WEBVTT

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"Math."

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"I was talking at a party
with a man about Lolita.

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He seemed surprised
that we both liked it.

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I told him it was a
very well-liked book.

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He was being really flirty.

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First, when we met at the
party, he just looked at me.

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And then as soon as I
said something, he said,

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'You're witty.'

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He reminded me of someone.

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And I was trying to
think of who it was.

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I figured out that he looked
like a friend of mine,

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a writer who's written a
book about Lolita and also

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some novels.

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I told him.

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Now, he said, 'Is your
friend a good writer?'

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'Well, he's well-liked.'

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I thought of this
other writer I know,

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who looks like a famous actor.

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Everyone says so.

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And he's even written about it.

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He was the teacher of another
writer friend of mine.

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I was at her place the other
day and met her ex-husband.

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And you know who he looks like?

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That famous actor and,
consequently, also,

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that writer who looks like
him, my friend's teacher.

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I mentioned this to them,
and neither one had ever

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noticed that he
looked like anyone,

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but they agreed completely.

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So I'm not making it up.

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In light of all of this,
it's interesting to me

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that when we read a book,
we don't look like anyone.

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And also, something
I thought about

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during both Lolita movies, how
important it is in the book

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that we don't see her
except in our imagination.

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Because if we saw her, she'd be
just a kid, and we'd freak out.

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I thought about that music
video with sexy Liv Tyler

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and her father lusting over
her as if we don't know he's

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her father.

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But maybe the goal is we
do know he's her father.

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So what about the
guy at the party?

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God, I hardly remember him,
except he was a math genius.

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But I remember hoping
all the time we

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were talking that he
could quickly explain math

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to me, suddenly, in
an ejaculate burst,

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in a way that I'd really get it,
all the parts of math I always

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longed for, that I knew were on
the other side of all the math

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I couldn't bear.

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And because of this, I have the
same lingering sense of loss

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that I might have had
if we'd slept together

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or been married once for
several years a long time ago."

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