WEBVTT

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"Christmas Day."

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"We decided to say
it was Christmas day.

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Living for so long shut
in by the deep snow,

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it was impossible for people
to keep track of the date.

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How were we to know?

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But we could estimate
we were drawing

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near to the end of
December, and we wanted

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to celebrate the holiday.

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On the morning that
we chose, daybreak

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brought us a sky full of flakes,
a snow that clings to clothes

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and makes its own way
into the smallest holes

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and seals light out of the hut.

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Eliza, lying in her
quilt with her eyes alert

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for anything moving on the
floor of the hut, quick-handed,

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caught four mice in the morning.

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We cut off the tails
and heads and tugged

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hard to pull out
the tangled entrails

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from inside the trunks,
which we cooked up at once.

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There was enough for each
person to squat on the floor

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and eat several small
strips of this flesh

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while it was still hot.

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We were very careful
to save some meat.

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And when it grew late
in the dim afternoon,

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we sat down again
for a second meal.

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Finally, all our food was gone.

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And then what I did I might
explain if I admit my mind

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was sometimes unsound.

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The pain from the
wound in my hand

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had spread like a slow
flame all the way up my arm,

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and it clouded my brain.

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When my head was light,
it was a chore for me

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to walk out very far or even
try to talk clearly anymore.

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But when I saw
our food was gone,

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I stood up and bowed my head.

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I said, I feel, in spite of
the grief which we share here,

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on this, the most
hopeful day in the year,

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we should say a prayer.

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Then I prayed, dear
Christ, we have seen

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the worst weather on Earth.

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Still, we live by hand to mouth.

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And today, we want simply
to enjoy and celebrate

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the day of your birth.

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We made our mistakes,
suffered for our greed,

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and paid for our pride.

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There's no more need to torment
people for ignorance or guilt.

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We have done all that we can
to endure in this dark hell.

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We paid our price, and now
we pray for our release.

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Tamsen sat crying
quietly to herself.

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I felt like a fool.

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I ended by saying, we still
may hope to escape alive

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if God should change his
mind and wish to set us free,

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if God should care to
see us all survive.

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Here, my voice dropped.

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I stopped speaking
and raised my eyes

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to the solid ceiling, a dome
built of boughs and skin,

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sealed fast by
ice, the only holes

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stopped with bits of clothes.

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It no longer felt like a cold
cave but had become home to us.

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And yet I thought,
good gray ghost, winter

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won't last forever.

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The freeze can't hold
too long like this.

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So let us see the sun
carve through the cold.

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Let the drifts shrink
down from the door.

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May the mild sun melt the
snow away and free the fields

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so we can drive across
the grass again.

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Every night that
we sit in this hut,

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we think of the greened ground.

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In our daydreams,
we watch a creek

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swollen brown with
silt rise in the spring

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while the bank bubbles
and the soft soil steams.

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In the winter gloom, our girls
had grown as crafty as cats,

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thin and gray.

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But they were fed today,
so we felt content

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singing old carols in the cold,
although each time the wind

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increased, all the
walls would creak.

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The weight of winter
pressed upon our backs

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like a field filled with rocks.

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Then the sun went down, and
we crept out of the hole

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to see the stars,
a million lights

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over the lifeless meadow.

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We fell on our knees and crawled
back to our beds once more.

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The wind had blown
the whole sky clear,

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letting the light
of the moon fall

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on our entrance like a stone."

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