WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.510 align:middle line:90%


00:00:00.510 --> 00:00:04.170 align:middle line:84%
So I wanted to read a
brand new piece next

00:00:04.170 --> 00:00:05.670 align:middle line:90%
that I was working on.

00:00:05.670 --> 00:00:09.060 align:middle line:90%


00:00:09.060 --> 00:00:13.590 align:middle line:84%
I've been writing for
years and my first book

00:00:13.590 --> 00:00:16.320 align:middle line:84%
came out when I was 40
from Soft Skull Press.

00:00:16.320 --> 00:00:18.180 align:middle line:84%
And the thing is,
before you're--

00:00:18.180 --> 00:00:20.247 align:middle line:84%
it's funny because
I had made friends

00:00:20.247 --> 00:00:22.830 align:middle line:84%
with Jonathan Williams, who was
the last living Black Mountain

00:00:22.830 --> 00:00:23.410 align:middle line:90%
poet.

00:00:23.410 --> 00:00:26.040 align:middle line:84%
And he said to me, oh, yeah
you're really happy now

00:00:26.040 --> 00:00:28.970 align:middle line:84%
but wait till you and your
friends start publishing.

00:00:28.970 --> 00:00:30.720 align:middle line:84%
I was like, what is
that supposed to mean?

00:00:30.720 --> 00:00:32.595 align:middle line:84%
And he said, well, when
you're in your teens,

00:00:32.595 --> 00:00:33.390 align:middle line:90%
it's really lovely.

00:00:33.390 --> 00:00:35.820 align:middle line:84%
You're all having
sex, blah, blah, blah.

00:00:35.820 --> 00:00:38.140 align:middle line:84%
Your 20s and then your
30s, there's community.

00:00:38.140 --> 00:00:42.420 align:middle line:84%
But when you hit 40, that's
when people start publishing,

00:00:42.420 --> 00:00:46.200 align:middle line:84%
and that's when you
all find out who's real

00:00:46.200 --> 00:00:51.510 align:middle line:84%
and who's just been a
scumbag hiding all this time.

00:00:51.510 --> 00:00:53.100 align:middle line:90%
And I was like, oh, come on.

00:00:53.100 --> 00:00:55.720 align:middle line:84%
I don't really think
that's going to happen.

00:00:55.720 --> 00:00:56.820 align:middle line:90%
Well, it did.

00:00:56.820 --> 00:00:58.890 align:middle line:90%
And it was bad.

00:00:58.890 --> 00:01:01.155 align:middle line:84%
Terrible things happened
that I couldn't believe.

00:01:01.155 --> 00:01:06.330 align:middle line:90%


00:01:06.330 --> 00:01:08.360 align:middle line:84%
And I just didn't want
to-- it was, like,

00:01:08.360 --> 00:01:11.450 align:middle line:84%
friends who I knew in
Philadelphia who were

00:01:11.450 --> 00:01:13.070 align:middle line:90%
a little older some of them.

00:01:13.070 --> 00:01:17.240 align:middle line:90%
And mostly, you know, and--

00:01:17.240 --> 00:01:17.930 align:middle line:90%
I don't know.

00:01:17.930 --> 00:01:20.450 align:middle line:84%
I just can't tell
you how disappointing

00:01:20.450 --> 00:01:23.195 align:middle line:90%
it is when people act badly.

00:01:23.195 --> 00:01:24.560 align:middle line:90%


00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:26.660 align:middle line:84%
But I didn't want to be
angry about it anymore,

00:01:26.660 --> 00:01:28.850 align:middle line:84%
but I also kind of
think forgiveness

00:01:28.850 --> 00:01:30.530 align:middle line:90%
is a little overrated.

00:01:30.530 --> 00:01:33.800 align:middle line:84%
And I'm a little tired of
hearing about forgiveness

00:01:33.800 --> 00:01:36.470 align:middle line:90%
all the time.

00:01:36.470 --> 00:01:42.600 align:middle line:84%
But I wanted to forgive for my
own health but in my own way.

00:01:42.600 --> 00:01:43.570 align:middle line:90%
So that's what this.

00:01:43.570 --> 00:01:46.250 align:middle line:90%
This is what this is.

00:01:46.250 --> 00:01:50.230 align:middle line:84%
So I'm going to read
the ritual first

00:01:50.230 --> 00:01:52.480 align:middle line:84%
and then I'm going to
read the resulting poem.

00:01:52.480 --> 00:01:55.360 align:middle line:84%
And the ritual is
called, "You Don't

00:01:55.360 --> 00:02:00.700 align:middle line:84%
Have What It Takes
To Be My Nemesis"

00:02:00.700 --> 00:02:04.735 align:middle line:84%
for Dorothea Lasky who also
puts up with a lot of assholes.

00:02:04.735 --> 00:02:08.539 align:middle line:90%


00:02:08.539 --> 00:02:11.030 align:middle line:84%
"To the friend you
thought was a friend

00:02:11.030 --> 00:02:15.840 align:middle line:84%
until they tried to sabotage
a publishing opportunity.

00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:18.390 align:middle line:84%
To the one who ripped
your book in half on stage

00:02:18.390 --> 00:02:21.762 align:middle line:84%
then wrote patronizing letters
to the newspaper about how

00:02:21.762 --> 00:02:23.220 align:middle line:84%
you should be
writing and the poets

00:02:23.220 --> 00:02:25.800 align:middle line:84%
you should be reading
to become a real poet.

00:02:25.800 --> 00:02:27.264 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHS]

00:02:27.264 --> 00:02:28.730 align:middle line:90%


00:02:28.730 --> 00:02:30.980 align:middle line:84%
To the creep who
deleted your MP3

00:02:30.980 --> 00:02:35.030 align:middle line:84%
file because your reading
was better than his.

00:02:35.030 --> 00:02:38.180 align:middle line:84%
There are others,
lying, conniving,

00:02:38.180 --> 00:02:41.210 align:middle line:84%
envious sourpusses
without the courage

00:02:41.210 --> 00:02:46.020 align:middle line:84%
to be loyal to the love of
friends and shared ideas.

00:02:46.020 --> 00:02:49.530 align:middle line:84%
But finally to the
worst of all, to the one

00:02:49.530 --> 00:02:54.060 align:middle line:84%
you love the most; your
trusted collaborator, the one

00:02:54.060 --> 00:02:59.170 align:middle line:84%
who wreaked true havoc,
the gifted sociopath,

00:02:59.170 --> 00:03:03.450 align:middle line:84%
the one you always dreaded,
but they found you.

00:03:03.450 --> 00:03:06.420 align:middle line:84%
That one, the best
liar you ever met

00:03:06.420 --> 00:03:11.100 align:middle line:84%
who took a machete to your
life, their drama akin to opera.

00:03:11.100 --> 00:03:14.460 align:middle line:84%
Even still they are
given the parting words,

00:03:14.460 --> 00:03:18.030 align:middle line:90%
"YOU DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES."

00:03:18.030 --> 00:03:20.250 align:middle line:84%
Take notes about each
of them for the poem,

00:03:20.250 --> 00:03:23.580 align:middle line:84%
their names are unimportant
as such cowards are rarely

00:03:23.580 --> 00:03:25.590 align:middle line:90%
remembered.

00:03:25.590 --> 00:03:28.470 align:middle line:84%
Create a line of tiny
photographs of their faces

00:03:28.470 --> 00:03:34.090 align:middle line:84%
on your computer, ALL IN A
ROW, and then print it out;

00:03:34.090 --> 00:03:38.370 align:middle line:84%
this will be the rolling
paper for a cigarette.

00:03:38.370 --> 00:03:41.550 align:middle line:84%
Cover their faces with equal
amounts of the following dried

00:03:41.550 --> 00:03:45.510 align:middle line:84%
ingredients, fennel
seeds, pine needles,

00:03:45.510 --> 00:03:50.790 align:middle line:84%
rose petals, mugwort,
basil, white sage,

00:03:50.790 --> 00:03:56.280 align:middle line:84%
red sandalwood powder, perique
tobacco, and marijuana.

00:03:56.280 --> 00:03:58.410 align:middle line:84%
These ingredients qualm
negative thoughts,

00:03:58.410 --> 00:04:01.380 align:middle line:84%
shift gears for
transformation, and also invoke

00:04:01.380 --> 00:04:05.640 align:middle line:84%
prophetic dreams, clairvoyance,
happiness, honesty,

00:04:05.640 --> 00:04:08.730 align:middle line:84%
peace of mind, and
marijuana because you

00:04:08.730 --> 00:04:13.080 align:middle line:84%
put up with a lot of shit and
deserve to enjoy yourself!

00:04:13.080 --> 00:04:15.090 align:middle line:84%
Roll it up, keep
track of which enemy

00:04:15.090 --> 00:04:17.370 align:middle line:84%
you are smoking,
but smoke them all,

00:04:17.370 --> 00:04:23.730 align:middle line:84%
SMOKE THEM ALL, sucking
their faces into your lungs

00:04:23.730 --> 00:04:26.040 align:middle line:84%
while writing
notes for the poem,

00:04:26.040 --> 00:04:29.100 align:middle line:84%
notes about the ones who didn't
have what it takes to beat you

00:04:29.100 --> 00:04:31.980 align:middle line:84%
down, the ones who never
deserved your friendship

00:04:31.980 --> 00:04:34.530 align:middle line:90%
in the first place.

00:04:34.530 --> 00:04:37.200 align:middle line:84%
Exhaling their faces
on a braid of smoke

00:04:37.200 --> 00:04:41.730 align:middle line:84%
is more satisfying than the
usual forms of forgiveness.

00:04:41.730 --> 00:04:45.150 align:middle line:84%
Find your poem in the notes
and utterly relish your day!"

00:04:45.150 --> 00:04:47.160 align:middle line:90%
So this is the resulting poem.

00:04:47.160 --> 00:04:53.400 align:middle line:84%
And it's titled "I Feel So
Lonely When You Touch Me."

00:04:53.400 --> 00:04:56.880 align:middle line:90%


00:04:56.880 --> 00:05:00.210 align:middle line:84%
"Like most people,
ghosts want listeners.

00:05:00.210 --> 00:05:05.910 align:middle line:84%
Inquiring gender of
quaking tree in shade

00:05:05.910 --> 00:05:08.070 align:middle line:90%
rips your collar to pieces.

00:05:08.070 --> 00:05:12.000 align:middle line:84%
We meet ourselves whole at same
time, order of the way some

00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:13.740 align:middle line:90%
will ruin themselves.

00:05:13.740 --> 00:05:16.740 align:middle line:84%
Gentleness thrust
into a clean glass.

00:05:16.740 --> 00:05:19.920 align:middle line:84%
Ideate YES angling
a wider indulgence.

00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:23.520 align:middle line:84%
You and your broken pencil
write, it's a writing world,

00:05:23.520 --> 00:05:26.130 align:middle line:90%
but do get on with it.

00:05:26.130 --> 00:05:31.410 align:middle line:84%
Listen to blood of trees imbuing
interest rate with sunshine,

00:05:31.410 --> 00:05:35.750 align:middle line:84%
suffering passed
to a hired hand."

00:05:35.750 --> 00:05:37.024 align:middle line:90%