There's that clicky sound when you don't have a phone.
"And not surprisingly, these quantum
leaps arouse a certain degree of fear and jealousy
in many of the region's other Paleolithic villages,
which are still all in the pantheon, shamanistic, hunting
and gathering, hunch around the fire in it's cold stage
of cultural attainment.
And the United flight's narrative
focuses particularly on the reaction
of one large and formidable village, which
is ruled by a single autocratic shaman and a kind
of totalitarian theocracy.
And which has also historically dominated
this entire region of the rainforest and exacted tribute
from all the other villages.
This, both because their warriors are so fierce,
and because their autocratic shaman
is extremely ancient and politically
astute and merciless and frightening.
And is universally regarded as being, at the very least,
in league with the primitive rainforest's
diabolical white spirits.
Recall that this is an equatorial third world region.
Such that, here dark colors are apparently
associated with life and beneficent spiritual forces.
And light or whitish colors with death absence
and pantheism evil or malignant spirits.
And evidently, one reason why the dominant village's warriors
are so formidable is that the shaman
forces them to smear themselves with white or light colored
clay.
Or brown talc or some connescent indigenous substance
before battle.
Since then, according to legend, they
present the appearance of a regiment of evil spirits
or the risen dead coming at one with spears
and phytotoxic blowguns.
And the sight always so terrifies all the other
villagers' warriors that they quail and lose heart before
battle is even joined.
And the dominant villages had no serious opposition
since the necromantic shaman took charge many eons ago.
Even so, the more politically astute upper caste
of the dominant village eventually become
concerned, obviously, about this other village
with the messianically brilliant child.
They fear that as the child's village continues
to evolve and become more and more advanced and sophisticated
it will be only a matter of time before some precious member
of the little village's warrior caste comes before the child
and asks, quote, "How shall we attack and defeat
the village of, blank?"
The fellow could not understand or reproduce
the airline passenger's pronunciation
of the dominant village's name, which
evidently consisted mostly of glottal clicks and pops.
Read quote, "And take their lands and hunting grounds
for our own more advanced and sophisticated culture?"
close quote and so on.
And a delegation of the bellicose blank village's
upper caste citizens finally work up their nerve
and appear en masse for an audience
with their tyrannical shaman.
Who it emerges, is not only extremely ancient and powerful
but is in fact an albino with all extreme congenital power
connotes in this part of the prehistoric world.
And who, evidently, dwells in a small, austerely appointed lead
to just outside the dominant village's city limits.
And spends most of its time conducting
private, necromantic rituals that
involve playing crude musical arrangements with human tibias
and femurs on rows of differently
sized human skulls like some sort
of ghastly Paleolithic marimbas.
And the lead dominant villagers come and make
their customary obeisances as offerings.
And then lay out their concerns about the upstart village's
rapid development under the stewardship
of this brilliant juvenile lucis nature who, by the way,
we are informed has by this time when
presiding heirophantically from its raised central dais
for several solar cycles.
And is now something more like 10 years old.
And they've respectfully ask their necromantic leader
whether he's perhaps had a chance to give any thought
to the uber child issue.
And, or might see fit to intervene before the child's
upstart village becomes so advanced
that even the predacious blank village's albacete warriors
are no match for it."
At which point, we're going to stop right there.
Thank you very much.
[APPLAUSE]