WEBVTT

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Well right at the end
of writing this book.

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I became a dad.

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I now have a five-year-old.

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And so this-- as those of
us who are parents know--

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everything, yet, somehow,
also changed nothing.

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(LAUGHS) Everything
was the same,

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and everything was
different, both.

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Just twice as much stuff.

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So I just want to read
a few poems about that.

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This poem, I wrote on
that day that we found out

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that Justice Kennedy
was not going

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to be staying on
the Supreme Court

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it's just called, "Today."

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"Today, Justice Kennedy retired.

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Farewell, pious blowhard.

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From the dark, collective
grief of half of us,

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I stole one long hour to think--

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despair is a privilege
we can't afford.

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But, really, a few of us
totally can, which is,

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of course, precisely,
what creates

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the vacuum this continual,
impervious, self-satisfied,

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classic, righteous,
American malice can,

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gleefully, pour into to
crush everything, especially

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our clever laments.

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Today, all my
rich, white friends

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are talking again about leaving
for houses they have not yet

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decided to purchase
over the border.

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It's grotesque.

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Yet, I, too, admit, when we
finally realized our son,

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who remembers every song, would
not speak like all the others,

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moving deeper into places
we could not go, we,

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without hesitation-- in
fear, with our money--

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went over whatever we
thought separated us

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from a solution to this and,
also, other problems most

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don't even get to name.

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Today, in my hybrid, I,
too, see the blue tarps

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under the freeway as I drive
him to another appointment.

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He has the softest skin
and is never frantic.

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He loves when the trucks
get so dangerously close

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and sings the same
song I taught him

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years ago when I was in
despair about how to be happy.

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It's been so much
better, but, still,

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I walk around as if something
that cannot fail protects

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everything I need.

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And only now can I ask--

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what dream was I born into?

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And what will happen
when the dreamer wakes?

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