WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.510 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.510 --> 00:00:06.480 align:middle line:84% This one is called "Home for my Blankety Blanked Birthday." 00:00:06.480 --> 00:00:09.630 align:middle line:84% "Today, in honor of my blankety blanked birthday, 00:00:09.630 --> 00:00:15.300 align:middle line:84% I put on my new pink, low-rise corduroy flares. 00:00:15.300 --> 00:00:19.620 align:middle line:84% Today, in honor of my blankety blanked birthday, 00:00:19.620 --> 00:00:22.350 align:middle line:84% Augie and Lyana, my widowed minnows, 00:00:22.350 --> 00:00:25.620 align:middle line:90% swam synchronized naps. 00:00:25.620 --> 00:00:28.710 align:middle line:84% Today, in honor of my blankety blanked birthday, 00:00:28.710 --> 00:00:32.820 align:middle line:84% I changed the sheet on my bed from baby blue to red, 00:00:32.820 --> 00:00:34.950 align:middle line:90% to red, to red. 00:00:34.950 --> 00:00:37.890 align:middle line:84% Today, in honor of my blankety blanked birth, 00:00:37.890 --> 00:00:41.490 align:middle line:84% I watched Bob Woodruff, who I slept with once or twice 00:00:41.490 --> 00:00:47.370 align:middle line:84% in 1986, report from Islamabad for ABC. 00:00:47.370 --> 00:00:49.120 align:middle line:90% He still looked good. 00:00:49.120 --> 00:00:51.030 align:middle line:90% I would sleep with him again. 00:00:51.030 --> 00:00:54.690 align:middle line:84% Today in honor of my blankety blanked birthday, 00:00:54.690 --> 00:00:57.630 align:middle line:84% I brewed up, just for me, a whole pot 00:00:57.630 --> 00:01:00.420 align:middle line:90% of Prince Vladimir tea. 00:01:00.420 --> 00:01:02.160 align:middle line:90% I mean, thé. 00:01:02.160 --> 00:01:05.489 align:middle line:84% Today, in honor of my 30 something, 00:01:05.489 --> 00:01:09.930 align:middle line:84% I remembered Berrigan's birthday poem and his birthday pants. 00:01:09.930 --> 00:01:14.730 align:middle line:84% I think he was turning, burning 27, eight, nine, 10, 00:01:14.730 --> 00:01:18.240 align:middle line:84% and the New York sky returned to his sky. 00:01:18.240 --> 00:01:22.410 align:middle line:84% And his heart and Frank's and given many more years 00:01:22.410 --> 00:01:23.430 align:middle line:90% and tries. 00:01:23.430 --> 00:01:25.860 align:middle line:84% But now, that's not how it works, is it? 00:01:25.860 --> 00:01:27.270 align:middle line:90% Maybe mine. 00:01:27.270 --> 00:01:31.710 align:middle line:84% Today, in honor of my birth, my rebirth, I was Frank 00:01:31.710 --> 00:01:33.060 align:middle line:90% and I was Ted. 00:01:33.060 --> 00:01:36.120 align:middle line:84% I was, would have been that good in bed, 00:01:36.120 --> 00:01:38.760 align:middle line:84% but my husband was nowhere to be found. 00:01:38.760 --> 00:01:40.440 align:middle line:90% He was let loose. 00:01:40.440 --> 00:01:43.350 align:middle line:84% He was hunting moose near Magrath 00:01:43.350 --> 00:01:48.150 align:middle line:84% on a raft, a fat new moose of a lover and his bony head. 00:01:48.150 --> 00:01:51.600 align:middle line:84% And remember, there were also those nasty birthday poems 00:01:51.600 --> 00:01:54.930 align:middle line:84% by Sylvia, by Sylvia Plath, Plath, Plath. 00:01:54.930 --> 00:01:58.230 align:middle line:84% And Salamun wrote a wonderful little birthday poem 00:01:58.230 --> 00:02:02.010 align:middle line:84% with that army shit and Tommy in it, and who else? 00:02:02.010 --> 00:02:02.970 align:middle line:90% I don't know. 00:02:02.970 --> 00:02:05.220 align:middle line:90% I'm secretly not that well-read. 00:02:05.220 --> 00:02:10.530 align:middle line:84% Although it's a secret I keep only from me, from me, from me. 00:02:10.530 --> 00:02:14.970 align:middle line:84% Today, in honor to preserve my honor, my poetic code, 00:02:14.970 --> 00:02:18.150 align:middle line:84% I actually went and found that little black book 00:02:18.150 --> 00:02:22.440 align:middle line:84% with the lace applique, the book I stole from the Juneau Public 00:02:22.440 --> 00:02:28.350 align:middle line:84% Library, and it is, was rare, a following in Ted's books-- 00:02:28.350 --> 00:02:32.340 align:middle line:84% in Ted's boots, his foots, his falls, his step. 00:02:32.340 --> 00:02:36.810 align:middle line:84% Still to do today, smoke more cigarettes, steal some books. 00:02:36.810 --> 00:02:42.210 align:middle line:84% And my God, look, Berrigan also had a birthday shirt, dear, 00:02:42.210 --> 00:02:44.190 align:middle line:90% old, and he was so young. 00:02:44.190 --> 00:02:50.010 align:middle line:84% Ted was always over, over, over, over the fucking top, 00:02:50.010 --> 00:02:51.660 align:middle line:90% good for fucking him. 00:02:51.660 --> 00:02:56.640 align:middle line:84% Today, in my honor thought, at the top, am I of my game? 00:02:56.640 --> 00:03:00.780 align:middle line:84% Today, today, in honor of my 30 and my eight, 00:03:00.780 --> 00:03:03.150 align:middle line:90% I ate, and ate, and ate. 00:03:03.150 --> 00:03:06.000 align:middle line:84% I decided to stay up late, late, late. 00:03:06.000 --> 00:03:07.320 align:middle line:90% I celebrated. 00:03:07.320 --> 00:03:09.840 align:middle line:90% I berated almost no one. 00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:12.840 align:middle line:84% And it was already afternoon, but I never 00:03:12.840 --> 00:03:15.810 align:middle line:84% should have picked at-- picked up that cake. 00:03:15.810 --> 00:03:17.640 align:middle line:90% I mean, and I am mean. 00:03:17.640 --> 00:03:21.930 align:middle line:84% That Cate or that Spenser, I made short, I mean, too long, 00:03:21.930 --> 00:03:23.760 align:middle line:84% too young, too dean, I mean, 00:03:23.760 --> 00:03:27.590 align:middle line:84% too earnest, too important, too marvelous, too much, and not, 00:03:27.590 --> 00:03:32.100 align:middle line:84% not, not near or far enough is one day 00:03:32.100 --> 00:03:37.890 align:middle line:84% to celebrate my miraculous, my moment ary, my airy, my aerie, 00:03:37.890 --> 00:03:42.900 align:middle line:84% my moment of inertia, of truth, my ous and my tum, 00:03:42.900 --> 00:03:47.040 align:middle line:84% my monument of a birth, my lovely girly girth. 00:03:47.040 --> 00:03:51.360 align:middle line:84% No Maid am I, but still not bad, not bad. 00:03:51.360 --> 00:03:55.710 align:middle line:84% Today in honor of my 38th, I wrote this poem, 00:03:55.710 --> 00:04:00.330 align:middle line:84% and I haven't written a poem in years, in years, in years. 00:04:00.330 --> 00:04:04.170 align:middle line:84% All my friends, to you in tears, I drink a beer. 00:04:04.170 --> 00:04:09.690 align:middle line:84% Your old friend is 30, is 30, is 38. 00:04:09.690 --> 00:04:15.030 align:middle line:84% Right now, today, though some of you forgot, oh, forget it away. 00:04:15.030 --> 00:04:17.790 align:middle line:84% What would my long not heard from friend, Jill, 00:04:17.790 --> 00:04:19.470 align:middle line:90% have to say about all this? 00:04:19.470 --> 00:04:24.330 align:middle line:84% What would my tall short found, long last friend or foe, Matt, 00:04:24.330 --> 00:04:27.120 align:middle line:84% have to say about anything at all? 00:04:27.120 --> 00:04:30.180 align:middle line:84% I must go read his new book and find out. 00:04:30.180 --> 00:04:33.180 align:middle line:84% Still to do in honor of my birth today, 00:04:33.180 --> 00:04:37.360 align:middle line:84% go for a short long walk, buy some milk, both skim and whole. 00:04:37.360 --> 00:04:41.790 align:middle line:84% Hold off on that pregnancy test until next week when I'm not 00:04:41.790 --> 00:04:46.150 align:middle line:84% so depressed, not be so depressed, eat many, many, 00:04:46.150 --> 00:04:49.410 align:middle line:84% many more M&Ms, line them up, pair them up by color, 00:04:49.410 --> 00:04:51.390 align:middle line:90% by design, by birth. 00:04:51.390 --> 00:04:55.050 align:middle line:84% Yay, give kids baths "more bubbles mama and less 00:04:55.050 --> 00:04:57.030 align:middle line:90% troubles please", say they. 00:04:57.030 --> 00:05:00.230 align:middle line:84% Kiss their faces, and their bellies, their fingers, 00:05:00.230 --> 00:05:02.810 align:middle line:84% and their tips, get rid of them, palm them off 00:05:02.810 --> 00:05:07.520 align:middle line:84% to sleep, to sleep, to sleep, and then watch a good movie, 00:05:07.520 --> 00:05:09.030 align:middle line:90% or write Mary. 00:05:09.030 --> 00:05:11.210 align:middle line:84% "Mary, have you seen anything good lately?" 00:05:11.210 --> 00:05:15.020 align:middle line:84% or finished reading the good, well, the alright soldier? 00:05:15.020 --> 00:05:17.675 align:middle line:90% For God's sake, stop and think. 00:05:17.675 --> 00:05:20.990 align:middle line:84% Master, master, masturbate, sleep 00:05:20.990 --> 00:05:25.380 align:middle line:84% my way, my way to not today, to not my birthday, 00:05:25.380 --> 00:05:30.620 align:middle line:84% yet somehow try to always feel this, this commemorative 00:05:30.620 --> 00:05:32.510 align:middle line:90% and this commemorated. 00:05:32.510 --> 00:05:35.840 align:middle line:84% Finally not underrated or sedated, look, 00:05:35.840 --> 00:05:39.770 align:middle line:84% see here my firework, my flat stomach, and the fruit 00:05:39.770 --> 00:05:42.050 align:middle line:90% of my womb, my flares. 00:05:42.050 --> 00:05:44.570 align:middle line:84% Tomorrow, in honor of my birthday, 00:05:44.570 --> 00:05:47.270 align:middle line:90% do not revise this poem. 00:05:47.270 --> 00:05:51.680 align:middle line:84% This life, this everything and anything is something, 00:05:51.680 --> 00:05:53.170 align:middle line:90% ain't it, love? 00:05:53.170 --> 00:05:55.940 align:middle line:90% Love where and when? 00:05:55.940 --> 00:05:58.460 align:middle line:90% Tomorrow, buy birthday shirt. 00:05:58.460 --> 00:06:01.970 align:middle line:84% It will, will it?, be red, or orange, 00:06:01.970 --> 00:06:06.730 align:middle line:90% or pink, not yellow, not blue." 00:06:06.730 --> 00:06:08.000 align:middle line:90%