WEBVTT

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There's that clicky sound
when you don't have a phone.

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"And not surprisingly,
these quantum

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leaps arouse a certain
degree of fear and jealousy

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in many of the region's
other Paleolithic villages,

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which are still all in the
pantheon, shamanistic, hunting

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and gathering, hunch around
the fire in it's cold stage

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of cultural attainment.

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And the United
flight's narrative

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focuses particularly
on the reaction

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of one large and
formidable village, which

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is ruled by a single
autocratic shaman and a kind

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of totalitarian theocracy.

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And which has also
historically dominated

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this entire region of the
rainforest and exacted tribute

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from all the other villages.

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This, both because their
warriors are so fierce,

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and because their
autocratic shaman

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is extremely ancient
and politically

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astute and merciless
and frightening.

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And is universally regarded
as being, at the very least,

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in league with the
primitive rainforest's

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diabolical white spirits.

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Recall that this is an
equatorial third world region.

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Such that, here dark
colors are apparently

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associated with life and
beneficent spiritual forces.

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And light or whitish
colors with death absence

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and pantheism evil
or malignant spirits.

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And evidently, one reason why
the dominant village's warriors

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are so formidable
is that the shaman

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forces them to smear themselves
with white or light colored

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clay.

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Or brown talc or some
connescent indigenous substance

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before battle.

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Since then, according
to legend, they

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present the appearance of
a regiment of evil spirits

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or the risen dead coming
at one with spears

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and phytotoxic blowguns.

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And the sight always so
terrifies all the other

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villagers' warriors that they
quail and lose heart before

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battle is even joined.

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And the dominant villages
had no serious opposition

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since the necromantic shaman
took charge many eons ago.

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Even so, the more politically
astute upper caste

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of the dominant village
eventually become

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concerned, obviously,
about this other village

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with the messianically
brilliant child.

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They fear that as the
child's village continues

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to evolve and become more and
more advanced and sophisticated

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it will be only a matter of
time before some precious member

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of the little village's warrior
caste comes before the child

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and asks, quote, "How
shall we attack and defeat

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the village of, blank?"

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The fellow could not
understand or reproduce

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the airline passenger's
pronunciation

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of the dominant
village's name, which

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evidently consisted mostly
of glottal clicks and pops.

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Read quote, "And take their
lands and hunting grounds

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for our own more advanced
and sophisticated culture?"

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close quote and so on.

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And a delegation of the
bellicose blank village's

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upper caste citizens
finally work up their nerve

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and appear en masse
for an audience

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with their tyrannical shaman.

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Who it emerges, is not only
extremely ancient and powerful

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but is in fact an albino with
all extreme congenital power

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connotes in this part of
the prehistoric world.

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And who, evidently, dwells in a
small, austerely appointed lead

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to just outside the dominant
village's city limits.

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And spends most of
its time conducting

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private, necromantic
rituals that

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involve playing crude musical
arrangements with human tibias

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and femurs on rows
of differently

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sized human skulls
like some sort

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of ghastly Paleolithic marimbas.

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And the lead dominant
villagers come and make

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their customary
obeisances as offerings.

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And then lay out their concerns
about the upstart village's

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rapid development
under the stewardship

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of this brilliant juvenile
lucis nature who, by the way,

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we are informed has
by this time when

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presiding heirophantically
from its raised central dais

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for several solar cycles.

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And is now something
more like 10 years old.

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And they've respectfully
ask their necromantic leader

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whether he's perhaps had a
chance to give any thought

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to the uber child issue.

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And, or might see fit to
intervene before the child's

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upstart village
becomes so advanced

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that even the predacious blank
village's albacete warriors

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are no match for it."

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At which point, we're
going to stop right there.

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Thank you very much.

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[APPLAUSE]

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