WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.880 align:middle line:90%
[APPLAUSE]

00:00:01.880 --> 00:00:06.580 align:middle line:90%


00:00:06.580 --> 00:00:07.530 align:middle line:90%
Thank you.

00:00:07.530 --> 00:00:12.090 align:middle line:84%
I'll tell you the first poem--
the first dog is a bad dog.

00:00:12.090 --> 00:00:13.920 align:middle line:84%
And the second poem's
about a good dog.

00:00:13.920 --> 00:00:17.430 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:00:17.430 --> 00:00:20.640 align:middle line:84%
And the bad dog belongs
to the neighbor.

00:00:20.640 --> 00:00:22.260 align:middle line:90%
And the good dog is my dog.

00:00:22.260 --> 00:00:25.100 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:00:25.100 --> 00:00:27.627 align:middle line:90%
More than you need to know.

00:00:27.627 --> 00:00:29.210 align:middle line:84%
So this is the poem
about the bad dog.

00:00:29.210 --> 00:00:30.890 align:middle line:84%
And it's called,
"Another Reason Why I

00:00:30.890 --> 00:00:32.300 align:middle line:90%
Don't Keep a Gun in the House."

00:00:32.300 --> 00:00:37.490 align:middle line:90%


00:00:37.490 --> 00:00:39.680 align:middle line:84%
"The neighbor's dog
will not stop barking.

00:00:39.680 --> 00:00:43.610 align:middle line:84%
He is barking the same
high rhythmic bark

00:00:43.610 --> 00:00:46.040 align:middle line:84%
that he barks every time
they leave the house.

00:00:46.040 --> 00:00:48.500 align:middle line:84%
They must switch him
on on their way out.

00:00:48.500 --> 00:00:49.460 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:00:49.460 --> 00:00:51.410 align:middle line:84%
The neighbor's dog
will not stop barking.

00:00:51.410 --> 00:00:53.750 align:middle line:84%
I close all the
windows in the house

00:00:53.750 --> 00:00:57.110 align:middle line:84%
and put on a Beethoven
Symphony full blast.

00:00:57.110 --> 00:01:00.230 align:middle line:84%
But I can still hear him
muffled under the music--

00:01:00.230 --> 00:01:02.750 align:middle line:90%
barking, barking, barking.

00:01:02.750 --> 00:01:05.555 align:middle line:84%
And now I can see him
sitting in the orchestra.

00:01:05.555 --> 00:01:06.170 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:01:06.170 --> 00:01:11.960 align:middle line:84%
His head raised confidently,
as if Beethoven had included

00:01:11.960 --> 00:01:13.505 align:middle line:90%
a part for a barking dog.

00:01:13.505 --> 00:01:15.360 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:01:15.360 --> 00:01:19.140 align:middle line:84%
When the record finally
ends, he is still barking--

00:01:19.140 --> 00:01:22.290 align:middle line:84%
sitting there in the
oboe section, barking,

00:01:22.290 --> 00:01:26.100 align:middle line:84%
his eyes fixed on the
conductor, who is entreating him

00:01:26.100 --> 00:01:29.070 align:middle line:84%
with his baton while
the other musicians

00:01:29.070 --> 00:01:33.960 align:middle line:84%
listen in respectful silence to
the famous barking dog solo--

00:01:33.960 --> 00:01:35.670 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:01:35.670 --> 00:01:40.170 align:middle line:84%
that endless coda that
first established Beethoven

00:01:40.170 --> 00:01:41.580 align:middle line:90%
as an innovative genius."

00:01:41.580 --> 00:01:43.380 align:middle line:90%
[LAUGHTER]

00:01:43.380 --> 00:01:45.830 align:middle line:90%
[APPLAUSE]

00:01:45.830 --> 00:01:47.000 align:middle line:90%