WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.070 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.070 --> 00:00:03.330 align:middle line:84% This one is called "Explaining Sadness." 00:00:03.330 --> 00:00:06.390 align:middle line:90% 00:00:06.390 --> 00:00:08.130 align:middle line:84% For my birthday, Scott brought me 00:00:08.130 --> 00:00:10.080 align:middle line:84% a boomerang. He found it in an alley, 00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:12.990 align:middle line:84% and I tucked it into my belt, strutted around the bar 00:00:12.990 --> 00:00:17.190 align:middle line:84% until they kicked me out for having a weapon in my pants. 00:00:17.190 --> 00:00:20.400 align:middle line:84% At home, I hung it on the wall, thought of the little girl who 00:00:20.400 --> 00:00:23.160 align:middle line:84% might have thrown it, sitting at the window every night, 00:00:23.160 --> 00:00:26.010 align:middle line:84% waiting for it to return like her father, 00:00:26.010 --> 00:00:28.890 align:middle line:84% who told her before leaving that accidents only happened 00:00:28.890 --> 00:00:31.590 align:middle line:90% to the careless and ignorant. 00:00:31.590 --> 00:00:34.560 align:middle line:84% I once slammed my sister's finger in the car door. 00:00:34.560 --> 00:00:36.390 align:middle line:90% Maybe I meant to. 00:00:36.390 --> 00:00:37.860 align:middle line:84% During last month's storm, an oak 00:00:37.860 --> 00:00:40.860 align:middle line:84% fell into our high school English teacher's living room. 00:00:40.860 --> 00:00:43.350 align:middle line:84% No one pointed a finger at the tree. 00:00:43.350 --> 00:00:45.630 align:middle line:84% A neighbor told his daughter the tree got tired 00:00:45.630 --> 00:00:47.700 align:middle line:90% and needed to lie down. 00:00:47.700 --> 00:00:49.890 align:middle line:84% That night, she dreamed of being knocked over 00:00:49.890 --> 00:00:54.930 align:middle line:84% and not getting back up, but being swallowed into the Earth. 00:00:54.930 --> 00:00:57.240 align:middle line:84% I miss the hills of the graveyard, swollen 00:00:57.240 --> 00:00:59.250 align:middle line:84% with gravestones that were never made 00:00:59.250 --> 00:01:02.800 align:middle line:84% because the families of the dead couldn't afford them. 00:01:02.800 --> 00:01:04.769 align:middle line:84% I say this to my mother, and I know 00:01:04.769 --> 00:01:07.710 align:middle line:84% there's nothing to do but pace the room until I have caught up 00:01:07.710 --> 00:01:09.060 align:middle line:90% with my shadow. 00:01:09.060 --> 00:01:11.130 align:middle line:84% And the feedback on the phone is the sound 00:01:11.130 --> 00:01:14.700 align:middle line:84% of my first girlfriend singing in the shower. 00:01:14.700 --> 00:01:17.280 align:middle line:84% Tonight I'll take any distraction. 00:01:17.280 --> 00:01:18.900 align:middle line:84% I'll listen for any creature that 00:01:18.900 --> 00:01:22.260 align:middle line:84% cries because of the sunset, to any drop of water that 00:01:22.260 --> 00:01:25.440 align:middle line:84% thinks it's independent enough to leave its mother in search 00:01:25.440 --> 00:01:27.240 align:middle line:90% of the river. 00:01:27.240 --> 00:01:30.700 align:middle line:84% We make our own canyons if we drag our feet long enough. 00:01:30.700 --> 00:01:33.510 align:middle line:84% And if we refuse to move and are impaired by depression, 00:01:33.510 --> 00:01:36.210 align:middle line:84% death sneaks up on its four spindly legs 00:01:36.210 --> 00:01:40.320 align:middle line:84% and rips us from our body like a sheet of notebook paper. 00:01:40.320 --> 00:01:44.670 align:middle line:84% Little girl, we know each other only by this chunk of wood, 00:01:44.670 --> 00:01:47.730 align:middle line:84% but I still imagine you waking, your hair folded 00:01:47.730 --> 00:01:50.280 align:middle line:84% over your shoulders like the wings of bats, 00:01:50.280 --> 00:01:53.190 align:middle line:84% crying because you are afraid of the future, its toenails 00:01:53.190 --> 00:01:55.410 align:middle line:90% growing beneath your bed. 00:01:55.410 --> 00:01:57.510 align:middle line:84% If we ever meet, I'll confess that I've 00:01:57.510 --> 00:02:00.690 align:middle line:84% been having the same dream for the last 10 years. 00:02:00.690 --> 00:02:05.580 align:middle line:84% A friend falls asleep and has a seizure, chokes on his vomit. 00:02:05.580 --> 00:02:07.500 align:middle line:90% His mother holds my hand. 00:02:07.500 --> 00:02:10.470 align:middle line:84% That drop of water makes its way to the ocean, 00:02:10.470 --> 00:02:14.160 align:middle line:84% leaves its trail on the beaches of Sierra Leone and Koidu, 00:02:14.160 --> 00:02:16.560 align:middle line:84% where the rain is good luck, and the amputees 00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:20.990 align:middle line:84% walk with their heads down to find the diamonds in the mud. 00:02:20.990 --> 00:02:22.000 align:middle line:90%