WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.300 align:middle line:90% Can you hear all right? 00:00:03.300 --> 00:00:04.980 align:middle line:84% All right let me know if you can't. 00:00:04.980 --> 00:00:06.225 align:middle line:90% Unless it's better like that. 00:00:06.225 --> 00:00:10.480 align:middle line:90% 00:00:10.480 --> 00:00:11.730 align:middle line:90% I think I'm going to read-- 00:00:11.730 --> 00:00:15.210 align:middle line:84% begin by reading a poem back about the academic world. 00:00:15.210 --> 00:00:18.480 align:middle line:84% I've spent most of my life there mostly 00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:23.100 align:middle line:84% having sort of a bad raw time of it and you know, 00:00:23.100 --> 00:00:26.790 align:middle line:84% you have to get even with people somehow. 00:00:26.790 --> 00:00:29.220 align:middle line:90% I write poems. 00:00:29.220 --> 00:00:31.790 align:middle line:84% Several years ago, many years ago now, I 00:00:31.790 --> 00:00:36.000 align:middle line:84% guess the Phi Beta Kappa Association at Columbia 00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:41.100 align:middle line:84% University asked me to write their yearly ceremonial poem. 00:00:41.100 --> 00:00:47.070 align:middle line:84% Well, as a non-member of Phi Beta Kappa I thought, Oh, yes. 00:00:47.070 --> 00:00:49.050 align:middle line:90% [CHUCKLES] 00:00:49.050 --> 00:00:53.190 align:middle line:84% Mm-hmm here's where we get a couple of numbers back. 00:00:53.190 --> 00:00:55.200 align:middle line:90% So I wrote them a poem. 00:00:55.200 --> 00:00:58.020 align:middle line:84% This poem is called "The Examination." 00:00:58.020 --> 00:01:00.570 align:middle line:84% And I'm sure that you won't recognize any of the people 00:01:00.570 --> 00:01:03.090 align:middle line:84% in this poem because you've never encountered anyone 00:01:03.090 --> 00:01:06.090 align:middle line:90% like that at your institution. 00:01:06.090 --> 00:01:09.150 align:middle line:90% 00:01:09.150 --> 00:01:11.820 align:middle line:84% There's one figure even though-- there's 00:01:11.820 --> 00:01:15.180 align:middle line:84% one figure who is different from all the others, however, 00:01:15.180 --> 00:01:17.430 align:middle line:84% all the others are wearing black robes. 00:01:17.430 --> 00:01:19.080 align:middle line:90% He isn't wearing a black robe. 00:01:19.080 --> 00:01:20.880 align:middle line:84% I guess the whole issue of this examination 00:01:20.880 --> 00:01:23.700 align:middle line:84% is whether he's to be allowed to wear a black robe 00:01:23.700 --> 00:01:25.170 align:middle line:90% or not like the others. 00:01:25.170 --> 00:01:27.540 align:middle line:90% And he's a demigod named Garuda. 00:01:27.540 --> 00:01:28.950 align:middle line:90% He's Vishnu's vehicle. 00:01:28.950 --> 00:01:30.780 align:middle line:84% Anytime Vishnu wants to go someplace 00:01:30.780 --> 00:01:32.790 align:middle line:90% he goes on the back of Garuda. 00:01:32.790 --> 00:01:36.720 align:middle line:84% Garuda has the body of a man, all white, the head of an eagle 00:01:36.720 --> 00:01:40.770 align:middle line:84% golden, and enormous scarlet wings, which 00:01:40.770 --> 00:01:43.650 align:middle line:84% are noted for their tremendous power, 00:01:43.650 --> 00:01:47.260 align:middle line:84% and he's altogether associated with power above all, 00:01:47.260 --> 00:01:51.240 align:middle line:84% with the sun, with light, enlightenment, illumination, 00:01:51.240 --> 00:01:55.590 align:middle line:84% intellection and imagination all those fine qualities. 00:01:55.590 --> 00:01:57.900 align:middle line:84% It rather appears here that he has 00:01:57.900 --> 00:02:03.190 align:middle line:84% fallen into the hands of certain other characters. 00:02:03.190 --> 00:02:04.150 align:middle line:90% "The Examination." 00:02:04.150 --> 00:02:06.850 align:middle line:90% 00:02:06.850 --> 00:02:11.920 align:middle line:84% "Under the thick beams of that swirly, smoking light, 00:02:11.920 --> 00:02:17.290 align:middle line:84% the black robes are clustering, huddled in together. 00:02:17.290 --> 00:02:22.000 align:middle line:84% Hunching their shoulders, they spread short broad sleeves 00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:25.480 align:middle line:84% like night black grackles' wings. 00:02:25.480 --> 00:02:28.660 align:middle line:84% Then they reach bone-yellow-leathery fingers 00:02:28.660 --> 00:02:34.980 align:middle line:90% each to each and are prepared. 00:02:34.980 --> 00:02:37.320 align:middle line:90% Each turns a single eye-- 00:02:37.320 --> 00:02:40.950 align:middle line:84% or since one can't discern their eyes 00:02:40.950 --> 00:02:44.070 align:middle line:84% that reflective single moon-pale disk, 00:02:44.070 --> 00:02:49.260 align:middle line:84% which burns over each brow, to watch this uncouth shape that 00:02:49.260 --> 00:02:52.080 align:middle line:90% lies strapped to their table. 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:57.480 align:middle line:84% One probes with his ragged nails, the slate-sharp calf, 00:02:57.480 --> 00:03:01.680 align:middle line:84% explores the thigh and the lean thews of the groin. 00:03:01.680 --> 00:03:07.590 align:middle line:84% Others raise, red as piratic sails, his wing, 00:03:07.590 --> 00:03:12.540 align:middle line:84% stretching, trying the pectoral sinews. 00:03:12.540 --> 00:03:15.510 align:middle line:84% One runs his finger down the whet 00:03:15.510 --> 00:03:19.470 align:middle line:84% of that cruel, golden beak, lifts back the horny lids 00:03:19.470 --> 00:03:23.850 align:middle line:84% from the eyes, peers down in one bright eye, 00:03:23.850 --> 00:03:26.940 align:middle line:90% malign as our jewel. 00:03:26.940 --> 00:03:31.470 align:middle line:84% And steps back suddenly, he's anaesthetized? 00:03:31.470 --> 00:03:35.220 align:middle line:90% He is, he is, yes, yes. 00:03:35.220 --> 00:03:38.430 align:middle line:84% The tallest of them bent down by the head, rises. 00:03:38.430 --> 00:03:43.560 align:middle line:84% This drug possesses powers sufficient to still all gods 00:03:43.560 --> 00:03:45.360 align:middle line:90% in this firmament. 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:50.820 align:middle line:90% This is Garuda, who was fierce. 00:03:50.820 --> 00:03:54.360 align:middle line:90% He's yours for hours. 00:03:54.360 --> 00:03:57.960 align:middle line:90% We shall continue please. 00:03:57.960 --> 00:04:02.100 align:middle line:84% Now, once again, he bends to the skull and it's clamped tissues. 00:04:02.100 --> 00:04:05.460 align:middle line:84% Into the cranial cavity, he plunges both of his hands 00:04:05.460 --> 00:04:11.250 align:middle line:84% like obstetric forceps and lifts out the great brain, 00:04:11.250 --> 00:04:16.279 align:middle line:84% holds it aloft then gives it to the next who stands beside him. 00:04:16.279 --> 00:04:22.200 align:middle line:84% Each in turn accepts it, although loath, 00:04:22.200 --> 00:04:25.290 align:middle line:84% turns it this way, that way, feels it 00:04:25.290 --> 00:04:30.930 align:middle line:84% between his hands like a wasps nest or some sickening 00:04:30.930 --> 00:04:34.460 align:middle line:90% outsized growth. 00:04:34.460 --> 00:04:37.700 align:middle line:84% They must decide what thoughts, each part of it must think, 00:04:37.700 --> 00:04:42.920 align:middle line:84% they tap at, then listen beside each suspect lobe. 00:04:42.920 --> 00:04:45.960 align:middle line:84% Next, with a crow's quill dipped into India ink, 00:04:45.960 --> 00:04:50.150 align:middle line:84% they mark on its surface as if on a map or globe 00:04:50.150 --> 00:04:56.240 align:middle line:84% those dangerous areas which need to be excised. 00:04:56.240 --> 00:05:02.060 align:middle line:84% They rinse it, then apply antiseptics to it. 00:05:02.060 --> 00:05:08.630 align:middle line:84% Now, silver saws appear which inch by inch, 00:05:08.630 --> 00:05:15.230 align:middle line:84% slice through its ancient folds and ridges like thick suet. 00:05:15.230 --> 00:05:19.490 align:middle line:84% It's rinsed, dried and daubed with thick salves. 00:05:19.490 --> 00:05:24.170 align:middle line:84% The smoky saws are scrubbed re-sterilized and polished 00:05:24.170 --> 00:05:26.340 align:middle line:90% till they gleam. 00:05:26.340 --> 00:05:29.790 align:middle line:84% The brain is repacked in its case. 00:05:29.790 --> 00:05:32.010 align:middle line:84% Pinched in their claws, glimmering needles 00:05:32.010 --> 00:05:38.050 align:middle line:84% stitch it up, that leave no seam. 00:05:38.050 --> 00:05:41.410 align:middle line:84% Meantime, one of them has set blinders to the eyes, 00:05:41.410 --> 00:05:43.720 align:middle line:84% inserted light packing beneath each of the ears, 00:05:43.720 --> 00:05:46.390 align:middle line:90% and calked the nostrils in. 00:05:46.390 --> 00:05:50.080 align:middle line:84% One, with thin twine ties the genitals off. 00:05:50.080 --> 00:05:54.010 align:middle line:84% With long wooden handles shears, another chops 00:05:54.010 --> 00:05:57.370 align:middle line:84% pinions out of the scarlet wings. 00:05:57.370 --> 00:06:04.270 align:middle line:84% It's hoped that with disuse, he will forget the sky, 00:06:04.270 --> 00:06:08.980 align:middle line:84% or at least in time, learn among other things 00:06:08.980 --> 00:06:12.715 align:middle line:84% to fly no higher than his superiors fly. 00:06:12.715 --> 00:06:15.790 align:middle line:90% 00:06:15.790 --> 00:06:19.900 align:middle line:90% Well, that's a beginning. 00:06:19.900 --> 00:06:22.300 align:middle line:84% The next time they can split his tongue 00:06:22.300 --> 00:06:24.880 align:middle line:84% and teach him to talk correctly, can give him 00:06:24.880 --> 00:06:28.490 align:middle line:84% opinions on fine books, and shoes, 00:06:28.490 --> 00:06:32.920 align:middle line:84% clothing fit for the integrated area where he'll live. 00:06:32.920 --> 00:06:35.590 align:middle line:84% Well, their candidate may live to give them thanks one day. 00:06:35.590 --> 00:06:40.060 align:middle line:84% He will recover and may hope for such success. 00:06:40.060 --> 00:06:44.980 align:middle line:84% He might return to join their ranks. 00:06:44.980 --> 00:06:51.550 align:middle line:84% Bowing away, they nod, whispering, one of ours, 00:06:51.550 --> 00:06:55.630 align:middle line:90% one of ours, yes, yes." 00:06:55.630 --> 00:06:58.980 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:06:58.980 --> 00:07:08.000 align:middle line:90%