WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.900 align:middle line:84% "He says something cheery, and I say something cheery back. 00:00:04.900 --> 00:00:08.340 align:middle line:84% He asked me to open my mouth, and his gloved hand 00:00:08.340 --> 00:00:13.200 align:middle line:84% is already trailing over the poking and scraping tools. 00:00:13.200 --> 00:00:16.470 align:middle line:84% The ugly light is shining in my eyes. 00:00:16.470 --> 00:00:20.100 align:middle line:84% Have I mentioned that I brush my teeth three times a day 00:00:20.100 --> 00:00:23.730 align:middle line:84% and that I floss, not exactly every day but somewhat 00:00:23.730 --> 00:00:25.140 align:middle line:90% regularly? 00:00:25.140 --> 00:00:27.720 align:middle line:84% I got all my cavities taken care of when I was a kid, 00:00:27.720 --> 00:00:30.030 align:middle line:84% and I always go to my six month appointments. 00:00:30.030 --> 00:00:32.159 align:middle line:90% What do they want-- blood? 00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:35.010 align:middle line:84% A wondrous poet I know, 93 fucking years old, 00:00:35.010 --> 00:00:36.930 align:middle line:90% has just gotten two root canals. 00:00:36.930 --> 00:00:39.330 align:middle line:84% Can you believe in God when something like that happens? 00:00:39.330 --> 00:00:43.140 align:middle line:90% Is there no dispensation? 00:00:43.140 --> 00:00:45.360 align:middle line:84% It's not enough that I've opened my mouth. 00:00:45.360 --> 00:00:46.590 align:middle line:90% I have bad breath. 00:00:46.590 --> 00:00:49.050 align:middle line:90% I'm a bad person. 00:00:49.050 --> 00:00:51.240 align:middle line:84% But there's the TV screen to look at, 00:00:51.240 --> 00:00:55.050 align:middle line:84% and I want to confess as if my mouth hasn't said it all-- 00:00:55.050 --> 00:00:58.140 align:middle line:84% that I have made many, many mistakes in my life, 00:00:58.140 --> 00:01:00.570 align:middle line:84% and I am extremely fallible and mortal. 00:01:00.570 --> 00:01:02.580 align:middle line:84% And I don't expect a lot from my teeth, 00:01:02.580 --> 00:01:04.440 align:middle line:90% but they are mine after all. 00:01:04.440 --> 00:01:04.989 align:middle line:90% It is. 00:01:04.989 --> 00:01:05.489 align:middle line:90% Isn't it? 00:01:05.489 --> 00:01:06.390 align:middle line:90% My body. 00:01:06.390 --> 00:01:10.260 align:middle line:90% I mean, I kind of like my body. 00:01:10.260 --> 00:01:12.300 align:middle line:84% My knuckles have gone red, and my poems 00:01:12.300 --> 00:01:15.120 align:middle line:84% are damp, nails ragged and itchy. 00:01:15.120 --> 00:01:18.300 align:middle line:84% The dentist in his white mask and his plastic eye gear, 00:01:18.300 --> 00:01:21.060 align:middle line:84% leans back, takes off his rubber gloves, 00:01:21.060 --> 00:01:24.870 align:middle line:84% and begins using his red flashlight pointer to show 00:01:24.870 --> 00:01:28.640 align:middle line:90% me the problems with my teeth. 00:01:28.640 --> 00:01:30.680 align:middle line:84% We've got eight old fillings that soon-- that 00:01:30.680 --> 00:01:33.290 align:middle line:84% need to be replaced, and here's a new cavity. 00:01:33.290 --> 00:01:36.350 align:middle line:84% And this tooth will need a cap very soon, which 00:01:36.350 --> 00:01:38.840 align:middle line:84% doesn't guarantee you won't need a root canal later, 00:01:38.840 --> 00:01:41.120 align:middle line:90% but it will help. 00:01:41.120 --> 00:01:43.610 align:middle line:90% I go into a trance again. 00:01:43.610 --> 00:01:45.770 align:middle line:90% Science is good. 00:01:45.770 --> 00:01:48.500 align:middle line:90% Men in white are good. 00:01:48.500 --> 00:01:51.290 align:middle line:90% Men are good-- humanity. 00:01:51.290 --> 00:01:55.370 align:middle line:90% This dentist is my friend. 00:01:55.370 --> 00:01:59.150 align:middle line:84% He's got an excellent video collection, and a spy camera, 00:01:59.150 --> 00:02:02.870 align:middle line:90% and a little red pointer thingy. 00:02:02.870 --> 00:02:06.110 align:middle line:84% This is what you'd call progress-- technology 00:02:06.110 --> 00:02:10.820 align:middle line:84% and my mouth, which has seemed fine all this time is probably 00:02:10.820 --> 00:02:15.410 align:middle line:84% very likely indeed in need of some very big repairs. 00:02:15.410 --> 00:02:18.080 align:middle line:84% Should it matter that the tooth the dentist wants to cap 00:02:18.080 --> 00:02:20.030 align:middle line:84% is one that he's just recently fixed 00:02:20.030 --> 00:02:22.160 align:middle line:84% by replacing it's filling, and that now he's 00:02:22.160 --> 00:02:24.860 align:middle line:84% explaining that there's more filling than tooth? 00:02:24.860 --> 00:02:26.120 align:middle line:90% How'd that happen? 00:02:26.120 --> 00:02:28.940 align:middle line:84% And I can feel with my tongue that it's 00:02:28.940 --> 00:02:31.550 align:middle line:84% a little jagged frontier, and now, 00:02:31.550 --> 00:02:34.880 align:middle line:84% with this picture on the screen, this image of what once was 00:02:34.880 --> 00:02:39.050 align:middle line:90% a molar, whole and complete? 00:02:39.050 --> 00:02:42.950 align:middle line:84% He said, no, and I went over to the party anyway. 00:02:42.950 --> 00:02:46.490 align:middle line:84% But he wasn't a scientist or a doctor. 00:02:46.490 --> 00:02:49.820 align:middle line:84% On the other hand, I had a suspicion, a doubt, 00:02:49.820 --> 00:02:54.350 align:middle line:84% something in the back of my mouth like a silver filling. 00:02:54.350 --> 00:02:56.510 align:middle line:84% If I had said, no, back, then it would 00:02:56.510 --> 00:02:59.420 align:middle line:84% have been that little silver filling talking. 00:02:59.420 --> 00:03:03.830 align:middle line:84% My dark mouth would have made a word, a new word, a good word 00:03:03.830 --> 00:03:07.280 align:middle line:90% under the circumstance. 00:03:07.280 --> 00:03:09.110 align:middle line:90% I'm in the seat of the car. 00:03:09.110 --> 00:03:11.630 align:middle line:84% The man next to me has logic on his side. 00:03:11.630 --> 00:03:14.930 align:middle line:90% After all, it is almost morning. 00:03:14.930 --> 00:03:17.600 align:middle line:84% I could take action, and then go home to sleep. 00:03:17.600 --> 00:03:21.650 align:middle line:84% I could believe him, believe his whole world, give him my money. 00:03:21.650 --> 00:03:25.700 align:middle line:84% I could give over my mouth to him. 00:03:25.700 --> 00:03:29.300 align:middle line:84% The little red beam trembles around the edge of my cavity. 00:03:29.300 --> 00:03:32.090 align:middle line:90% See? 00:03:32.090 --> 00:03:35.360 align:middle line:84% I used to consult the tarot cards when I was in love, 00:03:35.360 --> 00:03:38.630 align:middle line:84% and the tarot cards would tell me things. 00:03:38.630 --> 00:03:42.950 align:middle line:84% In the quiet privacy of my own bed, in my own tiny apartment, 00:03:42.950 --> 00:03:45.350 align:middle line:84% by the light of a votive candle, I'd 00:03:45.350 --> 00:03:49.040 align:middle line:84% consult the chance gravity of the picture cards. 00:03:49.040 --> 00:03:51.230 align:middle line:90% They tell me what to do. 00:03:51.230 --> 00:03:55.100 align:middle line:84% It was an inexact science, and I'd pursed my lip-- 00:03:55.100 --> 00:03:59.180 align:middle line:84% and I pursed my mouth, and be quiet, and listen. 00:03:59.180 --> 00:04:01.490 align:middle line:84% I tried to remember what I knew from before-- 00:04:01.490 --> 00:04:03.500 align:middle line:90% you know, my real life. 00:04:03.500 --> 00:04:05.510 align:middle line:84% And I'd flipped to the page in the book that 00:04:05.510 --> 00:04:11.600 align:middle line:84% would tell me something else, something perhaps revelatory. 00:04:11.600 --> 00:04:14.000 align:middle line:90% In my purse, the pamphlets wait. 00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:16.700 align:middle line:90% They have identified things. 00:04:16.700 --> 00:04:19.160 align:middle line:84% The waiting room itself, should I come back, 00:04:19.160 --> 00:04:22.040 align:middle line:90% is filled with possibility. 00:04:22.040 --> 00:04:25.610 align:middle line:84% The dentist is waiting for me to respond to his report 00:04:25.610 --> 00:04:29.450 align:middle line:84% on the inside of my mouth, on the fairly disastrous condition 00:04:29.450 --> 00:04:32.570 align:middle line:84% it seems to have fallen into and all these years 00:04:32.570 --> 00:04:36.320 align:middle line:84% of baffled learning, and glorious one night stands, 00:04:36.320 --> 00:04:39.020 align:middle line:84% and painstaking party going, and then 00:04:39.020 --> 00:04:42.650 align:middle line:84% lots of other good and more homespun things. 00:04:42.650 --> 00:04:45.590 align:middle line:84% He doesn't care if I go to church on Sunday, 00:04:45.590 --> 00:04:48.710 align:middle line:84% or that I left my tarot cards with a woman who tended bar 00:04:48.710 --> 00:04:52.940 align:middle line:84% in Sheridan, Wyoming, a biker who told fortunes. 00:04:52.940 --> 00:04:56.000 align:middle line:84% 'I trust everyone, I want to shout. 00:04:56.000 --> 00:04:57.920 align:middle line:90% I trust you implicitly'." 00:04:57.920 --> 00:04:59.040 align:middle line:90% [PAGE FLIPS] 00:04:59.040 --> 00:04:59.540 align:middle line:90% Thanks. 00:04:59.540 --> 00:05:02.290 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:05:02.290 --> 00:05:04.000 align:middle line:90%