WEBVTT

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"Dear Mr. Chairman of Ethics,
Leadership, and Personnel

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Policy in the US Army's
Office of the Deputy

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Chief of Staff for Personnel."

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"First, let me explain.

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My mother forbade me to walk
fence rails with the Milesky

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boy.

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She barred me from taking off
my shirt to dig flowerbeds

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with the Holloway girl.

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I kicked an
overturned coffee can

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in the middle of the cul-de-sac.

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Storm after storm blew
past our screen door,

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standing under the plum
tree's pale pink blossoms

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was putting on a veil.

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In the hard soil
of childhood, God

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was everywhere in
pitted sycamores,

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a vibrating clothesline,
and fireflies

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hung still as lanterns
from a Japanese maple.

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One day, I carved a whole
landscape in the windowsill--

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sun, willow, car, lady.

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Perhaps there were rabbits.

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My mother grabbed my wrist.

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Rains broke.

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Live wires writhe like
eels through our streets.

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How much loneliness
must we inherit?

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So sir, I grew
earthbound and cursed,

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a quarry, a construction site.

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God lagged behind in the
pale light of swimming pools

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and pines.

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I took lovers and planes.

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In the desert east
of Palm Springs,

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I drove past windmills
flapping like angels

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trying to redirect traffic.

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And yes, sir, that
was me kneeling down

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to take a birth control pill
by baggage claim area three.

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Of course, sir, I can
see it clearly now.

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Where once there
was a thicket, I

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recognize three trees,
a complicated song,

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a cardinal's call, a mother's
voice, a wedding march.

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I want to undo it.

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Wind brings one bush
to thrash and panic

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while another remains
as still as porcelain.

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Promiscuity, like a
season, has its limits.

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Inevitably, rain weaves a sort
of loose net on the window

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screen.

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Any woman of a certain age will
recognize it as cheap lace."

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