WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.910 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.910 --> 00:00:03.645 align:middle line:90% And this is "Against the Wind." 00:00:03.645 --> 00:00:08.710 align:middle line:90% 00:00:08.710 --> 00:00:16.450 align:middle line:84% "My first wife's older sister's third husband's daughter, 00:00:16.450 --> 00:00:21.220 align:middle line:84% that's about as long as a line of poetry should be. 00:00:21.220 --> 00:00:24.880 align:middle line:84% A field anthropologist's kinship map? 00:00:24.880 --> 00:00:27.160 align:middle line:90% Karmic debris? 00:00:27.160 --> 00:00:32.680 align:middle line:84% The genealogical chart at the back of a family saga? 00:00:32.680 --> 00:00:35.680 align:middle line:84% The reckless patterns of the lives 00:00:35.680 --> 00:00:40.720 align:middle line:84% of a generation for whom desire hollows us out and hollows us 00:00:40.720 --> 00:00:46.780 align:middle line:84% out, just sailed by me on the sunny street. 00:00:46.780 --> 00:00:49.600 align:middle line:90% I could have changed her diaper. 00:00:49.600 --> 00:00:54.520 align:middle line:84% Desire that kills us and kills us and raises us up 00:00:54.520 --> 00:00:57.100 align:middle line:90% and raises us up. 00:00:57.100 --> 00:01:01.690 align:middle line:84% Always laughable, seen from the outside. 00:01:01.690 --> 00:01:06.010 align:middle line:84% The English wit who complained of sex that the posture was 00:01:06.010 --> 00:01:10.870 align:middle line:84% ridiculous, had not been struck down by the god or goddess 00:01:10.870 --> 00:01:15.310 align:middle line:84% to whose marble threshing floor offerings of grapes, 00:01:15.310 --> 00:01:18.520 align:middle line:84% or olive boughs, or flowers, or branches 00:01:18.520 --> 00:01:22.360 align:middle line:84% heavy-laden with new fruit, or bound bundles 00:01:22.360 --> 00:01:24.850 align:middle line:84% of heavy-headed wheat were brought 00:01:24.850 --> 00:01:27.565 align:middle line:84% as to any other mystery or power. 00:01:27.565 --> 00:01:33.530 align:middle line:90% 00:01:33.530 --> 00:01:37.330 align:middle line:84% I remember my first wife's older sister 00:01:37.330 --> 00:01:40.540 align:middle line:84% sitting on the back steps on a summer night, 00:01:40.540 --> 00:01:44.320 align:middle line:84% sick with her dilemma, smoking cigarettes 00:01:44.320 --> 00:01:48.640 align:middle line:84% while bats veered above the shriveled persimmons 00:01:48.640 --> 00:01:51.010 align:middle line:90% on the tree in the half-light. 00:01:51.010 --> 00:01:54.490 align:middle line:84% And the scraping sound of a neighbor cleaning off 00:01:54.490 --> 00:01:57.850 align:middle line:84% the grill of a barbecue with a wire brush 00:01:57.850 --> 00:02:02.200 align:middle line:84% came across the backyard fence like a chorus 00:02:02.200 --> 00:02:05.050 align:middle line:90% of ratcheting wrens. 00:02:05.050 --> 00:02:10.419 align:middle line:84% He's the nicest man I could imagine, she had said. 00:02:10.419 --> 00:02:14.740 align:middle line:84% And I feel like I'm dying, living with him. 00:02:14.740 --> 00:02:18.370 align:middle line:84% Probably in her mid-thirties then, 00:02:18.370 --> 00:02:21.490 align:middle line:84% flea markets on Saturday mornings, 00:02:21.490 --> 00:02:26.170 align:middle line:84% family dinners on Sundays, a family large enough so 00:02:26.170 --> 00:02:27.790 align:middle line:84% that there was always a birthday, 00:02:27.790 --> 00:02:30.610 align:middle line:84% some maiden aunt from the old neighborhood 00:02:30.610 --> 00:02:33.370 align:middle line:84% in San Francisco, or a brother-in-law, 00:02:33.370 --> 00:02:35.980 align:middle line:90% or one of the children. 00:02:35.980 --> 00:02:40.450 align:middle line:84% Had not lived where tearing or, like burnished leaves 00:02:40.450 --> 00:02:44.230 align:middle line:84% in the vortex of wind, the part of you that might observe 00:02:44.230 --> 00:02:49.240 align:middle line:84% the comedy of gasps and moans, ass up in the air, 00:02:49.240 --> 00:02:53.410 align:middle line:84% gives way, does not demure, though she did laugh 00:02:53.410 --> 00:02:57.010 align:middle line:84% at herself, an erotic attachment one 00:02:57.010 --> 00:03:01.960 align:middle line:84% whole winter to the mouth of a particular television actor. 00:03:01.960 --> 00:03:05.830 align:middle line:84% She turned the TV on, watching for a minute with a kind 00:03:05.830 --> 00:03:10.840 align:middle line:84% sick yearning, shake her head, turn the TV off, go back 00:03:10.840 --> 00:03:13.930 align:middle line:84% to the translation of the letters of Van Gogh, 00:03:13.930 --> 00:03:15.820 align:middle line:90% or do some ironing. 00:03:15.820 --> 00:03:18.850 align:middle line:84% That always seemed to calm her down, she said, 00:03:18.850 --> 00:03:24.640 align:middle line:84% the sweet smell, the sweet iron smell of steam and lemon. 00:03:24.640 --> 00:03:28.570 align:middle line:84% Honest to god, she'd say about herself, 00:03:28.570 --> 00:03:32.260 align:middle line:84% an expression the elderly aunts might have used. 00:03:32.260 --> 00:03:34.960 align:middle line:90% For Pete's sake, she'd say. 00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:37.940 align:middle line:90% Get yourself together. 00:03:37.940 --> 00:03:42.650 align:middle line:84% A hollow flute or bell not struck, 00:03:42.650 --> 00:03:48.680 align:middle line:84% settling out in a great shimmering not-sound in waves 00:03:48.680 --> 00:03:52.460 align:middle line:84% and waves to the place where the stunned dead 00:03:52.460 --> 00:03:55.040 align:middle line:84% in the not-beginning are gathered 00:03:55.040 --> 00:03:58.550 align:middle line:84% to the arms of the living in the not-noon. 00:03:58.550 --> 00:04:00.320 align:middle line:90% Who breathed them? 00:04:00.320 --> 00:04:06.350 align:middle line:84% Who rage against and breathe the always solicited, always 00:04:06.350 --> 00:04:12.140 align:middle line:84% unattended dead in the tiered plazas or lush meadows 00:04:12.140 --> 00:04:15.050 align:middle line:90% of their gathered absence? 00:04:15.050 --> 00:04:18.470 align:middle line:90% A man wants a woman that way. 00:04:18.470 --> 00:04:26.780 align:middle line:84% A person, a person, down on all fours, ravenous and humbled. 00:04:26.780 --> 00:04:33.350 align:middle line:84% And later, lovers, you remember the shoeshine boys in Quito, 00:04:33.350 --> 00:04:36.320 align:middle line:90% in that seedy city market? 00:04:36.320 --> 00:04:40.460 align:middle line:84% Missing teeth, unlaced tennis shoes, 00:04:40.460 --> 00:04:42.710 align:middle line:90% they approach you smiling. 00:04:42.710 --> 00:04:46.970 align:middle line:84% They have no rules and they'll steal anything. 00:04:46.970 --> 00:04:51.240 align:middle line:84% And so would you, if you were them. 00:04:51.240 --> 00:04:56.840 align:middle line:84% The capital has been sacked, the temple hangings burned, 00:04:56.840 --> 00:05:01.340 align:middle line:84% and the peasants are roasting the royal swans in the ruins 00:05:01.340 --> 00:05:05.930 align:middle line:84% over a makeshift fire made from the sticks of the tax 00:05:05.930 --> 00:05:11.030 align:middle line:84% assessor's empire chair up against a broke wall. 00:05:11.030 --> 00:05:16.850 align:middle line:84% It's Lent, the saints' bodies dressed in purple sacks, 00:05:16.850 --> 00:05:20.330 align:middle line:90% will be taken off at Easter. 00:05:20.330 --> 00:05:23.990 align:middle line:84% For Magdalene, of course, the Resurrection 00:05:23.990 --> 00:05:27.180 align:middle line:90% didn't mean she got him back. 00:05:27.180 --> 00:05:32.000 align:middle line:84% It meant she'd lost him in another way. 00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:38.060 align:middle line:84% And she knew she had to put that loss away, to fold it calmly 00:05:38.060 --> 00:05:40.850 align:middle line:90% into its silences. 00:05:40.850 --> 00:05:47.270 align:middle line:84% It was the voice she loved, the body, not the god, 00:05:47.270 --> 00:05:54.220 align:middle line:84% or the idea of the body, which was, perhaps, the god." 00:05:54.220 --> 00:05:55.000 align:middle line:90%