WEBVTT

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If there are any
teachers in the audience,

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you will know about the
end-of-semester evaluations

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that we all get and
how most of them

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are obviously written by
people who were in the class.

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But there are always
a few that you wonder,

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oh, was that person
actually there?

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Did that person
actually meet me?

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So in thinking about
that, this poem came out.

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It is called "Student Evaluation
of Instruction, Obituary

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Edition".

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So this would be the
obituary my students would

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write in lieu of their
end-of-semester evaluation.

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Dr. Hoppler, with two
P's, has bees for teeth.

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His head was their ring hive.

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Dr. Heppler was haunted
by the dogs he'd owned.

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He talked about them often
and in distracted tones.

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Dr. Hopper loved the words
"oink" and "hootenanny".

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He hated the word "breast".

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Dr. Holper made sad pelts
grow back their animals.

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[LAUGHTER]

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Dr. Hippler pitched
a natural sinker.

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This is true.

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This is beyond doubt.

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Dr. Hollier swallowed
the head of a swan.

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And the swan's head grew
inside him until it was so big.

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The swan's head
replaced his own head,

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and this was how he spoke.

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Dr. Hoper loved his wife,
his wife his ocean was,

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and his mountain range
spent in blue gentian.

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Dr. Hooper was a poet.

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I did not know it.

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Just kidding, Dr. J. You rock.

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Give this man a raise.

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[LAUGHTER]

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And I'll tell you, I made up
all of them except the last one.

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That last one was a real one.

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I do thank the
gentleman for that.

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That was very cool.

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