WEBVTT

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"Dear Linda.

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I found Joel. I was beginning to
think you didn't have a cousin.

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Pandullo found him working
on the frozen generators

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behind our tent.

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It rains hard at night and
icicles freeze on the power

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lines and watchtowers.

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Pandullo and me
throw rocks at them,

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knocking the big ones down
and busting the layer of ice

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on top of the sand.

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The ground looks like broken
glass when we're done.

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I started reading
Che's diary again.

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I work nights.

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And afterward wait outside
the comm-tent to call home.

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Most of the time I
can't get through.

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But that's OK.

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My familia has things to
worry about besides me.

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So I watched the sun
rise over the burms

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and listen in on
phone calls home.

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Country fights with
his old lady, non-stop.

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And Pandullo does
a lot of baby talk.

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I lose track of the
days, each one passing

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like the same brain-dead
movie they show

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over and over at the rec tent.

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Your cousin, by the
way, is an AGE troop.

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I asked him for your address to
make sure I have the right one.

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But he didn't know it.

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He told me he went to
school in New Mexico.

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And I felt better
knowing you didn't lie.

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But he said to
watch out for you,

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that you think you're all
good, and wouldn't write back

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no matter how many
pages I sent to you.

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I wanted to fuck him
up for saying that.

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Che wrote that during
his trip to South America

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he wanted to help all
the poor people he met.

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Maybe that's why I'm here.

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I could be as good as that dude.

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I told Joel how you'd
wanted me at that bookstore.

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I could tell.

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Joel called you a snob.

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I don't know why you
want me to keep a lookout

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on a guy like Joel, but I will.

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Please write soon, Tomás.

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Linda.

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I talked to Ma on the phone.

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She's not doing too good.

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Tata is still in a coma.

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And now she sees the ghosts.

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They hang out in the backyard
and around the porch and wait

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for a train that never arrives.

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Pancho Villa is with them.

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And he's stolen all the corn
from the house, all the cans

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and frozen bags,
even the tortillas.

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He screamed at her, told her
the soldiers wouldn't make it

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past winter without supplies.

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Ma made me promise to read my
Bible and pray hard for things

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to get right.

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I went to the chapel
tent after we talked.

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I found the base chaplain.

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And it turned out he
had bibles to give away.

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And I took two small ones.

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I keep one under my pillow
and the other in my pocket.

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That way I can finish
reading the whole thing.

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I've started praying to
San Judas and Santo Niño.

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But I don't know
if praying works.

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It feels a lot like wishing,
which I know doesn't.

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I sometimes close
my eyes and try

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to remember what you look like.

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Country thinks I'm
sleeping on the job.

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I remember your face, your
wide nose, and chubby earlobes,

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your black hair.

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I don't know why I do this.

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Why you stick in my head so bad.

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I know I'm making
too much of you.

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But something forces me.

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Like if I don't, I won't
remember who I was or am

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when this is over.

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Ma told me Pops spends his
day at the hospital crying

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for Tata.

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I've never seen him even
sad, only pissed off.

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I don't know who else to tell.

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I don't want people to think
I'm losing it or going soft.

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Your cousin has been
avoiding me around camp.

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Now that I know him,
I see him everywhere:

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the Chow tent, the PO
tent, the laundry trailer.

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Have you told him something
fucked up about me?

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I want to go home.

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Tomás.

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Dear Tomás.

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Please do not write me again.

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You sound like a crazy person.

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And have the wrong
idea about us.

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And your letters, the
third one especially,

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were completely inappropriate.

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We had a nice talk at the
bookstore, but that is all.

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You seemed interested in Che.

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And I thought you could use
some background information

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before you wasted your
money on something

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you would not understand.

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I regret giving you my address.

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I felt sorry for you.

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You should forget about me and
reconsider things with Ana.

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The way you describe her,
she sounds perfect for you.

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Also what you and your friends
are doing over there is wrong.

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If I had known what
you did specifically,

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I would not have spoken
with you in the first place.

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At least my cousin
only fixes heaters.

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You need to wake up.

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What you're doing there is
nothing like what Che did.

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He gave up all he had
to protect the poor,

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all of his family's wealth.

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What have you given up?

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Who are you protecting?

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Linda.

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Dear, Linda Guzmán.

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You lied in your letter.

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I can tell when a girl
is into me, and you were.

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You talked about
revolutions and corporations

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and then waited to see
if I was impressed.

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We had a dance going.

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And I let you lead.

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You can put whatever you
want in your letters,

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but I know what I know.

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Che was a soldier, fighting
and killing, everything

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that could happen here.

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If my parents had
had money, who knows?

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I could have been
smart like him,

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had the chance to act brave and
abandon everything for a cause,

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instead of hoping to
make my own life better.

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Still, I understand what Che
writes and what he means.

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'The stars drew light
across the night sky

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in that little mountain village.

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And the silence and the cold
make the darkness vanish away.

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It was as if everything solid
melted away into the ether,

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eliminating all individuality
and absorbing us rigid

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into the immense darkness.'

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After reading so much
of these words, words

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I can't put together myself.

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I know this is the kind
of vato you go for,

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even when you want one like me.

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We've been flying the
shit out of our planes.

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Country thinks the war
could kick up any day.

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He's still fighting
with his wife.

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She's missed some bills and his
kid got expelled from school.

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She wants a divorce.

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I almost feel sorry for him.

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Pandullo can't get
a hold of his wife.

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He thinks she moved back to
New Jersey with her parents,

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cleaned out their house,
and turned off the phone,

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took the kid.

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He cries at night.

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I've tried the Bible
but the words are hard.

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I feel stupid and I can't get
a hold of anyone back home.

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Tomás."

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