WEBVTT

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[APPLAUSE]

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Thanks, Manuel, for that
lovely introduction.

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And I think I'm only
taller than Manuel.

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The other stuff I think
is a little far-fetched.

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And of course I am indebted to
Alison and Buzz and Aurelie.

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Is it too low?

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I'm slightly taller than.

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Establish this side.

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Is that better?

00:00:31.500 --> 00:00:33.390 align:middle line:90%
OK.

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So as Manuel said, I'm super
indebted to the U of A,

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the U of A community,
and especially Alison

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and Aurelie and Buzz, who
[AUDIO OUT] thesis advisor

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[AUDIO OUT] kind of helped
[AUDIO OUT] through the MFA

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[AUDIO OUT] wouldn't
be twitching hard.

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So thank you, Buzz,
and it's an honor

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to be reading with you tonight.

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So without further ado, the
story is called "Airman."

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Dear Linda, I thought
about you on the flight.

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The plane shook like crazy,
making Pandullo puke himself.

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I remembered you telling me how
your baby brother always got

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sick and smelled up the car
on summer trips to California.

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I imagined you rolling
down the window

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and sticking your
head out for air.

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I pressed my head against
the airplane window

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and watched the ocean.

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That was as close as
I'd ever been to it.

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Maybe one day, you can
take me to the beach

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if we ever see each other again.

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We landed in the
middle of the night.

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The whole camp is razor
wire and watchtowers.

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We got briefed.

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No going off base.

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No booze.

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No phone calls home
for at least a month.

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You should send me
your phone number.

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They set us up in tent city, a
group of flaps lined in rows.

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We each got a cot, a pillow,
and a blanket, then an A bag,

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a C bag, and a flak vest.

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I watched the older guys
and did what they did.

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Unpacked my duffel and marked
the back of my Kevlar helmet

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with masking tape.

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No one expects to
need the cam gear.

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They say the enemy has
nerve gas and blood

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agent, and who knows what else?

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I checked my mask
over just in case.

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I slipped pictures into the
Velcro seals above my cot.

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There's one with my
mom and pop standing

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next to each other and my
cousin Lana's quinceañera.

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Those two don't smile for shit.

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There's another with Beto
and Manny, my older brothers,

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all drunk before the
night I left boot camp.

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Those two have the
opposite problem.

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I hung one with me and Ana.

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I put it up because everyone
had more pictures than I did,

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and I didn't want them knowing I
have no one waiting for me back

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home.

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If I had your picture, I'd
put it up and take hers down

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like nothing.

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Pandullo felt better
after landing.

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He's 19 like me,
except he's already

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hooked up with a wife and kid.

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Pretty nuts, right?

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He's my three man.

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We talked about Country, our
ate up loading crew chief.

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On the plane, Country had told
Pandullo to keep an eye on me,

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make sure I didn't crack up.

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He doesn't like Mexicans.

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Do you get that from
people in college?

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Country didn't want me on his
crew when I first got to base.

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But I showed that
motherfucker what

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was up in the load barn, loading
GBU tens, 12s, 27s, and 87s

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real quick.

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I've won Load Animal
three times already.

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Being a two man is about hustle.

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I walk bombs from the trailer,
line them up to the rack

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and sway them down.

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I do this faster than anyone.

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I check out seeker-heads,
fuse, and wire, and cart.

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I've always been good at
turning wrenches, always.

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I bought The Motorcycle Diaries
by Ernesto "Che" Guevara,

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the same one you were reading,
the one with the coffee

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ring on the back cover.

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I hope you don't
mind me writing this,

00:04:17.870 --> 00:04:21.200 align:middle line:84%
but you were looking
good at that bookstore.

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If I had known girls as
fine as you were inside,

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I'd have gone in sooner.

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I only went because
I promised my Ma

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I'd buy a Bible before I left.

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Maybe us meeting is fate, you
only in town to see your cousin

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and me deploying with him.

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I didn't even get the Bible.

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Can you believe that?

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I'll keep an eye out for your
primo, Joel Guzmán, right?

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I'm getting tired.

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The cot is rough.

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Scratchy green cloth on
wobbly aluminum legs.

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I'm not sure when I'll get
the chance to write again.

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No one knows what
our schedule will be,

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or when or if the
war will start.

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Country said nothing
is going to happen,

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all this just a
waste of damn time.

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I hope he's right.

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Sincerely, Tomás.

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Dear Linda, I'm not sure
how long the mail is taking

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and I hope I got
your address right.

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My folks already
sent me a letter.

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I've read it twice.

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I know I'll probably read
it again after writing this.

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They're not doing too good.

00:05:30.590 --> 00:05:33.200 align:middle line:90%
My Tata had a stroke.

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I'm not sure what
that is, exactly.

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But they found him passed out
on the porch, a rosario balled

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in his hands.

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He's in a coma.

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Pops wrote that he started
acting funny, roaming

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around the house and
talking about ghosts.

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Said their faces were gray
and peeling, like burnt paper.

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Ma told me to pray to San
Judas and sleep with a Bible

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under my pillow, like
somehow that will help.

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Still, I feel not
bad for getting one.

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You had my head
wrapped up that day.

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Have you started back at school?

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Maybe one day you could write
a story about me, your friend,

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Tomás in the Air Force.

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You would get an A for
that one, for sure.

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I haven't found your cousin.

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He's not a flight line guy.

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I checked.

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No one seems to
know Joel Guzmán.

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Where does he work?

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Does he have a nickname?

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Country's real name is
Barry and we sometimes

00:06:30.800 --> 00:06:33.890 align:middle line:90%
call Pandullo Pandy-ass.

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He doesn't like it.

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I'll keep a lookout
for your primo.

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So far, all we've done
is unpack our tool boxes

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and wipe down jets.

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We toured the bomb dump.

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I've never seen
so many munitions.

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The bombs were stacked,
one on top of the other,

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and could take up
a football field.

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I can't imagine having
to load all of these.

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I watch the news
every day, I bet

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you know all about
this political shit.

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I've never really paid
attention to all that.

00:07:07.910 --> 00:07:09.950 align:middle line:84%
To keep talking about
weapons, and war,

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and show groups of
pissed off Hajjis.

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People are getting spooked.

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The Hajjis that work on base
don't look us in the eye,

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and Country says it's because
they know what's coming.

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Some of them work
in the chow tent,

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and I've had to guard them, make
sure they don't poison the food

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or put a bomb somewhere.

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I remember you called
TV a propaganda machine

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and I'd wondered
what you'd meant.

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You have perfect teeth.

00:07:41.570 --> 00:07:43.220 align:middle line:84%
You're not like
the girls I know,

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only caring about landing
a man and being worry free.

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After high school,
all Ana wanted

00:07:49.610 --> 00:07:52.400 align:middle line:84%
was to get married,
move to an apartment

00:07:52.400 --> 00:07:56.540 align:middle line:84%
and put up curtains while I
work construction with pops.

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Ana was like that because
I took her cherry,

00:07:59.150 --> 00:08:02.570 align:middle line:84%
but also because she really
wanted to be someone's wife,

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and of course, a mother.

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I could tell she didn't
love me all like she said,

00:08:08.240 --> 00:08:10.490 align:middle line:84%
and her eyes got big and
stupid when I told her

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I was leaving for the Air Force
with no plans of taking her

00:08:13.490 --> 00:08:15.830 align:middle line:90%
along.

00:08:15.830 --> 00:08:19.230 align:middle line:84%
I didn't want to stay
in El Paso forever.

00:08:19.230 --> 00:08:22.100 align:middle line:84%
And I don't want a woman
who wants a family more

00:08:22.100 --> 00:08:25.100 align:middle line:90%
than she wants me.

00:08:25.100 --> 00:08:28.380 align:middle line:84%
Have you ever been
with a vato like me?

00:08:28.380 --> 00:08:32.190 align:middle line:84%
What would your college buddies
think if they saw us together?

00:08:32.190 --> 00:08:34.190 align:middle line:84%
They'd probably wonder
why you were killing time

00:08:34.190 --> 00:08:37.679 align:middle line:90%
with a cholo or a grease monkey.

00:08:37.679 --> 00:08:40.429 align:middle line:84%
Tata once told me, if
you want to be a man,

00:08:40.429 --> 00:08:43.159 align:middle line:84%
you got to get things
done on your own.

00:08:43.159 --> 00:08:45.170 align:middle line:90%
That's what Che did.

00:08:45.170 --> 00:08:48.580 align:middle line:90%
That's what I'm doing, Tomás.

00:08:48.580 --> 00:08:50.000 align:middle line:90%