WEBVTT

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This one is called "Home for
my Blankety Blanked Birthday."

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"Today, in honor of my
blankety blanked birthday,

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I put on my new pink,
low-rise corduroy flares.

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Today, in honor of my
blankety blanked birthday,

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Augie and Lyana, my
widowed minnows,

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swam synchronized naps.

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Today, in honor of my
blankety blanked birthday,

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I changed the sheet on my
bed from baby blue to red,

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to red, to red.

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Today, in honor of my
blankety blanked birth,

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I watched Bob Woodruff, who
I slept with once or twice

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in 1986, report from
Islamabad for ABC.

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He still looked good.

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I would sleep with him again.

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Today in honor of my
blankety blanked birthday,

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I brewed up, just
for me, a whole pot

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of Prince Vladimir tea.

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I mean, thé.

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Today, in honor of
my 30 something,

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I remembered Berrigan's birthday
poem and his birthday pants.

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I think he was turning,
burning 27, eight, nine, 10,

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and the New York sky
returned to his sky.

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And his heart and Frank's
and given many more years

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and tries.

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But now, that's not
how it works, is it?

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Maybe mine.

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Today, in honor of my birth,
my rebirth, I was Frank

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and I was Ted.

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I was, would have
been that good in bed,

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but my husband was
nowhere to be found.

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He was let loose.

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He was hunting
moose near Magrath

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on a raft, a fat new moose
of a lover and his bony head.

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And remember, there were also
those nasty birthday poems

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by Sylvia, by Sylvia
Plath, Plath, Plath.

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And Salamun wrote a
wonderful little birthday poem

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with that army shit and
Tommy in it, and who else?

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I don't know.

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I'm secretly not that well-read.

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Although it's a secret I keep
only from me, from me, from me.

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Today, in honor to preserve
my honor, my poetic code,

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I actually went and found
that little black book

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with the lace applique, the book
I stole from the Juneau Public

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Library, and it is, was rare,
a following in Ted's books--

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in Ted's boots, his foots,
his falls, his step.

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Still to do today, smoke more
cigarettes, steal some books.

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And my God, look, Berrigan also
had a birthday shirt, dear,

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old, and he was so young.

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Ted was always over, over,
over, over the fucking top,

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good for fucking him.

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Today, in my honor thought,
at the top, am I of my game?

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Today, today, in honor
of my 30 and my eight,

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I ate, and ate, and ate.

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I decided to stay
up late, late, late.

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I celebrated.

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I berated almost no one.

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And it was already
afternoon, but I never

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should have picked at--
picked up that cake.

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I mean, and I am mean.

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That Cate or that Spenser, I
made short, I mean, too long,

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too young, too
dean, I mean,

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too earnest, too important, too
marvelous, too much, and not,

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not, not near or far
enough is one day

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to celebrate my miraculous, my
moment ary, my airy, my aerie,

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my moment of inertia, of
truth, my ous and my tum,

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my monument of a birth,
my lovely girly girth.

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No Maid am I, but
still not bad, not bad.

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Today in honor of my
38th, I wrote this poem,

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and I haven't written a poem
in years, in years, in years.

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All my friends, to you
in tears, I drink a beer.

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Your old friend is
30, is 30, is 38.

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Right now, today, though some of
you forgot, oh, forget it away.

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What would my long not
heard from friend, Jill,

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have to say about all this?

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What would my tall short found,
long last friend or foe, Matt,

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have to say about
anything at all?

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I must go read his
new book and find out.

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Still to do in honor
of my birth today,

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go for a short long walk, buy
some milk, both skim and whole.

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Hold off on that pregnancy test
until next week when I'm not

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so depressed, not be so
depressed, eat many, many,

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many more M&Ms, line them
up, pair them up by color,

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by design, by birth.

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Yay, give kids baths "more
bubbles mama and less

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troubles please", say they.

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Kiss their faces, and their
bellies, their fingers,

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and their tips, get rid
of them, palm them off

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to sleep, to sleep, to sleep,
and then watch a good movie,

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or write Mary.

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"Mary, have you seen
anything good lately?"

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or finished reading the good,
well, the alright soldier?

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For God's sake, stop and think.

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Master, master,
masturbate, sleep

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my way, my way to not
today, to not my birthday,

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yet somehow try to always
feel this, this commemorative

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and this commemorated.

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Finally not underrated
or sedated, look,

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see here my firework, my
flat stomach, and the fruit

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of my womb, my flares.

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Tomorrow, in honor
of my birthday,

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do not revise this poem.

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This life, this everything
and anything is something,

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ain't it, love?

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Love where and when?

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Tomorrow, buy birthday shirt.

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It will, will it?,
be red, or orange,

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or pink, not yellow, not blue."

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