WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.450 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.450 --> 00:00:02.290 align:middle line:90% I am a professor. 00:00:02.290 --> 00:00:03.457 align:middle line:90% I know it's hard to believe. 00:00:03.457 --> 00:00:04.660 align:middle line:90% But I'm a professor. 00:00:04.660 --> 00:00:07.238 align:middle line:84% And every year-- there's probably 00:00:07.238 --> 00:00:08.530 align:middle line:90% professors in this room, right? 00:00:08.530 --> 00:00:16.100 align:middle line:84% And every year, commencement, you 00:00:16.100 --> 00:00:19.430 align:middle line:84% put on your robes, your fancy robes with the regalia on. 00:00:19.430 --> 00:00:22.370 align:middle line:84% And then you go up to sit on the stage 00:00:22.370 --> 00:00:24.770 align:middle line:84% and watch everybody get their diplomas. 00:00:24.770 --> 00:00:27.503 align:middle line:84% And it's like a big moment for the people 00:00:27.503 --> 00:00:28.670 align:middle line:90% getting the diplomas, right? 00:00:28.670 --> 00:00:30.710 align:middle line:84% So person after person, a huge moment, right? 00:00:30.710 --> 00:00:32.180 align:middle line:84% But for the person sitting there, 00:00:32.180 --> 00:00:35.570 align:middle line:84% you, it's like four hours of listening to people read names. 00:00:35.570 --> 00:00:36.380 align:middle line:90% And it's tough. 00:00:36.380 --> 00:00:39.050 align:middle line:84% Because, 95% of the people, you don't even know who they are. 00:00:39.050 --> 00:00:41.008 align:middle line:84% But you have to look very interested, you know? 00:00:41.008 --> 00:00:43.848 align:middle line:84% Because it's rude to not look interested and especially 00:00:43.848 --> 00:00:45.890 align:middle line:84% when somebody is like moment after moment, right? 00:00:45.890 --> 00:00:48.920 align:middle line:84% So the other year, I did this thing. 00:00:48.920 --> 00:00:51.582 align:middle line:84% And then but I decided I was going to try to write a poem. 00:00:51.582 --> 00:00:53.790 align:middle line:84% And you can't like be checking your phone or whatnot. 00:00:53.790 --> 00:00:56.270 align:middle line:84% So I was-- not that I would ever do that. 00:00:56.270 --> 00:00:58.910 align:middle line:90% But so I brought a notebook. 00:00:58.910 --> 00:01:00.050 align:middle line:90% And I just took notes. 00:01:00.050 --> 00:01:04.040 align:middle line:84% But look, with this kind of glassy like face of interest. 00:01:04.040 --> 00:01:05.058 align:middle line:90% And I took notes. 00:01:05.058 --> 00:01:06.350 align:middle line:90% And then I took the notes home. 00:01:06.350 --> 00:01:09.390 align:middle line:90% And I wrote this poem. 00:01:09.390 --> 00:01:12.210 align:middle line:84% So I mean, I do love commencement. 00:01:12.210 --> 00:01:13.460 align:middle line:90% It's not that I don't love it. 00:01:13.460 --> 00:01:14.270 align:middle line:90% It's just it's a lot. 00:01:14.270 --> 00:01:14.540 align:middle line:90% You know? 00:01:14.540 --> 00:01:16.985 align:middle line:84% It's like it's a lot to sit there for a couple-- there's 00:01:16.985 --> 00:01:17.870 align:middle line:90% a professors in here, right? 00:01:17.870 --> 00:01:19.130 align:middle line:84% You know what I'm talking about, right? 00:01:19.130 --> 00:01:20.240 align:middle line:90% It's like it's a lot. 00:01:20.240 --> 00:01:21.560 align:middle line:90% It's hot. 00:01:21.560 --> 00:01:23.750 align:middle line:90% So anyway. 00:01:23.750 --> 00:01:27.100 align:middle line:90% "Graduation Day." 00:01:27.100 --> 00:01:31.070 align:middle line:84% Drawn by ceremonial obligation up from sleep, 00:01:31.070 --> 00:01:36.040 align:middle line:84% I woke and stepped into the borrowed black robes, all ghost 00:01:36.040 --> 00:01:39.610 align:middle line:84% bureaucrats trained to redirect dreaming, 00:01:39.610 --> 00:01:42.610 align:middle line:90% pretend we do not like to wear. 00:01:42.610 --> 00:01:46.210 align:middle line:84% I drove my black car to the stadium to sit on stage 00:01:46.210 --> 00:01:51.460 align:middle line:84% and be watched, watching young, expectant spirits, one by one, 00:01:51.460 --> 00:01:56.830 align:middle line:84% with dread certainty pass before me, clouded in their names. 00:01:56.830 --> 00:01:59.260 align:middle line:84% Then listen to no one in their speeches 00:01:59.260 --> 00:02:03.910 align:middle line:84% say you're welcome for allowing us not to tell you it's already 00:02:03.910 --> 00:02:07.060 align:middle line:84% too late to learn anything or defend whatever 00:02:07.060 --> 00:02:09.789 align:middle line:84% accidental instrument in us causes 00:02:09.789 --> 00:02:11.890 align:middle line:90% all these useless thoughts. 00:02:11.890 --> 00:02:16.420 align:middle line:84% Like, if you walk for hours through the vast black avenues 00:02:16.420 --> 00:02:19.240 align:middle line:84% of those server farms all of us built 00:02:19.240 --> 00:02:22.000 align:middle line:84% with our endless attention, you could almost 00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:24.640 align:middle line:84% feel the same peaceful disinterest 00:02:24.640 --> 00:02:27.490 align:middle line:84% as when your parents, talking and smoking, 00:02:27.490 --> 00:02:31.780 align:middle line:84% raise their heads for a moment to smile and tell you, 00:02:31.780 --> 00:02:34.390 align:middle line:84% go back upstairs and read the book 00:02:34.390 --> 00:02:38.590 align:middle line:84% you love about myths that explain weather and death. 00:02:38.590 --> 00:02:40.360 align:middle line:90% Now it is almost June. 00:02:40.360 --> 00:02:43.930 align:middle line:84% And they're finally the children they always were. 00:02:43.930 --> 00:02:47.290 align:middle line:84% So more precise than anyone has ever had to be, 00:02:47.290 --> 00:02:49.480 align:middle line:84% go forget everything we told you. 00:02:49.480 --> 00:02:52.358 align:middle line:84% So you can fix what we kept destroying 00:02:52.358 --> 00:02:53.275 align:middle line:90% by calling the future. 00:02:53.275 --> 00:02:56.080 align:middle line:90% 00:02:56.080 --> 00:02:58.767 align:middle line:84% That's not going to be a popular one at the next commencement, 00:02:58.767 --> 00:02:59.350 align:middle line:90% I don't think. 00:02:59.350 --> 00:03:00.782 align:middle line:90% So-- 00:03:00.782 --> 00:03:01.282 align:middle line:90%