WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.110 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.110 --> 00:00:02.580 align:middle line:90% Thank you, Alison. 00:00:02.580 --> 00:00:05.980 align:middle line:84% And thanks to all of you for coming. 00:00:05.980 --> 00:00:07.920 align:middle line:84% I'm going to read two stories this evening. 00:00:07.920 --> 00:00:12.280 align:middle line:90% 00:00:12.280 --> 00:00:14.700 align:middle line:84% The first one is called "The Creative Fellow". 00:00:14.700 --> 00:00:20.250 align:middle line:90% 00:00:20.250 --> 00:00:24.510 align:middle line:84% "I'm Bud Bach, a top historical regionalist. 00:00:24.510 --> 00:00:29.250 align:middle line:84% In my bio, I call myself a Phoenix-based artist, 00:00:29.250 --> 00:00:31.650 align:middle line:90% but based is putting it mildly. 00:00:31.650 --> 00:00:34.390 align:middle line:84% I haven't left the city in years. 00:00:34.390 --> 00:00:36.510 align:middle line:90% I've come to dread travel. 00:00:36.510 --> 00:00:40.350 align:middle line:84% And now, humming down Interstate 10, 00:00:40.350 --> 00:00:44.040 align:middle line:84% I feel folded up in fear, wrapped 00:00:44.040 --> 00:00:48.330 align:middle line:84% like a leftover hotdog, an expression I can't get out 00:00:48.330 --> 00:00:49.680 align:middle line:90% of my head. 00:00:49.680 --> 00:00:52.560 align:middle line:84% It's what Quentin Richter, the very young art 00:00:52.560 --> 00:00:57.180 align:middle line:84% critic of the Arizona Republic called me last year. 00:00:57.180 --> 00:01:01.110 align:middle line:84% Tucson is only 100 miles, and I'm trying to stay calm. 00:01:01.110 --> 00:01:06.030 align:middle line:84% Even in my cool Buick, the passing desert dries my throat. 00:01:06.030 --> 00:01:11.010 align:middle line:84% I have to get down there to identify my brother's body, 00:01:11.010 --> 00:01:17.280 align:middle line:84% and I need to find out exactly how Billy died. 00:01:17.280 --> 00:01:20.370 align:middle line:84% I squeeze above Harper's knee, and his muscles 00:01:20.370 --> 00:01:22.650 align:middle line:90% jump, filling my hand. 00:01:22.650 --> 00:01:24.900 align:middle line:84% He won't be going with me to the morgue-- 00:01:24.900 --> 00:01:26.970 align:middle line:90% I'm too ashamed of Billy. 00:01:26.970 --> 00:01:31.080 align:middle line:84% Just having Harper here, curled in the passenger seat, 00:01:31.080 --> 00:01:32.130 align:middle line:90% is a comfort. 00:01:32.130 --> 00:01:36.660 align:middle line:84% More than I deserve, because I'm going to ask him to move out, 00:01:36.660 --> 00:01:39.240 align:middle line:90% and he doesn't know it yet. 00:01:39.240 --> 00:01:42.420 align:middle line:84% He's brought me to a point at which I don't have any choice. 00:01:42.420 --> 00:01:46.050 align:middle line:84% His expenses are sucking my mutual funds dry, 00:01:46.050 --> 00:01:48.360 align:middle line:84% and I just had to refinance my house. 00:01:48.360 --> 00:01:51.660 align:middle line:84% Suppose I couldn't pay the mortgage anymore. 00:01:51.660 --> 00:01:54.750 align:middle line:84% But when I think about evicting Harper, 00:01:54.750 --> 00:01:57.930 align:middle line:84% I think of how I treated my brother. 00:01:57.930 --> 00:02:00.930 align:middle line:84% I've been remembering a night when I was young 00:02:00.930 --> 00:02:03.180 align:middle line:90% and we shared a bed. 00:02:03.180 --> 00:02:08.340 align:middle line:84% I lay awake, while Billy, huge and warm, squirming 00:02:08.340 --> 00:02:12.930 align:middle line:84% with puberty, emanating a perfume of perspiration, 00:02:12.930 --> 00:02:15.330 align:middle line:90% slept beside me. 00:02:15.330 --> 00:02:19.980 align:middle line:84% The memory's ragged with turpentine, rubbed to a puddle, 00:02:19.980 --> 00:02:22.350 align:middle line:84% but I can remember looking at him 00:02:22.350 --> 00:02:25.710 align:middle line:84% and figuring out the life he'd have 00:02:25.710 --> 00:02:28.410 align:middle line:90% and knowing I wouldn't save him. 00:02:28.410 --> 00:02:32.520 align:middle line:90% I wasn't even going to try. 00:02:32.520 --> 00:02:37.350 align:middle line:84% He used to have a groundskeeping business, but it went belly up. 00:02:37.350 --> 00:02:41.220 align:middle line:84% At least it's long gone from the Tucson phone book. 00:02:41.220 --> 00:02:45.180 align:middle line:90% And since, I never asked him. 00:02:45.180 --> 00:02:48.480 align:middle line:84% Hoeing and pruning for someone else? 00:02:48.480 --> 00:02:52.440 align:middle line:84% It's hard to imagine Billy holding any job at all. 00:02:52.440 --> 00:02:56.640 align:middle line:84% He had a sour streak, a solitary one too. 00:02:56.640 --> 00:03:00.480 align:middle line:84% Still, I always like to daydream of his finding 00:03:00.480 --> 00:03:03.000 align:middle line:90% some home in the world. 00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:07.170 align:middle line:84% Working as a fire lookout, that was easiest to picture. 00:03:07.170 --> 00:03:10.560 align:middle line:90% Billy, alone atop a mountain. 00:03:10.560 --> 00:03:14.340 align:middle line:84% Billy, snug in a moon-drenched cabin. 00:03:14.340 --> 00:03:16.920 align:middle line:84% Billy, peering through binoculars 00:03:16.920 --> 00:03:18.780 align:middle line:90% at miles of restful green. 00:03:18.780 --> 00:03:21.420 align:middle line:90% 00:03:21.420 --> 00:03:24.910 align:middle line:84% I knew the contrast would be painful, maybe fatal, 00:03:24.910 --> 00:03:27.870 align:middle line:84% so I never discussed my own career with him. 00:03:27.870 --> 00:03:30.450 align:middle line:84% I imagined him turning purple if I 00:03:30.450 --> 00:03:34.200 align:middle line:84% were to mention how the Kuwaiti royal family used 00:03:34.200 --> 00:03:38.580 align:middle line:84% to love my desert scenes or which consultant once 00:03:38.580 --> 00:03:42.120 align:middle line:84% chose my work to hang on the walls of how 00:03:42.120 --> 00:03:45.660 align:middle line:90% many branches of what bank. 00:03:45.660 --> 00:03:50.100 align:middle line:84% Twit critics will write whatever cruel things they want. 00:03:50.100 --> 00:03:54.690 align:middle line:84% Quentin Richter called me the Botticelli of buffalo. 00:03:54.690 --> 00:03:57.030 align:middle line:84% But I'm proud to my backbone of being 00:03:57.030 --> 00:04:01.110 align:middle line:84% a top historical regionalist, and the market for my work 00:04:01.110 --> 00:04:03.270 align:middle line:90% will still be there. 00:04:03.270 --> 00:04:06.000 align:middle line:84% Galleries in Sedona and Scottsdale, 00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:09.150 align:middle line:84% in Santa Fe and Salt Lake, used to line up 00:04:09.150 --> 00:04:10.770 align:middle line:90% begging for my pieces. 00:04:10.770 --> 00:04:14.610 align:middle line:84% Believe me, I know I'm not Picasso. 00:04:14.610 --> 00:04:20.700 align:middle line:84% But if somebody wants a 4x6 of a buffalo brought down by wolves, 00:04:20.700 --> 00:04:22.950 align:middle line:84% or needs a chief in a war bonnet to go 00:04:22.950 --> 00:04:26.160 align:middle line:84% at the top of a staircase, nobody else 00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:28.830 align:middle line:90% can do work like mine. 00:04:28.830 --> 00:04:32.640 align:middle line:90% And thousands of people try. 00:04:32.640 --> 00:04:36.030 align:middle line:90% And yes, it does torment me. 00:04:36.030 --> 00:04:39.420 align:middle line:84% I'm old enough to admit it, that no one, critics, 00:04:39.420 --> 00:04:45.090 align:middle line:84% or dealers, or public, ever knew how good I truly was. 00:04:45.090 --> 00:04:47.190 align:middle line:84% I'm not painting as much anymore-- 00:04:47.190 --> 00:04:49.620 align:middle line:84% ideas don't come the way they used to-- 00:04:49.620 --> 00:04:52.260 align:middle line:84% but I'm still in another class from the hacks 00:04:52.260 --> 00:04:54.270 align:middle line:90% you see in galleries today. 00:04:54.270 --> 00:04:54.810 align:middle line:90% Vision? 00:04:54.810 --> 00:04:55.740 align:middle line:90% Forget it. 00:04:55.740 --> 00:04:57.240 align:middle line:90% Draftsmanship? 00:04:57.240 --> 00:04:59.550 align:middle line:84% Some never even touch a brush, just 00:04:59.550 --> 00:05:04.200 align:middle line:84% knife it on like peanut butter, in thick, aggressive smears. 00:05:04.200 --> 00:05:09.150 align:middle line:84% Step back and view this, the dealers are always saying. 00:05:09.150 --> 00:05:12.240 align:middle line:84% But you don't step back from a Bud Bach. 00:05:12.240 --> 00:05:16.890 align:middle line:84% You only want to come closer, all the way in, 00:05:16.890 --> 00:05:20.380 align:middle line:84% until you can hear the campfire's snap 00:05:20.380 --> 00:05:24.120 align:middle line:84% and smell the freshly flayed hides." 00:05:24.120 --> 00:05:25.000 align:middle line:90%