WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.590 align:middle line:90% 00:00:04.590 --> 00:00:06.870 align:middle line:84% And cookies after tonight's reading. 00:00:06.870 --> 00:00:09.360 align:middle line:90% Up in the terrace lounge. 00:00:09.360 --> 00:00:10.680 align:middle line:90% Upstairs above books store. 00:00:10.680 --> 00:00:14.430 align:middle line:90% 00:00:14.430 --> 00:00:19.920 align:middle line:84% Our next reading will be one week from tonight, the 27th, 00:00:19.920 --> 00:00:21.990 align:middle line:90% in the terrace lounge. 00:00:21.990 --> 00:00:24.690 align:middle line:90% We have six students reading. 00:00:24.690 --> 00:00:29.520 align:middle line:84% Two graduate students, Barbara Anderson, Michael Collier. 00:00:29.520 --> 00:00:35.130 align:middle line:84% Four undergraduate students, Shane Parker, Cassius Thomas, 00:00:35.130 --> 00:00:38.190 align:middle line:90% Judy Drash and Julie Wilson. 00:00:38.190 --> 00:00:41.430 align:middle line:84% And that will be at 8:30 on the 27th. 00:00:41.430 --> 00:00:47.020 align:middle line:84% This coming Sunday the 23rd, at 1 o'clock in the afternoon, 00:00:47.020 --> 00:00:51.750 align:middle line:84% there will be a special benefit reading at the loft theater. 00:00:51.750 --> 00:00:54.900 align:middle line:84% It's sponsored by the National Organization 00:00:54.900 --> 00:00:57.600 align:middle line:90% for Women, to raise funds for-- 00:00:57.600 --> 00:00:59.400 align:middle line:90% [AUDIO OUT] 00:00:59.400 --> 00:01:02.958 align:middle line:84% --those two evenings will begin at 7 o'clock 00:01:02.958 --> 00:01:03.750 align:middle line:90% instead of 8:30 PM. 00:01:03.750 --> 00:01:07.400 align:middle line:90% 00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:11.090 align:middle line:84% Unfortunately, we couldn't get any of Mr Rogers books 00:01:11.090 --> 00:01:13.850 align:middle line:84% for sale tonight, but there will be some books of poetry 00:01:13.850 --> 00:01:15.170 align:middle line:90% for sale at the reception. 00:01:15.170 --> 00:01:23.300 align:middle line:90% 00:01:23.300 --> 00:01:26.450 align:middle line:84% Thomas Rogers was educated at Harvard College, 00:01:26.450 --> 00:01:28.970 align:middle line:90% the University of Iowa. 00:01:28.970 --> 00:01:32.840 align:middle line:84% Since 1961, he has been teaching at Pennsylvania State 00:01:32.840 --> 00:01:34.760 align:middle line:90% University. 00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:39.150 align:middle line:84% He's also taught at Iowa and at the University of Chicago. 00:01:39.150 --> 00:01:43.640 align:middle line:84% His honors include a Guggenheim Fellowship, National Institute 00:01:43.640 --> 00:01:47.150 align:middle line:84% of Arts and Letters, Rosenthal Foundation Award 00:01:47.150 --> 00:01:52.760 align:middle line:84% for a work of considerable literary achievement. 00:01:52.760 --> 00:01:56.650 align:middle line:84% His two novels, The Pursuit of Happiness, 00:01:56.650 --> 00:02:00.780 align:middle line:84% which has been translated into French, German, and Japanese, 00:02:00.780 --> 00:02:03.435 align:middle line:90% and made into a movie. 00:02:03.435 --> 00:02:07.080 align:middle line:84% The Confession of a Child of the Century, 00:02:07.080 --> 00:02:12.090 align:middle line:84% was widely published in such magazines as, Life, Commentary 00:02:12.090 --> 00:02:13.770 align:middle line:90% and New Republic. 00:02:13.770 --> 00:02:16.440 align:middle line:84% Those of us who have already read his work 00:02:16.440 --> 00:02:18.360 align:middle line:84% know that we have a treat tonight in hearing 00:02:18.360 --> 00:02:19.650 align:middle line:90% some work in progress. 00:02:19.650 --> 00:02:20.670 align:middle line:90% Mr. Thomas Rogers. 00:02:20.670 --> 00:02:23.538 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:02:23.538 --> 00:02:28.810 align:middle line:90% 00:02:28.810 --> 00:02:30.250 align:middle line:90% Thank you. 00:02:30.250 --> 00:02:31.690 align:middle line:90% Cough medicine. 00:02:31.690 --> 00:02:36.490 align:middle line:90% 00:02:36.490 --> 00:02:39.670 align:middle line:84% I get impatient when poets and novelists explain to you how, 00:02:39.670 --> 00:02:41.530 align:middle line:84% why, when and where they wrote what 00:02:41.530 --> 00:02:44.500 align:middle line:90% they're about to read to you. 00:02:44.500 --> 00:02:47.060 align:middle line:84% If it's good, then it doesn't matter why they wrote it, 00:02:47.060 --> 00:02:48.830 align:middle line:84% and if it's bad, it still doesn't matter. 00:02:48.830 --> 00:02:51.730 align:middle line:90% So I will simply start. 00:02:51.730 --> 00:02:53.650 align:middle line:90% This is a work in progress. 00:02:53.650 --> 00:02:58.900 align:middle line:84% In order to give sort of a sequential reading 00:02:58.900 --> 00:03:02.360 align:middle line:84% of the first episode, I'll skip some pages. 00:03:02.360 --> 00:03:06.352 align:middle line:90% I hope the continuity holds up. 00:03:06.352 --> 00:03:08.560 align:middle line:84% The book as a whole is called, The Desire and Pursuit 00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:09.460 align:middle line:90% of the Whole. 00:03:09.460 --> 00:03:12.830 align:middle line:84% And the first section, which I'm reading tonight, 00:03:12.830 --> 00:03:14.230 align:middle line:90% the beginning of the book. 00:03:14.230 --> 00:03:23.920 align:middle line:84% Coming of age in Indiana shore's, parenthesis (1948). 00:03:23.920 --> 00:03:27.470 align:middle line:84% To come out of the lake after a long swim 00:03:27.470 --> 00:03:31.400 align:middle line:84% and to fling himself onto the hot sand, that was a pleasure. 00:03:31.400 --> 00:03:34.250 align:middle line:84% To feel the sand warm on his chest and the sun 00:03:34.250 --> 00:03:37.520 align:middle line:84% warming his back, that was a pleasure. 00:03:37.520 --> 00:03:41.570 align:middle line:84% And then, to sail his lightning on a bright summer day 00:03:41.570 --> 00:03:46.130 align:middle line:84% sheet in one hand, tiller in the other, his brown legs braced 00:03:46.130 --> 00:03:48.170 align:middle line:84% against the combing as he leaned out 00:03:48.170 --> 00:03:51.530 align:middle line:84% to windward using his own weight as leverage to counteract 00:03:51.530 --> 00:03:53.990 align:middle line:84% the press of wind against his sail. 00:03:53.990 --> 00:03:56.390 align:middle line:90% All that was a pleasure too. 00:03:56.390 --> 00:03:59.150 align:middle line:84% It was even a pleasure on windy days 00:03:59.150 --> 00:04:01.670 align:middle line:84% to feel the boat tremble, to feel it slip in the water 00:04:01.670 --> 00:04:03.560 align:middle line:90% before it went over. 00:04:03.560 --> 00:04:07.220 align:middle line:84% And then, grinning in the wave torn lake, 00:04:07.220 --> 00:04:09.470 align:middle line:84% it was somehow a pleasure to watch full force and sail 00:04:09.470 --> 00:04:13.140 align:middle line:84% by in his own lightning, making the derisory sign at him 00:04:13.140 --> 00:04:16.440 align:middle line:84% because he, Engels, had gone over again. 00:04:16.440 --> 00:04:17.970 align:middle line:84% Or if the link were getting rough 00:04:17.970 --> 00:04:20.730 align:middle line:84% instead of giving him the finger so he might call out, 00:04:20.730 --> 00:04:22.910 align:middle line:90% you OK Jerry? 00:04:22.910 --> 00:04:27.080 align:middle line:84% He always was, one could easily write those lightnings. 00:04:27.080 --> 00:04:30.890 align:middle line:84% Minutes after going over he would be back aboard dripping 00:04:30.890 --> 00:04:32.330 align:middle line:90% from his immersion. 00:04:32.330 --> 00:04:35.000 align:middle line:84% Then with a wet sail flapping in the wind, 00:04:35.000 --> 00:04:38.450 align:middle line:84% the wind chilling his wet body he would collect the boat 00:04:38.450 --> 00:04:41.450 align:middle line:84% almost as one collected a horse, pushing down the dagger 00:04:41.450 --> 00:04:43.400 align:middle line:84% board with his foot resetting the tiller, 00:04:43.400 --> 00:04:46.160 align:middle line:84% gathering the sheet, and getting underway again. 00:04:46.160 --> 00:04:47.750 align:middle line:84% All of that was a great pleasure, 00:04:47.750 --> 00:04:50.120 align:middle line:84% but was it greater than the run along the beach, 00:04:50.120 --> 00:04:53.540 align:middle line:90% either alone or with foursome? 00:04:53.540 --> 00:04:56.180 align:middle line:84% In those days there was nothing but high dune grass covered, 00:04:56.180 --> 00:04:58.880 align:middle line:84% tree crowns, and miles to the West. 00:04:58.880 --> 00:05:01.970 align:middle line:84% After storms and the beach was wet and hard 00:05:01.970 --> 00:05:05.510 align:middle line:84% one could run for miles seeing nothing but dune and lake, 00:05:05.510 --> 00:05:07.875 align:middle line:84% except off to the Northwest where, 00:05:07.875 --> 00:05:10.250 align:middle line:84% especially when North winds had cleared the sky one could 00:05:10.250 --> 00:05:13.970 align:middle line:84% see the towers of Chicago, 30 miles away across the water. 00:05:13.970 --> 00:05:18.110 align:middle line:84% To run, just to run, was a very great pleasure. 00:05:18.110 --> 00:05:20.390 align:middle line:84% The goals that rested on the empty beach 00:05:20.390 --> 00:05:23.480 align:middle line:84% beyond all the houses would start to move as he approached. 00:05:23.480 --> 00:05:25.970 align:middle line:84% First, they rose to their feet, a dozen at a time, 00:05:25.970 --> 00:05:27.620 align:middle line:84% they would begin to walk away from him 00:05:27.620 --> 00:05:30.470 align:middle line:84% and then if he were coming fast their wings 00:05:30.470 --> 00:05:32.600 align:middle line:84% would open as they too began to run, 00:05:32.600 --> 00:05:37.130 align:middle line:84% and he would see white wings, go wings arched for flight as they 00:05:37.130 --> 00:05:39.230 align:middle line:84% ran and then flapped upward into the air, 00:05:39.230 --> 00:05:42.260 align:middle line:84% before tucking in their legs, and settling into a Gulf 00:05:42.260 --> 00:05:45.620 align:middle line:84% flight that might take them in a wide circle out over the lake, 00:05:45.620 --> 00:05:48.920 align:middle line:84% and back in to land behind him on the deserted beach, where 00:05:48.920 --> 00:05:53.100 align:middle line:84% only his footprints disturb the wave marks on the sand. 00:05:53.100 --> 00:05:55.610 align:middle line:90% You like to run alone. 00:05:55.610 --> 00:05:59.330 align:middle line:84% He swam in the lake, sailed on it, and ran along its shores 00:05:59.330 --> 00:06:01.700 align:middle line:84% as if he loved the lake more than he loved Rosalind, 00:06:01.700 --> 00:06:03.920 align:middle line:84% and perhaps he did, one could love a lake. 00:06:03.920 --> 00:06:06.320 align:middle line:84% Certainly he loved that lake, Lake Michigan 00:06:06.320 --> 00:06:08.210 align:middle line:84% that England ocean of freshwater, 00:06:08.210 --> 00:06:10.220 align:middle line:90% Michigan meant fresh water. 00:06:10.220 --> 00:06:13.100 align:middle line:84% And that lay stretched out to the northern horizon, 00:06:13.100 --> 00:06:15.920 align:middle line:84% the faintest pale blue and summer mornings 00:06:15.920 --> 00:06:18.500 align:middle line:84% as he sat with his arms around his knees 00:06:18.500 --> 00:06:21.050 align:middle line:84% beside the pine tree on top of the ridge, 00:06:21.050 --> 00:06:24.260 align:middle line:84% waiting for foursome to join him for their morning swim. 00:06:24.260 --> 00:06:26.810 align:middle line:84% First, he would come down the path from his house, a beach 00:06:26.810 --> 00:06:28.590 align:middle line:84% towel over one shoulder, and then one 00:06:28.590 --> 00:06:31.370 align:middle line:84% to go down the dune sometimes without even saying, 00:06:31.370 --> 00:06:32.090 align:middle line:90% good morning. 00:06:32.090 --> 00:06:33.557 align:middle line:90% Why should they? 00:06:33.557 --> 00:06:35.390 align:middle line:84% It was obviously a good morning with the sun 00:06:35.390 --> 00:06:39.170 align:middle line:84% just up in the lake awaiting them, pale blue in the calm 00:06:39.170 --> 00:06:42.770 align:middle line:84% mornings, cloud darkened in the afternoons, wind roughened 00:06:42.770 --> 00:06:46.320 align:middle line:84% and white cap during storms the lake was always awaiting him. 00:06:46.320 --> 00:06:48.080 align:middle line:84% He could never remember summer day 00:06:48.080 --> 00:06:50.570 align:middle line:84% when he had not wanted to be in the lake. 00:06:50.570 --> 00:06:54.140 align:middle line:84% He'd swam in the rain near the wind, the wind driven 00:06:54.140 --> 00:06:56.390 align:middle line:84% waves crashed like ocean surf and ran up 00:06:56.390 --> 00:06:59.460 align:middle line:84% the beach undercutting low beach dunes. 00:06:59.460 --> 00:07:00.930 align:middle line:84% Those were almost the best swimming 00:07:00.930 --> 00:07:03.690 align:middle line:84% days, though one couldn't swim in those waves. 00:07:03.690 --> 00:07:05.760 align:middle line:84% When he rowed them, go through them, 00:07:05.760 --> 00:07:08.610 align:middle line:84% and fought with them as the sandbars underfoot developed 00:07:08.610 --> 00:07:10.860 align:middle line:84% unexpected pockets, one minute he 00:07:10.860 --> 00:07:14.160 align:middle line:84% was waist deep, the next he was up to his armpits with a wave 00:07:14.160 --> 00:07:16.020 align:middle line:90% coming down over his head. 00:07:16.020 --> 00:07:18.330 align:middle line:84% They could catch you if you didn't catch them. 00:07:18.330 --> 00:07:21.530 align:middle line:84% Trying to ride waves into the beach he'd gone over the top, 00:07:21.530 --> 00:07:24.390 align:middle line:84% had waves break on him, hold him down, and drag him 00:07:24.390 --> 00:07:27.932 align:middle line:84% along the fine sand bottom until he was out of breath. 00:07:27.932 --> 00:07:30.390 align:middle line:84% And that was almost as good as catching a ray of just right 00:07:30.390 --> 00:07:33.450 align:middle line:84% and coming into the shallows head first in a sea of foam 00:07:33.450 --> 00:07:35.700 align:middle line:84% riding the wave just right, but it 00:07:35.700 --> 00:07:38.880 align:middle line:84% was good to be tumbled by a wave to be dragged on the bottom, 00:07:38.880 --> 00:07:42.540 align:middle line:84% even to have one skin scraped a little, why not? 00:07:42.540 --> 00:07:45.150 align:middle line:84% It was part of the whole experience. 00:07:45.150 --> 00:07:48.780 align:middle line:84% But lake could be rough, let it be rough with you, 00:07:48.780 --> 00:07:52.840 align:middle line:84% because finally it would never really hurt you. 00:07:52.840 --> 00:07:54.840 align:middle line:84% That was what he had always felt about the lake, 00:07:54.840 --> 00:07:57.360 align:middle line:84% even before he was a good swimmer, when he was simply 00:07:57.360 --> 00:08:00.570 align:middle line:84% a little boy playing in the water between beach and sandbar 00:08:00.570 --> 00:08:04.530 align:middle line:84% while his mother, and Mrs. Person and Mrs. Hyatt 00:08:04.530 --> 00:08:06.960 align:middle line:84% sat a few yards away under their beach umbrellas 00:08:06.960 --> 00:08:09.330 align:middle line:84% keeping watch as he and Anne and Phil 00:08:09.330 --> 00:08:12.180 align:middle line:84% and Linda and Shirley played in the water. 00:08:12.180 --> 00:08:15.480 align:middle line:84% Inner tubes and water rings where their toys there not 00:08:15.480 --> 00:08:16.342 align:middle line:90% lightning. 00:08:16.342 --> 00:08:19.440 align:middle line:90% 00:08:19.440 --> 00:08:23.850 align:middle line:84% But even in those days when a one foot wave could knock him 00:08:23.850 --> 00:08:26.160 align:middle line:84% down, he's still never felt the lake could ever 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:27.510 align:middle line:90% really hurt him. 00:08:27.510 --> 00:08:29.460 align:middle line:84% There was nothing there to be alarmed about, 00:08:29.460 --> 00:08:34.230 align:middle line:84% no rocks, no icky seaweed, no crabs or flounders 00:08:34.230 --> 00:08:37.289 align:middle line:84% nothing but fresh water, and sand, 00:08:37.289 --> 00:08:40.740 align:middle line:84% and silver minnows, and shore between bar and beach. 00:08:40.740 --> 00:08:45.420 align:middle line:84% He could remember floating face down eyes open, mouth open, 00:08:45.420 --> 00:08:49.470 align:middle line:84% doing the dead man's float while beneath him a school of minnows 00:08:49.470 --> 00:08:52.710 align:middle line:84% moved slowly through the clear water 00:08:52.710 --> 00:08:56.010 align:middle line:84% or again, years later when they had the heavy cypress 00:08:56.010 --> 00:08:58.870 align:middle line:84% rowboat that was so hard to get into the water, 00:08:58.870 --> 00:09:00.630 align:middle line:84% and so hard to pull up on the beach again, 00:09:00.630 --> 00:09:04.080 align:middle line:84% he could remember rowing in it 30 yards offshore, 00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:06.690 align:middle line:84% looking down to the sunlit bottom 00:09:06.690 --> 00:09:10.232 align:middle line:84% where a turtle was slowly walking out towards deep water. 00:09:10.232 --> 00:09:12.690 align:middle line:84% It was the only turtle he had ever seen in all the summers, 00:09:12.690 --> 00:09:14.640 align:middle line:90% he was not even a snapper. 00:09:14.640 --> 00:09:18.060 align:middle line:84% So how could you feel afraid of a sunlit lake that 00:09:18.060 --> 00:09:20.370 align:middle line:84% had only minnows and silver perch 00:09:20.370 --> 00:09:23.940 align:middle line:84% and a single solemn turtle trudging North? 00:09:23.940 --> 00:09:25.500 align:middle line:84% How could you fear a lake like that 00:09:25.500 --> 00:09:29.080 align:middle line:84% even if it was a lake 400 miles long? 00:09:29.080 --> 00:09:33.690 align:middle line:84% Imagine a lake so big the Jerry Engels who had grown up 00:09:33.690 --> 00:09:35.670 align:middle line:84% at its southern tip had never even seen 00:09:35.670 --> 00:09:39.000 align:middle line:84% the Straits of Mackinac where Huron and Michigan meet 00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:43.350 align:middle line:84% though he had seen every summer the Chicago 00:09:43.350 --> 00:09:45.930 align:middle line:84% to Mackinac to Michigan City race? 00:09:45.930 --> 00:09:48.990 align:middle line:84% On an August afternoon someone of them raised the cry, 00:09:48.990 --> 00:09:50.220 align:middle line:90% the boats are coming. 00:09:50.220 --> 00:09:51.720 align:middle line:84% And everyone would rush to the porch 00:09:51.720 --> 00:09:54.720 align:middle line:84% to look North where the blue water normally empty 00:09:54.720 --> 00:09:57.750 align:middle line:84% was now flecked with white sails as the big yachts appeared one 00:09:57.750 --> 00:10:01.710 align:middle line:84% after another, racing down from Mackinac on the last fastest 00:10:01.710 --> 00:10:05.730 align:middle line:84% leg of the race Spinnaker set and bellied in the wind 00:10:05.730 --> 00:10:08.550 align:middle line:84% as they headed in towards the harbor at Michigan City, 12 00:10:08.550 --> 00:10:10.490 align:middle line:90% miles to the East. 00:10:10.490 --> 00:10:13.940 align:middle line:84% This was a lake, which you could have 1,000 mile 00:10:13.940 --> 00:10:16.250 align:middle line:84% race in big boats, a lake on which 00:10:16.250 --> 00:10:19.550 align:middle line:84% violent storms far to the North could break up the lumberships 00:10:19.550 --> 00:10:23.480 align:middle line:84% and the oil freighters, because waves to pound ashore hundreds 00:10:23.480 --> 00:10:25.940 align:middle line:84% of miles to the South where there might be no wind at all 00:10:25.940 --> 00:10:28.040 align:middle line:84% those in fact, were the best waves for riding, 00:10:28.040 --> 00:10:30.623 align:middle line:84% because there were heavier and more regular than the wind whip 00:10:30.623 --> 00:10:33.260 align:middle line:90% waves of local storms. 00:10:33.260 --> 00:10:37.003 align:middle line:84% Ships sank and people did drown in this lake, 00:10:37.003 --> 00:10:38.420 align:middle line:84% how could you have a body of water 00:10:38.420 --> 00:10:41.000 align:middle line:84% that large in which no one had ever drowned? 00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:44.600 align:middle line:84% But this was a lake not the sea and though it might take lives, 00:10:44.600 --> 00:10:47.180 align:middle line:84% it never tortured men with thirst. 00:10:47.180 --> 00:10:49.700 align:middle line:84% One could drink the waters in which one drowned, 00:10:49.700 --> 00:10:51.538 align:middle line:84% death would come quickly or not at all 00:10:51.538 --> 00:10:53.330 align:middle line:84% for though it was a big lake, one could not 00:10:53.330 --> 00:10:56.750 align:middle line:84% float for days or weeks helpless on a raft or bit of wreckage 00:10:56.750 --> 00:10:59.060 align:middle line:90% suffering from sun and thirst. 00:10:59.060 --> 00:11:02.540 align:middle line:84% Such fates took place elsewhere, out on the wide oceans 00:11:02.540 --> 00:11:03.260 align:middle line:90% of the world. 00:11:03.260 --> 00:11:05.150 align:middle line:84% Here on this great inland lake one 00:11:05.150 --> 00:11:09.260 align:middle line:84% either drowned or froze to death at once orelse one survived. 00:11:09.260 --> 00:11:11.840 align:middle line:84% Storms here never reached the intensity 00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:16.040 align:middle line:84% of hurricanes or typhoons, they came quickly 00:11:16.040 --> 00:11:19.100 align:middle line:84% and though they might last two or three day blows 00:11:19.100 --> 00:11:21.440 align:middle line:84% they went away again having swept the southern beaches 00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:24.380 align:middle line:84% clean washing the flotsam and jetsam high up 00:11:24.380 --> 00:11:28.070 align:middle line:84% against the beach dunes, leaving the beach itself firm, 00:11:28.070 --> 00:11:31.460 align:middle line:84% and hard, and clean so that Jerry Engels could run along 00:11:31.460 --> 00:11:35.780 align:middle line:84% the beach knowing that his naked footprints were 00:11:35.780 --> 00:11:38.720 align:middle line:84% the only ones on the beach between the West end of Indiana 00:11:38.720 --> 00:11:42.650 align:middle line:84% shores and burns ditch six miles to the West. 00:11:42.650 --> 00:11:45.380 align:middle line:84% Years later when he was in college his roommate, 00:11:45.380 --> 00:11:47.390 align:middle line:84% Carlos had once said to him, you're 00:11:47.390 --> 00:11:51.890 align:middle line:84% Indiana shores is like the sea coast of Bohemia, and it was. 00:11:51.890 --> 00:11:55.430 align:middle line:84% His lake, his shore, his dunes, and woods, 00:11:55.430 --> 00:11:58.730 align:middle line:84% and swamps where as wonderful and in his improbable 00:11:58.730 --> 00:12:02.510 align:middle line:84% as the Bohemian coast, were there inside 00:12:02.510 --> 00:12:04.460 align:middle line:84% of the towers of Chicago across the water 00:12:04.460 --> 00:12:08.930 align:middle line:84% with the open hearth furnaces of Gary only 16 miles to the West. 00:12:08.930 --> 00:12:12.170 align:middle line:84% He had shuffled along the beach through singing sand, 00:12:12.170 --> 00:12:16.040 align:middle line:84% seen flocks of blue birds resting on the telephone wires 00:12:16.040 --> 00:12:18.830 align:middle line:84% and walked through fields of bottled junctions. 00:12:18.830 --> 00:12:21.470 align:middle line:84% He stood at the crest of the live dune 00:12:21.470 --> 00:12:23.053 align:middle line:84% and looked down on oak woods and loop 00:12:23.053 --> 00:12:24.470 align:middle line:84% and filled meadows that were going 00:12:24.470 --> 00:12:28.420 align:middle line:84% to be buried as the dune shifted in Southeast. 00:12:28.420 --> 00:12:30.430 align:middle line:84% And windy days he even felt the doom 00:12:30.430 --> 00:12:32.740 align:middle line:84% moving as he stood there the wind driven sand 00:12:32.740 --> 00:12:36.640 align:middle line:84% stinging his bare legs like wild grasses bent and tossed 00:12:36.640 --> 00:12:40.210 align:middle line:84% and traced feathery patterns on the wind rippled sand, 00:12:40.210 --> 00:12:42.730 align:middle line:84% he just had to laugh in later years 00:12:42.730 --> 00:12:46.030 align:middle line:84% when he told people that he'd grown up in Indiana. 00:12:46.030 --> 00:12:49.360 align:middle line:84% And saw they were thinking of cows, and corn, 00:12:49.360 --> 00:12:52.240 align:middle line:84% and silos for what he was thinking of 00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:56.950 align:middle line:84% was a log cabin on the wooded ridge with a large cottonwood 00:12:56.950 --> 00:12:59.050 align:middle line:84% in front of it, and a clump of Juniper 00:12:59.050 --> 00:13:02.610 align:middle line:84% nearby in which a pair of Cardinals lived, 00:13:02.610 --> 00:13:05.650 align:middle line:84% or when built her nest every spring just above the cabin 00:13:05.650 --> 00:13:09.100 align:middle line:84% door, and from the porch every evening one 00:13:09.100 --> 00:13:13.300 align:middle line:84% could hear the whipper wills cry from behind the live dune. 00:13:13.300 --> 00:13:16.780 align:middle line:84% He had found a hummingbird one morning hanging by its beak 00:13:16.780 --> 00:13:19.840 align:middle line:84% from the porch screen and held it in his hand 00:13:19.840 --> 00:13:22.420 align:middle line:84% thinking its neck was broken, only 00:13:22.420 --> 00:13:26.100 align:middle line:84% to feel it revived on his palm before darted 00:13:26.100 --> 00:13:27.780 align:middle line:90% away and hummingbird flight. 00:13:27.780 --> 00:13:31.440 align:middle line:84% That was his Indiana place the birds, 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:35.790 align:middle line:90% and wildflowers, and animals. 00:13:35.790 --> 00:13:38.910 align:middle line:84% To get there one left the Indiana most people thought 00:13:38.910 --> 00:13:43.740 align:middle line:84% about then drove North a mile across a swamp, where redwing 00:13:43.740 --> 00:13:46.830 align:middle line:84% blackbirds sat on the cattails where beavers dammed the slowly 00:13:46.830 --> 00:13:50.130 align:middle line:84% moving water, and where wild flag and turkeys kept 00:13:50.130 --> 00:13:52.200 align:middle line:84% lilies grew in the ditches along the road which 00:13:52.200 --> 00:13:56.370 align:middle line:84% was the only road into town, you could call it a town. 00:13:56.370 --> 00:13:59.730 align:middle line:84% Where there are no stores and in those days only 30 houses. 00:13:59.730 --> 00:14:01.200 align:middle line:84% In his earliest memories the male 00:14:01.200 --> 00:14:03.330 align:middle line:84% was not even brought into town, was 00:14:03.330 --> 00:14:06.420 align:middle line:84% delivered to a communal mailbox out on Route 12 00:14:06.420 --> 00:14:10.200 align:middle line:84% and working for the male was a real expedition for the kids. 00:14:10.200 --> 00:14:12.510 align:middle line:84% As they picked their way barefoot along 00:14:12.510 --> 00:14:14.610 align:middle line:84% with sandy ruts of the unpaved roads 00:14:14.610 --> 00:14:17.010 align:middle line:84% stopping to eat blueberries, stopping 00:14:17.010 --> 00:14:20.790 align:middle line:84% to choose sassafras leaves, and stopping once to watch 00:14:20.790 --> 00:14:22.710 align:middle line:84% and wonder as a mother skunk that 00:14:22.710 --> 00:14:25.600 align:middle line:84% are five kittens across the road in front of them. 00:14:25.600 --> 00:14:28.380 align:middle line:84% It was a wild place then, a place that had never quite 00:14:28.380 --> 00:14:31.860 align:middle line:84% developed into the country community that had been planned 00:14:31.860 --> 00:14:36.300 align:middle line:84% in the 1920s for the depression that put its spell on Indiana 00:14:36.300 --> 00:14:37.410 align:middle line:90% shore's. 00:14:37.410 --> 00:14:39.270 align:middle line:84% The clubhouse and the guest house 00:14:39.270 --> 00:14:42.180 align:middle line:84% large log buildings atop the highest dune in town 00:14:42.180 --> 00:14:44.590 align:middle line:90% were seldom used now. 00:14:44.590 --> 00:14:47.350 align:middle line:84% The golf course had reverted to peat bog 00:14:47.350 --> 00:14:50.110 align:middle line:84% and oak-wood in the planned yacht harbor 00:14:50.110 --> 00:14:51.880 align:middle line:90% had never been dredged. 00:14:51.880 --> 00:14:54.430 align:middle line:84% Even now when the war was over and new houses were going up, 00:14:54.430 --> 00:14:59.180 align:middle line:84% there was still no community tennis courts and 00:14:59.180 --> 00:15:02.030 align:middle line:84% that alone struck Jerry as an imperfection, 00:15:02.030 --> 00:15:04.700 align:middle line:84% there should be courts, otherwise the shores 00:15:04.700 --> 00:15:06.793 align:middle line:84% was a perfect place to have grown up 00:15:06.793 --> 00:15:08.210 align:middle line:84% and there was no doubt in his mind 00:15:08.210 --> 00:15:11.750 align:middle line:84% that he'd grown up there and not in Whiting or Chicago, 00:15:11.750 --> 00:15:14.060 align:middle line:84% where the family had lived most of the year 00:15:14.060 --> 00:15:16.830 align:middle line:84% or perhaps he had grown during those winter months. 00:15:16.830 --> 00:15:19.640 align:middle line:84% But the point and meaning of his winter growth 00:15:19.640 --> 00:15:21.320 align:middle line:84% really came clear in the summer in terms 00:15:21.320 --> 00:15:23.270 align:middle line:84% of the longer swims he could take, 00:15:23.270 --> 00:15:25.400 align:middle line:84% the higher trees he could climb, the deeper 00:15:25.400 --> 00:15:28.250 align:middle line:84% holes he could dig in his sand yes, he'd 00:15:28.250 --> 00:15:31.160 align:middle line:84% grown up with the shore summer after summer until now 00:15:31.160 --> 00:15:33.230 align:middle line:90% in his 16th summer. 00:15:33.230 --> 00:15:35.970 align:middle line:84% He was full grown though he might gain another 1/2 inch, 00:15:35.970 --> 00:15:40.280 align:middle line:84% which would make him exactly 5'10 shading himself as he 00:15:40.280 --> 00:15:44.210 align:middle line:84% stood half naked in front of the bathroom mirror he could see, 00:15:44.210 --> 00:15:49.520 align:middle line:84% he could just feel he was a man or almost. 00:15:49.520 --> 00:15:53.090 align:middle line:84% There are still one thing to do, one remaining thing 00:15:53.090 --> 00:15:55.910 align:middle line:84% that would set the seal on this whole process of growing up, 00:15:55.910 --> 00:15:56.765 align:middle line:90% one thing. 00:15:56.765 --> 00:15:59.460 align:middle line:90% 00:15:59.460 --> 00:16:01.590 align:middle line:84% He and Phil discussed that one thing from time 00:16:01.590 --> 00:16:06.030 align:middle line:84% to time generally when they were away from the beach, away 00:16:06.030 --> 00:16:08.400 align:middle line:84% from their homes hiking through the woods 00:16:08.400 --> 00:16:14.670 align:middle line:84% or walking along the old golf course road there out of sight 00:16:14.670 --> 00:16:18.210 align:middle line:84% surrounded by the heavy Midwestern heat, 00:16:18.210 --> 00:16:22.005 align:middle line:84% Jerry could feel and even say certain things that were 00:16:22.005 --> 00:16:24.240 align:middle line:90% bit inappropriate elsewhere. 00:16:24.240 --> 00:16:27.210 align:middle line:84% He could, for instance pause to slap 00:16:27.210 --> 00:16:29.690 align:middle line:84% at a mosquito and his bare forearm 00:16:29.690 --> 00:16:32.010 align:middle line:84% and then look up from the spot of blood, 00:16:32.010 --> 00:16:35.670 align:middle line:84% and feel a surge of desire heavier than anything 00:16:35.670 --> 00:16:39.570 align:middle line:84% he felt on the beach or even out on the lake, where sailing 00:16:39.570 --> 00:16:41.400 align:middle line:84% with his feet braced against the combing 00:16:41.400 --> 00:16:43.380 align:middle line:84% he felt the sun between his spread legs 00:16:43.380 --> 00:16:47.700 align:middle line:84% stoking with its solar heat his own internal warmth. 00:16:47.700 --> 00:16:49.540 align:middle line:84% Deeply erotic as that could be, it 00:16:49.540 --> 00:16:51.540 align:middle line:84% was just not like the feeling that came over him 00:16:51.540 --> 00:16:54.450 align:middle line:84% along the golf course road, where it felt somehow 00:16:54.450 --> 00:16:58.470 align:middle line:84% natural to pause, to smash a mosquito or two, 00:16:58.470 --> 00:17:00.480 align:middle line:84% to feel the beaded sweat on his body, 00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:02.220 align:middle line:84% and then to say drawing the words up 00:17:02.220 --> 00:17:06.670 align:middle line:84% as if they came from the bottom of his being she says, 00:17:06.670 --> 00:17:07.630 align:middle line:90% I need a woman. 00:17:07.630 --> 00:17:10.534 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:17:10.534 --> 00:17:13.930 align:middle line:90% 00:17:13.930 --> 00:17:16.780 align:middle line:84% They did not talk about sex, these discussions 00:17:16.780 --> 00:17:21.339 align:middle line:84% were more like sounds than speech. 00:17:21.339 --> 00:17:24.910 align:middle line:84% They were like the sighing of wind in the treetops 00:17:24.910 --> 00:17:28.240 align:middle line:84% or the thud of their feet along the beaten track 00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:30.730 align:middle line:84% to which the road had reverted now that the golf course was 00:17:30.730 --> 00:17:32.800 align:middle line:90% out of use. 00:17:32.800 --> 00:17:35.770 align:middle line:84% Jesus, I need a woman, Jerry might say. 00:17:35.770 --> 00:17:38.740 align:middle line:84% To which Phil, would respond in his own way by saying, 00:17:38.740 --> 00:17:42.160 align:middle line:90% shut up or take a shower. 00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:45.340 align:middle line:84% How could you shower out there in the deep woods? 00:17:45.340 --> 00:17:48.070 align:middle line:84% Where was the lake into which you could always dump himself 00:17:48.070 --> 00:17:51.130 align:middle line:84% and the feeling got too strong as he sailed? 00:17:51.130 --> 00:17:52.690 align:middle line:84% There along the golf course where 00:17:52.690 --> 00:17:55.300 align:middle line:84% the only patches of water where the dark pools that 00:17:55.300 --> 00:17:58.420 align:middle line:84% collected in the pitty ground and one of the big Tamarac 00:17:58.420 --> 00:18:02.470 align:middle line:84% blew down ripping a hole, where its roots had vainly sought 00:18:02.470 --> 00:18:04.810 align:middle line:90% to anchor it in the soil. 00:18:04.810 --> 00:18:09.490 align:middle line:84% One saw Tamarac in all stages of declension 3/4 upright, 00:18:09.490 --> 00:18:11.240 align:middle line:84% their weight resting against a neighboring 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:14.850 align:middle line:84% tree half down crushing some younger, smaller growth, 00:18:14.850 --> 00:18:16.910 align:middle line:90% and finally flat on the Earth. 00:18:16.910 --> 00:18:21.380 align:middle line:84% A semicircle of spreading roots steel Earth clogged fanned out 00:18:21.380 --> 00:18:24.530 align:middle line:84% above the circular pools that formed where the trunks had 00:18:24.530 --> 00:18:29.360 align:middle line:84% once stood upright, those stagnant pools surged 00:18:29.360 --> 00:18:32.270 align:middle line:84% by marsh marigolds and skunk cabbage 00:18:32.270 --> 00:18:34.610 align:middle line:84% were find breeding grounds for the mosquitoes that 00:18:34.610 --> 00:18:38.000 align:middle line:84% pestered their walks and kept them on the move 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:41.000 align:middle line:84% until they had come out onto the golf course. 00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:42.780 align:middle line:84% There they usually sort open ground 00:18:42.780 --> 00:18:44.907 align:middle line:84% near what have been the 1/3T, where 00:18:44.907 --> 00:18:46.490 align:middle line:84% they could sit for a while to look out 00:18:46.490 --> 00:18:50.390 align:middle line:84% across the ruined fairway and there Jerry, 00:18:50.390 --> 00:18:52.370 align:middle line:84% would revert to the preoccupation 00:18:52.370 --> 00:18:55.550 align:middle line:90% of his 16th summer. 00:18:55.550 --> 00:18:58.790 align:middle line:84% Maybe we should go to Michigan City, he would say. 00:18:58.790 --> 00:19:01.970 align:middle line:84% It was known they at least had heard 00:19:01.970 --> 00:19:05.420 align:middle line:84% that there was a house in Michigan City, a cat 00:19:05.420 --> 00:19:09.200 align:middle line:84% house where they were women or cats whom one could visit. 00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:11.150 align:middle line:84% A friend of theirs from Horton's dock, 00:19:11.150 --> 00:19:13.490 align:middle line:84% the summer community next to Indiana shores 00:19:13.490 --> 00:19:15.110 align:middle line:90% had told them about the house. 00:19:15.110 --> 00:19:16.790 align:middle line:90% He had visited it, he said. 00:19:16.790 --> 00:19:19.940 align:middle line:84% The question was should they go, what do you think? 00:19:19.940 --> 00:19:21.380 align:middle line:90% Jerry, asked. 00:19:21.380 --> 00:19:25.280 align:middle line:84% He was genuinely curious to have a person's honest opinion 00:19:25.280 --> 00:19:27.410 align:middle line:90% on the subject should they go. 00:19:27.410 --> 00:19:30.470 align:middle line:84% He felt persons might have sounder, wiser views 00:19:30.470 --> 00:19:32.665 align:middle line:84% than his own, his own views were chaotic. 00:19:32.665 --> 00:19:34.040 align:middle line:84% There were moments when it seemed 00:19:34.040 --> 00:19:37.520 align:middle line:84% to hit insane they had delayed going even for a day, much 00:19:37.520 --> 00:19:40.130 align:middle line:84% less for the weeks that had already passed in this summer 00:19:40.130 --> 00:19:42.150 align:middle line:90% when it just had to happen. 00:19:42.150 --> 00:19:43.790 align:middle line:90% What were they waiting for? 00:19:43.790 --> 00:19:47.540 align:middle line:84% They were grown, they were men in all but name were the hell. 00:19:47.540 --> 00:19:50.120 align:middle line:84% First, it was more of a man than Jerry felt himself to be, 00:19:50.120 --> 00:19:53.330 align:middle line:84% so what was person's honest opinion on this vital question 00:19:53.330 --> 00:19:55.400 align:middle line:90% should they go. 00:19:55.400 --> 00:19:58.210 align:middle line:84% Do you want to go, Phil, it ask Jerry. 00:19:58.210 --> 00:20:00.640 align:middle line:84% Leadership is what they need, Jerry realized. 00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:02.710 align:middle line:84% They were getting nowhere on their own. 00:20:02.710 --> 00:20:04.750 align:middle line:84% What they needed was for some determined fellow 00:20:04.750 --> 00:20:07.840 align:middle line:84% to take charge Alex Walker, for instance Tim Horton's dock he 00:20:07.840 --> 00:20:10.450 align:middle line:84% had been there, he knew the address, what they needed 00:20:10.450 --> 00:20:13.510 align:middle line:84% was for Walker to say one night, OK we're going. 00:20:13.510 --> 00:20:16.540 align:middle line:84% You gave angles, you gave for us they would nod their heads, 00:20:16.540 --> 00:20:17.800 align:middle line:90% they were game. 00:20:17.800 --> 00:20:19.185 align:middle line:84% They would get into Walker's car, 00:20:19.185 --> 00:20:20.560 align:middle line:84% he would drive them to the house, 00:20:20.560 --> 00:20:22.352 align:middle line:84% and tell them what you did when you went in 00:20:22.352 --> 00:20:24.250 align:middle line:84% and how much you paid and all that. 00:20:24.250 --> 00:20:27.550 align:middle line:84% He had done it he said and maybe he hadn't. 00:20:27.550 --> 00:20:31.300 align:middle line:84% Maybe he was bluffing, and anyway he was not a leader, 00:20:31.300 --> 00:20:33.400 align:middle line:90% he was more a lone wolf type. 00:20:33.400 --> 00:20:38.590 align:middle line:84% If he had gone, and probably he had, he'd gone alone. 00:20:38.590 --> 00:20:40.840 align:middle line:84% So it'd be just a little humiliating for them 00:20:40.840 --> 00:20:44.440 align:middle line:84% to have Walker's their leader for their first experience. 00:20:44.440 --> 00:20:46.420 align:middle line:84% To accept his leadership would be 00:20:46.420 --> 00:20:49.090 align:middle line:84% to acknowledge his superiority and Jerry 00:20:49.090 --> 00:20:51.610 align:middle line:84% felt that Phil at least was really Walker's superior, 00:20:51.610 --> 00:20:54.520 align:middle line:84% Phil was bigger, more intelligent, more mature, 00:20:54.520 --> 00:20:56.500 align:middle line:90% actually than Walker was. 00:20:56.500 --> 00:20:59.170 align:middle line:84% It would be wrong for Phil to be driven to Michigan City 00:20:59.170 --> 00:21:01.810 align:middle line:84% by Walker, more wrong and if Jerry and Walker were 00:21:01.810 --> 00:21:03.100 align:middle line:90% to go together. 00:21:03.100 --> 00:21:04.960 align:middle line:84% Jerry, could accept Walker's leadership, 00:21:04.960 --> 00:21:07.270 align:middle line:84% but he did not want to go alone with Walker, 00:21:07.270 --> 00:21:08.560 align:middle line:90% he wanted Phil to be along. 00:21:08.560 --> 00:21:09.400 align:middle line:90% What should happen? 00:21:09.400 --> 00:21:13.540 align:middle line:84% Jerry felt. Was that Mr. Thorson should take his son along 00:21:13.540 --> 00:21:16.660 align:middle line:84% with Jerry for a drive some night in the person's Buick. 00:21:16.660 --> 00:21:19.210 align:middle line:84% They might go to a movie first and then afterwards Mr Thorson 00:21:19.210 --> 00:21:22.900 align:middle line:90% would say, OK boys it's time. 00:21:22.900 --> 00:21:24.483 align:middle line:84% And he would take them to the house 00:21:24.483 --> 00:21:25.900 align:middle line:84% and wait outside for half an hour, 00:21:25.900 --> 00:21:27.900 align:middle line:84% because it would be wrong for him to go in, 00:21:27.900 --> 00:21:29.900 align:middle line:84% and afterwards he'd say something matter of fact 00:21:29.900 --> 00:21:34.600 align:middle line:84% like, have a good time or now you know your way. 00:21:34.600 --> 00:21:37.720 align:middle line:84% Jerry always imagined Mr. Thorson taking the initiative 00:21:37.720 --> 00:21:39.610 align:middle line:84% not his own father, he couldn't have 00:21:39.610 --> 00:21:42.550 align:middle line:84% explained why but it seemed to him Phil or Mr. Thorson should 00:21:42.550 --> 00:21:45.400 align:middle line:84% assume leadership or neither of them had. 00:21:45.400 --> 00:21:46.240 align:middle line:90% Do you want to go? 00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:49.930 align:middle line:84% Phil, would ask when Jerry raised a great question. 00:21:49.930 --> 00:21:51.430 align:middle line:84% It's a difficult question to answer. 00:21:51.430 --> 00:21:53.680 align:middle line:84% Sitting with his back against an oak tree 00:21:53.680 --> 00:21:56.680 align:middle line:84% idly knocking a part of fern with a stick he held, 00:21:56.680 --> 00:22:00.436 align:middle line:84% Jerry would consider the matter, did he want to go? 00:22:00.436 --> 00:22:02.560 align:middle line:84% Then Phil would say, let's go, he 00:22:02.560 --> 00:22:05.200 align:middle line:84% would gladly follow but when the question was thrust back 00:22:05.200 --> 00:22:08.900 align:middle line:84% into his own lap he could never quite make up his mind, 00:22:08.900 --> 00:22:10.150 align:middle line:90% did he want to go? 00:22:10.150 --> 00:22:13.180 align:middle line:84% Did he want it to happen with a woman in a cat house, a cat 00:22:13.180 --> 00:22:14.970 align:middle line:90% woman? 00:22:14.970 --> 00:22:17.430 align:middle line:84% That could be a little scary sounding. 00:22:17.430 --> 00:22:20.740 align:middle line:84% It could seem almost like going to the zoo in Michigan City. 00:22:20.740 --> 00:22:23.190 align:middle line:84% Getting into a stinking cage with one of the big cats 00:22:23.190 --> 00:22:28.380 align:middle line:84% and getting eaten up or torn apart for his money, some fun. 00:22:28.380 --> 00:22:31.650 align:middle line:84% As he thought of a woman pacing restlessly in her room 00:22:31.650 --> 00:22:33.930 align:middle line:84% maybe brushing her hair between customers, 00:22:33.930 --> 00:22:35.760 align:middle line:84% the muscles of her shoulders and arms 00:22:35.760 --> 00:22:38.520 align:middle line:84% shifting and moving under her bare skin 00:22:38.520 --> 00:22:41.880 align:middle line:84% he could feel it might be fun with her, 00:22:41.880 --> 00:22:44.520 align:middle line:84% it certainly would be exciting though it would still 00:22:44.520 --> 00:22:46.802 align:middle line:90% be just a little alarming. 00:22:46.802 --> 00:22:49.260 align:middle line:84% I don't know, Jerry would say an answer to Phil's question. 00:22:49.260 --> 00:22:51.580 align:middle line:90% Do you think we should go? 00:22:51.580 --> 00:22:53.820 align:middle line:84% I think we should get the hell off this subject, 00:22:53.820 --> 00:22:56.160 align:middle line:90% Phil would say decisively. 00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:58.120 align:middle line:90% And that Jerry would nod. 00:22:58.120 --> 00:23:01.390 align:middle line:84% He accepted the conventional wisdom of his world, which 00:23:01.390 --> 00:23:03.490 align:middle line:84% was the guy should not have their minds on women 00:23:03.490 --> 00:23:04.852 align:middle line:90% all the time. 00:23:04.852 --> 00:23:06.310 align:middle line:84% Guy should at least make the effort 00:23:06.310 --> 00:23:10.030 align:middle line:84% to think about serious things like the United Nations, 00:23:10.030 --> 00:23:12.995 align:middle line:84% or who was going to win the election in November. 00:23:12.995 --> 00:23:14.620 align:middle line:84% So he nodded when Phil said they should 00:23:14.620 --> 00:23:16.600 align:middle line:90% get the hell off the subject. 00:23:16.600 --> 00:23:20.420 align:middle line:84% Together they would rise to continue their aimless walks, 00:23:20.420 --> 00:23:23.870 align:middle line:84% for a while they might even talk about cars or sports 00:23:23.870 --> 00:23:28.430 align:middle line:84% or even politics, but then inevitably the conversation 00:23:28.430 --> 00:23:31.340 align:middle line:84% would die away until the only sound was 00:23:31.340 --> 00:23:33.260 align:middle line:84% the store of dry leaves underfoot 00:23:33.260 --> 00:23:36.230 align:middle line:90% and the shrill of tree frogs. 00:23:36.230 --> 00:23:39.440 align:middle line:84% Then they would tramp onwards in silent companionship, 00:23:39.440 --> 00:23:42.500 align:middle line:84% their minds roaming ahead down the golden and garish 00:23:42.500 --> 00:23:47.460 align:middle line:84% corridors of fantasy for however while they might try to be, 00:23:47.460 --> 00:23:50.850 align:middle line:84% they were never wise enough to keep their minds off women 00:23:50.850 --> 00:23:53.130 align:middle line:90% for very long. 00:23:53.130 --> 00:23:56.940 align:middle line:84% The problem if it was a problem, was that there were women 00:23:56.940 --> 00:23:58.470 align:middle line:90% everywhere. 00:23:58.470 --> 00:24:00.420 align:middle line:84% How could you keep your mind off them 00:24:00.420 --> 00:24:02.730 align:middle line:84% when you saw them on the beach and in the water 00:24:02.730 --> 00:24:04.667 align:middle line:90% and on boats and on water skis? 00:24:04.667 --> 00:24:06.750 align:middle line:84% They were just on the beach, they were on the road 00:24:06.750 --> 00:24:09.450 align:middle line:84% behind the wheels of cars and on bicycles 00:24:09.450 --> 00:24:11.640 align:middle line:90% and even just walking alone. 00:24:11.640 --> 00:24:14.520 align:middle line:84% You saw them in the streets of Chesterton and Porter 00:24:14.520 --> 00:24:16.380 align:middle line:84% behind store counters and you saw 00:24:16.380 --> 00:24:18.780 align:middle line:84% them getting on and off the South Shore railroad, 00:24:18.780 --> 00:24:19.860 align:middle line:90% they were everywhere. 00:24:19.860 --> 00:24:23.330 align:middle line:84% Everywhere Jerry where he saw a woman. 00:24:23.330 --> 00:24:25.080 align:middle line:84% So unless you were to spend his whole life 00:24:25.080 --> 00:24:27.455 align:middle line:84% floating in the middle of the lake or hiding in the woods 00:24:27.455 --> 00:24:30.578 align:middle line:84% he was bound to have a woman right in front of him, bound 00:24:30.578 --> 00:24:31.995 align:middle line:84% therefore to be thinking about her 00:24:31.995 --> 00:24:35.010 align:middle line:84% and for that matter women didn't have to be present, 00:24:35.010 --> 00:24:38.730 align:middle line:84% didn't have to be visible to be present even deep in the woods 00:24:38.730 --> 00:24:41.220 align:middle line:84% or way out in the lake he felt their presence. 00:24:41.220 --> 00:24:45.648 align:middle line:84% He was an erotic pantheistic, or a pantheistic eroticism. 00:24:45.648 --> 00:24:47.190 align:middle line:84% As far as he was concerned there were 00:24:47.190 --> 00:24:50.070 align:middle line:84% women in the wind that filled the sail of his boat, 00:24:50.070 --> 00:24:52.810 align:middle line:84% caressed his bare skin, blew him to and fro, 00:24:52.810 --> 00:24:54.840 align:middle line:84% and sometimes dumped him in the lake. 00:24:54.840 --> 00:24:56.700 align:middle line:84% They were in the water through which he swam 00:24:56.700 --> 00:24:59.280 align:middle line:84% and in the warm sand on which he rode. 00:24:59.280 --> 00:25:01.260 align:middle line:84% There in the rain that poured down 00:25:01.260 --> 00:25:05.640 align:middle line:84% over him, and the gigantic thunderclaps of summer storms. 00:25:05.640 --> 00:25:07.380 align:middle line:84% They were in a savage grip of lightning 00:25:07.380 --> 00:25:08.910 align:middle line:84% when it seemed like bolts of silk 00:25:08.910 --> 00:25:11.490 align:middle line:84% were being torn in the sky, they were 00:25:11.490 --> 00:25:13.230 align:middle line:90% everywhere and in everything. 00:25:13.230 --> 00:25:16.170 align:middle line:84% They were in the cry of each bird, the color of each flower. 00:25:16.170 --> 00:25:19.740 align:middle line:84% He was up to his neck in women drowning in them, so 00:25:19.740 --> 00:25:21.270 align:middle line:84% how could he keep his mind off them? 00:25:21.270 --> 00:25:22.920 align:middle line:90% How? 00:25:22.920 --> 00:25:26.490 align:middle line:84% Actually most of the time he made no effort at all 00:25:26.490 --> 00:25:30.010 align:middle line:84% and still afternoons when not a leaf stirred 00:25:30.010 --> 00:25:32.880 align:middle line:84% in the big Cottonwood and the only sound 00:25:32.880 --> 00:25:37.860 align:middle line:84% was the faint call of a morning dove going poo, coo, coo, coo, 00:25:37.860 --> 00:25:41.100 align:middle line:84% coo, Jerry would lie on the cabin porch 00:25:41.100 --> 00:25:43.920 align:middle line:90% and daydream a women. 00:25:43.920 --> 00:25:49.560 align:middle line:84% He would invent a whole series of nameless and almost faceless 00:25:49.560 --> 00:25:53.100 align:middle line:84% girls bending, and stretching, and dancing 00:25:53.100 --> 00:25:55.920 align:middle line:90% across the back of his mind. 00:25:55.920 --> 00:26:02.280 align:middle line:84% Then he would dance them off stage and allow a single girl 00:26:02.280 --> 00:26:07.860 align:middle line:84% to emerge Rosalind, Rosalind Ingleside the star of his show. 00:26:07.860 --> 00:26:11.520 align:middle line:84% She was his girl, he was her guy, 00:26:11.520 --> 00:26:13.620 align:middle line:84% and they had gone steady all spring 00:26:13.620 --> 00:26:17.910 align:middle line:84% and it was terrific except that nothing had happened. 00:26:17.910 --> 00:26:20.400 align:middle line:84% Even in fantasy when Rosalind emerged 00:26:20.400 --> 00:26:22.500 align:middle line:84% on the stage of his mind all she did 00:26:22.500 --> 00:26:26.100 align:middle line:84% was to smile at her adolescent impresario. 00:26:26.100 --> 00:26:28.740 align:middle line:90% Jerry smiled back. 00:26:28.740 --> 00:26:31.650 align:middle line:84% Then Rosalind looked at him out of the corner of her eyes, 00:26:31.650 --> 00:26:33.720 align:middle line:84% and he would feel his heart quiver, 00:26:33.720 --> 00:26:38.100 align:middle line:84% and he would hear a sigh tender and more languishing 00:26:38.100 --> 00:26:40.002 align:middle line:90% than his swamp size. 00:26:40.002 --> 00:26:42.210 align:middle line:84% And Baleen, would stick her head out the kitchen door 00:26:42.210 --> 00:26:43.740 align:middle line:90% to ask if he said something. 00:26:43.740 --> 00:26:46.080 align:middle line:84% No, Jerry would reply thinking what 00:26:46.080 --> 00:26:49.560 align:middle line:90% a very plain made vermin was. 00:26:49.560 --> 00:26:52.500 align:middle line:84% Why did his mother never hire cute girls 00:26:52.500 --> 00:26:54.000 align:middle line:90% to work for them in the summer? 00:26:54.000 --> 00:26:55.650 align:middle line:90% That might be something. 00:26:55.650 --> 00:26:57.750 align:middle line:84% I'll make your lemonade, Baleen would suggest. 00:26:57.750 --> 00:27:01.020 align:middle line:84% She was a willing worker, why couldn't she 00:27:01.020 --> 00:27:02.400 align:middle line:90% be beautiful as well? 00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:05.940 align:middle line:84% Though if this went on, if things didn't shape up 00:27:05.940 --> 00:27:10.080 align:middle line:84% soon Jerry would rise and leave-- 00:27:10.080 --> 00:27:11.780 align:middle line:84% things didn't shape up soon Baleen, 00:27:11.780 --> 00:27:13.680 align:middle line:90% might begin to look good. 00:27:13.680 --> 00:27:18.600 align:middle line:84% Sighing again less languishing Jerry would rise and leave 00:27:18.600 --> 00:27:21.510 align:middle line:84% the porch to wander down the ridge past the clump 00:27:21.510 --> 00:27:23.838 align:middle line:84% of Juniper's to see what was going on at the Hyatt 00:27:23.838 --> 00:27:24.630 align:middle line:90% or at the Person's. 00:27:24.630 --> 00:27:28.170 align:middle line:90% 00:27:28.170 --> 00:27:29.460 align:middle line:90% There, water. 00:27:29.460 --> 00:27:30.090 align:middle line:90% Oh, thank you. 00:27:30.090 --> 00:27:32.730 align:middle line:90% 00:27:32.730 --> 00:27:39.220 align:middle line:84% The Hyatt's lived closer, 50 yards down the ridge 00:27:39.220 --> 00:27:41.200 align:middle line:90% in a stone house. 00:27:41.200 --> 00:27:43.060 align:middle line:84% He would climb the steps, push open 00:27:43.060 --> 00:27:46.060 align:middle line:84% the screen door of their porch, and walk in 00:27:46.060 --> 00:27:49.660 align:middle line:84% to find Shirley Hyatt reclining on a lounge 00:27:49.660 --> 00:27:54.040 align:middle line:84% chair, a bottle of Coke by her side, the John Dixon car 00:27:54.040 --> 00:27:56.920 align:middle line:90% mystery story in her hands. 00:27:56.920 --> 00:28:00.310 align:middle line:84% Hi, they would say to each other without relation. 00:28:00.310 --> 00:28:04.027 align:middle line:84% Surely it was very attractive, but they had grown up together. 00:28:04.027 --> 00:28:06.610 align:middle line:84% Jerry, could remember fighting with her over possession of one 00:28:06.610 --> 00:28:09.910 align:middle line:84% of her own dolls when they were in play school back in the days 00:28:09.910 --> 00:28:12.370 align:middle line:90% when they all lived in hiding. 00:28:12.370 --> 00:28:14.020 align:middle line:84% Flirting with Shirley would be about 00:28:14.020 --> 00:28:15.790 align:middle line:84% like flirting with his own sister, 00:28:15.790 --> 00:28:21.250 align:middle line:84% so after saying hi, he would drop on to another lounge chair 00:28:21.250 --> 00:28:27.190 align:middle line:84% and stare somewhat resentfully Shirley's slim brown 00:28:27.190 --> 00:28:29.590 align:middle line:90% and very attractive legs. 00:28:29.590 --> 00:28:32.590 align:middle line:84% Rosalind had better legs, but Shirley's were in front of him 00:28:32.590 --> 00:28:36.370 align:middle line:84% at the moment demanding more attention than he really 00:28:36.370 --> 00:28:39.340 align:middle line:84% wanted to pay, considering that for all intents and purposes 00:28:39.340 --> 00:28:41.680 align:middle line:90% those were sisterly legs. 00:28:41.680 --> 00:28:44.112 align:middle line:84% At least Ann didn't have legs like Shirley's, it 00:28:44.112 --> 00:28:45.820 align:middle line:84% seemed to be another point in Ann's favor 00:28:45.820 --> 00:28:49.210 align:middle line:90% at this stage of the game. 00:28:49.210 --> 00:28:50.350 align:middle line:90% What are you doing? 00:28:50.350 --> 00:28:54.460 align:middle line:84% He would ask Shirley after examining her legs in silence. 00:28:54.460 --> 00:28:58.060 align:middle line:84% I'm reading a mystery, Shirley would reply. 00:28:58.060 --> 00:28:59.560 align:middle line:84% But occasions like this it sometimes 00:28:59.560 --> 00:29:01.150 align:middle line:84% occurred to him that maybe Shirley had 00:29:01.150 --> 00:29:05.680 align:middle line:84% her version of his problem, maybe the sight of his legs 00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:09.040 align:middle line:84% annoyed her as much as the sight of her legs annoyed him. 00:29:09.040 --> 00:29:11.800 align:middle line:84% With that thought he would stretch his legs 00:29:11.800 --> 00:29:15.550 align:middle line:84% to look at them and perhaps work his thigh muscles watching them 00:29:15.550 --> 00:29:17.560 align:middle line:90% bunch and unbunch. 00:29:17.560 --> 00:29:20.980 align:middle line:84% Stop doing that, you're always doing that, Shirley would say, 00:29:20.980 --> 00:29:23.560 align:middle line:84% which seemed to confirm his suspicion that she 00:29:23.560 --> 00:29:26.770 align:middle line:84% noticed his legs, which were good legs incidentally. 00:29:26.770 --> 00:29:29.920 align:middle line:84% In fact his legs were probably his best part he would think, 00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:33.790 align:middle line:84% flexing a bicep and feeling, see how it was coming along. 00:29:33.790 --> 00:29:37.870 align:middle line:84% You're always feeling yourself, Shirley complained. 00:29:37.870 --> 00:29:41.740 align:middle line:84% Well, he was the only one who seemed to want to do it, 00:29:41.740 --> 00:29:43.450 align:middle line:84% not that he was unwilling to be felt 00:29:43.450 --> 00:29:45.310 align:middle line:84% by some sympathetic woman who would like 00:29:45.310 --> 00:29:49.460 align:middle line:84% his arms, and his legs, and his torso as much as he liked them. 00:29:49.460 --> 00:29:51.610 align:middle line:84% And at the thought of that nameless women 00:29:51.610 --> 00:29:53.320 align:middle line:84% admiring his body, he would tense 00:29:53.320 --> 00:29:55.240 align:middle line:84% the muscles of his abdomen and try 00:29:55.240 --> 00:29:58.900 align:middle line:84% to make them ripple drawing another rebuke from Shirley, 00:29:58.900 --> 00:30:02.500 align:middle line:84% who was evidently as conscious of what lay beneath his t-shirt 00:30:02.500 --> 00:30:05.860 align:middle line:84% as he was of what lay within her halter. 00:30:05.860 --> 00:30:07.270 align:middle line:90% Can't you just sit? 00:30:07.270 --> 00:30:08.350 align:middle line:90% She would ask. 00:30:08.350 --> 00:30:09.580 align:middle line:90% Do you want to do something? 00:30:09.580 --> 00:30:11.290 align:middle line:90% He would say. 00:30:11.290 --> 00:30:12.940 align:middle line:84% I'm reading a mystery, she would remind 00:30:12.940 --> 00:30:15.160 align:middle line:84% him blocking out her view of him with the pocketbook 00:30:15.160 --> 00:30:17.180 align:middle line:90% in her hand. 00:30:17.180 --> 00:30:19.070 align:middle line:84% Give me a drink of that Coke, he would say. 00:30:19.070 --> 00:30:21.920 align:middle line:84% Go get your own, she would reply and at that 00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:25.220 align:middle line:84% he might rise and lounge into the Hyatt's kitchen 00:30:25.220 --> 00:30:29.510 align:middle line:84% to open the refrigerator and see what was there. 00:30:29.510 --> 00:30:31.490 align:middle line:84% There was never a maid in the Hyatt's kitchen, 00:30:31.490 --> 00:30:33.380 align:middle line:84% because all summer long they kept open 00:30:33.380 --> 00:30:37.040 align:middle line:84% their townhouse, which for them was still inviting. 00:30:37.040 --> 00:30:39.110 align:middle line:84% They left their maid in town to keep house 00:30:39.110 --> 00:30:41.180 align:middle line:84% for Mr. Hyatt who had to sleep in white, 00:30:41.180 --> 00:30:44.470 align:middle line:84% because of an Standard Oil Company rumor 00:30:44.470 --> 00:30:46.220 align:middle line:84% that one of the senior men at the refinery 00:30:46.220 --> 00:30:47.690 align:middle line:84% should be on the spot at all times 00:30:47.690 --> 00:30:50.690 align:middle line:84% in case of fires or other emergencies. 00:30:50.690 --> 00:30:53.750 align:middle line:84% Mr. Hyatt shared the chair with Mr Musgrove and Mr Fields, 00:30:53.750 --> 00:30:56.090 align:middle line:84% didn't complain about having to babysit the refinery, 00:30:56.090 --> 00:30:58.400 align:middle line:84% but it was a dumb rule in Jerry's opinion. 00:30:58.400 --> 00:31:00.770 align:middle line:84% Suppose the whole refinery did explode and catch fire 00:31:00.770 --> 00:31:04.050 align:middle line:84% some night what was Uncle Horace supposed to do about that? 00:31:04.050 --> 00:31:07.370 align:middle line:84% He was plant superintendent not a fireman. 00:31:07.370 --> 00:31:11.360 align:middle line:84% Back on the porch with a bunch of grapes in his hand 00:31:11.360 --> 00:31:14.510 align:middle line:84% Jerry, would drop onto the lounge and again 00:31:14.510 --> 00:31:17.270 align:middle line:84% and look at Shirley not the sexy cover of the mystery story 00:31:17.270 --> 00:31:18.890 align:middle line:90% she was reading. 00:31:18.890 --> 00:31:20.810 align:middle line:84% Let's do something, he would say. 00:31:20.810 --> 00:31:23.630 align:middle line:84% Experimenting to see if he could toss a grape in the air 00:31:23.630 --> 00:31:25.460 align:middle line:90% and catch it with his mouth. 00:31:25.460 --> 00:31:28.170 align:middle line:84% I am doing something, Shirley would answer. 00:31:28.170 --> 00:31:30.740 align:middle line:84% Jerry, picking the grape off the floor 00:31:30.740 --> 00:31:33.170 align:middle line:84% and wiping sand from it would lean forward, 00:31:33.170 --> 00:31:36.740 align:middle line:84% I'll take you for a sail, he'd say, at which point 00:31:36.740 --> 00:31:40.040 align:middle line:84% Shirley would remind him that there was no wind. 00:31:40.040 --> 00:31:42.680 align:middle line:84% So having struck out there and eaten all the grapes, 00:31:42.680 --> 00:31:44.390 align:middle line:84% Jerry would move on to the forces 00:31:44.390 --> 00:31:48.010 align:middle line:84% to see what Phil and Linda felt like doing. 00:31:48.010 --> 00:31:50.860 align:middle line:84% Those summer afternoons seemed endless, 00:31:50.860 --> 00:31:56.080 align:middle line:84% they began with a quiet spell after lunch, the daydreaming 00:31:56.080 --> 00:31:59.980 align:middle line:84% period when he lay on his back and listen to the doves, 00:31:59.980 --> 00:32:02.290 align:middle line:84% to the far off who to the freight trains hauling 00:32:02.290 --> 00:32:06.250 align:middle line:84% steel from Gary, oil from Whiting along the New York 00:32:06.250 --> 00:32:09.460 align:middle line:84% Central, or the Pensy, or the Baltimore and Ohio 00:32:09.460 --> 00:32:13.390 align:middle line:84% tracks that snaked through the farmland to the South. 00:32:13.390 --> 00:32:17.050 align:middle line:84% Then moved by the desire to do something, 00:32:17.050 --> 00:32:20.830 align:middle line:84% to see someone he would begin the slow process of getting 00:32:20.830 --> 00:32:23.560 align:middle line:84% things started for the afternoon. 00:32:23.560 --> 00:32:26.590 align:middle line:84% Dropping it on Shirley, dropping in on Phil, 00:32:26.590 --> 00:32:28.600 align:middle line:84% and then dropping back in on Shirley to let her 00:32:28.600 --> 00:32:30.078 align:middle line:90% know the plans. 00:32:30.078 --> 00:32:31.870 align:middle line:84% We're going to play on the Ingleside court, 00:32:31.870 --> 00:32:33.640 align:middle line:90% he would tell her. 00:32:33.640 --> 00:32:37.420 align:middle line:84% So John Dixon car would have had his hour, Shirley roused 00:32:37.420 --> 00:32:40.660 align:middle line:84% at last would get up to find her tennis racket and her tennis 00:32:40.660 --> 00:32:41.740 align:middle line:90% shoes. 00:32:41.740 --> 00:32:44.680 align:middle line:84% And then they would face the problem of how 00:32:44.680 --> 00:32:46.930 align:middle line:90% to get to the Ingleside house. 00:32:46.930 --> 00:32:48.970 align:middle line:84% It was a mile by beach and a mile 00:32:48.970 --> 00:32:51.490 align:middle line:84% and a half by the winding roads, and who 00:32:51.490 --> 00:32:53.920 align:middle line:84% wanted to carry tennis rackets along the beach 00:32:53.920 --> 00:32:57.130 align:middle line:84% or walk anywhere on a day like this? 00:32:57.130 --> 00:33:00.480 align:middle line:84% One could run miles, yes, one could play tennis, 00:33:00.480 --> 00:33:03.240 align:middle line:84% yes, one could swim or sail for hours, 00:33:03.240 --> 00:33:06.030 align:middle line:90% yes, but one could not walk. 00:33:06.030 --> 00:33:10.050 align:middle line:84% So a car became necessary, but Mr. Engels and Mr. Forson 00:33:10.050 --> 00:33:12.330 align:middle line:84% had driven to work that morning in the Engels car, 00:33:12.330 --> 00:33:14.810 align:middle line:84% and Mrs. Engels and Mrs. Forson were shopping in Chesterton 00:33:14.810 --> 00:33:16.470 align:middle line:84% in the Thorson's car and Mrs. Hyatt 00:33:16.470 --> 00:33:17.880 align:middle line:84% was planning to use her car later 00:33:17.880 --> 00:33:20.520 align:middle line:84% in the afternoon to go have her hair done, 00:33:20.520 --> 00:33:23.940 align:middle line:84% so that left Nancy trained and her car to be roped in. 00:33:23.940 --> 00:33:26.640 align:middle line:84% Nancy was probably wondering what to do with herself anyway. 00:33:26.640 --> 00:33:29.220 align:middle line:84% Call Nancy, he would say to Shirley. 00:33:29.220 --> 00:33:33.420 align:middle line:84% Then the transportation problem had been thoroughly canvassed. 00:33:33.420 --> 00:33:36.900 align:middle line:84% From where he stood on the Hyatt's porch he could 00:33:36.900 --> 00:33:39.990 align:middle line:84% see the train house very clearly on the opposite ridge, 00:33:39.990 --> 00:33:42.690 align:middle line:84% standing out like the big eyesore it was. 00:33:42.690 --> 00:33:45.240 align:middle line:84% And if he lingered long enough he 00:33:45.240 --> 00:33:48.450 align:middle line:84% would see Nancy emerge, wide in tennis shorts 00:33:48.450 --> 00:33:51.090 align:middle line:84% switching her racket from side to side 00:33:51.090 --> 00:33:54.720 align:middle line:84% as she walked down the drive to climb into her ancient Packard, 00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:56.460 align:middle line:84% which had to be parked on a slope 00:33:56.460 --> 00:33:59.070 align:middle line:90% to give it a running start. 00:33:59.070 --> 00:34:02.160 align:middle line:84% Valiant through would then begin to roll silently 00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:05.340 align:middle line:84% down the driveway before it choked and coughed into life 00:34:05.340 --> 00:34:06.990 align:middle line:90% as it reached the road. 00:34:06.990 --> 00:34:09.750 align:middle line:84% At that point Jerry, would leave the highest porch 00:34:09.750 --> 00:34:12.090 align:middle line:84% to get his own racquet and tennis shoes. 00:34:12.090 --> 00:34:14.489 align:middle line:84% He would even be moving fairly fast by the time 00:34:14.489 --> 00:34:18.420 align:middle line:84% he reached the house, pausing only to tell Valine, 00:34:18.420 --> 00:34:21.600 align:middle line:84% that if his mother asked where he was when she came home tell 00:34:21.600 --> 00:34:24.030 align:middle line:90% her he'd gone to play tennis. 00:34:24.030 --> 00:34:26.489 align:middle line:84% Then he would be off down the steps to the road 00:34:26.489 --> 00:34:29.250 align:middle line:84% or soon he would hear the roar of valiant whose 00:34:29.250 --> 00:34:33.389 align:middle line:84% old engine, only eight or nine of whose 10 cylinders still 00:34:33.389 --> 00:34:35.730 align:middle line:84% seem to function, the car was a menace 00:34:35.730 --> 00:34:40.310 align:middle line:84% really only Mr. train would have kept it so long. 00:34:40.310 --> 00:34:43.400 align:middle line:84% Linda for us would like to sit on one of the jump seats 00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:44.960 align:middle line:84% and filled are not mine sprawling out 00:34:44.960 --> 00:34:46.909 align:middle line:84% in solitary grandeur on the back seat, 00:34:46.909 --> 00:34:51.690 align:middle line:84% surely we always sat up front next to Nancy and Jerry. 00:34:51.690 --> 00:34:54.239 align:middle line:84% Jerry, would slide in next to the girls where 00:34:54.239 --> 00:34:56.760 align:middle line:84% he would fling his left arm out along the back of the seat 00:34:56.760 --> 00:35:00.240 align:middle line:84% and feel Nancy's soft hair brushing his wrist. 00:35:00.240 --> 00:35:01.470 align:middle line:90% Do you have to crab so? 00:35:01.470 --> 00:35:04.110 align:middle line:84% Surely would say, pinned there between Jerry and Nancy 00:35:04.110 --> 00:35:06.900 align:middle line:84% and at that point Jerry would touch Nancy's shoulder 00:35:06.900 --> 00:35:08.610 align:middle line:84% with his fingers and say, you and me 00:35:08.610 --> 00:35:12.930 align:middle line:84% against Phil and Shirley, whereupon little Linda Fawcett 00:35:12.930 --> 00:35:13.740 align:middle line:90% would speak up. 00:35:13.740 --> 00:35:17.190 align:middle line:84% I'm not just going to chase balls, it's too hot to play, 00:35:17.190 --> 00:35:20.070 align:middle line:84% anyway Nancy would say nursing valiant food 00:35:20.070 --> 00:35:23.640 align:middle line:84% like a wounded battleship up and down hill, and around bends 00:35:23.640 --> 00:35:26.820 align:middle line:84% to the Ingleside, where she would pull into the driveway 00:35:26.820 --> 00:35:29.610 align:middle line:84% back and turn so that valiant food could get its running 00:35:29.610 --> 00:35:32.540 align:middle line:90% start and then cut the engine. 00:35:32.540 --> 00:35:36.380 align:middle line:84% They would pile out make their way across the untended lawn 00:35:36.380 --> 00:35:39.080 align:middle line:84% towards the court, Jerry casting backward 00:35:39.080 --> 00:35:42.710 align:middle line:84% glances at the drawn blinds of the closed house 00:35:42.710 --> 00:35:46.130 align:middle line:84% and wishing not for the first time 00:35:46.130 --> 00:35:50.240 align:middle line:84% but Rosalind family would move out earlier in the season. 00:35:50.240 --> 00:35:54.140 align:middle line:84% Why have a big summer place if you didn't use it more? 00:35:54.140 --> 00:35:58.180 align:middle line:84% Then sighing, he would turn his attention back 00:35:58.180 --> 00:36:02.230 align:middle line:84% to the girls at hand, particularly to Nancy. 00:36:02.230 --> 00:36:06.340 align:middle line:84% All those legs, all those arms, all those lovely breasts, 00:36:06.340 --> 00:36:08.470 align:middle line:90% in short what a body? 00:36:08.470 --> 00:36:10.090 align:middle line:84% Every summer for the last few summers, 00:36:10.090 --> 00:36:12.100 align:middle line:84% Nancy have been looking better and better. 00:36:12.100 --> 00:36:14.320 align:middle line:84% And now this summer she stretched and served 00:36:14.320 --> 00:36:17.380 align:middle line:84% on the Ingleside court or as she led 00:36:17.380 --> 00:36:21.590 align:middle line:84% tanning herself on the beach she looked just about perfect. 00:36:21.590 --> 00:36:23.820 align:middle line:84% At least Jerry, could see no flaws he 00:36:23.820 --> 00:36:26.160 align:middle line:90% had been observing her closely. 00:36:26.160 --> 00:36:30.930 align:middle line:84% There was just no doubt she had a terrific figure in her skin 00:36:30.930 --> 00:36:33.210 align:middle line:84% and she let him oil her back on the beach, 00:36:33.210 --> 00:36:35.160 align:middle line:90% felt like warm satin. 00:36:35.160 --> 00:36:36.907 align:middle line:90% Also she danced well. 00:36:36.907 --> 00:36:39.240 align:middle line:84% When they danced together to records in the highest game 00:36:39.240 --> 00:36:40.740 align:middle line:84% room at night she'd let him hold her 00:36:40.740 --> 00:36:44.400 align:middle line:84% almost as closely as he wanted, she was fun unlike Shirley. 00:36:44.400 --> 00:36:46.680 align:middle line:84% It was getting to be a real pain in the neck 00:36:46.680 --> 00:36:49.140 align:middle line:84% these days particularly on the beach. 00:36:49.140 --> 00:36:51.390 align:middle line:84% Jerry, would come out of the water feeling good 00:36:51.390 --> 00:36:54.390 align:middle line:84% suggest a game of keep away or underwater tag or nights 00:36:54.390 --> 00:36:58.510 align:middle line:84% and horses and Shirley would turn him down, 00:36:58.510 --> 00:37:01.440 align:middle line:84% in a provoking way she provoked Phil too. 00:37:01.440 --> 00:37:03.155 align:middle line:84% Sometimes she tried them too high, 00:37:03.155 --> 00:37:04.530 align:middle line:84% they would grab her arms and legs 00:37:04.530 --> 00:37:06.238 align:middle line:84% and lug her down to the water threatening 00:37:06.238 --> 00:37:08.490 align:middle line:84% to toss her into the lake sizzling with saline 00:37:08.490 --> 00:37:09.958 align:middle line:90% and irritation. 00:37:09.958 --> 00:37:11.250 align:middle line:90% What's the matter with you two? 00:37:11.250 --> 00:37:14.400 align:middle line:84% She would demand loftily as they manhandled her. 00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:16.920 align:middle line:84% We're saving you from sunstroke, Phil would explain. 00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:19.260 align:middle line:84% You get any doctor they won't serve you at the spa, 00:37:19.260 --> 00:37:20.700 align:middle line:90% Jerry would add. 00:37:20.700 --> 00:37:22.800 align:middle line:90% Very funny, Shirley would say. 00:37:22.800 --> 00:37:25.170 align:middle line:84% Now, if you two goons will put me down, 00:37:25.170 --> 00:37:28.240 align:middle line:84% she just didn't like being handled. 00:37:28.240 --> 00:37:29.910 align:middle line:90% But Nancy was not like that. 00:37:29.910 --> 00:37:31.560 align:middle line:90% Nancy was a good sport. 00:37:31.560 --> 00:37:34.870 align:middle line:84% You could get your hands on Nancy without annoying her. 00:37:34.870 --> 00:37:37.552 align:middle line:84% In fact she seemed to like it as much as Jerry did. 00:37:37.552 --> 00:37:39.510 align:middle line:84% With the result he had moments dancing with her 00:37:39.510 --> 00:37:41.890 align:middle line:84% or wrestling with her in the water 00:37:41.890 --> 00:37:43.620 align:middle line:84% and he had to think sad thoughts, 00:37:43.620 --> 00:37:45.960 align:middle line:84% and then go away and settle down and try to remember how 00:37:45.960 --> 00:37:48.990 align:middle line:90% serious he felt about Rosalyn. 00:37:48.990 --> 00:37:51.390 align:middle line:84% He did feel very serious about her, 00:37:51.390 --> 00:37:55.050 align:middle line:84% actually Nancy meant nothing to him compared to Rosalyn. 00:37:55.050 --> 00:37:58.780 align:middle line:84% And the girls of the State Park were less than nothing. 00:37:58.780 --> 00:38:00.250 align:middle line:90% State Park? 00:38:00.250 --> 00:38:02.440 align:middle line:84% Well, yes there was a State Park just 00:38:02.440 --> 00:38:04.000 align:middle line:84% down the beach beyond Horton's dock 00:38:04.000 --> 00:38:07.930 align:middle line:84% and somehow this summer Jerry, had begun to drift down there 00:38:07.930 --> 00:38:09.070 align:middle line:90% from time to time. 00:38:09.070 --> 00:38:11.860 align:middle line:84% He went out of simple curiosity just 00:38:11.860 --> 00:38:13.540 align:middle line:84% to see what the girls looked like, 00:38:13.540 --> 00:38:16.240 align:middle line:84% whether they'd talk to him if he sat down the beach near them 00:38:16.240 --> 00:38:19.270 align:middle line:90% and smiled in their direction. 00:38:19.270 --> 00:38:21.880 align:middle line:84% All he did was to ask them where they came from, would they 00:38:21.880 --> 00:38:23.920 align:middle line:84% like to swim or to go up to the park 00:38:23.920 --> 00:38:26.110 align:middle line:84% pavilion for a hot dog or an ice cream cone, 00:38:26.110 --> 00:38:29.170 align:middle line:84% he was not trying to pick up a girl at the park, 00:38:29.170 --> 00:38:32.860 align:middle line:84% he was just testing to see how difficult or easy 00:38:32.860 --> 00:38:36.940 align:middle line:84% it might be if ever decided he wanted to pick one up. 00:38:36.940 --> 00:38:40.030 align:middle line:84% In his mind the girls at the park 00:38:40.030 --> 00:38:42.550 align:middle line:84% were like the cat women in Michigan City. 00:38:42.550 --> 00:38:44.770 align:middle line:84% It was exciting just to know they were there, 00:38:44.770 --> 00:38:46.630 align:middle line:84% there was something to think about. 00:38:46.630 --> 00:38:48.910 align:middle line:84% They were like safety valves in a way. 00:38:48.910 --> 00:38:51.270 align:middle line:84% If things got too desperate at the shores, 00:38:51.270 --> 00:38:54.420 align:middle line:84% they could always go to Michigan City or to the park. 00:38:54.420 --> 00:38:57.270 align:middle line:84% The meanwhile throughout June he and Phil 00:38:57.270 --> 00:38:59.640 align:middle line:84% had stuck to the shores swimming, 00:38:59.640 --> 00:39:02.820 align:middle line:84% sailing, hiking, running, playing tennis and cards 00:39:02.820 --> 00:39:07.110 align:middle line:84% and dancing with the usual girls, nothing had happened. 00:39:07.110 --> 00:39:11.850 align:middle line:84% Yet something was going to happen, Jerry could feel it, 00:39:11.850 --> 00:39:13.290 align:middle line:90% it was coming. 00:39:13.290 --> 00:39:15.870 align:middle line:84% No matter what he did it would come. 00:39:15.870 --> 00:39:18.150 align:middle line:84% It would come even if he did nothing. 00:39:18.150 --> 00:39:20.850 align:middle line:84% He could lie motionless on a warm sand, 00:39:20.850 --> 00:39:24.180 align:middle line:84% but his eyes closed, his hands laced behind his head 00:39:24.180 --> 00:39:27.040 align:middle line:90% and still it would come to him. 00:39:27.040 --> 00:39:30.360 align:middle line:84% It would come like a great wave, a sash. 00:39:30.360 --> 00:39:33.240 align:middle line:84% He would be swept up rolled around, 00:39:33.240 --> 00:39:37.260 align:middle line:84% dragged down, and cast up by the waves of desire. 00:39:37.260 --> 00:39:41.190 align:middle line:84% It was all fairly clear in his mind, hazy but clear 00:39:41.190 --> 00:39:44.400 align:middle line:84% like a fine summer morning, he was going to have a woman. 00:39:44.400 --> 00:39:52.920 align:middle line:90% 00:39:52.920 --> 00:39:56.610 align:middle line:84% The Friday before the 4th of July, Jerry 00:39:56.610 --> 00:40:00.660 align:middle line:84% trotted down the beach to check the Ingleside house. 00:40:00.660 --> 00:40:03.535 align:middle line:84% It was about time for the family to move out. 00:40:03.535 --> 00:40:05.910 align:middle line:84% He knew Rosalind and her mother were back from New Mexico 00:40:05.910 --> 00:40:08.190 align:middle line:84% where they'd been for most of June, 00:40:08.190 --> 00:40:10.080 align:middle line:84% and though he suspected Rosalind was now 00:40:10.080 --> 00:40:12.690 align:middle line:84% cruising on her grandparents' yacht, 00:40:12.690 --> 00:40:15.150 align:middle line:84% he hoped to get information about her from her parents 00:40:15.150 --> 00:40:17.610 align:middle line:84% or from the moccasins, the couple who 00:40:17.610 --> 00:40:19.260 align:middle line:90% worked for the Ingleside. 00:40:19.260 --> 00:40:22.540 align:middle line:84% Generally came out to the shores first to open the house 00:40:22.540 --> 00:40:26.120 align:middle line:90% alas, no one seemed to be there. 00:40:26.120 --> 00:40:29.885 align:middle line:84% There were no signs of activity still on the off chance 00:40:29.885 --> 00:40:31.510 align:middle line:84% that someone was in the house, but just 00:40:31.510 --> 00:40:34.450 align:middle line:84% hadn't opened the curtains or put out the porch furniture. 00:40:34.450 --> 00:40:39.050 align:middle line:84% Jerry climbed the beach steps and began to prowl around, 00:40:39.050 --> 00:40:42.780 align:middle line:84% it was as he feared the place was still deserted. 00:40:42.780 --> 00:40:45.800 align:middle line:84% Yet now he was there he didn't feel like leaving. 00:40:45.800 --> 00:40:50.480 align:middle line:84% In fact, he wondered if he could find a way inside. 00:40:50.480 --> 00:40:53.150 align:middle line:84% He thought it would be nice to go lie 00:40:53.150 --> 00:40:56.060 align:middle line:84% for a while on Rosalind's bed, but it 00:40:56.060 --> 00:40:57.560 align:middle line:84% didn't seem to be any broken windows 00:40:57.560 --> 00:41:00.470 align:middle line:84% and naturally he wasn't going to break one, 00:41:00.470 --> 00:41:03.320 align:middle line:84% even if it were already cracked like the pain of this basement 00:41:03.320 --> 00:41:06.080 align:middle line:84% window, he crouched down to examine. 00:41:06.080 --> 00:41:08.660 align:middle line:84% He pressed his hand against the pain 00:41:08.660 --> 00:41:12.230 align:middle line:84% and was rewarded or alarmed or something 00:41:12.230 --> 00:41:15.740 align:middle line:84% to find he pressed part of the glass clear out of its frame, 00:41:15.740 --> 00:41:19.100 align:middle line:84% fell into the basement with a tinkling crash. 00:41:19.100 --> 00:41:21.890 align:middle line:84% Shouldn't press so hard, he thought. 00:41:21.890 --> 00:41:23.750 align:middle line:84% The window however, could now be unlatched 00:41:23.750 --> 00:41:26.810 align:middle line:84% if he felt like reaching through the opening he had made 00:41:26.810 --> 00:41:28.640 align:middle line:84% since the opening was there he didn't 00:41:28.640 --> 00:41:31.100 align:middle line:84% see what harm it would do if he used it, 00:41:31.100 --> 00:41:35.390 align:middle line:84% so be careful of the sharp edges of the remaining glass. 00:41:35.390 --> 00:41:38.467 align:middle line:84% He reached through and unhooked the window. 00:41:38.467 --> 00:41:40.050 align:middle line:84% A minute later he was lowering himself 00:41:40.050 --> 00:41:42.480 align:middle line:84% into the Ingleside basement wary about the broken 00:41:42.480 --> 00:41:44.310 align:middle line:90% glass on the floor. 00:41:44.310 --> 00:41:46.260 align:middle line:84% This is a sort of silly thing to be doing, 00:41:46.260 --> 00:41:49.020 align:middle line:84% he told himself as you move towards the steps leading up 00:41:49.020 --> 00:41:51.330 align:middle line:90% through the ground floor. 00:41:51.330 --> 00:41:55.740 align:middle line:84% Upstairs there was a closed house smell and almost 00:41:55.740 --> 00:41:58.950 align:middle line:84% a chill in the air, he didn't really like the feeling of it. 00:41:58.950 --> 00:42:01.170 align:middle line:84% He almost wished he hadn't come in. 00:42:01.170 --> 00:42:03.570 align:middle line:84% It was a dumb thing to be doing anyway wandering around 00:42:03.570 --> 00:42:06.840 align:middle line:84% in darkened rooms, where the draperies were pulled 00:42:06.840 --> 00:42:09.750 align:middle line:84% in the dining room chairs shoved in tight against the table, 00:42:09.750 --> 00:42:12.980 align:middle line:84% as if no one ever expected to eat here again. 00:42:12.980 --> 00:42:15.020 align:middle line:84% There are no flowers or newspapers and magazines 00:42:15.020 --> 00:42:18.380 align:middle line:84% anywhere in sight, and the tile floor of the living room 00:42:18.380 --> 00:42:22.300 align:middle line:84% felt cold and bare without the usual rugs. 00:42:22.300 --> 00:42:24.100 align:middle line:84% All empty houses look bad, but this 00:42:24.100 --> 00:42:27.310 align:middle line:84% has affected Jerry more adversely than the sight 00:42:27.310 --> 00:42:29.440 align:middle line:84% of his own family's cabin when they came out 00:42:29.440 --> 00:42:32.090 align:middle line:90% to open it in the spring. 00:42:32.090 --> 00:42:33.860 align:middle line:90% He wondered why? 00:42:33.860 --> 00:42:36.770 align:middle line:84% Decided the reason was that the Ingleside summer 00:42:36.770 --> 00:42:41.330 align:middle line:84% place was a real house, furnish like a townhouse and one 00:42:41.330 --> 00:42:43.970 align:middle line:84% expected it to look as if the moccasins are just arranged 00:42:43.970 --> 00:42:46.970 align:middle line:84% everything, just swept the hall and vacuumed the stair runner, 00:42:46.970 --> 00:42:49.040 align:middle line:84% this house didn't look at all right 00:42:49.040 --> 00:42:51.290 align:middle line:84% and its unused dusty state, and it 00:42:51.290 --> 00:42:53.758 align:middle line:84% was really weird to turn the faucets in the upstairs 00:42:53.758 --> 00:42:55.550 align:middle line:84% bathroom and realize they were already open 00:42:55.550 --> 00:42:58.160 align:middle line:90% and the water wasn't turned on. 00:42:58.160 --> 00:42:59.730 align:middle line:84% Rosalind's bedroom is at the back 00:42:59.730 --> 00:43:02.010 align:middle line:84% overlooking the lawn the tennis court. 00:43:02.010 --> 00:43:05.160 align:middle line:84% The striped mattress was covered by a white dust sheet, 00:43:05.160 --> 00:43:07.475 align:middle line:84% the pillows seem to have been put away somewhere 00:43:07.475 --> 00:43:09.750 align:middle line:84% and he certainly was not interested in finding 00:43:09.750 --> 00:43:12.990 align:middle line:90% them or lying down on the bed. 00:43:12.990 --> 00:43:15.210 align:middle line:90% So then why did he lie on it? 00:43:15.210 --> 00:43:17.280 align:middle line:84% This is absolutely nuts, he told himself. 00:43:17.280 --> 00:43:19.200 align:middle line:84% What an embarrassment it would be 00:43:19.200 --> 00:43:20.795 align:middle line:90% if the family were to drive up? 00:43:20.795 --> 00:43:22.170 align:middle line:84% How could he explain to them what 00:43:22.170 --> 00:43:24.660 align:middle line:84% he was doing in their house lying on Rosalind's bed 00:43:24.660 --> 00:43:27.150 align:middle line:84% when he couldn't even explain it to himself? 00:43:27.150 --> 00:43:29.610 align:middle line:90% Yet he didn't get up and leave. 00:43:29.610 --> 00:43:32.040 align:middle line:84% It was rumor, cozier in this room 00:43:32.040 --> 00:43:35.640 align:middle line:84% than it had been downstairs, it was almost stuffy. 00:43:35.640 --> 00:43:38.130 align:middle line:84% He felt like curling up and falling asleep, 00:43:38.130 --> 00:43:40.600 align:middle line:84% except that he was too excited for sleep. 00:43:40.600 --> 00:43:44.730 align:middle line:84% The sun glowed against the drawn blinds and his heart beat fast 00:43:44.730 --> 00:43:48.730 align:middle line:84% and he began to think deep thoughts about Rosalind. 00:43:48.730 --> 00:43:52.390 align:middle line:84% He loved her, there could be no doubt of it really. 00:43:52.390 --> 00:43:55.450 align:middle line:84% Often when he thought of her he felt his joints weakening 00:43:55.450 --> 00:43:57.370 align:middle line:90% and his head getting dizzy. 00:43:57.370 --> 00:44:00.480 align:middle line:84% Now, he seemed to be getting dizzy all over. 00:44:00.480 --> 00:44:03.090 align:middle line:84% Nancy train was perfect in one way physically, 00:44:03.090 --> 00:44:05.700 align:middle line:84% but Rosalind was perfect and always. 00:44:05.700 --> 00:44:08.670 align:middle line:84% She was the sort of girl there's one in every high school 00:44:08.670 --> 00:44:12.930 align:middle line:84% class, who proved you could be rich, and beautiful, 00:44:12.930 --> 00:44:17.490 align:middle line:84% and intelligent, and kind, and popular all at the same time. 00:44:17.490 --> 00:44:19.560 align:middle line:84% And as Jerry thought of Rosalind perfections 00:44:19.560 --> 00:44:23.790 align:middle line:84% he felt his heart expand, felt ready to do anything for her, 00:44:23.790 --> 00:44:27.510 align:middle line:84% she was just so nice, so good, so beautiful 00:44:27.510 --> 00:44:29.610 align:middle line:84% and friendly and nice and good-- she 00:44:29.610 --> 00:44:32.670 align:middle line:84% was just more than he could possibly put into words. 00:44:32.670 --> 00:44:35.640 align:middle line:84% Kneeing and sighing with love he rose from her bed 00:44:35.640 --> 00:44:38.052 align:middle line:84% and wandered towards her dresser. 00:44:38.052 --> 00:44:41.990 align:middle line:84% And now who is that young man he saw in the mirror? 00:44:41.990 --> 00:44:46.370 align:middle line:84% He looked at himself without the automatic and friendly 00:44:46.370 --> 00:44:49.040 align:middle line:84% recognition he usually felt when he caught 00:44:49.040 --> 00:44:50.420 align:middle line:90% sight of his own reflection. 00:44:50.420 --> 00:44:54.890 align:middle line:84% Who was this guy in the electric red bathing suit? 00:44:54.890 --> 00:45:00.230 align:middle line:84% Sharp looking he thought, nice build, he told himself. 00:45:00.230 --> 00:45:02.090 align:middle line:84% And somewhere in the back of his head 00:45:02.090 --> 00:45:05.180 align:middle line:84% he definitely repudiated his mother's observation 00:45:05.180 --> 00:45:09.920 align:middle line:84% that his new red bathing suit gave him a vulgar look, vulgar? 00:45:09.920 --> 00:45:12.110 align:middle line:84% There was nothing vulgar about wearing a sharp tight 00:45:12.110 --> 00:45:14.090 align:middle line:90% little bathing suit? 00:45:14.090 --> 00:45:17.420 align:middle line:84% Surely it was critical of it too, but who was she to talk? 00:45:17.420 --> 00:45:19.512 align:middle line:90% She with her to pieces. 00:45:19.512 --> 00:45:21.470 align:middle line:84% Anyway the girls at the park seemed to think he 00:45:21.470 --> 00:45:24.425 align:middle line:84% looked OK in his suit and Rosalind-- 00:45:24.425 --> 00:45:26.520 align:middle line:90% how would Rosalyn think of it? 00:45:26.520 --> 00:45:28.860 align:middle line:90% What did she think of it really? 00:45:28.860 --> 00:45:30.990 align:middle line:84% He knelt down and began to go through her dresser 00:45:30.990 --> 00:45:33.300 align:middle line:84% drawers and almost absent minded way, 00:45:33.300 --> 00:45:36.780 align:middle line:84% she liked him of course after all they were going steady, 00:45:36.780 --> 00:45:39.420 align:middle line:84% so this is where the pillows were he closed in that room. 00:45:39.420 --> 00:45:42.120 align:middle line:84% But on the other hand, nothing had happened, 00:45:42.120 --> 00:45:45.390 align:middle line:84% still that didn't mean bedspread in the next drawer he closed it 00:45:45.390 --> 00:45:48.720 align:middle line:84% too, nothing was going to happen and he 00:45:48.720 --> 00:45:51.180 align:middle line:84% started to think of the postcard Rosalind sent him 00:45:51.180 --> 00:45:53.070 align:middle line:84% from the dude ranch in New Mexico, where 00:45:53.070 --> 00:45:54.720 align:middle line:90% she'd been with her mother. 00:45:54.720 --> 00:45:57.180 align:middle line:84% The postcard had a picture of a sorry looking mule 00:45:57.180 --> 00:45:59.700 align:middle line:84% with its head down standing against the background 00:45:59.700 --> 00:46:03.530 align:middle line:84% of cactus with a snow capped mountain in the distance. 00:46:03.530 --> 00:46:06.560 align:middle line:84% The message was, heads up see you soon. 00:46:06.560 --> 00:46:09.740 align:middle line:84% She'd signed it with a smiling stylized drawing 00:46:09.740 --> 00:46:13.100 align:middle line:84% of her own smiling face, Rosalind drew very well. 00:46:13.100 --> 00:46:16.170 align:middle line:90% 00:46:16.170 --> 00:46:19.140 align:middle line:84% And the card showed she thought about him when they were apart, 00:46:19.140 --> 00:46:21.900 align:middle line:84% it showed too she understood how much he missed her, 00:46:21.900 --> 00:46:23.880 align:middle line:90% head's up see you soon. 00:46:23.880 --> 00:46:26.250 align:middle line:84% That sounded promising, didn't it? 00:46:26.250 --> 00:46:29.460 align:middle line:84% He sighed and removed from the top drawer of her dresser 00:46:29.460 --> 00:46:32.865 align:middle line:84% the yellow bathing suit she had worn last summer, 00:46:32.865 --> 00:46:35.490 align:middle line:84% and never exactly seen what the inside of a girl's bathing suit 00:46:35.490 --> 00:46:37.230 align:middle line:90% was like. 00:46:37.230 --> 00:46:39.217 align:middle line:84% And it proved to be very interesting. 00:46:39.217 --> 00:46:41.550 align:middle line:84% There was not a whole lot of complexity between the legs 00:46:41.550 --> 00:46:43.508 align:middle line:84% but the part that covered the breast was really 00:46:43.508 --> 00:46:45.150 align:middle line:90% quite ingenious. 00:46:45.150 --> 00:46:48.520 align:middle line:84% Without thinking he began to kiss the cloth there. 00:46:48.520 --> 00:46:50.320 align:middle line:90% On the other hand, he thought-- 00:46:50.320 --> 00:46:52.803 align:middle line:90% in the other hand, what? 00:46:52.803 --> 00:46:54.220 align:middle line:84% He found he couldn't remember what 00:46:54.220 --> 00:46:56.077 align:middle line:84% he'd been thinking in the first place, 00:46:56.077 --> 00:46:58.660 align:middle line:84% then he caught sight of himself in the mirror kissing Rosalind 00:46:58.660 --> 00:46:59.160 align:middle line:90% bathing-- 00:46:59.160 --> 00:47:04.950 align:middle line:90% 00:47:04.950 --> 00:47:07.452 align:middle line:84% and it could be very interesting. 00:47:07.452 --> 00:47:09.660 align:middle line:84% It was not a whole lot of complexity between the legs 00:47:09.660 --> 00:47:11.618 align:middle line:84% but the part that covered the breast was really 00:47:11.618 --> 00:47:13.170 align:middle line:90% quite ingenious. 00:47:13.170 --> 00:47:16.510 align:middle line:84% Without thinking he began to kiss the cloth there. 00:47:16.510 --> 00:47:20.693 align:middle line:84% On the other hand, he thought on the other hand, what? 00:47:20.693 --> 00:47:22.110 align:middle line:84% He found he couldn't remember what 00:47:22.110 --> 00:47:23.805 align:middle line:84% he'd been thinking in the first place, 00:47:23.805 --> 00:47:25.680 align:middle line:84% then he caught sight of himself in the mirror 00:47:25.680 --> 00:47:27.150 align:middle line:90% kissing Rosalind bathing suit. 00:47:27.150 --> 00:47:29.670 align:middle line:90% 00:47:29.670 --> 00:47:33.270 align:middle line:84% He blushed and abruptly dropped the suit back into the drawer. 00:47:33.270 --> 00:47:36.750 align:middle line:84% I should really get out of here, he told himself. 00:47:36.750 --> 00:47:39.990 align:middle line:84% Minutes later, he was exploring Rosalind's closet. 00:47:39.990 --> 00:47:42.798 align:middle line:84% Not much here, he thought looking at some summer 00:47:42.798 --> 00:47:44.340 align:middle line:84% dresses on hangers and wondering what 00:47:44.340 --> 00:47:46.530 align:middle line:90% was in that box on the shelf. 00:47:46.530 --> 00:47:49.650 align:middle line:84% There was a person in, he looked inside and found a pencil, 00:47:49.650 --> 00:47:51.930 align:middle line:90% a lipstick, a comb, and a penny. 00:47:51.930 --> 00:47:54.240 align:middle line:84% They depressed him and he put the purse away, 00:47:54.240 --> 00:47:57.630 align:middle line:84% it was definitely time to leave except that as he moved 00:47:57.630 --> 00:48:00.420 align:middle line:84% towards the stairway he passed the door of Rosalind's parents' 00:48:00.420 --> 00:48:02.790 align:middle line:90% bedroom. 00:48:02.790 --> 00:48:04.050 align:middle line:90% How could he be doing this? 00:48:04.050 --> 00:48:08.220 align:middle line:84% He wondered as he started to go through Mrs. Ingleside things. 00:48:08.220 --> 00:48:10.403 align:middle line:84% He found some silk panties, I muscled, 00:48:10.403 --> 00:48:11.820 align:middle line:84% he thought as he picked up a pair, 00:48:11.820 --> 00:48:14.195 align:middle line:84% I really shouldn't-- he said to himself as he rubbed them 00:48:14.195 --> 00:48:17.985 align:middle line:84% against his cheek yet they felt rather nice, it probably-- 00:48:17.985 --> 00:48:21.008 align:middle line:84% or what harm did it do if he just briefly kissed them 00:48:21.008 --> 00:48:22.425 align:middle line:84% and got the hell out of the house? 00:48:22.425 --> 00:48:25.230 align:middle line:90% 00:48:25.230 --> 00:48:26.890 align:middle line:84% Except that one thing led to another, 00:48:26.890 --> 00:48:29.040 align:middle line:84% he realized as he began to go through Mr Ingleside 00:48:29.040 --> 00:48:31.140 align:middle line:90% drawers a few minutes later. 00:48:31.140 --> 00:48:34.230 align:middle line:84% He wasn't going to kiss Mr Ingleside under things, 00:48:34.230 --> 00:48:36.330 align:middle line:84% but actually these were very good socks, 00:48:36.330 --> 00:48:39.930 align:middle line:84% he thought-- made out of some particularly fine cotton. 00:48:39.930 --> 00:48:42.570 align:middle line:90% He squeezed them. 00:48:42.570 --> 00:48:45.450 align:middle line:84% Of course, Mr Ingleside could afford the best, 00:48:45.450 --> 00:48:47.580 align:middle line:84% look at all these summer shirts for instance, 00:48:47.580 --> 00:48:51.390 align:middle line:84% Jerry ran his hands through the pile, grate he thought. 00:48:51.390 --> 00:48:53.715 align:middle line:84% But there was a serious problem involved in all this 00:48:53.715 --> 00:48:55.590 align:middle line:84% it amounted to the question of whether or not 00:48:55.590 --> 00:48:58.740 align:middle line:84% he was crazy to have broken into the house in the first place 00:48:58.740 --> 00:49:00.510 align:middle line:90% and then to be doing this. 00:49:00.510 --> 00:49:03.270 align:middle line:84% He looked up for Mr Ingleside shirt drawer 00:49:03.270 --> 00:49:05.490 align:middle line:84% and saw himself reflected in the mirror 00:49:05.490 --> 00:49:07.590 align:middle line:90% over Mr Ingleside bureau. 00:49:07.590 --> 00:49:11.130 align:middle line:84% Was this really the Jerry Engels everybody liked? 00:49:11.130 --> 00:49:12.810 align:middle line:84% The Jerry Engels, everybody thought 00:49:12.810 --> 00:49:16.290 align:middle line:84% was such a nice normal friendly guy? 00:49:16.290 --> 00:49:21.030 align:middle line:84% He shook his head doubtfully, then moved by impulses goofier 00:49:21.030 --> 00:49:23.370 align:middle line:84% than ever he stuck out his tongue 00:49:23.370 --> 00:49:25.560 align:middle line:90% and gave himself the Raspberry. 00:49:25.560 --> 00:49:28.920 align:middle line:84% Oddly enough that crazy gesture had a sensitive effect. 00:49:28.920 --> 00:49:30.510 align:middle line:84% He grinned at himself in a normal way 00:49:30.510 --> 00:49:34.110 align:middle line:84% and abruptly began to retrace his route through the house. 00:49:34.110 --> 00:49:36.330 align:middle line:84% A few minutes later, he was in the sunshine 00:49:36.330 --> 00:49:41.040 align:middle line:84% once more staring thoughtfully at the broken window. 00:49:41.040 --> 00:49:43.290 align:middle line:84% It's probably all right, he told himself. 00:49:43.290 --> 00:49:45.720 align:middle line:84% The house would be opened soon, and any anyway 00:49:45.720 --> 00:49:48.390 align:middle line:84% there were no burglars in Indiana shores 00:49:48.390 --> 00:49:51.360 align:middle line:84% and with Eric Anderson at the guard stand on the only road 00:49:51.360 --> 00:49:55.920 align:middle line:84% into town, there's not much danger burglars getting in. 00:49:55.920 --> 00:49:58.110 align:middle line:84% Now, I must skip Rosalind's arrival 00:49:58.110 --> 00:50:00.120 align:middle line:84% aboard her grandparents' yacht, you just take it 00:50:00.120 --> 00:50:01.350 align:middle line:90% from me it's a great scene. 00:50:01.350 --> 00:50:08.700 align:middle line:84% And in order to complete this particular section there's 00:50:08.700 --> 00:50:10.650 align:middle line:84% a 4th of July party, the fireworks 00:50:10.650 --> 00:50:12.780 align:middle line:84% are shot off, there's some dancing, 00:50:12.780 --> 00:50:15.360 align:middle line:84% Jerry gets very moody as he dances with Rosalind 00:50:15.360 --> 00:50:19.770 align:middle line:84% and annoys her a bit, and then goes away and thinks about 00:50:19.770 --> 00:50:21.210 align:middle line:84% and decides he ought to apologize, 00:50:21.210 --> 00:50:22.740 align:middle line:84% comes back to apologize, she says 00:50:22.740 --> 00:50:24.660 align:middle line:90% she wants to be taken home. 00:50:24.660 --> 00:50:27.690 align:middle line:84% OK I'll walk you, Jerry said, she-- 00:50:27.690 --> 00:50:30.990 align:middle line:84% that's Rosalind, tried to catch his eyes but he avoided really 00:50:30.990 --> 00:50:33.690 align:middle line:84% looking at her, he couldn't start apologizing right there 00:50:33.690 --> 00:50:35.970 align:middle line:90% in front of Phil. 00:50:35.970 --> 00:50:38.390 align:middle line:84% Then when they were out in the night 00:50:38.390 --> 00:50:39.890 align:middle line:84% instead of beginning with an apology 00:50:39.890 --> 00:50:42.090 align:middle line:84% he tried to kiss her on the lips. 00:50:42.090 --> 00:50:45.510 align:middle line:84% She let the kiss begin, but then pushed him back. 00:50:45.510 --> 00:50:47.970 align:middle line:90% Behave yourself, she said. 00:50:47.970 --> 00:50:50.850 align:middle line:84% They moved across the parking area stumbling a little, 00:50:50.850 --> 00:50:52.440 align:middle line:84% party has been up at the clubhouse 00:50:52.440 --> 00:50:54.240 align:middle line:90% at the top of the high dune. 00:50:54.240 --> 00:50:58.212 align:middle line:84% He quite forgotten move across the parking area 00:50:58.212 --> 00:51:00.420 align:middle line:84% stumbling a little, because Jerry insisted on holding 00:51:00.420 --> 00:51:02.310 align:middle line:90% her so close against him. 00:51:02.310 --> 00:51:04.350 align:middle line:84% He'd quite forgotten his intentions. 00:51:04.350 --> 00:51:06.930 align:middle line:90% Apology was far from his mind. 00:51:06.930 --> 00:51:08.790 align:middle line:84% At the edge of the dune he stopped 00:51:08.790 --> 00:51:11.220 align:middle line:90% and tried to kiss her again. 00:51:11.220 --> 00:51:13.800 align:middle line:84% I don't like this Jerry, she said. 00:51:13.800 --> 00:51:15.660 align:middle line:90% You don't love me, he said. 00:51:15.660 --> 00:51:18.270 align:middle line:84% I certainly don't when you behave like this. 00:51:18.270 --> 00:51:20.760 align:middle line:84% He had her hands on his, was trying 00:51:20.760 --> 00:51:24.220 align:middle line:84% to push her arms behind her back. 00:51:24.220 --> 00:51:28.260 align:middle line:84% She resisted so that they seemed almost to be hand wrestling. 00:51:28.260 --> 00:51:30.570 align:middle line:90% You don't, Jerry repeated. 00:51:30.570 --> 00:51:32.130 align:middle line:90% I certainly don't, she agreed. 00:51:32.130 --> 00:51:33.780 align:middle line:84% With a wrench she released herself, 00:51:33.780 --> 00:51:35.280 align:middle line:84% now stop that, she commanded, you're 00:51:35.280 --> 00:51:39.140 align:middle line:84% going to make me sorry I'm back, you're spoiling the evening. 00:51:39.140 --> 00:51:42.200 align:middle line:84% They had arguments like this before during their dates 00:51:42.200 --> 00:51:47.300 align:middle line:84% in Chicago, and always before Jerry had become contrite 00:51:47.300 --> 00:51:51.180 align:middle line:84% now he felt justified, almost angry. 00:51:51.180 --> 00:51:54.120 align:middle line:84% I love you, he told her in a bullying voice, 00:51:54.120 --> 00:51:58.650 align:middle line:84% the implication being she owed him her love. 00:51:58.650 --> 00:52:00.960 align:middle line:90% Then behave yourself, she said. 00:52:00.960 --> 00:52:03.113 align:middle line:84% Reaching down she removed her shoes, 00:52:03.113 --> 00:52:04.530 align:middle line:84% and Jerry bent in a different mood 00:52:04.530 --> 00:52:06.120 align:middle line:84% she would have removed her stockings as well, 00:52:06.120 --> 00:52:08.578 align:middle line:84% but now she preferred to rule them running through the sand 00:52:08.578 --> 00:52:10.860 align:middle line:84% rather than take them off in his presence. 00:52:10.860 --> 00:52:14.160 align:middle line:84% Come on, she said, she started down the dune. 00:52:14.160 --> 00:52:15.750 align:middle line:84% Jerry, stayed to remove his own shoes 00:52:15.750 --> 00:52:17.833 align:middle line:84% and then caught up with her halfway down the dune, 00:52:17.833 --> 00:52:19.680 align:middle line:84% where they had to run at top speed 00:52:19.680 --> 00:52:21.690 align:middle line:84% just to keep their feet under them. 00:52:21.690 --> 00:52:25.440 align:middle line:84% As they near the low beach dunes Rosalind cried out abruptly, 00:52:25.440 --> 00:52:26.640 align:middle line:90% stop. 00:52:26.640 --> 00:52:28.740 align:middle line:84% The ball of her foot and come down hard 00:52:28.740 --> 00:52:31.560 align:middle line:84% on one of the white needle sharp growth just 00:52:31.560 --> 00:52:33.600 align:middle line:84% beneath the surface of the sand growth 00:52:33.600 --> 00:52:36.390 align:middle line:84% from which clumps of beach grass sprouted. 00:52:36.390 --> 00:52:37.140 align:middle line:90% What's the matter? 00:52:37.140 --> 00:52:38.970 align:middle line:90% Jerry asked. 00:52:38.970 --> 00:52:40.830 align:middle line:84% I stepped on some grass, she said. 00:52:40.830 --> 00:52:42.880 align:middle line:84% She sat down to examine her injury. 00:52:42.880 --> 00:52:47.940 align:middle line:84% Let me see, Jerry knelt on the sand and looked at her foot. 00:52:47.940 --> 00:52:52.220 align:middle line:84% There was a spot of blood for her skin had been punctured. 00:52:52.220 --> 00:52:55.040 align:middle line:84% Their heads were close together and he could smell her hair 00:52:55.040 --> 00:52:56.583 align:middle line:84% and holding her slim ankle he could 00:52:56.583 --> 00:52:59.000 align:middle line:84% feel the pulse of her heart beating strongly after the run 00:52:59.000 --> 00:53:02.780 align:middle line:84% down on the dune, he began to caress the ankle. 00:53:02.780 --> 00:53:04.970 align:middle line:84% With the return of tenderness and generous feeling 00:53:04.970 --> 00:53:07.053 align:middle line:90% he began to kiss her neck. 00:53:07.053 --> 00:53:08.720 align:middle line:84% Some minutes later, they were lying side 00:53:08.720 --> 00:53:10.910 align:middle line:84% by side on the sand kissing each other happily, 00:53:10.910 --> 00:53:14.480 align:middle line:84% in a fresh advance by Jerry caused Rosalind to draw back. 00:53:14.480 --> 00:53:16.040 align:middle line:90% No, she said. 00:53:16.040 --> 00:53:19.520 align:middle line:84% She sat up, you want too much, she told you. 00:53:19.520 --> 00:53:22.940 align:middle line:84% He remained lying on the sand looking at her head silhouetted 00:53:22.940 --> 00:53:24.620 align:middle line:90% against the night sky. 00:53:24.620 --> 00:53:26.930 align:middle line:84% He could not see her expression, but he 00:53:26.930 --> 00:53:31.010 align:middle line:84% could imagine the serious, almost sad look that came over 00:53:31.010 --> 00:53:33.170 align:middle line:90% her when she stopped him. 00:53:33.170 --> 00:53:35.840 align:middle line:90% Let's go, she said. 00:53:35.840 --> 00:53:38.630 align:middle line:84% He continued to lie one hand extended towards her, 00:53:38.630 --> 00:53:41.540 align:middle line:90% sadness was invading him. 00:53:41.540 --> 00:53:43.880 align:middle line:90% Come on Jerry, Rosalind said. 00:53:43.880 --> 00:53:46.320 align:middle line:84% She got to her feet and stood over him. 00:53:46.320 --> 00:53:49.070 align:middle line:84% He reached for her ankle and circled it with his hand. 00:53:49.070 --> 00:53:51.200 align:middle line:90% Jerry, she said. 00:53:51.200 --> 00:53:54.470 align:middle line:84% He felt he could not help himself or say anything. 00:53:54.470 --> 00:53:58.100 align:middle line:84% He remained lying on the sand caressing her ankle 00:53:58.100 --> 00:54:01.820 align:middle line:84% with one hand staring up at her face, which he could not see. 00:54:01.820 --> 00:54:03.740 align:middle line:90% Get up, she told him. 00:54:03.740 --> 00:54:08.100 align:middle line:84% And with her free foot she kicked him lightly in the ribs. 00:54:08.100 --> 00:54:10.590 align:middle line:84% He released the anger but remained lying on his back 00:54:10.590 --> 00:54:13.260 align:middle line:84% on the sand, one arm flung out towards her feet. 00:54:13.260 --> 00:54:17.220 align:middle line:84% Oh, get up, she said, her voice sounding to him both tender 00:54:17.220 --> 00:54:18.630 align:middle line:90% and exasperated. 00:54:18.630 --> 00:54:21.120 align:middle line:90% Get up, please. 00:54:21.120 --> 00:54:23.140 align:middle line:90% I love you, he told her. 00:54:23.140 --> 00:54:25.500 align:middle line:84% Jerry, I'm going home, she said and she 00:54:25.500 --> 00:54:28.770 align:middle line:84% started to move off through the grass towards the beach. 00:54:28.770 --> 00:54:31.350 align:middle line:84% A few feet away she stopped to look back at him. 00:54:31.350 --> 00:54:33.390 align:middle line:90% All right, good night, she said. 00:54:33.390 --> 00:54:37.410 align:middle line:84% But her form disappeared as she went down onto the beach. 00:54:37.410 --> 00:54:40.230 align:middle line:84% Jerry continued to lie looking up at the moon, 00:54:40.230 --> 00:54:43.260 align:middle line:84% a minute later Rosalind reappeared. 00:54:43.260 --> 00:54:46.260 align:middle line:84% If you don't get up I'm going home alone, she said. 00:54:46.260 --> 00:54:52.710 align:middle line:84% Sadly, slowly, reluctantly, wearily, Jerry got to his feet 00:54:52.710 --> 00:54:56.940 align:middle line:84% all the sorrow, and weariness, and sadness of the world 00:54:56.940 --> 00:54:59.550 align:middle line:84% seem to be expressed in every movement 00:54:59.550 --> 00:55:01.950 align:middle line:84% as he picked up his shoes, which he had tied together 00:55:01.950 --> 00:55:05.520 align:middle line:84% by their laces and slung them over his shoulder. 00:55:05.520 --> 00:55:09.450 align:middle line:84% I'm sorry, Rosalind said, but you know what I think. 00:55:09.450 --> 00:55:11.430 align:middle line:90% Jerry nodded wordlessly. 00:55:11.430 --> 00:55:14.610 align:middle line:84% Now come on, Rosalind said, her voice almost pleading 00:55:14.610 --> 00:55:17.640 align:middle line:84% for these scenes affected her as much as they did him, 00:55:17.640 --> 00:55:20.700 align:middle line:84% and she was not what he made her seem when he sprawled 00:55:20.700 --> 00:55:22.170 align:middle line:90% helplessly at her feet. 00:55:22.170 --> 00:55:26.130 align:middle line:84% She was not really domineering or even particularly strong 00:55:26.130 --> 00:55:28.270 align:middle line:84% though she was not unsure of herself. 00:55:28.270 --> 00:55:31.890 align:middle line:84% She was simply so nice that she was moved by the sight of Jerry 00:55:31.890 --> 00:55:33.900 align:middle line:84% wanting something she herself didn't want, 00:55:33.900 --> 00:55:37.020 align:middle line:84% but which was in her power to let him have. 00:55:37.020 --> 00:55:40.770 align:middle line:84% He realized that he preyed upon her good feelings 00:55:40.770 --> 00:55:43.350 align:middle line:84% when he made it seem he was suffering, because she wouldn't 00:55:43.350 --> 00:55:45.060 align:middle line:90% go all the way with him. 00:55:45.060 --> 00:55:48.780 align:middle line:84% Sometimes that realization made him feel ashamed of himself. 00:55:48.780 --> 00:55:52.140 align:middle line:84% He felt ashamed now, remembering he 00:55:52.140 --> 00:55:55.260 align:middle line:84% had meant to apologize for his uncouth behavior at the dance 00:55:55.260 --> 00:55:58.650 align:middle line:84% and then instead of apologizing and tried to seduce her. 00:55:58.650 --> 00:56:00.660 align:middle line:90% Let me carry you, he said. 00:56:00.660 --> 00:56:04.230 align:middle line:84% Rosalind was limping slightly, she shrugged. 00:56:04.230 --> 00:56:06.120 align:middle line:90% It's too far, I'm all right. 00:56:06.120 --> 00:56:08.040 align:middle line:90% Jerry picked her up anyway. 00:56:08.040 --> 00:56:08.985 align:middle line:90% I'm sorry, he said. 00:56:08.985 --> 00:56:11.850 align:middle line:84% And Rosalind sensing the crisis was over 00:56:11.850 --> 00:56:15.060 align:middle line:84% put her arms around his neck, she let him kiss her. 00:56:15.060 --> 00:56:18.780 align:middle line:84% I'm sorry too, she said, don't be mad. 00:56:18.780 --> 00:56:20.850 align:middle line:84% A week later, he went to Michigan City, 00:56:20.850 --> 00:56:23.220 align:middle line:84% this had nothing to do with Rosalind. 00:56:23.220 --> 00:56:25.055 align:middle line:84% It was not being faithful to her, 00:56:25.055 --> 00:56:27.180 align:middle line:84% she didn't want him that way and if she should ever 00:56:27.180 --> 00:56:28.920 align:middle line:84% change her mind about it, he probably 00:56:28.920 --> 00:56:33.010 align:middle line:90% ought to be well initiated. 00:56:33.010 --> 00:56:34.010 align:middle line:90% What do you say to them? 00:56:34.010 --> 00:56:36.140 align:middle line:90% He asked Alex Walton. 00:56:36.140 --> 00:56:39.391 align:middle line:90% Say hiya babe, Walker suggested. 00:56:39.391 --> 00:56:41.270 align:middle line:84% Do I mean, seriously how do you talk to them? 00:56:41.270 --> 00:56:42.530 align:middle line:90% Jerry asked. 00:56:42.530 --> 00:56:43.460 align:middle line:90% Who's going to talk? 00:56:43.460 --> 00:56:45.800 align:middle line:90% Walker, wanted to know. 00:56:45.800 --> 00:56:48.410 align:middle line:84% He drove his own jalopy with a cigarette dangling 00:56:48.410 --> 00:56:51.290 align:middle line:84% from his lips obviously enjoying a sense of superiority 00:56:51.290 --> 00:56:53.330 align:middle line:84% over Jerry but that was all right. 00:56:53.330 --> 00:56:56.720 align:middle line:84% Jerry was not proud, but someone was more intelligent 00:56:56.720 --> 00:56:59.720 align:middle line:84% or had a better character, or was a better swimmer 00:56:59.720 --> 00:57:00.680 align:middle line:90% than himself. 00:57:00.680 --> 00:57:03.140 align:middle line:84% Jerry could accept the fact, he was used to it. 00:57:03.140 --> 00:57:06.320 align:middle line:84% After all his own sister Ann was a lot more intelligent 00:57:06.320 --> 00:57:09.980 align:middle line:84% than he was, and so for that matter with Shirley and Phil. 00:57:09.980 --> 00:57:12.620 align:middle line:84% In fact, Jerry considered most of his friends 00:57:12.620 --> 00:57:15.620 align:middle line:84% to be better than himself and at least some respect. 00:57:15.620 --> 00:57:19.100 align:middle line:84% And certainly Walker had to be considered better at sex, 00:57:19.100 --> 00:57:20.870 align:middle line:90% he'd had some experience. 00:57:20.870 --> 00:57:24.778 align:middle line:84% Only it would be nice if he were just a little more helpful. 00:57:24.778 --> 00:57:26.320 align:middle line:84% It was a private house that a rundown 00:57:26.320 --> 00:57:29.770 align:middle line:84% section of Michigan City Jerry had never been in before. 00:57:29.770 --> 00:57:32.440 align:middle line:84% Walker parked at the curb and together they went up the walk 00:57:32.440 --> 00:57:35.290 align:middle line:84% and climb the port steps to ring the bell. 00:57:35.290 --> 00:57:37.720 align:middle line:84% The house looked dark but the door opened almost at once, 00:57:37.720 --> 00:57:41.290 align:middle line:84% and Jerry found himself staring at a big unfriendly looking man 00:57:41.290 --> 00:57:44.913 align:middle line:84% in his shirtsleeves holding a newspaper in one hand. 00:57:44.913 --> 00:57:47.080 align:middle line:84% He looked them over then closed the door behind them 00:57:47.080 --> 00:57:49.810 align:middle line:90% called out, Gretch? 00:57:49.810 --> 00:57:52.572 align:middle line:84% It was like a silent house key holder letting them in, 00:57:52.572 --> 00:57:55.030 align:middle line:84% summoning the women of the house to deal with the situation 00:57:55.030 --> 00:57:58.390 align:middle line:84% and then retiring to easy chair in the living room, 00:57:58.390 --> 00:58:00.310 align:middle line:84% where he started to read his newspaper again. 00:58:00.310 --> 00:58:02.740 align:middle line:90% Gretch, was her name Gretchen? 00:58:02.740 --> 00:58:05.620 align:middle line:84% Appeared through the archway of the dining room, 00:58:05.620 --> 00:58:07.690 align:middle line:84% looking not at all like Bell Whatling, 00:58:07.690 --> 00:58:10.810 align:middle line:84% who was Jerry's idea of what a Madam should look like. 00:58:10.810 --> 00:58:13.300 align:middle line:84% Nothing look right to Jerry, if this 00:58:13.300 --> 00:58:17.260 align:middle line:84% was a whorehouse where were the mirrors and chandeliers? 00:58:17.260 --> 00:58:19.780 align:middle line:84% For that matter where were the girls? 00:58:19.780 --> 00:58:21.100 align:middle line:90% OK boys, Gretch said. 00:58:21.100 --> 00:58:22.270 align:middle line:90% Is Marge here? 00:58:22.270 --> 00:58:23.260 align:middle line:90% Walker asked. 00:58:23.260 --> 00:58:26.890 align:middle line:84% Show us her, Gretch, she turned to Jerry, that'll be $10. 00:58:26.890 --> 00:58:29.050 align:middle line:90% For what he wondered paying her? 00:58:29.050 --> 00:58:31.210 align:middle line:84% He hadn't even seen a girl yet, all 00:58:31.210 --> 00:58:34.240 align:middle line:84% he'd seen were some bare brawls, some ratty furniture, 00:58:34.240 --> 00:58:36.790 align:middle line:84% some unshielded overhead light bulbs, Mr. 00:58:36.790 --> 00:58:39.790 align:middle line:84% Silent with his newspaper and Gretch herself 00:58:39.790 --> 00:58:42.160 align:middle line:84% looking as lovable as an egg beater 00:58:42.160 --> 00:58:44.627 align:middle line:90% with those curlers in her hair. 00:58:44.627 --> 00:58:46.960 align:middle line:84% When they had both paid her she took them upstairs where 00:58:46.960 --> 00:58:49.720 align:middle line:84% the girls were, maybe it would be better upstairs Jerry 00:58:49.720 --> 00:58:52.690 align:middle line:84% thought following in her wake, it wasn't. 00:58:52.690 --> 00:58:54.370 align:middle line:84% But upstairs things began to happen 00:58:54.370 --> 00:58:57.130 align:middle line:84% so rapidly that he didn't have time to look around. 00:58:57.130 --> 00:58:58.720 align:middle line:84% Hey, you said Marge was here, Walker 00:58:58.720 --> 00:59:02.050 align:middle line:84% said as a girl with a very pointed chin took his hand 00:59:02.050 --> 00:59:03.970 align:middle line:84% and started leaning into one of the bedrooms. 00:59:03.970 --> 00:59:05.890 align:middle line:90% That's Marge, Gretch said. 00:59:05.890 --> 00:59:08.152 align:middle line:84% She handed Jerry over to a girl named Elaine, 00:59:08.152 --> 00:59:10.360 align:middle line:84% who was at least better looking than Marge though she 00:59:10.360 --> 00:59:11.950 align:middle line:90% was no cat-woman. 00:59:11.950 --> 00:59:13.960 align:middle line:84% As Jerry followed Elaine into her bedroom 00:59:13.960 --> 00:59:16.990 align:middle line:84% he heard Walker saying, wait a minute this isn't Marge then 00:59:16.990 --> 00:59:19.430 align:middle line:90% he was alone with Elaine. 00:59:19.430 --> 00:59:20.780 align:middle line:90% Hello, he said. 00:59:20.780 --> 00:59:24.710 align:middle line:84% Hi, she gave him a smile and started to take off her dress. 00:59:24.710 --> 00:59:27.890 align:middle line:84% Jerry watched her, wondering if he should undress, 00:59:27.890 --> 00:59:30.655 align:middle line:84% he supposed so began to unbutton his shirt. 00:59:30.655 --> 00:59:32.780 align:middle line:84% It seemed to him Elaine ought to be talking to him, 00:59:32.780 --> 00:59:36.260 align:middle line:84% or cuddling with him, or kissing him, 00:59:36.260 --> 00:59:37.993 align:middle line:84% but aside from the touch of her hand 00:59:37.993 --> 00:59:39.410 align:middle line:84% when she had let him into the room 00:59:39.410 --> 00:59:42.933 align:middle line:84% they've been no contact between them at all. 00:59:42.933 --> 00:59:44.600 align:middle line:84% He thought she had nice breasts, but she 00:59:44.600 --> 00:59:47.600 align:middle line:84% didn't seem to be inviting him to fondle them or kiss her. 00:59:47.600 --> 00:59:49.040 align:middle line:84% It was a lot less exciting than he 00:59:49.040 --> 00:59:51.380 align:middle line:84% had thought it was going to be if she were in a bathing 00:59:51.380 --> 00:59:53.130 align:middle line:84% suit on the beach and someone had told him 00:59:53.130 --> 00:59:56.090 align:middle line:84% she were a prostitute, he would have felt much more excited 00:59:56.090 --> 00:59:58.220 align:middle line:84% than he felt looking at her sitting naked 00:59:58.220 --> 01:00:00.560 align:middle line:90% on the edge of her bed. 01:00:00.560 --> 01:00:02.480 align:middle line:90% You're pretty young, she said. 01:00:02.480 --> 01:00:04.220 align:middle line:90% I'm 17, Jerry said. 01:00:04.220 --> 01:00:06.890 align:middle line:84% He prepared that fib in advance to have said 18 01:00:06.890 --> 01:00:09.575 align:middle line:84% would have been a lie, but he would be 17 in October 01:00:09.575 --> 01:00:11.450 align:middle line:84% so he's only claiming about three more months 01:00:11.450 --> 01:00:12.867 align:middle line:84% than he actually had, which didn't 01:00:12.867 --> 01:00:15.320 align:middle line:90% seem like a serious falsehood. 01:00:15.320 --> 01:00:16.010 align:middle line:90% How old are you? 01:00:16.010 --> 01:00:16.850 align:middle line:90% He asked. 01:00:16.850 --> 01:00:18.350 align:middle line:90% 20, said Elaine. 01:00:18.350 --> 01:00:20.390 align:middle line:84% She looked older, but Jerry guessed 01:00:20.390 --> 01:00:24.110 align:middle line:84% the life she was leading had an aging effect on her 01:00:24.110 --> 01:00:26.228 align:middle line:90% or she could be lying. 01:00:26.228 --> 01:00:27.770 align:middle line:84% It didn't make much difference though 01:00:27.770 --> 01:00:29.270 align:middle line:84% and he was so glad they were talking 01:00:29.270 --> 01:00:30.470 align:middle line:90% that he stopped undressing. 01:00:30.470 --> 01:00:31.190 align:middle line:90% Do you live here? 01:00:31.190 --> 01:00:31.970 align:middle line:90% He asked. 01:00:31.970 --> 01:00:32.510 align:middle line:90% Here? 01:00:32.510 --> 01:00:35.540 align:middle line:84% Said Elaine looking around the room they were in, 01:00:35.540 --> 01:00:37.220 align:middle line:90% that was reassuring. 01:00:37.220 --> 01:00:39.440 align:middle line:84% She could evidently see it as a miserable room that 01:00:39.440 --> 01:00:42.983 align:middle line:84% needed paint and new furniture, even the bed she was sitting on 01:00:42.983 --> 01:00:45.650 align:middle line:84% was terrible though you'd expect at least the beds in this house 01:00:45.650 --> 01:00:47.510 align:middle line:90% to be good bed. 01:00:47.510 --> 01:00:48.260 align:middle line:90% Where do you live? 01:00:48.260 --> 01:00:49.800 align:middle line:90% Jerry asked. 01:00:49.800 --> 01:00:52.340 align:middle line:90% At home, she said, come on. 01:00:52.340 --> 01:00:55.640 align:middle line:90% Jerry finished undressing. 01:00:55.640 --> 01:00:59.150 align:middle line:84% What followed was partly, but only partly satisfactory. 01:00:59.150 --> 01:01:01.250 align:middle line:84% He got the impression that Elaine was not 01:01:01.250 --> 01:01:03.650 align:middle line:84% entirely with him, that some part of her 01:01:03.650 --> 01:01:07.010 align:middle line:84% was wandering around looking into store windows, that 01:01:07.010 --> 01:01:09.230 align:middle line:90% was unsatisfactory. 01:01:09.230 --> 01:01:11.870 align:middle line:84% And in some respects Jerry had felt more voluptuous 01:01:11.870 --> 01:01:14.780 align:middle line:84% just holding Rosalind ankle than he felt 01:01:14.780 --> 01:01:16.580 align:middle line:90% lying on top of the Elaine. 01:01:16.580 --> 01:01:18.560 align:middle line:84% It was not-- he felt, a particularly 01:01:18.560 --> 01:01:22.730 align:middle line:84% voluptuous experience, which was unsatisfactory also 01:01:22.730 --> 01:01:25.880 align:middle line:84% yet on the other hand, he felt his own performance was 01:01:25.880 --> 01:01:28.590 align:middle line:84% a reasonably creditable one given the fact, 01:01:28.590 --> 01:01:30.600 align:middle line:90% he had never done this before. 01:01:30.600 --> 01:01:32.630 align:middle line:90% That was very satisfactory. 01:01:32.630 --> 01:01:35.370 align:middle line:84% It was so satisfactory that when all was said and done, 01:01:35.370 --> 01:01:38.300 align:middle line:84% he was dressing again he felt happy enough about things 01:01:38.300 --> 01:01:41.300 align:middle line:84% to ask Elaine if she ever met guys anywhere else. 01:01:41.300 --> 01:01:43.130 align:middle line:84% He really didn't like this house, 01:01:43.130 --> 01:01:44.925 align:middle line:84% there was a stale Swedish smell in the air, 01:01:44.925 --> 01:01:46.550 align:middle line:84% but if they were to meet somewhere else 01:01:46.550 --> 01:01:49.790 align:middle line:84% he felt they might have a more intimate and friendlier time 01:01:49.790 --> 01:01:50.570 align:middle line:90% together. 01:01:50.570 --> 01:01:53.120 align:middle line:84% Elaine, seemed like a pretty nice girl or woman 01:01:53.120 --> 01:01:55.760 align:middle line:84% if he could date her, and do something with her beforehand 01:01:55.760 --> 01:01:57.590 align:middle line:84% and then go to a nicer place than this, 01:01:57.590 --> 01:02:00.410 align:middle line:84% he could imagine having a very good time with her. 01:02:00.410 --> 01:02:03.420 align:middle line:84% Elaine said, you could see me here whenever you want. 01:02:03.420 --> 01:02:05.420 align:middle line:84% But what about going to the movies or something? 01:02:05.420 --> 01:02:07.790 align:middle line:84% Jerry asked, then we could go to your house. 01:02:07.790 --> 01:02:09.260 align:middle line:90% You crazy? 01:02:09.260 --> 01:02:11.940 align:middle line:84% My dad would kill me if I brought guys home. 01:02:11.940 --> 01:02:14.160 align:middle line:84% Oh, so Jerry you don't know much, do you? 01:02:14.160 --> 01:02:15.238 align:middle line:90% She said. 01:02:15.238 --> 01:02:17.030 align:middle line:84% Well, don't you ever go out with boys ever? 01:02:17.030 --> 01:02:18.353 align:middle line:90% Jerry asked. 01:02:18.353 --> 01:02:19.520 align:middle line:90% How do you think I got here? 01:02:19.520 --> 01:02:20.870 align:middle line:90% Elaine said. 01:02:20.870 --> 01:02:23.690 align:middle line:84% Well, but now, said Jerry, don't you ever see boys now? 01:02:23.690 --> 01:02:26.120 align:middle line:90% All the time, said Elaine. 01:02:26.120 --> 01:02:27.920 align:middle line:84% She didn't seem to get the point, 01:02:27.920 --> 01:02:29.870 align:middle line:84% probably she wasn't used to customers trying 01:02:29.870 --> 01:02:30.963 align:middle line:90% to take her out on dates. 01:02:30.963 --> 01:02:33.380 align:middle line:84% You come back, she said, I'll give you a really good time, 01:02:33.380 --> 01:02:35.840 align:middle line:84% she purse your lips at him then at the door 01:02:35.840 --> 01:02:38.660 align:middle line:84% she addressed herself she seemed to be almost friendly. 01:02:38.660 --> 01:02:40.790 align:middle line:90% So long Jeff, she said-- 01:02:40.790 --> 01:02:44.600 align:middle line:84% Jerry had told her his name was Jeffrey Elmendorf, at least 01:02:44.600 --> 01:02:46.850 align:middle line:84% he had stuck to his own initials. 01:02:46.850 --> 01:02:48.650 align:middle line:84% On the drive home Walker complained 01:02:48.650 --> 01:02:51.260 align:middle line:84% about Gretchen's attempt to palm off that dog run 01:02:51.260 --> 01:02:52.910 align:middle line:90% on him in place in Marge. 01:02:52.910 --> 01:02:55.940 align:middle line:84% He finally had a real bombshell, he told Jerry, how was yours? 01:02:55.940 --> 01:02:56.870 align:middle line:90% He asked. 01:02:56.870 --> 01:03:00.230 align:middle line:84% Jerry shook his head, I don't know, he answered. 01:03:00.230 --> 01:03:02.270 align:middle line:84% I don't think she's a really good prostitute, 01:03:02.270 --> 01:03:04.370 align:middle line:90% she lives with her family. 01:03:04.370 --> 01:03:07.760 align:middle line:84% But a lot to think over, manhood thought great of course, 01:03:07.760 --> 01:03:11.975 align:middle line:84% wasn't quite as great as he had thought it would be. 01:03:11.975 --> 01:03:14.945 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 01:03:14.945 --> 01:03:28.830 align:middle line:90% 01:03:28.830 --> 01:03:31.050 align:middle line:84% Thank you very much, nice audience. 01:03:31.050 --> 01:03:34.230 align:middle line:90% 01:03:34.230 --> 01:03:36.120 align:middle line:84% I'd be glad to answer questions I gather, 01:03:36.120 --> 01:03:37.170 align:middle line:90% we do that at the lounge? 01:03:37.170 --> 01:03:37.695 align:middle line:90% Yes, if they're available. 01:03:37.695 --> 01:03:39.860 align:middle line:84% There's comments, this is a work in progress 01:03:39.860 --> 01:03:46.420 align:middle line:84% and if you want to tell me where to go I think-- 01:03:46.420 --> 01:03:47.670 align:middle line:90% Know where you want to change. 01:03:47.670 --> 01:03:48.170 align:middle line:90% Yes. 01:03:48.170 --> 01:03:51.340 align:middle line:90% 01:03:51.340 --> 01:03:53.180 align:middle line:90% Oh, go there. 01:03:53.180 --> 01:03:55.250 align:middle line:90% You like it? 01:03:55.250 --> 01:04:05.382 align:middle line:90%