WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.900 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.900 --> 00:00:02.775 align:middle line:84% I have no idea how I'm doing on time. 00:00:02.775 --> 00:00:04.650 align:middle line:84% I think you're going to have to get the hook. 00:00:04.650 --> 00:00:07.840 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:07.840 --> 00:00:08.340 align:middle line:90% 00:00:08.340 --> 00:00:09.270 align:middle line:90% You tell me, right? 00:00:09.270 --> 00:00:09.960 align:middle line:90% Yeah. 00:00:09.960 --> 00:00:11.550 align:middle line:90% OK. 00:00:11.550 --> 00:00:17.310 align:middle line:90% This is called, "Sleep 1972." 00:00:17.310 --> 00:00:21.580 align:middle line:90% A true story, deplorably. 00:00:21.580 --> 00:00:26.080 align:middle line:84% Wearing patch jeans and a man's hunting cap for effect I 00:00:26.080 --> 00:00:28.210 align:middle line:84% showed up at the public assistance 00:00:28.210 --> 00:00:30.020 align:middle line:90% offices somewhere in Mt. 00:00:30.020 --> 00:00:32.080 align:middle line:90% Kisco, New York. 00:00:32.080 --> 00:00:34.810 align:middle line:90% Who was I trying to impress? 00:00:34.810 --> 00:00:37.660 align:middle line:84% I had two-year-old Rachel in one arm, 00:00:37.660 --> 00:00:42.280 align:middle line:84% a big floral shopping bag-- containing a box of pastels, 00:00:42.280 --> 00:00:46.180 align:middle line:84% a book or two of poetry, a novel, diapers-- 00:00:46.180 --> 00:00:47.620 align:middle line:90% in the other. 00:00:47.620 --> 00:00:51.130 align:middle line:84% We'd hitchhiked there on the New England Thruway. 00:00:51.130 --> 00:00:55.000 align:middle line:84% An old woman picked us up in her Oldsmobile. 00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:57.250 align:middle line:90% She had thin, tan hair. 00:00:57.250 --> 00:01:01.540 align:middle line:84% And as we crept along decades under the speed limit 00:01:01.540 --> 00:01:06.250 align:middle line:84% she gripped the wheel fiercely, as if maneuvering a tug boat 00:01:06.250 --> 00:01:08.590 align:middle line:90% over a mountain. 00:01:08.590 --> 00:01:13.690 align:middle line:84% From the backseat, I took in the sad color of her scalp. 00:01:13.690 --> 00:01:16.150 align:middle line:90% I was worried for her. 00:01:16.150 --> 00:01:18.310 align:middle line:84% "Do you always pick up hitchhikers?" 00:01:18.310 --> 00:01:18.835 align:middle line:90% I asked. 00:01:18.835 --> 00:01:20.800 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:20.800 --> 00:01:22.420 align:middle line:90% At which, she stiffened. 00:01:22.420 --> 00:01:27.100 align:middle line:90% So I shut up and closed my eyes. 00:01:27.100 --> 00:01:28.810 align:middle line:90% I was always tired. 00:01:28.810 --> 00:01:31.840 align:middle line:84% In the mornings after the kids caught the school bus 00:01:31.840 --> 00:01:34.750 align:middle line:84% I'd crawl back into bed with the baby. 00:01:34.750 --> 00:01:38.950 align:middle line:84% After a day spent reading or staring at the frozen lake 00:01:38.950 --> 00:01:41.410 align:middle line:90% I'd be exhausted again. 00:01:41.410 --> 00:01:44.860 align:middle line:84% The kids returning from school wore me out, 00:01:44.860 --> 00:01:47.680 align:middle line:90% so did dinnertime and bedtime. 00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:52.150 align:middle line:84% I was tireder than tired trees losing my leaves 00:01:52.150 --> 00:01:53.770 align:middle line:90% in my late 20s. 00:01:53.770 --> 00:01:57.910 align:middle line:84% Tireder than the lake's frozen dormant surface. 00:01:57.910 --> 00:02:00.790 align:middle line:90% I was dead to the world. 00:02:00.790 --> 00:02:03.550 align:middle line:84% As I slept, the ice boaters raced by. 00:02:03.550 --> 00:02:06.580 align:middle line:84% They ran behind their boats, leapt on when 00:02:06.580 --> 00:02:08.289 align:middle line:90% the wind caught their sails. 00:02:08.289 --> 00:02:12.160 align:middle line:84% The sound of them like giant zippers zipping by 00:02:12.160 --> 00:02:15.010 align:middle line:90% entered my dreams. 00:02:15.010 --> 00:02:18.550 align:middle line:84% In the welfare office I lit up, Rachel beside me. 00:02:18.550 --> 00:02:20.650 align:middle line:84% And God knows how many other kids 00:02:20.650 --> 00:02:22.930 align:middle line:90% with their smoking parents. 00:02:22.930 --> 00:02:25.720 align:middle line:84% We blew the smoke around with abandon. 00:02:25.720 --> 00:02:28.060 align:middle line:90% Our kids already beyond hope. 00:02:28.060 --> 00:02:29.230 align:middle line:90% They were used to it. 00:02:29.230 --> 00:02:32.710 align:middle line:84% Their snow suits, even their little heads reeking 00:02:32.710 --> 00:02:34.840 align:middle line:90% of nicotine. 00:02:34.840 --> 00:02:38.050 align:middle line:84% There was a woman with a sore leg sitting nearby. 00:02:38.050 --> 00:02:42.520 align:middle line:84% She was all bandaged up, her child wearing a hat, 00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:46.930 align:middle line:84% completely obscured his face, rocked in a stroller. 00:02:46.930 --> 00:02:50.350 align:middle line:84% A thin girl with a resolving black eye 00:02:50.350 --> 00:02:53.680 align:middle line:84% fidgeted with the loops of her jacket. 00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:57.910 align:middle line:84% The black eye was beautiful-- purples and gold shot through 00:02:57.910 --> 00:03:00.280 align:middle line:90% with turquoise flame. 00:03:00.280 --> 00:03:08.080 align:middle line:84% Her other brown eye calm stared, stared ahead, trance-like. 00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:12.010 align:middle line:84% On the wall signs advised us of our rights 00:03:12.010 --> 00:03:15.310 align:middle line:84% to patiently wait our turns, have our IDs 00:03:15.310 --> 00:03:18.580 align:middle line:90% handy, use birth control. 00:03:18.580 --> 00:03:21.850 align:middle line:84% A few magazines lay around, but they never 00:03:21.850 --> 00:03:25.030 align:middle line:90% transported me anywhere. 00:03:25.030 --> 00:03:27.880 align:middle line:84% It's kind of a shout out to Elizabeth Bishop, 00:03:27.880 --> 00:03:30.280 align:middle line:84% a famous poem called, "In the Waiting Room," 00:03:30.280 --> 00:03:34.210 align:middle line:84% where, at the end, she does, indeed, get transported. 00:03:34.210 --> 00:03:41.610 align:middle line:84% But this poor person, me in the past, was not, apparently.