772 align:middle line:90% This is a wonderful book. 00:02:59.772 --> 00:03:03.216 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:03:03.216 --> 00:03:06.170 align:middle line:90% 00:03:06.170 --> 00:03:11.280 align:middle line:84% Now, I'm just going to read a long, actually-- 00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:12.540 align:middle line:90% it won't be boring, I hope-- 00:03:12.540 --> 00:03:15.250 align:middle line:90% 00:03:15.250 --> 00:03:18.420 align:middle line:84% a poem from my new book, which is just out. 00:03:18.420 --> 00:03:20.790 align:middle line:84% And I haven't even seen a copy of it 00:03:20.790 --> 00:03:24.750 align:middle line:84% yet from UC Press, which is called Gone. 00:03:24.750 --> 00:03:31.170 align:middle line:84% G-O-N-E. And this is the last section of the book. 00:03:31.170 --> 00:03:34.830 align:middle line:84% And it's written in 14 parts and is called "The Passion." 00:03:34.830 --> 00:03:38.510 align:middle line:90% 00:03:38.510 --> 00:03:42.650 align:middle line:84% "Sun-blinded on a dark road, it must have been me that must 00:03:42.650 --> 00:03:43.720 align:middle line:90% have been he. 00:03:43.720 --> 00:03:46.370 align:middle line:84% If you stood there, if you were where 00:03:46.370 --> 00:03:51.140 align:middle line:84% I did, as I guessed he would do, for me, for never without fear, 00:03:51.140 --> 00:03:55.250 align:middle line:84% would each approach the other so without eyes. 00:03:55.250 --> 00:03:57.470 align:middle line:84% Who of which one was the more winning? 00:03:57.470 --> 00:04:00.560 align:middle line:84% And who the colder and who the warmer? 00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:03.020 align:middle line:84% Who was my you, or was it a you who 00:04:03.020 --> 00:04:07.460 align:middle line:84% was an ear, inclining to lips like the lips of someone else? 00:04:07.460 --> 00:04:11.420 align:middle line:84% Pluraling as one into someone I missed? 00:04:11.420 --> 00:04:12.380 align:middle line:90% Not you. 00:04:12.380 --> 00:04:13.940 align:middle line:90% Yes, still you. 00:04:13.940 --> 00:04:15.200 align:middle line:90% Yes, you. 00:04:15.200 --> 00:04:15.980 align:middle line:90% No, you. 00:04:15.980 --> 00:04:18.959 align:middle line:90% 00:04:18.959 --> 00:04:19.649 align:middle line:90% "I'd shed. 00:04:19.649 --> 00:04:20.459 align:middle line:90% She'd shed. 00:04:20.459 --> 00:04:23.670 align:middle line:84% She was shed from the end of the land, eye looking, 00:04:23.670 --> 00:04:24.930 align:middle line:90% one eye looking. 00:04:24.930 --> 00:04:27.270 align:middle line:90% Hard of hearing, hardly hearing. 00:04:27.270 --> 00:04:30.330 align:middle line:84% It was weird how he left no clues as 00:04:30.330 --> 00:04:33.810 align:middle line:84% to where or whose you were anyway. 00:04:33.810 --> 00:04:34.810 align:middle line:90% It is both. 00:04:34.810 --> 00:04:37.890 align:middle line:84% It was both of us looking, of her looking, 00:04:37.890 --> 00:04:41.670 align:middle line:84% of one looking at the other, the other's way. 00:04:41.670 --> 00:04:45.720 align:middle line:84% To see him from afar, no father you farther. 00:04:45.720 --> 00:04:49.380 align:middle line:84% You're farther, no farther than when you were not farther than 00:04:49.380 --> 00:04:51.900 align:middle line:90% this from me than this here. 00:04:51.900 --> 00:04:55.830 align:middle line:90% That, there, went on. 00:04:55.830 --> 00:04:58.440 align:middle line:84% "At each turn, we held on tight as if 00:04:58.440 --> 00:05:03.420 align:middle line:84% in danger, each error a correction, a hole in the air. 00:05:03.420 --> 00:05:06.780 align:middle line:84% So far from the center that a blooding together of us 00:05:06.780 --> 00:05:10.230 align:middle line:84% feathers, world-heavy under the breast and wheel, 00:05:10.230 --> 00:05:14.790 align:middle line:84% was necessary for the homecoming. 00:05:14.790 --> 00:05:18.630 align:middle line:84% "The grass that scents a man's skin comes from a land 00:05:18.630 --> 00:05:21.510 align:middle line:84% where he was born and was one person. 00:05:21.510 --> 00:05:25.500 align:middle line:84% Ire as a beating wind, his dirty hands. 00:05:25.500 --> 00:05:31.200 align:middle line:84% But the bird and new-mown hay aren't with him now as linen, 00:05:31.200 --> 00:05:32.925 align:middle line:90% ash, and I was. 00:05:32.925 --> 00:05:35.670 align:middle line:90% 00:05:35.670 --> 00:05:39.750 align:middle line:84% "Come back to three lines of light on a little river-- 00:05:39.750 --> 00:05:44.010 align:middle line:84% one pink, one green, and one aluminum. 00:05:44.010 --> 00:05:45.360 align:middle line:90% Come back to being. 00:05:45.360 --> 00:05:49.970 align:middle line:90% 00:05:49.970 --> 00:05:53.150 align:middle line:84% "Where there was a current but no currency-- 00:05:53.150 --> 00:05:55.400 align:middle line:90% wait, this didn't happen yet-- 00:05:55.400 --> 00:05:58.280 align:middle line:84% where there was a current on a sweet and a salt 00:05:58.280 --> 00:06:03.500 align:middle line:84% lagoon, intersecting diameters, a painting of a place 00:06:03.500 --> 00:06:06.620 align:middle line:84% hanging in my mind, gilding a frame 00:06:06.620 --> 00:06:10.760 align:middle line:84% for my rich neurotic eros, there was 00:06:10.760 --> 00:06:15.350 align:middle line:84% someone like someone else, concocted extra spatially. 00:06:15.350 --> 00:06:19.760 align:middle line:84% Like a day's delivery of everything past and nothing 00:06:19.760 --> 00:06:22.730 align:middle line:90% to hope for but recollection. 00:06:22.730 --> 00:06:25.040 align:middle line:90% The sky had the last word. 00:06:25.040 --> 00:06:26.630 align:middle line:90% It was imagination dying. 00:06:26.630 --> 00:06:30.240 align:middle line:90% 00:06:30.240 --> 00:06:34.620 align:middle line:84% "Home is the water I call home, blood thicker than brick, 00:06:34.620 --> 00:06:39.120 align:middle line:84% the river red with it, and walls supported by spirits. 00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:42.900 align:middle line:84% When the marches of marriages ended the days in jail, 00:06:42.900 --> 00:06:44.910 align:middle line:90% the way was work. 00:06:44.910 --> 00:06:48.930 align:middle line:84% In late night hours, work on the soul was the way. 00:06:48.930 --> 00:06:51.270 align:middle line:84% But a third way holds the second, 00:06:51.270 --> 00:06:53.370 align:middle line:90% and the first holds the third. 00:06:53.370 --> 00:06:57.060 align:middle line:84% And all are cold dark when there is no work. 00:06:57.060 --> 00:07:01.300 align:middle line:90% 00:07:01.300 --> 00:07:04.660 align:middle line:84% "Two children in winter wheel and chill in the silver 00:07:04.660 --> 00:07:07.240 align:middle line:90% carriage in the stony town. 00:07:07.240 --> 00:07:10.900 align:middle line:84% "What would Father say if he ever called?" 00:07:10.900 --> 00:07:16.150 align:middle line:84% He'd be a quote from a book with its solar jackets out of range 00:07:16.150 --> 00:07:17.620 align:middle line:90% because that's where he stays. 00:07:17.620 --> 00:07:21.590 align:middle line:90% 00:07:21.590 --> 00:07:23.540 align:middle line:90% "The dead do not converse. 00:07:23.540 --> 00:07:26.630 align:middle line:84% A snowlike still, a concrete sill, 00:07:26.630 --> 00:07:29.570 align:middle line:90% squares squared everywhere. 00:07:29.570 --> 00:07:32.030 align:middle line:84% Blocked-in reflections on windows 00:07:32.030 --> 00:07:36.350 align:middle line:84% gush into saffron, figures in stained glass. 00:07:36.350 --> 00:07:40.460 align:middle line:84% Those groans from the street and the gruffness of early Sundays, 00:07:40.460 --> 00:07:43.700 align:middle line:84% pills and water, will get me to the railing. 00:07:43.700 --> 00:07:46.280 align:middle line:90% 00:07:46.280 --> 00:07:51.470 align:middle line:84% "In the old way, the old wood gathered its shadows and twigs. 00:07:51.470 --> 00:07:52.700 align:middle line:90% But they wouldn't burn. 00:07:52.700 --> 00:07:55.850 align:middle line:84% They wouldn't burn, because of the ashes and ice 00:07:55.850 --> 00:07:57.530 align:middle line:90% and the snapping. 00:07:57.530 --> 00:07:59.780 align:middle line:90% It was the month of red berries. 00:07:59.780 --> 00:08:03.950 align:middle line:84% And the sister and brother held hands and ran away laughing. 00:08:03.950 --> 00:08:07.280 align:middle line:90% 00:08:07.280 --> 00:08:10.220 align:middle line:84% "Once on a summer night in a humid tunnel, 00:08:10.220 --> 00:08:11.990 align:middle line:90% sex was scheduled. 00:08:11.990 --> 00:08:16.370 align:middle line:84% But no baby faces looking up at the time. 00:08:16.370 --> 00:08:21.080 align:middle line:84% Pure lust, like a tulip budding between our chests. 00:08:21.080 --> 00:08:22.160 align:middle line:90% And it was fun. 00:08:22.160 --> 00:08:25.580 align:middle line:90% And I would do it again. 00:08:25.580 --> 00:08:27.540 align:middle line:90% "Blood when I dreamed of love. 00:08:27.540 --> 00:08:29.640 align:middle line:90% Love is the dream's blood. 00:08:29.640 --> 00:08:31.550 align:middle line:90% Blood on the way to the past. 00:08:31.550 --> 00:08:34.624 align:middle line:90% Red path, red heart, white dusk. 00:08:34.624 --> 00:08:37.980 align:middle line:90% 00:08:37.980 --> 00:08:40.890 align:middle line:84% "From the curling of the thumb, a plumb-line 00:08:40.890 --> 00:08:43.980 align:middle line:84% straight up and out to its blue tip. 00:08:43.980 --> 00:08:48.630 align:middle line:84% With other woes, we can't control or de-exist, 00:08:48.630 --> 00:08:51.075 align:middle line:84% pulled tight at the end of the stress. 00:08:51.075 --> 00:08:55.190 align:middle line:90% 00:08:55.190 --> 00:08:57.590 align:middle line:84% "This is scattered, I guess, to free 00:08:57.590 --> 00:09:00.380 align:middle line:90% the last string of wishes-- 00:09:00.380 --> 00:09:03.380 align:middle line:84% given an easy turn and thankful, too, 00:09:03.380 --> 00:09:07.820 align:middle line:84% for what I didn't get in the same breath as what manic 00:09:07.820 --> 00:09:09.530 align:middle line:90% I did. 00:09:09.530 --> 00:09:13.730 align:middle line:84% Was it luck or a plan to crawl out alone, 00:09:13.730 --> 00:09:18.920 align:middle line:84% to spin a thread of spittle as into a closed dark petal? 00:09:18.920 --> 00:09:22.480 align:middle line:90% 00:09:22.480 --> 00:09:25.480 align:middle line:84% "The heart-mark of love was a tulip 00:09:25.480 --> 00:09:29.440 align:middle line:84% and the eyes of the pupil a perfect cut for someone 00:09:29.440 --> 00:09:32.830 align:middle line:90% scarlet and doubtful. 00:09:32.830 --> 00:09:34.900 align:middle line:90% "What did you say to him?" 00:09:34.900 --> 00:09:35.470 align:middle line:90% "Nothing. 00:09:35.470 --> 00:09:36.280 align:middle line:90% I loved him." 00:09:36.280 --> 00:09:39.880 align:middle line:90% 00:09:39.880 --> 00:09:43.120 align:middle line:84% "A belly of snow under a Moonday sun, 00:09:43.120 --> 00:09:46.870 align:middle line:84% a shiny cap, a grinding cap, and the black 00:09:46.870 --> 00:09:52.610 align:middle line:84% of a hedgerow of his and hers, sooty like fur. 00:09:52.610 --> 00:09:57.220 align:middle line:84% He was gray-complexioned all the way down the forest hall. 00:09:57.220 --> 00:10:02.200 align:middle line:84% Suits and coats made out of smoke formed holes for his arms 00:10:02.200 --> 00:10:05.020 align:middle line:90% to pass through. 00:10:05.020 --> 00:10:10.180 align:middle line:84% "He managed his agony, but lost his looks and all his currency. 00:10:10.180 --> 00:10:14.410 align:middle line:84% For, him time was a vacuum filled with his visions. 00:10:14.410 --> 00:10:18.250 align:middle line:84% They held him above history like Valium or something 00:10:18.250 --> 00:10:20.540 align:middle line:90% flat in heaven. 00:10:20.540 --> 00:10:23.920 align:middle line:84% He was always gone or leaving claw-lines-- 00:10:23.920 --> 00:10:25.510 align:middle line:90% white across a brick building. 00:10:25.510 --> 00:10:30.490 align:middle line:90% 00:10:30.490 --> 00:10:34.060 align:middle line:84% "A political laugh flattened like linen, 00:10:34.060 --> 00:10:37.840 align:middle line:90% rolled apart but still a haunt. 00:10:37.840 --> 00:10:43.120 align:middle line:84% Now strips of dust filter over the prison a man is leaving. 00:10:43.120 --> 00:10:48.520 align:middle line:84% Broken locks and wood that reeks of halfway cut rotten books. 00:10:48.520 --> 00:10:54.670 align:middle line:84% Half a sun and half again of it, burning white, unhomelike. 00:10:54.670 --> 00:10:56.860 align:middle line:84% I don't want his things to see me. 00:10:56.860 --> 00:11:00.490 align:middle line:90% 00:11:00.490 --> 00:11:01.840 align:middle line:90% "Leave him hanging. 00:11:01.840 --> 00:11:03.040 align:middle line:90% Never call. 00:11:03.040 --> 00:11:04.510 align:middle line:90% His coat is open. 00:11:04.510 --> 00:11:06.910 align:middle line:90% His belt would fall. 00:11:06.910 --> 00:11:11.590 align:middle line:84% These are the actions in hospital, woman, or jail. 00:11:11.590 --> 00:11:15.430 align:middle line:84% When the camel's knees fold, it's the end of poetry. 00:11:15.430 --> 00:11:20.230 align:middle line:90% 00:11:20.230 --> 00:11:24.670 align:middle line:84% "Hope-wired to the purple tulip in my heart, 00:11:24.670 --> 00:11:28.780 align:middle line:84% I should meet and not hate this heavier knowledge of terminal 00:11:28.780 --> 00:11:30.130 align:middle line:90% days. 00:11:30.130 --> 00:11:34.210 align:middle line:84% Let out my mind like mist over the treetops, 00:11:34.210 --> 00:11:37.720 align:middle line:84% poetic stitch with little dots to punch 00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:41.440 align:middle line:84% on either side of space and twigs. 00:11:41.440 --> 00:11:45.700 align:middle line:84% Summer bunting made out of nothing but relationships. 00:11:45.700 --> 00:11:49.990 align:middle line:90% 00:11:49.990 --> 00:11:54.070 align:middle line:84% "The shadow is an angel of a maybe. 00:11:54.070 --> 00:11:57.400 align:middle line:84% It travels like river water on streets in the city, 00:11:57.400 --> 00:12:01.300 align:middle line:84% as much as wherever things are pretty. 00:12:01.300 --> 00:12:03.670 align:middle line:84% I wish I could get it off of me or out. 00:12:03.670 --> 00:12:08.050 align:middle line:84% It's unbelievable the way it doesn't see but feels me. 00:12:08.050 --> 00:12:10.210 align:middle line:90% Maybe this is addiction. 00:12:10.210 --> 00:12:12.010 align:middle line:90% Maybe a salvaging. 00:12:12.010 --> 00:12:16.420 align:middle line:84% Maybe I'm shedding my skin or yours, cold-covered skin 00:12:16.420 --> 00:12:19.210 align:middle line:90% trying to warm. 00:12:19.210 --> 00:12:22.210 align:middle line:84% Maybe the angel is almost airborne, 00:12:22.210 --> 00:12:27.400 align:middle line:84% a woman who survived starvation because her blood was so thin. 00:12:27.400 --> 00:12:30.040 align:middle line:84% I don't mean to be depressing, but I 00:12:30.040 --> 00:12:33.962 align:middle line:84% wanted to haul and wrap you like a nibbled shark-white kin 00:12:33.962 --> 00:12:35.590 align:middle line:90% of mine. 00:12:35.590 --> 00:12:39.310 align:middle line:84% You flailed your way back into the engine. 00:12:39.310 --> 00:12:41.230 align:middle line:90% Don't you know what you've done? 00:12:41.230 --> 00:12:43.150 align:middle line:90% That was a soul you injured. 00:12:43.150 --> 00:12:45.370 align:middle line:90% It's now beyond weakness. 00:12:45.370 --> 00:12:46.540 align:middle line:90% It's adaptable. 00:12:46.540 --> 00:12:51.400 align:middle line:90% 00:12:51.400 --> 00:12:53.800 align:middle line:90% "Heart pressed in the book-- 00:12:53.800 --> 00:12:59.080 align:middle line:84% ink its hard horrid wordstain, engraved as a tulip. 00:12:59.080 --> 00:13:02.020 align:middle line:84% This heart cultivates resistance, 00:13:02.020 --> 00:13:04.090 align:middle line:90% a culture of powerful worms. 00:13:04.090 --> 00:13:08.020 align:middle line:90% 00:13:08.020 --> 00:13:10.180 align:middle line:84% "And the transverberation, your heart 00:13:10.180 --> 00:13:14.890 align:middle line:84% is pierced with such a piercing, you leave the sphere of doubt. 00:13:14.890 --> 00:13:16.270 align:middle line:90% Take heart. 00:13:16.270 --> 00:13:17.080 align:middle line:90% Lose heart. 00:13:17.080 --> 00:13:20.250 align:middle line:90% 00:13:20.250 --> 00:13:25.170 align:middle line:84% "Your heart is your tongue and the sweet jam that loves it. 00:13:25.170 --> 00:13:28.800 align:middle line:84% Your heart is your shoe, your place on the sod. 00:13:28.800 --> 00:13:32.500 align:middle line:84% Your heart is your baby cribbed in your ribs. 00:13:32.500 --> 00:13:35.940 align:middle line:84% Your heart is a tumor with a tulip sign on it. 00:13:35.940 --> 00:13:38.890 align:middle line:90% Your heart is your brain. 00:13:38.890 --> 00:13:42.210 align:middle line:84% Your heart is a troubadour singing to wood. 00:13:42.210 --> 00:13:45.390 align:middle line:84% Your heart is a camel plodding along. 00:13:45.390 --> 00:13:48.690 align:middle line:84% Your heart is your ring that was reddish brown. 00:13:48.690 --> 00:13:52.200 align:middle line:84% Your heart is your sex and your mouth next to burning. 00:13:52.200 --> 00:13:55.590 align:middle line:84% Your heart is my heart that trails you in death 00:13:55.590 --> 00:14:00.585 align:middle line:84% and guides me to the bird, a heart named Only One Song. 00:14:00.585 --> 00:14:05.270 align:middle line:90% 00:14:05.270 --> 00:14:07.700 align:middle line:84% "She put her hand inside of his and they 00:14:07.700 --> 00:14:11.120 align:middle line:90% held on, two wings on a bird. 00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:15.530 align:middle line:84% Then he let go, willing to sacrifice to a little nest 00:14:15.530 --> 00:14:18.800 align:middle line:90% at a higher position. 00:14:18.800 --> 00:14:21.410 align:middle line:84% Give me a bucket full of colors and not 00:14:21.410 --> 00:14:25.190 align:middle line:90% this melancholy gray memory. 00:14:25.190 --> 00:14:28.400 align:middle line:84% If a goldfinch can pick up a bucket full of water 00:14:28.400 --> 00:14:32.660 align:middle line:84% with a tiny stream, her mind can lift her hope again. 00:14:32.660 --> 00:14:37.230 align:middle line:90% 00:14:37.230 --> 00:14:39.990 align:middle line:84% "Shiny light that lives inside the skin-- 00:14:39.990 --> 00:14:42.960 align:middle line:84% shining, always shining and the rain. 00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:47.730 align:middle line:84% An umbrella in the hall corner signifies her brother's dream. 00:14:47.730 --> 00:14:50.880 align:middle line:84% He sleeps on the floor under his raincoat 00:14:50.880 --> 00:14:52.590 align:middle line:90% while the dog's tail thumps. 00:14:52.590 --> 00:14:56.380 align:middle line:90% 00:14:56.380 --> 00:14:59.380 align:middle line:90% "Her ghost batted at the glass. 00:14:59.380 --> 00:15:03.340 align:middle line:84% She didn't understand it wasn't her corporeal self 00:15:03.340 --> 00:15:07.810 align:middle line:84% but her numinous inner body that he had pinned to his chest 00:15:07.810 --> 00:15:12.490 align:middle line:84% and the wires pulled on his skin whenever he turned in bed-- 00:15:12.490 --> 00:15:15.220 align:middle line:84% the stains on the palms of his hands red. 00:15:15.220 --> 00:15:18.880 align:middle line:90% 00:15:18.880 --> 00:15:21.670 align:middle line:84% "The knees tremble, but she touched the veins 00:15:21.670 --> 00:15:24.970 align:middle line:84% and pulled the skin on that heart expansion. 00:15:24.970 --> 00:15:27.400 align:middle line:84% His little wounds, his dirty fingernails, 00:15:27.400 --> 00:15:31.570 align:middle line:84% the beard he wouldn't clean, and frayed hems, the sunset cheeks 00:15:31.570 --> 00:15:34.360 align:middle line:84% and sweet skin, smoke in his hair, 00:15:34.360 --> 00:15:37.570 align:middle line:90% himself naked as a movie screen. 00:15:37.570 --> 00:15:41.590 align:middle line:84% Get out of this morass, poverty of spirit. 00:15:41.590 --> 00:15:42.640 align:middle line:90% She can't. 00:15:42.640 --> 00:15:44.170 align:middle line:90% Who names you but your teacher? 00:15:44.170 --> 00:15:49.150 align:middle line:90% 00:15:49.150 --> 00:15:52.780 align:middle line:84% "The family ended in convulsion of overeating. 00:15:52.780 --> 00:15:55.120 align:middle line:90% Then began the new fasting-- 00:15:55.120 --> 00:15:58.180 align:middle line:84% love everlasting as a vow of sex, 00:15:58.180 --> 00:16:01.090 align:middle line:90% home abandoned for revenge. 00:16:01.090 --> 00:16:05.200 align:middle line:84% The children orphaned until each dirty boy with rough nails 00:16:05.200 --> 00:16:08.350 align:middle line:84% and wrists as soft as a girl's became 00:16:08.350 --> 00:16:12.670 align:middle line:90% a man both rude and prudish. 00:16:12.670 --> 00:16:15.610 align:middle line:84% The sisters wrote about this, but only one of them 00:16:15.610 --> 00:16:18.310 align:middle line:84% never put quote marks around the word "love." 00:16:18.310 --> 00:16:22.580 align:middle line:90% 00:16:22.580 --> 00:16:26.420 align:middle line:84% "He went astray, his pen tossed down into a well 00:16:26.420 --> 00:16:28.970 align:middle line:90% with a little stone splash. 00:16:28.970 --> 00:16:31.910 align:middle line:84% A bottle of bitters became his system, 00:16:31.910 --> 00:16:34.730 align:middle line:84% killing others who died unwillingly while he 00:16:34.730 --> 00:16:37.970 align:middle line:90% was killing himself for fun. 00:16:37.970 --> 00:16:41.720 align:middle line:84% Every day was unday for this one. 00:16:41.720 --> 00:16:44.060 align:middle line:84% There were no words but winter nothingness 00:16:44.060 --> 00:16:46.640 align:middle line:84% between piles of loving embraces, 00:16:46.640 --> 00:16:48.550 align:middle line:90% his legs curled in fear. 00:16:48.550 --> 00:16:51.200 align:middle line:90% 00:16:51.200 --> 00:16:54.410 align:middle line:84% "The wind drops when the sun sets. 00:16:54.410 --> 00:16:57.710 align:middle line:84% A yellow cottage, a ceiling like curd. 00:16:57.710 --> 00:17:01.130 align:middle line:90% The west steps into starriness-- 00:17:01.130 --> 00:17:04.760 align:middle line:84% no comforter, no hand to draw her own. 00:17:04.760 --> 00:17:09.079 align:middle line:84% She hesitates, stiff at the lintel, gone again. 00:17:09.079 --> 00:17:12.060 align:middle line:90% 00:17:12.060 --> 00:17:17.400 align:middle line:84% "Left bereft by her/himself but not died out to anyone yet. 00:17:17.400 --> 00:17:19.890 align:middle line:84% The winter skies are rough on wires, 00:17:19.890 --> 00:17:22.410 align:middle line:84% scratching on this twelfth night. 00:17:22.410 --> 00:17:27.060 align:middle line:84% Somewhere, he's not crawling, near or far before or behind. 00:17:27.060 --> 00:17:31.800 align:middle line:84% The erected cities await the turning since the dead precede 00:17:31.800 --> 00:17:34.095 align:middle line:84% the living and also the becoming. 00:17:34.095 --> 00:17:38.240 align:middle line:90% 00:17:38.240 --> 00:17:40.690 align:middle line:90% "Snow-moss silvers the trees. 00:17:40.690 --> 00:17:43.910 align:middle line:84% Its tent is cold the way it sinks into a milk 00:17:43.910 --> 00:17:48.110 align:middle line:84% and then joins a pallid scrim over the skyline. 00:17:48.110 --> 00:17:51.440 align:middle line:84% Why does a heart wear its eyes into hell 00:17:51.440 --> 00:17:54.980 align:middle line:84% like slivers of full sunshine The rented 00:17:54.980 --> 00:17:58.265 align:middle line:84% wall, the human back, heaving at the edge of the bed. 00:17:58.265 --> 00:18:03.230 align:middle line:90% 00:18:03.230 --> 00:18:05.870 align:middle line:90% "The spirit cried, "Here I am!" 00:18:05.870 --> 00:18:08.960 align:middle line:84% standing with her hands held up to greet him. 00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:11.330 align:middle line:90% "Don't you see me?" 00:18:11.330 --> 00:18:13.490 align:middle line:84% Her brother turned his back and put her 00:18:13.490 --> 00:18:17.660 align:middle line:84% in the past, blank world of the unable-to-have. 00:18:17.660 --> 00:18:22.160 align:middle line:84% But her little fists pounded out the ice cold tally. 00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:24.340 align:middle line:90% All will be well, if only. 00:18:24.340 --> 00:18:28.460 align:middle line:90% 00:18:28.460 --> 00:18:31.100 align:middle line:84% "One angel's efforts to cross the pond 00:18:31.100 --> 00:18:33.290 align:middle line:84% were long-limbed, winged in foam, 00:18:33.290 --> 00:18:36.590 align:middle line:84% loved before, guided and ruined many, 00:18:36.590 --> 00:18:41.150 align:middle line:84% with a salt-slinging bow to history which stings, martyrs, 00:18:41.150 --> 00:18:42.590 align:middle line:90% and burns. 00:18:42.590 --> 00:18:44.420 align:middle line:90% He didn't feel me. 00:18:44.420 --> 00:18:46.910 align:middle line:84% I hate, therefore, the word "prayer" 00:18:46.910 --> 00:18:49.310 align:middle line:90% since every word is one. 00:18:49.310 --> 00:18:53.780 align:middle line:84% The angels must be laughing at paper, crouched to examine 00:18:53.780 --> 00:18:57.645 align:middle line:84% the pink flower, petals bending over a thorn and pen. 00:18:57.645 --> 00:19:01.490 align:middle line:90% 00:19:01.490 --> 00:19:04.610 align:middle line:84% "In this grove, there is only one patient. 00:19:04.610 --> 00:19:09.140 align:middle line:84% His heart, like a berry, bleeds an aura onto ice-white sheets, 00:19:09.140 --> 00:19:12.440 align:middle line:90% his eyes glassy, his chest cold. 00:19:12.440 --> 00:19:14.750 align:middle line:90% Even his tongue is cold. 00:19:14.750 --> 00:19:18.710 align:middle line:84% He has eaten so much meat, the beasts feel an affinity 00:19:18.710 --> 00:19:21.260 align:middle line:84% and lick him where his heart is spilling. 00:19:21.260 --> 00:19:23.720 align:middle line:90% His eyes are lifted. 00:19:23.720 --> 00:19:25.670 align:middle line:84% Nobody knows she is following him, 00:19:25.670 --> 00:19:27.740 align:middle line:84% but he has left the light on for her. 00:19:27.740 --> 00:19:31.790 align:middle line:84% She follows the imprint of his womanly feet. 00:19:31.790 --> 00:19:36.080 align:middle line:84% "Homeless, he depends on his own arm to cover him with his coat 00:19:36.080 --> 00:19:37.790 align:middle line:90% by closing it. 00:19:37.790 --> 00:19:40.730 align:middle line:84% Outside, the wind chill has brought the temperature down 00:19:40.730 --> 00:19:42.350 align:middle line:90% below zero. 00:19:42.350 --> 00:19:45.290 align:middle line:84% His sisters wait at the night gate. 00:19:45.290 --> 00:19:49.130 align:middle line:84% One has eaten raspberries from the patient's mouth the other 00:19:49.130 --> 00:19:51.860 align:middle line:90% is drinking the milky air. 00:19:51.860 --> 00:19:55.310 align:middle line:84% "I was looking for you in some arcades." 00:19:55.310 --> 00:19:59.240 align:middle line:84% The sky is merciful, a Virgin Universe. 00:19:59.240 --> 00:20:03.830 align:middle line:84% He has a thorn on his brow, as if he's a unicorn, or Cain, 00:20:03.830 --> 00:20:06.320 align:middle line:90% the woundable one. 00:20:06.320 --> 00:20:09.080 align:middle line:90% "Hand bells ring. 00:20:09.080 --> 00:20:11.630 align:middle line:84% "Whose voice is this who laid to rest 00:20:11.630 --> 00:20:14.660 align:middle line:90% the fear of being abandoned?" 00:20:14.660 --> 00:20:18.590 align:middle line:84% He opens his johnny to show her the evidence. 00:20:18.590 --> 00:20:22.010 align:middle line:84% How does she know it is him when his throat and lips exist 00:20:22.010 --> 00:20:24.050 align:middle line:90% somewhere else? 00:20:24.050 --> 00:20:29.210 align:middle line:84% He might as well be a sleeping drunk in a war lobby or bar. 00:20:29.210 --> 00:20:31.850 align:middle line:84% Up above, all is calm, All is clear. 00:20:31.850 --> 00:20:34.730 align:middle line:84% It came upon a night at midnight clear. 00:20:34.730 --> 00:20:37.610 align:middle line:84% The sound of one voice speaking into some holes 00:20:37.610 --> 00:20:39.770 align:middle line:90% and coated wire. 00:20:39.770 --> 00:20:43.190 align:middle line:84% "Oh shouts of stony light across the desert! 00:20:43.190 --> 00:20:46.400 align:middle line:84% A donkey's nostrils blow white air. 00:20:46.400 --> 00:20:50.120 align:middle line:84% One hand freezing, one hand open, all her senses 00:20:50.120 --> 00:20:52.640 align:middle line:90% coiled around the telephone. 00:20:52.640 --> 00:20:55.250 align:middle line:84% "I want to call someone, please." 00:20:55.250 --> 00:20:58.010 align:middle line:84% She is informed the line is free. 00:20:58.010 --> 00:21:00.410 align:middle line:84% Now she could hear his laughter echo 00:21:00.410 --> 00:21:02.750 align:middle line:90% through the plastic handset. 00:21:02.750 --> 00:21:05.750 align:middle line:84% Or is it a hand banging a stone against 00:21:05.750 --> 00:21:07.670 align:middle line:90% a tongueless Celtic bell? 00:21:07.670 --> 00:21:11.000 align:middle line:90% 00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:12.770 align:middle line:90% "I watched him disappear. 00:21:12.770 --> 00:21:14.960 align:middle line:84% This was the first station, the one where you 00:21:14.960 --> 00:21:17.390 align:middle line:90% can't believe what's happening. 00:21:17.390 --> 00:21:20.210 align:middle line:84% At first the sun shone like a dime and cinders 00:21:20.210 --> 00:21:24.170 align:middle line:84% wouldn't stop falling until the last one flew up. 00:21:24.170 --> 00:21:27.110 align:middle line:84% Eyes cleared the lights through thin branches, brittle 00:21:27.110 --> 00:21:28.640 align:middle line:90% and burden. 00:21:28.640 --> 00:21:32.600 align:middle line:84% Red spots on ice, dirt spots, ashes 00:21:32.600 --> 00:21:35.480 align:middle line:84% like feathers from seed-eating birds 00:21:35.480 --> 00:21:39.740 align:middle line:90% who fly close to the ground. 00:21:39.740 --> 00:21:44.810 align:middle line:84% Across the harrowing span, a pond would be ice and rough. 00:21:44.810 --> 00:21:46.955 align:middle line:84% Like to die might be nice enough. 00:21:46.955 --> 00:21:49.950 align:middle line:90% 00:21:49.950 --> 00:21:54.270 align:middle line:84% "His wings were a whole-cloth first, folded around his chest. 00:21:54.270 --> 00:21:58.200 align:middle line:84% So it hurt to rip apart this revolutionary red breast 00:21:58.200 --> 00:22:01.560 align:middle line:90% and make him spread and fly. 00:22:01.560 --> 00:22:05.520 align:middle line:84% All his singing actually was a cry of protest. 00:22:05.520 --> 00:22:06.780 align:middle line:90% Have lived! 00:22:06.780 --> 00:22:07.740 align:middle line:90% Not this! 00:22:07.740 --> 00:22:08.310 align:middle line:90% Have died! 00:22:08.310 --> 00:22:12.130 align:middle line:90% 00:22:12.130 --> 00:22:15.640 align:middle line:84% "The stations of my humiliation traveled from telephone 00:22:15.640 --> 00:22:18.070 align:middle line:90% to telephone machine. 00:22:18.070 --> 00:22:20.680 align:middle line:84% Then I hit a knob and lost every message 00:22:20.680 --> 00:22:23.530 align:middle line:90% to an illuminated blackness. 00:22:23.530 --> 00:22:26.410 align:middle line:84% A prayer reminds me of a telephone call. 00:22:26.410 --> 00:22:30.730 align:middle line:84% It represents the way the end of things is on the ground. 00:22:30.730 --> 00:22:33.580 align:middle line:84% The rain comes whenever it will because it's dark 00:22:33.580 --> 00:22:35.800 align:middle line:90% where the mountains mother. 00:22:35.800 --> 00:22:40.600 align:middle line:84% And being stuck in one spot is something to ring bells about, 00:22:40.600 --> 00:22:44.830 align:middle line:84% while the white goose travels thousands of nautical miles 00:22:44.830 --> 00:22:46.645 align:middle line:90% with one map and partner. 00:22:46.645 --> 00:22:50.890 align:middle line:90% 00:22:50.890 --> 00:22:53.500 align:middle line:84% "I am giving you the most wonderful present one 00:22:53.500 --> 00:22:55.660 align:middle line:90% memory can give another-- 00:22:55.660 --> 00:23:02.600 align:middle line:84% a bridge of illusions, or snow as hard as the hood of a car. 00:23:02.600 --> 00:23:04.750 align:middle line:84% Some people are radiators even when 00:23:04.750 --> 00:23:07.810 align:middle line:90% their skin is thin and cold. 00:23:07.810 --> 00:23:10.210 align:middle line:84% Often they are drunk on memories. 00:23:10.210 --> 00:23:13.090 align:middle line:84% He, for one, carried a red bag by a string 00:23:13.090 --> 00:23:17.890 align:middle line:84% to remember socialism when he had no person to care for him. 00:23:17.890 --> 00:23:21.070 align:middle line:84% On his beat he went from ice to heated place, 00:23:21.070 --> 00:23:24.760 align:middle line:84% warming up the short space between lip and cup. 00:23:24.760 --> 00:23:27.360 align:middle line:90% 00:23:27.360 --> 00:23:31.590 align:middle line:84% "To die for love, to die of love, to die in love, 00:23:31.590 --> 00:23:36.450 align:middle line:84% to die with love, to die over love, to die without love, 00:23:36.450 --> 00:23:41.220 align:middle line:84% to die to love, to die in the mine 00:23:41.220 --> 00:23:45.870 align:middle line:84% and be a "mine" in the arms of someone's chest wound. 00:23:45.870 --> 00:23:47.805 align:middle line:90% Here I will die of the above. 00:23:47.805 --> 00:23:51.750 align:middle line:90% 00:23:51.750 --> 00:23:55.050 align:middle line:84% "Some call it a desert, though it's wet on the palate. 00:23:55.050 --> 00:23:58.320 align:middle line:84% Spiritual dryness makes reptile faces. 00:23:58.320 --> 00:24:02.010 align:middle line:84% The scourge of vinegar, bad wine, bad guts, 00:24:02.010 --> 00:24:05.730 align:middle line:84% who was laughed at and cut and packed into a paddy wagon 00:24:05.730 --> 00:24:07.890 align:middle line:90% driven along the riverbank. 00:24:07.890 --> 00:24:11.490 align:middle line:84% And Officer Judas shouting, "Lock him up!" 00:24:11.490 --> 00:24:15.390 align:middle line:84% This was after he'd exited the Mystic River Bridge 00:24:15.390 --> 00:24:18.090 align:middle line:84% and before either of us was dead. 00:24:18.090 --> 00:24:21.030 align:middle line:84% He said, "Put on your silks and follow me." 00:24:21.030 --> 00:24:23.900 align:middle line:90% 00:24:23.900 --> 00:24:25.790 align:middle line:90% "Blood rust on the cement. 00:24:25.790 --> 00:24:27.890 align:middle line:90% Cold, dimpled cement. 00:24:27.890 --> 00:24:29.900 align:middle line:90% Rend your heart like your coat. 00:24:29.900 --> 00:24:33.770 align:middle line:84% Pull the lapels apart and show us the gash. 00:24:33.770 --> 00:24:36.050 align:middle line:90% Light flattening, I forget. 00:24:36.050 --> 00:24:41.210 align:middle line:84% The belly's web and legs of a spirit-infested thing. 00:24:41.210 --> 00:24:43.220 align:middle line:90% I wear a single cross-beam. 00:24:43.220 --> 00:24:46.460 align:middle line:84% I keep forgetting, like my own exhaustion. 00:24:46.460 --> 00:24:48.950 align:middle line:84% She's been hardened by a hard life 00:24:48.950 --> 00:24:51.410 align:middle line:84% in public housing, where the rich keep 00:24:51.410 --> 00:24:53.810 align:middle line:90% the poor that rob them. 00:24:53.810 --> 00:24:55.865 align:middle line:84% Unfortunate girl, always laughing. 00:24:55.865 --> 00:24:59.740 align:middle line:90% 00:24:59.740 --> 00:25:02.620 align:middle line:84% "His legs were long and thin, his knees bent 00:25:02.620 --> 00:25:04.090 align:middle line:90% and feet crossed. 00:25:04.090 --> 00:25:07.630 align:middle line:84% I remember him stroking each one automatically. 00:25:07.630 --> 00:25:09.440 align:middle line:90% Soon he would be nailed. 00:25:09.440 --> 00:25:11.980 align:middle line:90% Agony, he begged. 00:25:11.980 --> 00:25:16.120 align:middle line:84% The temptation to suffer is a big quiet one, the kind that 00:25:16.120 --> 00:25:19.540 align:middle line:90% is generated by repetition. 00:25:19.540 --> 00:25:22.270 align:middle line:84% He got good at sleeping outside the same doors 00:25:22.270 --> 00:25:25.210 align:middle line:84% and staring into the eyes of drivers-by, 00:25:25.210 --> 00:25:27.760 align:middle line:84% his empty pockets were stuffed with their glances. 00:25:27.760 --> 00:25:30.610 align:middle line:90% 00:25:30.610 --> 00:25:34.240 align:middle line:84% "Rain and wind from the East River to the blood red facade 00:25:34.240 --> 00:25:35.920 align:middle line:90% of St Veronica's. 00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:39.310 align:middle line:90% Two hands clasped in a car. 00:25:39.310 --> 00:25:42.070 align:middle line:90% Not an inauspicious start. 00:25:42.070 --> 00:25:45.100 align:middle line:84% The window panes a metaphor, not a force. 00:25:45.100 --> 00:25:48.530 align:middle line:84% But it won't let me have anything I want. 00:25:48.530 --> 00:25:53.200 align:middle line:84% So what is the relationship between time and the soul? 00:25:53.200 --> 00:25:56.860 align:middle line:90% Time has no temperature either. 00:25:56.860 --> 00:25:59.530 align:middle line:84% He slept on a plank, his blanket was air. 00:25:59.530 --> 00:26:01.870 align:middle line:84% He said he had never slept better. 00:26:01.870 --> 00:26:05.500 align:middle line:90% We must die together. 00:26:05.500 --> 00:26:07.660 align:middle line:84% "Then I'll bear the torch and the needle. 00:26:07.660 --> 00:26:09.880 align:middle line:90% I'll carry and marry the ashes. 00:26:09.880 --> 00:26:11.380 align:middle line:90% They will be mine. 00:26:11.380 --> 00:26:14.440 align:middle line:84% I will be the main mourner, though no one will see me. 00:26:14.440 --> 00:26:18.635 align:middle line:84% I'll know why he died and what was the reason flowers attract 00:26:18.635 --> 00:26:19.135 align:middle line:90% scissors. 00:26:19.135 --> 00:26:23.020 align:middle line:90% 00:26:23.020 --> 00:26:26.620 align:middle line:84% "A decent soul comes in rum-red colors. 00:26:26.620 --> 00:26:28.090 align:middle line:90% It's a floating shadow-- 00:26:28.090 --> 00:26:31.090 align:middle line:84% not water or air, but something nearly solid, 00:26:31.090 --> 00:26:33.700 align:middle line:90% a hint of cinnamon and bark. 00:26:33.700 --> 00:26:35.980 align:middle line:84% And some people know how to circle their lips 00:26:35.980 --> 00:26:38.980 align:middle line:84% around the mouth and suck the soul away just 00:26:38.980 --> 00:26:41.500 align:middle line:84% by leaning close, taking hold and tossing 00:26:41.500 --> 00:26:44.080 align:middle line:90% their legs around the person. 00:26:44.080 --> 00:26:47.590 align:middle line:84% You have to care for your soul because time is transparent 00:26:47.590 --> 00:26:52.600 align:middle line:84% and slides between you and your soul when someone else has it. 00:26:52.600 --> 00:26:55.460 align:middle line:84% He is sipping my own, a binge of memories 00:26:55.460 --> 00:26:57.430 align:middle line:90% the color of raw sugar. 00:26:57.430 --> 00:26:59.695 align:middle line:84% It tastes delicious with the past. 00:26:59.695 --> 00:27:03.280 align:middle line:90% 00:27:03.280 --> 00:27:04.060 align:middle line:90% "I left him. 00:27:04.060 --> 00:27:04.900 align:middle line:90% I lost him. 00:27:04.900 --> 00:27:06.070 align:middle line:90% Gone. 00:27:06.070 --> 00:27:10.330 align:middle line:84% The named person, the tall brother, untamed and shaken. 00:27:10.330 --> 00:27:13.450 align:middle line:84% We forgot to make plans for this eventuality. 00:27:13.450 --> 00:27:15.310 align:middle line:90% No numbers or papers. 00:27:15.310 --> 00:27:17.710 align:middle line:84% I forgot to take the vital information 00:27:17.710 --> 00:27:21.460 align:middle line:84% from his raincoat pocket since there was none-- 00:27:21.460 --> 00:27:22.750 align:middle line:90% only stray ends. 00:27:22.750 --> 00:27:26.280 align:middle line:90% 00:27:26.280 --> 00:27:29.310 align:middle line:84% "The chest of a robin, reddened, inedible, 00:27:29.310 --> 00:27:31.800 align:middle line:84% like the thorn blood of Jesus on the mouth 00:27:31.800 --> 00:27:36.210 align:middle line:84% where Judas kissed it and made him into merchandise. 00:27:36.210 --> 00:27:40.530 align:middle line:84% The fallen angels folded their dirty wings across their chest 00:27:40.530 --> 00:27:43.590 align:middle line:84% and lowered their heads to peck for oil, 00:27:43.590 --> 00:27:44.985 align:middle line:90% as if they didn't notice. 00:27:44.985 --> 00:27:47.880 align:middle line:90% 00:27:47.880 --> 00:27:50.700 align:middle line:84% "To the western wing of the Mayo Clinic, 00:27:50.700 --> 00:27:53.520 align:middle line:84% she traveled to keep his back warm. 00:27:53.520 --> 00:27:56.250 align:middle line:84% Automatically, he raised the blanket. 00:27:56.250 --> 00:27:58.020 align:middle line:90% Useless jealously. 00:27:58.020 --> 00:27:59.910 align:middle line:84% Either you're loved or you aren't. 00:27:59.910 --> 00:28:03.230 align:middle line:90% 00:28:03.230 --> 00:28:07.220 align:middle line:84% "Skin icy, nipples bit, the little scrabbles and scores. 00:28:07.220 --> 00:28:09.080 align:middle line:90% His gums are sour grapes. 00:28:09.080 --> 00:28:12.110 align:middle line:84% And those whom he speaks to clench their teeth. 00:28:12.110 --> 00:28:14.850 align:middle line:84% The plank in his eye is now on his back. 00:28:14.850 --> 00:28:17.690 align:middle line:84% It's awful the way he knows his mother waits and weeps 00:28:17.690 --> 00:28:19.460 align:middle line:90% and it doesn't turn him. 00:28:19.460 --> 00:28:21.920 align:middle line:84% Pain waves over the second station. 00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:25.280 align:middle line:84% Women walk on the third through the 10th stations, 00:28:25.280 --> 00:28:29.030 align:middle line:84% ground into light under the steam and steel, their keening 00:28:29.030 --> 00:28:31.700 align:middle line:90% like inexact wheels. 00:28:31.700 --> 00:28:33.620 align:middle line:90% "Pain is the body's grinding. 00:28:33.620 --> 00:28:36.200 align:middle line:84% Pain sticks to the human brain the way 00:28:36.200 --> 00:28:38.930 align:middle line:90% pollen sticks to a stamen. 00:28:38.930 --> 00:28:40.820 align:middle line:84% If you watch the man disappearing, 00:28:40.820 --> 00:28:43.790 align:middle line:84% carrying his plank, you see dry splinters 00:28:43.790 --> 00:28:46.580 align:middle line:84% in the beginning, then just a cruciform 00:28:46.580 --> 00:28:50.450 align:middle line:84% as insignificant as a broken-winged bird walking 00:28:50.450 --> 00:28:51.260 align:middle line:90% through a pit. 00:28:51.260 --> 00:28:55.010 align:middle line:90% 00:28:55.010 --> 00:28:56.490 align:middle line:90% "He swallowed my soul. 00:28:56.490 --> 00:28:58.610 align:middle line:90% So now I know soul is physical. 00:28:58.610 --> 00:29:00.550 align:middle line:90% This was a test. 00:29:00.550 --> 00:29:03.200 align:middle line:84% So can be stolen by a human kiss. 00:29:03.200 --> 00:29:06.650 align:middle line:84% A portion of soul, I feel it missing. 00:29:06.650 --> 00:29:07.940 align:middle line:90% Can it grow back? 00:29:07.940 --> 00:29:11.300 align:middle line:84% Can it fill in the depression, dark and thin? 00:29:11.300 --> 00:29:13.790 align:middle line:84% An oil proportioned to all skins, 00:29:13.790 --> 00:29:19.500 align:middle line:84% soul now boldly bathing in another's pool. 00:29:19.500 --> 00:29:21.680 align:middle line:90% "Open him up and cut him apart. 00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:24.440 align:middle line:84% Hang him up, bind him with string. 00:29:24.440 --> 00:29:26.720 align:middle line:84% And you won't see him struggling. 00:29:26.720 --> 00:29:28.760 align:middle line:90% All heart, he's lost his will. 00:29:28.760 --> 00:29:30.400 align:middle line:90% Poor thing. 00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:32.420 align:middle line:90% Open him up and close him down. 00:29:32.420 --> 00:29:34.795 align:middle line:90% Let him live, he won't protest. 00:29:34.795 --> 00:29:39.500 align:middle line:84% Winter coats and wet hats will never hang on him again. 00:29:39.500 --> 00:29:42.800 align:middle line:84% Open the door and let him out into the sail-white winter 00:29:42.800 --> 00:29:43.610 align:middle line:90% night-- 00:29:43.610 --> 00:29:47.060 align:middle line:84% unhinged, unwinged, his coat unbuttoned 00:29:47.060 --> 00:29:48.950 align:middle line:90% as he wants, poor thing. 00:29:48.950 --> 00:29:52.600 align:middle line:90% 00:29:52.600 --> 00:29:53.830 align:middle line:90% "He was faithless. 00:29:53.830 --> 00:29:56.950 align:middle line:84% But when it snowed and she had the Weather Channel showing 00:29:56.950 --> 00:30:00.190 align:middle line:84% blizzards where he lived, dread of his habitat 00:30:00.190 --> 00:30:03.010 align:middle line:84% seized her and held her at needlepoint. 00:30:03.010 --> 00:30:05.530 align:middle line:84% His coat was ripped and who would sew it? 00:30:05.530 --> 00:30:08.680 align:middle line:84% Where would he find rest when there was no name for him 00:30:08.680 --> 00:30:10.870 align:middle line:90% at the cage and clinic? 00:30:10.870 --> 00:30:14.470 align:middle line:84% Only a convulsive overhang of wind and snow 00:30:14.470 --> 00:30:19.120 align:middle line:84% splashing across the tarmac and de-icing devices 00:30:19.120 --> 00:30:21.490 align:middle line:90% lifted to his wings, unbuttoned. 00:30:21.490 --> 00:30:24.770 align:middle line:90% 00:30:24.770 --> 00:30:28.430 align:middle line:84% "Stations on the wall fly past with vodka and milk 00:30:28.430 --> 00:30:29.810 align:middle line:90% and a watchtower. 00:30:29.810 --> 00:30:32.420 align:middle line:84% Me and the self-loathing huddled together, 00:30:32.420 --> 00:30:34.970 align:middle line:84% averting our faces from each other. 00:30:34.970 --> 00:30:38.420 align:middle line:84% Time is breathing with us when time is air. 00:30:38.420 --> 00:30:41.510 align:middle line:90% 00:30:41.510 --> 00:30:44.130 align:middle line:84% "They could never have lived their lives together. 00:30:44.130 --> 00:30:45.950 align:middle line:90% But they did. 00:30:45.950 --> 00:30:50.840 align:middle line:84% Decades separated by yards in the same time and town, lost 00:30:50.840 --> 00:30:53.510 align:middle line:90% in probability, never meeting. 00:30:53.510 --> 00:30:57.890 align:middle line:84% Their souls were at source one, but addressed to some, 00:30:57.890 --> 00:31:02.090 align:middle line:90% intended for any, that lonely. 00:31:02.090 --> 00:31:06.800 align:middle line:84% In old age and young, each like to sleep against something. 00:31:06.800 --> 00:31:08.780 align:middle line:90% The outer wall of a cathedral. 00:31:08.780 --> 00:31:11.750 align:middle line:84% The bend of a back, as if whispering, 00:31:11.750 --> 00:31:15.170 align:middle line:84% "Six pennies and infirmity never mentioned these." 00:31:15.170 --> 00:31:19.000 align:middle line:90% 00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:22.900 align:middle line:84% "I went by film to dreary high-rise apartment blocks-- 00:31:22.900 --> 00:31:25.780 align:middle line:84% Christmas lights and small cars wires 00:31:25.780 --> 00:31:28.090 align:middle line:84% still shivered in the air, windows 00:31:28.090 --> 00:31:30.490 align:middle line:90% like empty refrigerators. 00:31:30.490 --> 00:31:34.270 align:middle line:84% The man drove a cab as if he were dragging it. 00:31:34.270 --> 00:31:36.340 align:middle line:84% If you nail some white on a wall, 00:31:36.340 --> 00:31:39.850 align:middle line:84% it turns yellow in time Polar lilies 00:31:39.850 --> 00:31:43.060 align:middle line:90% and the gold spray of pollen. 00:31:43.060 --> 00:31:46.290 align:middle line:84% We invented film to see what we were doing. 00:31:46.290 --> 00:31:52.990 align:middle line:84% 100% here, 100% there, and 100% space between. 00:31:52.990 --> 00:31:55.720 align:middle line:84% In this triad is the whole stable machine. 00:31:55.720 --> 00:31:58.920 align:middle line:90% 00:31:58.920 --> 00:32:01.230 align:middle line:84% "This angel clung to boats and pecked 00:32:01.230 --> 00:32:03.060 align:middle line:90% at workers on their tits. 00:32:03.060 --> 00:32:07.620 align:middle line:84% It pissed and shat on their hair as well as garden tents. 00:32:07.620 --> 00:32:09.660 align:middle line:90% Its song was repetitive. 00:32:09.660 --> 00:32:13.290 align:middle line:84% If the air around it wasn't soft, its feathers were. 00:32:13.290 --> 00:32:16.200 align:middle line:84% It preferred sugar liquor to bread 00:32:16.200 --> 00:32:19.710 align:middle line:84% and was Divine Mother's favorite. 00:32:19.710 --> 00:32:22.845 align:middle line:84% The mystery of preference is never solved by acts. 00:32:22.845 --> 00:32:26.220 align:middle line:90% 00:32:26.220 --> 00:32:30.150 align:middle line:84% "Sisters locked into the clasp of his bare legs without fear. 00:32:30.150 --> 00:32:34.620 align:middle line:84% He lay like John Lennon, all over each one of them. 00:32:34.620 --> 00:32:37.560 align:middle line:84% In those days, they didn't operate on babies 00:32:37.560 --> 00:32:40.080 align:middle line:90% or have too many theories. 00:32:40.080 --> 00:32:43.080 align:middle line:84% Narcissism wasn't on the tongue, though. 00:32:43.080 --> 00:32:46.620 align:middle line:84% Other names for not knowing yourself by your own body 00:32:46.620 --> 00:32:47.490 align:middle line:90% must have been. 00:32:47.490 --> 00:32:50.830 align:middle line:90% 00:32:50.830 --> 00:32:52.930 align:middle line:90% "His father was an angel. 00:32:52.930 --> 00:32:55.240 align:middle line:90% Her mother, man. 00:32:55.240 --> 00:32:58.810 align:middle line:84% The end of his line began with an organ. 00:32:58.810 --> 00:33:01.480 align:middle line:84% She carried her lyrics around in a bag, 00:33:01.480 --> 00:33:04.150 align:middle line:90% along with some shoes and wings. 00:33:04.150 --> 00:33:07.330 align:middle line:84% Left one pair to pretend she was returning. 00:33:07.330 --> 00:33:08.680 align:middle line:90% But how could she? 00:33:08.680 --> 00:33:11.080 align:middle line:84% Love is the movement towards perfection. 00:33:11.080 --> 00:33:13.780 align:middle line:90% 00:33:13.780 --> 00:33:15.220 align:middle line:90% "I was hungry for love. 00:33:15.220 --> 00:33:18.430 align:middle line:84% It was pathetic, the stones I threw or smashed my mouth 00:33:18.430 --> 00:33:21.880 align:middle line:84% on in my pathology of starvation. 00:33:21.880 --> 00:33:24.070 align:middle line:84% This hunger drove me into the vineyards 00:33:24.070 --> 00:33:27.010 align:middle line:84% with their drooping pebble gray fruits. 00:33:27.010 --> 00:33:29.250 align:middle line:84% One mouth opened and sucked out some 00:33:29.250 --> 00:33:32.470 align:middle line:84% of my love, fermented mouth and tongue. 00:33:32.470 --> 00:33:36.970 align:middle line:84% I hung in the tree of that one's torso and bones. 00:33:36.970 --> 00:33:38.830 align:middle line:84% It was the fruit I had been hunting. 00:33:38.830 --> 00:33:41.540 align:middle line:90% 00:33:41.540 --> 00:33:44.930 align:middle line:84% "Not the cat or the worm, not the feather duster, 00:33:44.930 --> 00:33:47.840 align:middle line:84% not the slime, not the fowl or the fish, 00:33:47.840 --> 00:33:49.700 align:middle line:90% not the birds of the air. 00:33:49.700 --> 00:33:51.950 align:middle line:90% None of them has a name. 00:33:51.950 --> 00:33:53.000 align:middle line:90% But amen. 00:33:53.000 --> 00:33:54.425 align:middle line:90% Amen in the dark. 00:33:54.425 --> 00:33:57.550 align:middle line:90% 00:33:57.550 --> 00:34:00.730 align:middle line:84% "On the day I prayed, no one answered me. 00:34:00.730 --> 00:34:03.610 align:middle line:84% On the day I called, you didn't answer me. 00:34:03.610 --> 00:34:07.690 align:middle line:84% All the days I prayed, but there was a dial tone only. 00:34:07.690 --> 00:34:11.110 align:middle line:84% On the day you called, I was away. 00:34:11.110 --> 00:34:12.580 align:middle line:90% No self-pity. 00:34:12.580 --> 00:34:15.070 align:middle line:84% A week was made of six whole days. 00:34:15.070 --> 00:34:17.620 align:middle line:90% Seven was outside of them. 00:34:17.620 --> 00:34:20.949 align:middle line:84% A name, a number, an actual mean. 00:34:20.949 --> 00:34:23.290 align:middle line:90% Our souls need freedom. 00:34:23.290 --> 00:34:27.790 align:middle line:84% Otherwise, price and kill or kiss and sell depend on it. 00:34:27.790 --> 00:34:31.469 align:middle line:90% 00:34:31.469 --> 00:34:33.750 align:middle line:84% "The last image was a misprision. 00:34:33.750 --> 00:34:38.130 align:middle line:84% Black row of bristles and bird-broken snow. 00:34:38.130 --> 00:34:41.760 align:middle line:84% The old way, one pocket for two hands. 00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:44.250 align:middle line:90% A gash on his waterproof skin. 00:34:44.250 --> 00:34:47.280 align:middle line:84% The sole of a shoe open to the snow. 00:34:47.280 --> 00:34:50.070 align:middle line:90% Loss and dishonor. 00:34:50.070 --> 00:34:53.940 align:middle line:84% All this was really a cement apartment block closed 00:34:53.940 --> 00:34:57.660 align:middle line:90% in for the people's dinner. 00:34:57.660 --> 00:34:59.310 align:middle line:90% "He can't get back in. 00:34:59.310 --> 00:35:02.250 align:middle line:90% Terror is what won't let him in. 00:35:02.250 --> 00:35:03.540 align:middle line:90% Terror squared. 00:35:03.540 --> 00:35:04.920 align:middle line:90% Terror circled. 00:35:04.920 --> 00:35:07.260 align:middle line:90% He can't get back in. 00:35:07.260 --> 00:35:09.510 align:middle line:90% Please, Time, make a way. 00:35:09.510 --> 00:35:13.320 align:middle line:84% Only the dead sleep outside the arc of your caravan. 00:35:13.320 --> 00:35:16.370 align:middle line:90% 00:35:16.370 --> 00:35:20.090 align:middle line:84% "Stick, sex, amoeba, outline, back. 00:35:20.090 --> 00:35:23.600 align:middle line:84% Stick, tucked under the other's heart and soil. 00:35:23.600 --> 00:35:25.790 align:middle line:90% Tender and unstuck. 00:35:25.790 --> 00:35:28.280 align:middle line:90% Wander, wander alone. 00:35:28.280 --> 00:35:33.770 align:middle line:84% The larger margin of error, now an aura, silver and slick 00:35:33.770 --> 00:35:34.610 align:middle line:90% as a mirror. 00:35:34.610 --> 00:35:37.400 align:middle line:90% 00:35:37.400 --> 00:35:38.480 align:middle line:90% "He didn't answer. 00:35:38.480 --> 00:35:40.370 align:middle line:90% The market crashed, rebounded. 00:35:40.370 --> 00:35:42.770 align:middle line:90% And the morning doves cooed. 00:35:42.770 --> 00:35:44.540 align:middle line:90% He couldn't answer. 00:35:44.540 --> 00:35:46.820 align:middle line:84% Between my brain and this silence, 00:35:46.820 --> 00:35:49.290 align:middle line:90% time lifted and measured. 00:35:49.290 --> 00:35:51.350 align:middle line:84% There was no more reason to die." 00:35:51.350 --> 00:35:54.130 align:middle line:90% 00:35:54.130 --> 00:35:58.300 align:middle line:84% And then there's a little sort of addendum to that one which 00:35:58.300 --> 00:35:59.590 align:middle line:90% is called the "Shadows." 00:35:59.590 --> 00:36:02.160 align:middle line:90% 00:36:02.160 --> 00:36:06.000 align:middle line:84% "It was still daylight, seeing as the rim of the Earth tended 00:36:06.000 --> 00:36:07.380 align:middle line:90% towards night. 00:36:07.380 --> 00:36:09.570 align:middle line:84% When she said, the Messiah is turning, 00:36:09.570 --> 00:36:14.070 align:middle line:84% let loose the demons from his cloth and redden the ashes, 00:36:14.070 --> 00:36:17.430 align:middle line:90% her psyche was shed. 00:36:17.430 --> 00:36:18.090 align:middle line:90% The wind? 00:36:18.090 --> 00:36:19.390 align:middle line:90% There was no wind. 00:36:19.390 --> 00:36:22.710 align:middle line:84% Unseparated from the one before, but when? 00:36:22.710 --> 00:36:26.070 align:middle line:90% Not beatific, not damned. 00:36:26.070 --> 00:36:29.430 align:middle line:84% A float heavy helium that stirred the world 00:36:29.430 --> 00:36:33.000 align:middle line:90% and its own intentions. 00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:35.070 align:middle line:90% "Time began our limbo tree. 00:36:35.070 --> 00:36:37.170 align:middle line:90% It grew in brooding showers. 00:36:37.170 --> 00:36:40.740 align:middle line:84% Light and snow, spirit in a watering can. 00:36:40.740 --> 00:36:45.330 align:middle line:84% Moisture of soul and verbiage, now soil and vergia. 00:36:45.330 --> 00:36:50.820 align:middle line:84% Plant against chance, the evanescent limb. 00:36:50.820 --> 00:36:55.500 align:middle line:84% Get down on your knees, God, and pray all cruelty, ceasing, 00:36:55.500 --> 00:37:00.360 align:middle line:84% will, before your heart is for rent, or sold. 00:37:00.360 --> 00:37:02.580 align:middle line:84% I know it's your heart by knowing 00:37:02.580 --> 00:37:04.935 align:middle line:90% how it feels inside another. 00:37:04.935 --> 00:37:08.980 align:middle line:90% 00:37:08.980 --> 00:37:12.040 align:middle line:84% "The meat of an angel was chewed over supper, 00:37:12.040 --> 00:37:15.400 align:middle line:84% demonic elements hovered at table center, 00:37:15.400 --> 00:37:20.890 align:middle line:84% cluster of probable beings, unbottled, unacknowledged. 00:37:20.890 --> 00:37:26.590 align:middle line:84% Lust interrupted discharge, a loaf of flesh as good as gone, 00:37:26.590 --> 00:37:29.650 align:middle line:84% is all real stuff inching through limbo's 00:37:29.650 --> 00:37:32.890 align:middle line:90% unfamiliar weather and language. 00:37:32.890 --> 00:37:35.050 align:middle line:90% Two wings, now one. 00:37:35.050 --> 00:37:36.250 align:middle line:90% Space for cloth. 00:37:36.250 --> 00:37:39.180 align:middle line:90% 00:37:39.180 --> 00:37:40.830 align:middle line:90% "He has felt as a feeling. 00:37:40.830 --> 00:37:42.130 align:middle line:90% She feels him. 00:37:42.130 --> 00:37:46.140 align:middle line:84% She doesn't know why he to him being battle-catching mother, 00:37:46.140 --> 00:37:49.290 align:middle line:84% whom she caught at the circulation, still 00:37:49.290 --> 00:37:52.950 align:middle line:84% remembers in her rose-lipped perceptor, love 00:37:52.950 --> 00:37:55.350 align:middle line:90% born or birthing. 00:37:55.350 --> 00:37:57.090 align:middle line:90% There is something between them. 00:37:57.090 --> 00:38:00.540 align:middle line:84% It climbs color like the shades of pain, 00:38:00.540 --> 00:38:05.820 align:middle line:84% describing their skins like a map's edge of ocean. 00:38:05.820 --> 00:38:08.700 align:middle line:90% It laps the purr to him. 00:38:08.700 --> 00:38:11.370 align:middle line:90% They do feel that third person." 00:38:11.370 --> 00:38:12.870 align:middle line:90% And that's it. 00:38:12.870 --> 00:38:13.770 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 00:38:13.770 --> 00:38:17.120 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:38:17.120 --> 00:38:26.000 align:middle line:90%