WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.620 align:middle line:90% 00:00:01.620 --> 00:00:03.960 align:middle line:84% All right, so this story is called "Tiger Mending." 00:00:03.960 --> 00:00:08.670 align:middle line:84% And the impetus for this story, because they all kind of 00:00:08.670 --> 00:00:10.260 align:middle line:84% come from a different little spot, 00:00:10.260 --> 00:00:13.530 align:middle line:84% is there was a magazine called "Black Book." 00:00:13.530 --> 00:00:16.140 align:middle line:90% Maybe, it just recently folded? 00:00:16.140 --> 00:00:18.420 align:middle line:90% Does that sound right? 00:00:18.420 --> 00:00:25.770 align:middle line:84% They paired writers and artists, and I ended up 00:00:25.770 --> 00:00:28.920 align:middle line:84% working with a wonderful painter named Amy Cutler, who 00:00:28.920 --> 00:00:31.290 align:middle line:90% was working in gouache. 00:00:31.290 --> 00:00:33.090 align:middle line:90% I'm not even sure how to say it. 00:00:33.090 --> 00:00:35.880 align:middle line:84% And she makes these very fairy tale influenced paintings, 00:00:35.880 --> 00:00:38.302 align:middle line:84% often about women doing some sort of work. 00:00:38.302 --> 00:00:40.260 align:middle line:84% And there are women with chairs on their heads, 00:00:40.260 --> 00:00:42.090 align:middle line:84% or there are women crossing bridges 00:00:42.090 --> 00:00:44.850 align:middle line:84% with strange things coming out of their bodies. 00:00:44.850 --> 00:00:49.350 align:middle line:84% And they're just very dreamlike, and compelling, 00:00:49.350 --> 00:00:50.820 align:middle line:90% and they're very detailed. 00:00:50.820 --> 00:00:54.360 align:middle line:84% So she had a painting, and the painting 00:00:54.360 --> 00:00:57.620 align:middle line:84% was called "Tiger Mending," and the image of the painting 00:00:57.620 --> 00:00:59.370 align:middle line:84% is one of the central images in the story, 00:00:59.370 --> 00:01:01.900 align:middle line:84% and I wanted to try to explain what that image came from. 00:01:01.900 --> 00:01:03.780 align:middle line:84% So, that was where this came from. 00:01:03.780 --> 00:01:06.450 align:middle line:90% 00:01:06.450 --> 00:01:09.250 align:middle line:90% "My sister got the job. 00:01:09.250 --> 00:01:10.770 align:middle line:84% She's the overachiever, and she went 00:01:10.770 --> 00:01:13.530 align:middle line:84% to Med school for two years before she decided she wanted 00:01:13.530 --> 00:01:15.570 align:middle line:90% to be a gifted seamstress. 00:01:15.570 --> 00:01:16.260 align:middle line:90% "What?" 00:01:16.260 --> 00:01:17.850 align:middle line:90% They said, on the day she left. 00:01:17.850 --> 00:01:20.877 align:middle line:84% "A surgeon," they told her, "you could be a tremendous surgeon." 00:01:20.877 --> 00:01:22.710 align:middle line:84% But she said she didn't like the late hours, 00:01:22.710 --> 00:01:25.380 align:middle line:84% she got too tired around midnight. 00:01:25.380 --> 00:01:28.290 align:middle line:84% She has small motor skills better than a machine. 00:01:28.290 --> 00:01:30.030 align:middle line:84% She'll fix your handkerchiefs so well 00:01:30.030 --> 00:01:32.760 align:middle line:84% you can't even see the stitches, like she became one 00:01:32.760 --> 00:01:34.530 align:middle line:90% with a handkerchief. 00:01:34.530 --> 00:01:36.810 align:middle line:84% I once split my lip jumping from the tree, 00:01:36.810 --> 00:01:38.730 align:middle line:84% and she sewed it up with ice and a needle 00:01:38.730 --> 00:01:40.440 align:middle line:90% she'd run through the fire. 00:01:40.440 --> 00:01:46.000 align:middle line:84% I barely even had a scar, just the thinnest white line. 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:48.810 align:middle line:84% So, of course when the two women came through the sewing school 00:01:48.810 --> 00:01:50.490 align:middle line:90% they spotted her first. 00:01:50.490 --> 00:01:53.370 align:middle line:84% She was working on her final exam, a lime-colored ball 00:01:53.370 --> 00:01:55.920 align:middle line:84% gown with tiny diamonds sewn into the collar. 00:01:55.920 --> 00:01:57.660 align:middle line:84% And she was fully absorbed in it, 00:01:57.660 --> 00:01:59.940 align:middle line:84% constructing infinitesimal loops, 00:01:59.940 --> 00:02:02.800 align:middle line:84% while they hovered with their severe hair and heady tree 00:02:02.800 --> 00:02:03.810 align:middle line:90% smell. 00:02:03.810 --> 00:02:08.020 align:middle line:84% "Like bamboo," my sister said, watching her work. 00:02:08.020 --> 00:02:10.139 align:middle line:84% My sister is so steady she didn't even flinch, 00:02:10.139 --> 00:02:13.020 align:middle line:84% but everyone else in class seized upon the distraction, 00:02:13.020 --> 00:02:16.320 align:middle line:84% staring at the two Amazonian women, both six feet tall 00:02:16.320 --> 00:02:18.600 align:middle line:90% and strikingly beautiful. 00:02:18.600 --> 00:02:20.730 align:middle line:84% When I met them later, I felt I'd landed 00:02:20.730 --> 00:02:24.210 align:middle line:90% straight inside a magazine ad. 00:02:24.210 --> 00:02:27.990 align:middle line:84% At the time I was working at Burger King, as block manager. 00:02:27.990 --> 00:02:29.580 align:middle line:90% There were two on the block. 00:02:29.580 --> 00:02:31.920 align:middle line:84% And I took any distraction offered me and used it 00:02:31.920 --> 00:02:34.740 align:middle line:84% to its hilt. Once, a guy came in and ordered a Big Mac, 00:02:34.740 --> 00:02:37.200 align:middle line:84% and for two days I told that story to every customer, 00:02:37.200 --> 00:02:39.300 align:middle line:90% and it's not a good story. 00:02:39.300 --> 00:02:41.950 align:middle line:84% There's so rarely any intrigue in the shaberdash world 00:02:41.950 --> 00:02:45.400 align:middle line:84% of burger warming, you take what you can get. 00:02:45.400 --> 00:02:47.910 align:middle line:84% But my sister was born with supernatural focus, 00:02:47.910 --> 00:02:50.280 align:middle line:84% and the two women watched her and her alone. 00:02:50.280 --> 00:02:51.893 align:middle line:90% Who can compete? 00:02:51.893 --> 00:02:53.310 align:middle line:84% My sister has won all the contests 00:02:53.310 --> 00:02:54.840 align:middle line:84% she's ever been in, not because she's 00:02:54.840 --> 00:02:56.840 align:middle line:84% such an outrageous competitor, but because she's 00:02:56.840 --> 00:02:59.430 align:middle line:90% so focused in this gentle way. 00:02:59.430 --> 00:03:00.690 align:middle line:90% Why not win? 00:03:00.690 --> 00:03:03.120 align:middle line:84% Sometimes it's all you need to run the fastest, 00:03:03.120 --> 00:03:05.430 align:middle line:84% or to play the clearest piano, or to ace 00:03:05.430 --> 00:03:08.400 align:middle line:84% the standardized test; pausing at each question 00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:10.230 align:middle line:84% until it has slid through your mind 00:03:10.230 --> 00:03:14.010 align:middle line:90% to exit as a penciled-in circle. 00:03:14.010 --> 00:03:16.540 align:middle line:84% In low, sweet voices, the women asked my sister 00:03:16.540 --> 00:03:18.000 align:middle line:90% if she'd like to see Asia. 00:03:18.000 --> 00:03:20.340 align:middle line:84% She finally looked up from her work. 00:03:20.340 --> 00:03:21.840 align:middle line:90% "Is there a sewing job there?" 00:03:21.840 --> 00:03:22.830 align:middle line:90% They nodded. 00:03:22.830 --> 00:03:25.650 align:middle line:84% She said she'd love to see Asia, she'd never left America. 00:03:25.650 --> 00:03:29.510 align:middle line:84% They said, "Well, it's a highly unusual job." 00:03:29.510 --> 00:03:30.510 align:middle line:90% "May I bring my sister?" 00:03:30.510 --> 00:03:31.010 align:middle line:90% She said. 00:03:31.010 --> 00:03:33.250 align:middle line:90% "She's never traveled either." 00:03:33.250 --> 00:03:35.140 align:middle line:84% The two women glanced at each other. 00:03:35.140 --> 00:03:36.600 align:middle line:90% "What does your sister do?" 00:03:36.600 --> 00:03:37.710 align:middle line:90% They asked. 00:03:37.710 --> 00:03:41.100 align:middle line:84% "She's manager of the Burger Kings down on Fourth." 00:03:41.100 --> 00:03:43.110 align:middle line:84% Their disapproval was faint but palpable, 00:03:43.110 --> 00:03:44.820 align:middle line:90% especially in the upper lip. 00:03:44.820 --> 00:03:47.950 align:middle line:84% "She would simply keep you company. 00:03:47.950 --> 00:03:50.490 align:middle line:84% What we are offering you," they said, "is a position 00:03:50.490 --> 00:03:51.600 align:middle line:90% of tremendous privilege. 00:03:51.600 --> 00:03:54.630 align:middle line:84% Aren't you interested in hearing about it first?" 00:03:54.630 --> 00:03:56.340 align:middle line:90% My sister nodded lightly. 00:03:56.340 --> 00:03:58.380 align:middle line:84% "It sounds very interesting," she said, 00:03:58.380 --> 00:04:02.130 align:middle line:84% "but I cannot travel without my sister." 00:04:02.130 --> 00:04:03.240 align:middle line:90% This is true. 00:04:03.240 --> 00:04:05.340 align:middle line:84% My sister, the one with that incredible focus, 00:04:05.340 --> 00:04:07.050 align:middle line:84% has a terrible fear of airplanes. 00:04:07.050 --> 00:04:09.175 align:middle line:90% Terrible, incapacitating. 00:04:09.175 --> 00:04:10.800 align:middle line:84% The only way she can relax on a flight, 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:12.510 align:middle line:84% is if I am there because I am always, 00:04:12.510 --> 00:04:14.430 align:middle line:84% always having some sort of crisis. 00:04:14.430 --> 00:04:18.779 align:middle line:84% And she focuses in, and fixes me and forgets her own concerns. 00:04:18.779 --> 00:04:20.753 align:middle line:90% I become her ripped hemline. 00:04:20.753 --> 00:04:22.170 align:middle line:84% In general, I call her every night 00:04:22.170 --> 00:04:24.510 align:middle line:84% and we talk for an hour, which is 45 minutes of me 00:04:24.510 --> 00:04:26.670 align:middle line:84% and 50 minutes of her stirring her tea. 00:04:26.670 --> 00:04:28.682 align:middle line:84% Which she steeps with a kind of zen patience 00:04:28.682 --> 00:04:30.390 align:middle line:84% that would make Buddhists sit up in envy, 00:04:30.390 --> 00:04:31.890 align:middle line:84% and then breathe through their envy, 00:04:31.890 --> 00:04:34.363 align:middle line:90% and then move past their envy. 00:04:34.363 --> 00:04:36.780 align:middle line:84% I'm really, really lucky she's my sister, otherwise no one 00:04:36.780 --> 00:04:40.770 align:middle line:84% like her would give someone like me the time of day. 00:04:40.770 --> 00:04:43.230 align:middle line:84% The two Amazonian women, lousy with confidence, 00:04:43.230 --> 00:04:45.720 align:middle line:84% with their ridiculous cheekbones in these long yellow print 00:04:45.720 --> 00:04:47.790 align:middle line:90% dresses said, "OK." 00:04:47.790 --> 00:04:51.677 align:middle line:84% They observed my sister's hands, quiet in her lap. 00:04:51.677 --> 00:04:53.010 align:middle line:90% "Do you get along with animals?" 00:04:53.010 --> 00:04:53.610 align:middle line:90% They asked. 00:04:53.610 --> 00:04:56.460 align:middle line:84% And she said yes, she loved every animal. 00:04:56.460 --> 00:04:58.080 align:middle line:90% "Do you have allergies to cats?" 00:04:58.080 --> 00:04:58.710 align:middle line:90% They asked. 00:04:58.710 --> 00:05:02.630 align:middle line:84% And she said no, she was allergic only to pine nuts. 00:05:02.630 --> 00:05:05.060 align:middle line:84% The slightly taller one reached into her dress pocket. 00:05:05.060 --> 00:05:07.260 align:middle line:84% A pocket so well hidden inside the fabric, 00:05:07.260 --> 00:05:09.830 align:middle line:84% it was like she was reaching into the ether of space, 00:05:09.830 --> 00:05:13.310 align:middle line:84% and from it her hand returned with an airplane ticket. 00:05:13.310 --> 00:05:16.460 align:middle line:84% "We are very happy to have found you," they said. 00:05:16.460 --> 00:05:20.870 align:middle line:84% "The additional ticket will arrive tomorrow." 00:05:20.870 --> 00:05:22.430 align:middle line:90% My sister smiled. 00:05:22.430 --> 00:05:25.760 align:middle line:84% I know her, she was probably terrified to see that ticket, 00:05:25.760 --> 00:05:28.880 align:middle line:84% and also she really wanted to return to the diamond loops. 00:05:28.880 --> 00:05:31.790 align:middle line:84% She probably wasn't even that curious about the new job yet. 00:05:31.790 --> 00:05:35.180 align:middle line:84% She was, and is stubbornly, mind-numbingly interested 00:05:35.180 --> 00:05:37.587 align:middle line:90% in the present moment. 00:05:37.587 --> 00:05:39.170 align:middle line:84% When we were kids, I used to come home 00:05:39.170 --> 00:05:41.043 align:middle line:84% and she'd be at the living room window. 00:05:41.043 --> 00:05:42.710 align:middle line:84% It was the best window in the apartment, 00:05:42.710 --> 00:05:46.010 align:middle line:84% looking out in the far distance on the tip of a mountain. 00:05:46.010 --> 00:05:47.930 align:middle line:84% For years, I tried to get her to play with me, 00:05:47.930 --> 00:05:49.730 align:middle line:90% but she was unplayable. 00:05:49.730 --> 00:05:53.210 align:middle line:84% She stared out that window, never moving for hours. 00:05:53.210 --> 00:05:55.710 align:middle line:84% By night, when she had returned, I'd usually injured myself 00:05:55.710 --> 00:05:57.710 align:middle line:84% in some way or another, and I'd ask her about it 00:05:57.710 --> 00:05:59.060 align:middle line:90% while she tended to me. 00:05:59.060 --> 00:06:01.840 align:middle line:84% She said the reason she could pay acute attention now, 00:06:01.840 --> 00:06:03.320 align:middle line:90% was because of the window. 00:06:03.320 --> 00:06:05.240 align:middle line:90% "It empties me out," she said. 00:06:05.240 --> 00:06:06.920 align:middle line:90% Which scared me. 00:06:06.920 --> 00:06:08.600 align:middle line:84% "No," she said to my frightened face 00:06:08.600 --> 00:06:10.820 align:middle line:84% as she sat on the edge of my bed and ran a washcloth 00:06:10.820 --> 00:06:12.170 align:middle line:90% over my forehead. 00:06:12.170 --> 00:06:13.220 align:middle line:90% "It's good," she said. 00:06:13.220 --> 00:06:15.720 align:middle line:84% "It makes room for other things." 00:06:15.720 --> 00:06:16.580 align:middle line:90% "Me?" 00:06:16.580 --> 00:06:17.690 align:middle line:90% I asked, with hope. 00:06:17.690 --> 00:06:20.720 align:middle line:90% And she nodded, "You." 00:06:20.720 --> 00:06:23.030 align:middle line:90% We had no parents by that point. 00:06:23.030 --> 00:06:25.220 align:middle line:84% One had left, and the other died at the hands 00:06:25.220 --> 00:06:27.770 align:middle line:84% of a surgeon, which is the real reason my sister stopped 00:06:27.770 --> 00:06:30.780 align:middle line:90% medical school. 00:06:30.780 --> 00:06:32.400 align:middle line:84% That night, she called me up and told 00:06:32.400 --> 00:06:35.070 align:middle line:84% me to quit my job, which is what I've been praying for months, 00:06:35.070 --> 00:06:37.112 align:middle line:84% that somehow I'd get a magical phone call telling 00:06:37.112 --> 00:06:41.010 align:middle line:84% me to quit my job because I was going on an exciting vacation. 00:06:41.010 --> 00:06:43.200 align:middle line:84% I threw down my B.K. apron, packed, 00:06:43.200 --> 00:06:45.930 align:middle line:84% and prepared as long as an account of my life complaints 00:06:45.930 --> 00:06:47.017 align:middle line:90% as I could. 00:06:47.017 --> 00:06:48.600 align:middle line:84% On the plane I asked my sister what we 00:06:48.600 --> 00:06:49.808 align:middle line:90% were doing, what her job was? 00:06:49.808 --> 00:06:52.570 align:middle line:84% But she refolded her tray table and said nothing. 00:06:52.570 --> 00:06:53.070 align:middle line:90% "Asia." 00:06:53.070 --> 00:06:54.600 align:middle line:90% I said, "What country?" 00:06:54.600 --> 00:06:56.580 align:middle line:90% She stared out the porthole. 00:06:56.580 --> 00:06:59.580 align:middle line:84% It was the pilot who told us as we buckled our seat belts. 00:06:59.580 --> 00:07:01.680 align:middle line:84% We were heading to Kuala Lumpur, straight 00:07:01.680 --> 00:07:03.510 align:middle line:90% into the heart of Malaysia. 00:07:03.510 --> 00:07:05.100 align:middle line:90% "Wait, where is Malaysia again?" 00:07:05.100 --> 00:07:06.030 align:middle line:90% I whispered. 00:07:06.030 --> 00:07:11.430 align:middle line:84% And my sister drew a map on the napkin, beneath her ginger ale. 00:07:11.430 --> 00:07:13.260 align:middle line:84% During the flight, I drank Bloody Mary's 00:07:13.260 --> 00:07:15.480 align:middle line:84% while my sister embroidered a doily. 00:07:15.480 --> 00:07:19.020 align:middle line:84% Even the other passengers seemed soothed by watching her work. 00:07:19.020 --> 00:07:21.090 align:middle line:84% I whispered all my problems into her ear, 00:07:21.090 --> 00:07:23.190 align:middle line:84% and she returned them to me in slow sentences 00:07:23.190 --> 00:07:24.870 align:middle line:90% that did the work of a lullaby. 00:07:24.870 --> 00:07:27.000 align:middle line:90% My eyes grew heavy. 00:07:27.000 --> 00:07:28.800 align:middle line:84% During the descent, she gave the doily 00:07:28.800 --> 00:07:31.620 align:middle line:84% to the man across the aisle, worried about his ailing son, 00:07:31.620 --> 00:07:33.180 align:middle line:84% and the needlework was so elegant, 00:07:33.180 --> 00:07:36.000 align:middle line:84% it made him feel better just to hold it. 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:38.550 align:middle line:84% That's the thing with handmade items. 00:07:38.550 --> 00:07:40.590 align:middle line:84% They still have the person's mark on them, 00:07:40.590 --> 00:07:44.370 align:middle line:84% and when you hold them, you feel less alone. 00:07:44.370 --> 00:07:46.303 align:middle line:84% This is why everyone who eats a Whopper, 00:07:46.303 --> 00:07:47.970 align:middle line:84% leaves a little more depressed than they 00:07:47.970 --> 00:07:48.940 align:middle line:90% were when they came in. 00:07:48.940 --> 00:07:51.450 align:middle line:90% 00:07:51.450 --> 00:07:53.370 align:middle line:84% At the airport curbside, a friendly driver 00:07:53.370 --> 00:07:56.067 align:middle line:84% picked us up and took us to a cheerful, green hotel, where 00:07:56.067 --> 00:07:57.900 align:middle line:84% we found a note on the bed telling my sister 00:07:57.900 --> 00:08:00.360 align:middle line:90% to be ready at 6:00 AM sharp. 00:08:00.360 --> 00:08:02.550 align:middle line:84% It didn't say I could come, but bright and early 00:08:02.550 --> 00:08:04.350 align:middle line:84% the next morning, scrubbed and fed, 00:08:04.350 --> 00:08:07.350 align:middle line:84% we faced the two Amazons in the lobby, who looked scornfully 00:08:07.350 --> 00:08:09.630 align:middle line:90% at me and my unsteady hands. 00:08:09.630 --> 00:08:11.700 align:middle line:90% I sort of pick at my hair a lot. 00:08:11.700 --> 00:08:13.770 align:middle line:84% And asked my sister why I was there. 00:08:13.770 --> 00:08:15.900 align:middle line:90% "Can't she watch?" she asked. 00:08:15.900 --> 00:08:17.490 align:middle line:90% And they said they weren't sure. 00:08:17.490 --> 00:08:20.790 align:middle line:84% "She," they said, "might be too anxious." 00:08:20.790 --> 00:08:22.260 align:middle line:84% "I swear, I won't touch anything." 00:08:22.260 --> 00:08:23.280 align:middle line:90% I said. 00:08:23.280 --> 00:08:26.160 align:middle line:84% "This is a private operation," they said. 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:27.810 align:middle line:90% My sister breathed. 00:08:27.810 --> 00:08:33.000 align:middle line:84% "I work best when she's nearby," she said, "please?" 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:35.220 align:middle line:84% And like usual, it was the way she said it, 00:08:35.220 --> 00:08:38.370 align:middle line:84% in that gentle voice that had a back to it. 00:08:38.370 --> 00:08:40.350 align:middle line:90% They opened the car door. 00:08:40.350 --> 00:08:44.240 align:middle line:90% "Thank you," my sister said. 00:08:44.240 --> 00:08:46.460 align:middle line:84% They blindfolded us for reasons of security, 00:08:46.460 --> 00:08:47.990 align:middle line:84% and we drove for more than an hour 00:08:47.990 --> 00:08:51.200 align:middle line:84% down winding, screeching roads parking finally in a place that 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:53.390 align:middle line:90% smelled of garlic and fruit. 00:08:53.390 --> 00:08:55.490 align:middle line:84% In front of a stone mansion, two more women 00:08:55.490 --> 00:08:58.850 align:middle line:84% dressed in printed robes waved as we removed our blindfolds. 00:08:58.850 --> 00:09:02.175 align:middle line:84% These two were short, delicate, calm. 00:09:02.175 --> 00:09:03.800 align:middle line:84% They led us into the living room and we 00:09:03.800 --> 00:09:05.750 align:middle line:84% hadn't been there for 10 minutes, when 00:09:05.750 --> 00:09:08.180 align:middle line:90% we heard the moaning. 00:09:08.180 --> 00:09:10.220 align:middle line:90% A bad moaning sound. 00:09:10.220 --> 00:09:13.310 align:middle line:84% A real bad, real mournful moaning coming from the North, 00:09:13.310 --> 00:09:16.310 align:middle line:84% outside, that reminded me of the worst loneliness, the worst 00:09:16.310 --> 00:09:18.320 align:middle line:90% long, lonely night. 00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:23.780 align:middle line:84% The Amazonian with the short shining cap of hair, nodded. 00:09:23.780 --> 00:09:26.390 align:middle line:84% "Those are the tigers," she said. 00:09:26.390 --> 00:09:27.020 align:middle line:90% "What tigers?" 00:09:27.020 --> 00:09:27.800 align:middle line:90% I said. 00:09:27.800 --> 00:09:29.660 align:middle line:90% "Shh," she said. 00:09:29.660 --> 00:09:31.430 align:middle line:84% I will call her Sloan, for no reason 00:09:31.430 --> 00:09:35.090 align:middle line:84% except that it's a good name for an intimidating person. 00:09:35.090 --> 00:09:37.412 align:middle line:90% Sloan said "Shh, quiet now." 00:09:37.412 --> 00:09:38.870 align:middle line:84% She took my sister by the shoulders 00:09:38.870 --> 00:09:41.510 align:middle line:84% and led her to the wide window that looked out on the land. 00:09:41.510 --> 00:09:44.120 align:middle line:84% As if she knew, instinctively, how wise 00:09:44.120 --> 00:09:47.000 align:middle line:84% it was to place my sister at a window. 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:47.840 align:middle line:90% "Watch." 00:09:47.840 --> 00:09:50.210 align:middle line:90% Sloan whispered. 00:09:50.210 --> 00:09:52.190 align:middle line:90% I stood behind. 00:09:52.190 --> 00:09:54.230 align:middle line:84% The two women from the front walked into view 00:09:54.230 --> 00:09:57.020 align:middle line:84% and settled on the ground near some clumps of ferns. 00:09:57.020 --> 00:09:57.890 align:middle line:90% They waited. 00:09:57.890 --> 00:10:00.230 align:middle line:84% They were very still minded, like my sister 00:10:00.230 --> 00:10:03.200 align:middle line:84% that stillness of mind, that ability I will never 00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:04.820 align:middle line:90% have to sit still. 00:10:04.820 --> 00:10:08.583 align:middle line:84% That ability to have the hands forget their hands. 00:10:08.583 --> 00:10:11.000 align:middle line:84% They closed their eyes, and the moaning I had heard before 00:10:11.000 --> 00:10:11.570 align:middle line:90% got louder. 00:10:11.570 --> 00:10:14.420 align:middle line:84% And then in the distance, I mean way off, 00:10:14.420 --> 00:10:17.300 align:middle line:84% the moaning grew even louder, almost unbearable to hear, 00:10:17.300 --> 00:10:20.930 align:middle line:84% and limping from the side lumbered two enormous tigers. 00:10:20.930 --> 00:10:23.725 align:middle line:90% Wailing, as if they were dying. 00:10:23.725 --> 00:10:25.100 align:middle line:84% As they got closer, you could see 00:10:25.100 --> 00:10:27.770 align:middle line:84% that their backs were split open, sort of peeled, 00:10:27.770 --> 00:10:30.050 align:middle line:84% as if someone had torn them in two. 00:10:30.050 --> 00:10:31.940 align:middle line:84% The fur was matted, and the stripes 00:10:31.940 --> 00:10:36.020 align:middle line:84% hung loose like packing tape ripped off their bodies. 00:10:36.020 --> 00:10:38.715 align:middle line:84% The women did not seem to move but two glittering needles 00:10:38.715 --> 00:10:40.340 align:middle line:84% worked their way out of their knuckles, 00:10:40.340 --> 00:10:42.080 align:middle line:90% climbing up out of their hands. 00:10:42.080 --> 00:10:45.980 align:middle line:84% And one of the tigers stepped closer. 00:10:45.980 --> 00:10:47.040 align:middle line:90% I thought I'd lose it. 00:10:47.040 --> 00:10:49.610 align:middle line:84% He was easily four times the first woman's size, 00:10:49.610 --> 00:10:52.010 align:middle line:84% and she was small, a tiger's snack. 00:10:52.010 --> 00:10:53.600 align:middle line:84% But he limped over in his giantness, 00:10:53.600 --> 00:10:55.700 align:middle line:90% and fell into her lap. 00:10:55.700 --> 00:10:58.730 align:middle line:84% Then his heavy striped head sunk to the ground. 00:10:58.730 --> 00:11:00.500 align:middle line:84% She smoothed the stripe back over, 00:11:00.500 --> 00:11:02.060 align:middle line:84% and the moment she pierced his fur 00:11:02.060 --> 00:11:07.190 align:middle line:84% with the needle, those big cat eyes dripped over with tears. 00:11:07.190 --> 00:11:09.120 align:middle line:90% It was very powerful. 00:11:09.120 --> 00:11:11.030 align:middle line:90% It brought me to tears too. 00:11:11.030 --> 00:11:14.600 align:middle line:84% Those expert hands, as steady as if he were a pair of pants, 00:11:14.600 --> 00:11:18.260 align:middle line:84% while the tiger's enormous head hung to the ground. 00:11:18.260 --> 00:11:20.690 align:middle line:84% My sister didn't move, but I had cried and cried 00:11:20.690 --> 00:11:22.670 align:middle line:84% seeing the giant broken animal, resting 00:11:22.670 --> 00:11:26.240 align:middle line:84% in the lap of the small, precise woman. 00:11:26.240 --> 00:11:28.730 align:middle line:84% It is so often surprising who rescues you 00:11:28.730 --> 00:11:30.710 align:middle line:90% at your lowest moment. 00:11:30.710 --> 00:11:33.410 align:middle line:84% When our father died in surgery the jerk at the liquor store, 00:11:33.410 --> 00:11:35.450 align:middle line:84% suddenly became the nicest man alive 00:11:35.450 --> 00:11:37.445 align:middle line:84% and gave us free cranberry juice for a year. 00:11:37.445 --> 00:11:40.030 align:middle line:90% 00:11:40.030 --> 00:11:41.030 align:middle line:90% "What happened to them?" 00:11:41.030 --> 00:11:41.690 align:middle line:90% I asked them. 00:11:41.690 --> 00:11:43.580 align:middle line:90% "Why are they like that?" 00:11:43.580 --> 00:11:45.950 align:middle line:90% She lifted her chin slightly. 00:11:45.950 --> 00:11:48.500 align:middle line:84% "We do not know, but they emerged from the forests, 00:11:48.500 --> 00:11:49.100 align:middle line:90% peeling. 00:11:49.100 --> 00:11:53.120 align:middle line:84% More and more of them always torn at the central stripe." 00:11:53.120 --> 00:11:55.220 align:middle line:90% "Do they ever eat people?" 00:11:55.220 --> 00:11:57.470 align:middle line:84% "Not so far," she said, "but they 00:11:57.470 --> 00:11:59.327 align:middle line:84% do not respond well to fidgeting." 00:11:59.327 --> 00:12:01.160 align:middle line:84% She said, watching me clear out my thumbnail 00:12:01.160 --> 00:12:03.808 align:middle line:90% with my other thumbnail. 00:12:03.808 --> 00:12:04.850 align:middle line:90% "Well, I'm not doing it." 00:12:04.850 --> 00:12:06.380 align:middle line:90% "You have not been asked." 00:12:06.380 --> 00:12:08.990 align:middle line:84% "They're so sad," said my sister. 00:12:08.990 --> 00:12:12.020 align:middle line:84% "Well, wouldn't you be?" said Sloan, "If you were a tiger 00:12:12.020 --> 00:12:14.240 align:middle line:90% unpeeling?" 00:12:14.240 --> 00:12:17.510 align:middle line:84% She put a hand on my sister's shoulder. 00:12:17.510 --> 00:12:20.150 align:middle line:84% When the mending was done, all four women and beasts 00:12:20.150 --> 00:12:22.190 align:middle line:84% sat in the sun for at least half an hour. 00:12:22.190 --> 00:12:26.390 align:middle line:84% Tiger's chests heaving, women's hands clutched in their fur. 00:12:26.390 --> 00:12:28.370 align:middle line:90% The day grew warm. 00:12:28.370 --> 00:12:30.530 align:middle line:84% In the distance, the moaning began again, 00:12:30.530 --> 00:12:32.630 align:middle line:84% and two more tigers limped up while the first two 00:12:32.630 --> 00:12:34.850 align:middle line:90% stretched out and slept. 00:12:34.850 --> 00:12:37.910 align:middle line:84% The woman sewed the next two, and the next one 00:12:37.910 --> 00:12:41.990 align:middle line:84% had a bloody rip across its white belly. 00:12:41.990 --> 00:12:44.090 align:middle line:84% After a few hours of work, the women 00:12:44.090 --> 00:12:47.570 align:middle line:84% put their needles away, the tigers raised themselves up, 00:12:47.570 --> 00:12:49.520 align:middle line:84% and without any lick or acknowledgment, 00:12:49.520 --> 00:12:53.390 align:middle line:84% walked off deep into that place where tigers live. 00:12:53.390 --> 00:12:55.400 align:middle line:90% The women returned to the house. 00:12:55.400 --> 00:12:58.250 align:middle line:84% Inside they smelled so deeply and earthly of cat, 00:12:58.250 --> 00:13:00.650 align:middle line:84% that they were almost unrecognizable. 00:13:00.650 --> 00:13:03.410 align:middle line:84% They also seemed lighter, nearly giddy. 00:13:03.410 --> 00:13:04.693 align:middle line:90% It was lunchtime. 00:13:04.693 --> 00:13:06.110 align:middle line:84% They joined us at the table, where 00:13:06.110 --> 00:13:10.400 align:middle line:84% Sloan served an amazing soup of curry and prawns. 00:13:10.400 --> 00:13:13.310 align:middle line:84% "It is an honor," said Sloan, "to mend the tigers." 00:13:13.310 --> 00:13:15.332 align:middle line:90% "I see," said my sister. 00:13:15.332 --> 00:13:16.790 align:middle line:84% "You will need very little training 00:13:16.790 --> 00:13:20.270 align:middle line:84% since your skill level is already so high." 00:13:20.270 --> 00:13:23.618 align:middle line:84% But my sister seemed frightened, in a way I hadn't seen before. 00:13:23.618 --> 00:13:25.160 align:middle line:84% She didn't eat much of her soup, when 00:13:25.160 --> 00:13:26.618 align:middle line:84% she returned her eyes to the window 00:13:26.618 --> 00:13:29.583 align:middle line:84% to the tangles of fluttering leaves. 00:13:29.583 --> 00:13:31.250 align:middle line:84% "I would have to go find out," she said. 00:13:31.250 --> 00:13:35.030 align:middle line:84% Finally when the chef returned with a tray of mango tartlets. 00:13:35.030 --> 00:13:36.500 align:middle line:90% "Find out what?" 00:13:36.500 --> 00:13:38.930 align:middle line:90% "Why they unpeel?" she said. 00:13:38.930 --> 00:13:42.350 align:middle line:84% She hung her head as if she was ashamed of her interest. 00:13:42.350 --> 00:13:47.260 align:middle line:84% "You're a mender," said Sloan gently, "not a zoologist." 00:13:47.260 --> 00:13:49.300 align:middle line:84% "I support my sister's interest in the source." 00:13:49.300 --> 00:13:50.740 align:middle line:90% I said. 00:13:50.740 --> 00:13:53.200 align:middle line:84% Sloan flinched every time I opened my mouth. 00:13:53.200 --> 00:13:53.980 align:middle line:90% "The source." 00:13:53.980 --> 00:13:55.960 align:middle line:90% My sister echoed. 00:13:55.960 --> 00:13:57.760 align:middle line:84% "The world has changed," said Sloan, 00:13:57.760 --> 00:14:00.220 align:middle line:84% passing a mango tartlet to me reluctantly, 00:14:00.220 --> 00:14:03.910 align:middle line:90% which I ate pronto. 00:14:03.910 --> 00:14:06.280 align:middle line:84% It was unlike my sister to need the cause, 00:14:06.280 --> 00:14:09.130 align:middle line:84% she was fine, usually, with just how things were. 00:14:09.130 --> 00:14:10.810 align:middle line:84% But she whispered to me as we roamed 00:14:10.810 --> 00:14:12.958 align:middle line:84% outside looking for clues, of which we found none. 00:14:12.958 --> 00:14:14.500 align:middle line:84% She whispered that she felt something 00:14:14.500 --> 00:14:16.300 align:middle line:84% dangerous in the unpeeling, and she 00:14:16.300 --> 00:14:18.175 align:middle line:84% felt she would have to know about it in order 00:14:18.175 --> 00:14:20.140 align:middle line:90% to sew the tigers suitably. 00:14:20.140 --> 00:14:22.450 align:middle line:84% "I'm not worried about the sewing," she said, 00:14:22.450 --> 00:14:26.560 align:middle line:84% "I'm worried about the gesture I place inside the thread." 00:14:26.560 --> 00:14:27.430 align:middle line:90% I nodded. 00:14:27.430 --> 00:14:29.050 align:middle line:90% "I'm a good fighter is all. 00:14:29.050 --> 00:14:30.610 align:middle line:84% I don't care about thread gestures, 00:14:30.610 --> 00:14:33.190 align:middle line:84% but I am very willing to throw a punch at some tiger asshole, 00:14:33.190 --> 00:14:36.190 align:middle line:90% if need be." 00:14:36.190 --> 00:14:37.790 align:middle line:84% We spent the rest of the day outside. 00:14:37.790 --> 00:14:39.460 align:middle line:84% But there were no tigers to be seen. 00:14:39.460 --> 00:14:41.442 align:middle line:84% Where they lived was somewhere far, far off. 00:14:41.442 --> 00:14:43.150 align:middle line:84% And the journey they took to arrive here, 00:14:43.150 --> 00:14:45.580 align:middle line:84% must have been the worst time in their lives ripped open 00:14:45.580 --> 00:14:48.700 align:middle line:84% like that, suddenly prey to vultures or other predators. 00:14:48.700 --> 00:14:53.020 align:middle line:84% When they were usually the ones to instill fear. 00:14:53.020 --> 00:14:54.580 align:middle line:84% We slept that night at the mansion, 00:14:54.580 --> 00:14:58.300 align:middle line:84% in feather beds so soft, I found them impossible to sleep in. 00:14:58.300 --> 00:15:00.790 align:middle line:84% Come morning, Sloan had my sister join the two women 00:15:00.790 --> 00:15:04.090 align:middle line:84% outside, and I cried again, watching the big tiger 00:15:04.090 --> 00:15:08.470 align:middle line:84% head at her feet while she sewed with her usual stillness. 00:15:08.470 --> 00:15:10.720 align:middle line:84% The three together were unusually productive, 00:15:10.720 --> 00:15:13.833 align:middle line:84% and sewn tigers piled up around them. 00:15:13.833 --> 00:15:15.250 align:middle line:84% But instead of that giddiness that 00:15:15.250 --> 00:15:17.410 align:middle line:84% showed up in the other women, my sister 00:15:17.410 --> 00:15:18.880 align:middle line:90% grew heavier that afternoon. 00:15:18.880 --> 00:15:21.730 align:middle line:84% And she said she was sure she was doing something wrong. 00:15:21.730 --> 00:15:23.890 align:middle line:84% "Oh no," said Sloan, serving us tea. 00:15:23.890 --> 00:15:25.880 align:middle line:90% "You were remarkable." 00:15:25.880 --> 00:15:27.820 align:middle line:84% "I'm missing something," said my sister. 00:15:27.820 --> 00:15:31.230 align:middle line:84% "I'm missing something important." 00:15:31.230 --> 00:15:34.158 align:middle line:84% Sloan retired for a nap, but I snuck out. 00:15:34.158 --> 00:15:36.700 align:middle line:84% I had been warned, but really they were treating me like shit 00:15:36.700 --> 00:15:38.080 align:middle line:90% anyway. 00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:40.450 align:middle line:84% I walked a long distance, but I'm a sturdy walker, 00:15:40.450 --> 00:15:41.920 align:middle line:84% and I trusted where my feet went. 00:15:41.920 --> 00:15:43.810 align:middle line:84% And I did not like the sight of my sister 00:15:43.810 --> 00:15:45.850 align:middle line:90% staring into her teacup. 00:15:45.850 --> 00:15:49.112 align:middle line:84% I did not like the feeling it gave me of worrying. 00:15:49.112 --> 00:15:51.070 align:middle line:84% Before I left, I sat her in front of the window 00:15:51.070 --> 00:15:52.690 align:middle line:90% and told her to empty herself. 00:15:52.690 --> 00:15:54.430 align:middle line:84% And her eyes were grateful, in a way 00:15:54.430 --> 00:15:56.350 align:middle line:84% I was used to feeling in my own face, 00:15:56.350 --> 00:16:00.790 align:middle line:84% but was not accustomed to seeing in hers. 00:16:00.790 --> 00:16:04.180 align:middle line:84% I walked for hours and the wet air clung to my shirt and hair. 00:16:04.180 --> 00:16:06.670 align:middle line:90% I took a nap inside some ferns. 00:16:06.670 --> 00:16:09.410 align:middle line:84% The sun was setting, and I would have walked all night. 00:16:09.410 --> 00:16:11.230 align:middle line:84% But when I reached a cluster of trees, 00:16:11.230 --> 00:16:13.430 align:middle line:90% something felt different. 00:16:13.430 --> 00:16:16.000 align:middle line:84% There was no wailing yet, but I could feel the stirring 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:19.120 align:middle line:84% before the wailing, which is almost worse. 00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:21.400 align:middle line:90% I swear I could hear the dread. 00:16:21.400 --> 00:16:23.080 align:middle line:90% I climbed up a tree, and waited. 00:16:23.080 --> 00:16:25.720 align:middle line:90% 00:16:25.720 --> 00:16:27.760 align:middle line:90% I don't know what I expected. 00:16:27.760 --> 00:16:32.380 align:middle line:84% People, I guess, people with knives cutting in. 00:16:32.380 --> 00:16:34.780 align:middle line:84% I did not expect to see the tigers themselves, 00:16:34.780 --> 00:16:38.650 align:middle line:84% jumpy, agitated, yawning their mouths beyond wide, 00:16:38.650 --> 00:16:40.060 align:middle line:90% the wildness in their eyes. 00:16:40.060 --> 00:16:42.670 align:middle line:84% And finally the yawning so large and insistent that they 00:16:42.670 --> 00:16:44.800 align:middle line:90% split their own backs in two. 00:16:44.800 --> 00:16:46.630 align:middle line:84% They all did it, one after the other, 00:16:46.630 --> 00:16:49.390 align:middle line:84% as if they wanted to pull the fur off their backs. 00:16:49.390 --> 00:16:54.040 align:middle line:84% And then amazed at what they'd done, the wailing began. 00:16:54.040 --> 00:16:56.800 align:middle line:84% One by one, they left the trees and began their slow journey 00:16:56.800 --> 00:16:58.810 align:middle line:90% to be mended. 00:16:58.810 --> 00:17:03.280 align:middle line:84% It left me with the oddest, most unsettled feeling. 00:17:03.280 --> 00:17:06.369 align:middle line:84% I walked back when it was night, under a half moon, 00:17:06.369 --> 00:17:09.790 align:middle line:84% and found my sister still at the window. 00:17:09.790 --> 00:17:11.109 align:middle line:90% "They do it to themselves." 00:17:11.109 --> 00:17:12.760 align:middle line:90% I whispered to her. 00:17:12.760 --> 00:17:16.480 align:middle line:84% And she took my hand, her face lightened. 00:17:16.480 --> 00:17:18.730 align:middle line:90% "Thank you," she said. 00:17:18.730 --> 00:17:21.369 align:middle line:84% She tried to hug me, but I pulled away. 00:17:21.369 --> 00:17:23.170 align:middle line:90% "No," I said. 00:17:23.170 --> 00:17:26.129 align:middle line:84% And in the morning I left for the airport. 00:17:26.129 --> 00:17:30.000 align:middle line:90%