WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.210 align:middle line:90% 00:00:02.210 --> 00:00:04.730 align:middle line:90% Thanks, Tommy. 00:00:04.730 --> 00:00:08.990 align:middle line:84% I would have worn my Adidas tracksuit with my headband 00:00:08.990 --> 00:00:12.540 align:middle line:84% if I knew that was going to be part of it. 00:00:12.540 --> 00:00:15.230 align:middle line:90% Thank you, everyone for coming. 00:00:15.230 --> 00:00:18.030 align:middle line:84% Thank you, Ander, for arranging all this. 00:00:18.030 --> 00:00:22.520 align:middle line:84% And thank you to the Poetry Center for having us and having 00:00:22.520 --> 00:00:24.320 align:middle line:90% the series. 00:00:24.320 --> 00:00:29.180 align:middle line:84% I thought-- can you hear me well? 00:00:29.180 --> 00:00:32.275 align:middle line:84% I thought I would begin from the beginning 00:00:32.275 --> 00:00:33.650 align:middle line:84% and just read for a little while. 00:00:33.650 --> 00:00:41.010 align:middle line:90% 00:00:41.010 --> 00:00:44.730 align:middle line:84% And there's an epigraph here that-- 00:00:44.730 --> 00:00:48.150 align:middle line:90% from, of course, Revelation. 00:00:48.150 --> 00:00:51.450 align:middle line:84% "And whosoever was not found written in the book of life 00:00:51.450 --> 00:00:52.965 align:middle line:90% was cast into the lake of fire." 00:00:52.965 --> 00:00:58.640 align:middle line:90% 00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:00.890 align:middle line:84% "Because a picture is a sort of dream, 00:01:00.890 --> 00:01:02.720 align:middle line:84% the big moon circles the whirling Earth 00:01:02.720 --> 00:01:04.940 align:middle line:84% that follows our little burning star. 00:01:04.940 --> 00:01:07.670 align:middle line:84% And my father hasn't entered the third state. 00:01:07.670 --> 00:01:10.160 align:middle line:84% He's not stressed out here in the back woods of nowhere 00:01:10.160 --> 00:01:12.140 align:middle line:90% becoming the ground. 00:01:12.140 --> 00:01:13.940 align:middle line:90% All the stars are flying away. 00:01:13.940 --> 00:01:15.830 align:middle line:90% The universe empty now. 00:01:15.830 --> 00:01:17.690 align:middle line:84% My father empty by the moon's glare 00:01:17.690 --> 00:01:21.050 align:middle line:84% until he's all shadow and light, beautiful almost. 00:01:21.050 --> 00:01:24.950 align:middle line:84% So overexposed he could be a young man in a photograph. 00:01:24.950 --> 00:01:29.060 align:middle line:84% Light seconds above, orbiting hollowly its lens, 00:01:29.060 --> 00:01:31.490 align:middle line:84% always backward into the night that was. 00:01:31.490 --> 00:01:34.610 align:middle line:84% Clicks a portrait of the artist as a young bomb. 00:01:34.610 --> 00:01:37.670 align:middle line:84% We measure the future by measuring the past. 00:01:37.670 --> 00:01:39.420 align:middle line:90% So where did he go? 00:01:39.420 --> 00:01:41.540 align:middle line:84% Where did the light go that was his body? 00:01:41.540 --> 00:01:45.020 align:middle line:84% The blood that cycled his veins, the too bright picture of him 00:01:45.020 --> 00:01:46.250 align:middle line:90% with his sweetheart-- 00:01:46.250 --> 00:01:49.220 align:middle line:84% my mother in her saddle oxfords, and he in his jeans. 00:01:49.220 --> 00:01:51.350 align:middle line:84% Their white shirts fused into the stone 00:01:51.350 --> 00:01:53.570 align:middle line:90% of an Oklahoma high school. 00:01:53.570 --> 00:01:57.380 align:middle line:84% Six years later, he'd be flying out of a sac base in Topeka 00:01:57.380 --> 00:02:01.490 align:middle line:84% up to the North Pole and back, heavy with a single bomb. 00:02:01.490 --> 00:02:05.330 align:middle line:84% And the other things, I know he dreamed of a wife and two kids, 00:02:05.330 --> 00:02:07.310 align:middle line:84% of a tall house inside the spiraling 00:02:07.310 --> 00:02:09.380 align:middle line:90% cloud of Georgia suburbs. 00:02:09.380 --> 00:02:12.650 align:middle line:84% I know he dreamed of moon travel weekends and the art 00:02:12.650 --> 00:02:14.930 align:middle line:90% of amateur photography. 00:02:14.930 --> 00:02:17.750 align:middle line:84% What about the pictures never taken of his sunken farm 00:02:17.750 --> 00:02:19.460 align:middle line:90% and flooded fields? 00:02:19.460 --> 00:02:22.670 align:middle line:84% And where did the light go that was his last smile as he slept 00:02:22.670 --> 00:02:25.110 align:middle line:90% and shivered in the empty air? 00:02:25.110 --> 00:02:27.650 align:middle line:84% We've seen the end, having dreamed it. 00:02:27.650 --> 00:02:30.020 align:middle line:84% A cosmological sadness leaving no one 00:02:30.020 --> 00:02:33.020 align:middle line:84% left to measure the last gesture of the last thinking 00:02:33.020 --> 00:02:36.320 align:middle line:84% subject, when the lights go out in the stars. 00:02:36.320 --> 00:02:37.760 align:middle line:90% He lies in state. 00:02:37.760 --> 00:02:39.530 align:middle line:90% I consider this. 00:02:39.530 --> 00:02:41.420 align:middle line:84% And now somewhere in the far pines, 00:02:41.420 --> 00:02:43.790 align:middle line:84% a mockingbird spits a strange tune. 00:02:43.790 --> 00:02:46.850 align:middle line:84% Maybe Charlie Parker edged into Bob Wills. 00:02:46.850 --> 00:02:49.250 align:middle line:90% And its 1954 all over again. 00:02:49.250 --> 00:02:52.730 align:middle line:84% My father on leave and fallen three sheets to the wind, 00:02:52.730 --> 00:02:56.180 align:middle line:84% lying in his new suit under a hurtling sky. 00:02:56.180 --> 00:02:59.150 align:middle line:84% Just beyond and in all new directions, 00:02:59.150 --> 00:03:01.190 align:middle line:84% the animals move upon the Earth at night. 00:03:01.190 --> 00:03:04.890 align:middle line:90% 00:03:04.890 --> 00:03:07.850 align:middle line:90% Chapter 1. 00:03:07.850 --> 00:03:10.280 align:middle line:84% I snapped off the cardboard back of the wooden triangle 00:03:10.280 --> 00:03:11.600 align:middle line:90% and took it out. 00:03:11.600 --> 00:03:13.647 align:middle line:84% A slight, musty smell rose from my hands, 00:03:13.647 --> 00:03:15.980 align:middle line:84% filled as it were with the thing that had been locked up 00:03:15.980 --> 00:03:17.930 align:middle line:90% for several years now. 00:03:17.930 --> 00:03:20.570 align:middle line:84% Dusty stars clung to my fingers while lines of color 00:03:20.570 --> 00:03:22.562 align:middle line:90% tumbled across the floor. 00:03:22.562 --> 00:03:24.020 align:middle line:84% Maybe you started with the stripes, 00:03:24.020 --> 00:03:27.020 align:middle line:84% I thought, kneeling down inside the four corners. 00:03:27.020 --> 00:03:29.810 align:middle line:84% Maybe it was mostly luck, luck and accumulation, 00:03:29.810 --> 00:03:31.910 align:middle line:90% like folding a map. 00:03:31.910 --> 00:03:33.890 align:middle line:84% Even halfway through, I felt lucky-- 00:03:33.890 --> 00:03:35.270 align:middle line:84% turning a quick corner into three 00:03:35.270 --> 00:03:38.240 align:middle line:84% points like a child making paper triangles. 00:03:38.240 --> 00:03:41.510 align:middle line:84% But reaching the end, I saw the same old picture again. 00:03:41.510 --> 00:03:43.580 align:middle line:84% My last row is twisted and dangling 00:03:43.580 --> 00:03:45.860 align:middle line:90% beneath the field of stars. 00:03:45.860 --> 00:03:47.720 align:middle line:84% I wondered if I should try once more. 00:03:47.720 --> 00:03:50.120 align:middle line:84% Wasn't it a matter of simple geometry? 00:03:50.120 --> 00:03:53.570 align:middle line:84% Easy crease and tuck, like the soldiers did on TV. 00:03:53.570 --> 00:03:56.150 align:middle line:84% Yet I failed every time I had tried to fold it. 00:03:56.150 --> 00:03:57.950 align:middle line:84% Over and over, I'd felt compelled 00:03:57.950 --> 00:04:00.410 align:middle line:84% to correct the improperly shaped thing in its cheap display 00:04:00.410 --> 00:04:01.160 align:middle line:90% case. 00:04:01.160 --> 00:04:04.850 align:middle line:84% And over and over, my efforts had come to bad ends. 00:04:04.850 --> 00:04:07.550 align:middle line:84% So I stuffed Old Glory back into its container-- 00:04:07.550 --> 00:04:09.770 align:middle line:84% blue patch of stars jutting out unevenly 00:04:09.770 --> 00:04:11.318 align:middle line:90% against crooked stripes. 00:04:11.318 --> 00:04:12.860 align:middle line:84% I hoped the neighbors wouldn't notice 00:04:12.860 --> 00:04:15.140 align:middle line:84% the flag case tucked beneath my arm, 00:04:15.140 --> 00:04:17.360 align:middle line:90% even as I'd have to explain it. 00:04:17.360 --> 00:04:20.510 align:middle line:84% I have to say I was taking it, my father's burial flag, 00:04:20.510 --> 00:04:22.010 align:middle line:90% on a little trip. 00:04:22.010 --> 00:04:23.600 align:middle line:84% That I was going to carry it with me 00:04:23.600 --> 00:04:25.100 align:middle line:84% through the back roads of Alabama 00:04:25.100 --> 00:04:27.170 align:middle line:90% on a kind of pilgrimage. 00:04:27.170 --> 00:04:30.770 align:middle line:84% And of course, I couldn't stop there on the loaded word 00:04:30.770 --> 00:04:31.460 align:middle line:90% 'pilgrimage.' 00:04:31.460 --> 00:04:33.500 align:middle line:90% Because they'd only want more. 00:04:33.500 --> 00:04:35.690 align:middle line:84% I'd have to say I was setting out on a trip 00:04:35.690 --> 00:04:38.180 align:middle line:84% through the low hills of Northern Alabama, 00:04:38.180 --> 00:04:40.970 align:middle line:84% climbing Lookout Mountain, hoping to descend again 00:04:40.970 --> 00:04:45.260 align:middle line:84% into the valley to the tri-state crematory in noble Georgia. 00:04:45.260 --> 00:04:47.720 align:middle line:84% But my bewilderment about the excursion itself, 00:04:47.720 --> 00:04:50.150 align:middle line:84% and about that flag, would prevent me 00:04:50.150 --> 00:04:52.610 align:middle line:84% from having given a practical description of what 00:04:52.610 --> 00:04:54.470 align:middle line:90% had happened at tri-state. 00:04:54.470 --> 00:04:57.860 align:middle line:84% Instead, I'd probably head straight to the big trouble. 00:04:57.860 --> 00:05:01.790 align:middle line:84% I'd say, yes, astonishing as it may be, my father had died, 00:05:01.790 --> 00:05:04.040 align:middle line:84% and his bones had been resurrected. 00:05:04.040 --> 00:05:06.800 align:middle line:84% And then those same bones, the bones of my father, 00:05:06.800 --> 00:05:08.900 align:middle line:84% had been abandoned at the Tri-State Crematory 00:05:08.900 --> 00:05:10.490 align:middle line:90% for five years. 00:05:10.490 --> 00:05:14.060 align:middle line:84% The man was dead, rose again, and dwelt among the other dead 00:05:14.060 --> 00:05:15.830 align:middle line:90% for a time. 00:05:15.830 --> 00:05:18.800 align:middle line:84% Even in the South, such apocalyptic declarations 00:05:18.800 --> 00:05:21.440 align:middle line:84% might overwhelm my devout neighbors. 00:05:21.440 --> 00:05:24.480 align:middle line:84% But the story required no articles of faith. 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:26.690 align:middle line:84% My father had died, and I'd gone to his funeral. 00:05:26.690 --> 00:05:28.670 align:middle line:90% And he was buried in the ground. 00:05:28.670 --> 00:05:30.980 align:middle line:84% I saw him lowered into the red dirt. 00:05:30.980 --> 00:05:32.210 align:middle line:90% My father was dead. 00:05:32.210 --> 00:05:33.980 align:middle line:84% And the doors of his graves flew open, 00:05:33.980 --> 00:05:36.503 align:middle line:84% and he came up again upon the Earth. 00:05:36.503 --> 00:05:38.420 align:middle line:84% I would have to tell all that to my neighbors, 00:05:38.420 --> 00:05:40.400 align:middle line:84% because I didn't know what else to say. 00:05:40.400 --> 00:05:42.200 align:middle line:84% I was setting off to unholy ground, 00:05:42.200 --> 00:05:44.480 align:middle line:84% to a field with the lake where hundreds of bodies 00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:46.580 align:middle line:84% once lay scattered and alone, hoping 00:05:46.580 --> 00:05:48.350 align:middle line:90% that something would happen. 00:05:48.350 --> 00:05:51.020 align:middle line:84% For a while, I'd lived with an image of my father lying lost 00:05:51.020 --> 00:05:54.560 align:middle line:84% at the Tri-State Crematory, and I needed to change it. 00:05:54.560 --> 00:05:56.360 align:middle line:84% I needed to take a ride to Tri-State 00:05:56.360 --> 00:05:58.940 align:middle line:84% and see where he'd lain those long years. 00:05:58.940 --> 00:06:00.350 align:middle line:90% I needed to tell him goodbye-- 00:06:00.350 --> 00:06:01.880 align:middle line:90% or hello, and goodbye. 00:06:01.880 --> 00:06:03.740 align:middle line:84% Or tell him nothing, but that I had tried. 00:06:03.740 --> 00:06:06.530 align:middle line:84% I tried to make amends for his troubled bones. 00:06:06.530 --> 00:06:09.410 align:middle line:84% And I had that flag, wrapped up all crooked and wrong 00:06:09.410 --> 00:06:11.380 align:middle line:90% to prove it."