WEBVTT

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Boy, well, not all of
us are here to see me.

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I was coming into
the doors and two

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of the students
who were late said

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is this were Gary
Soto's speaking?

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I said Yes.

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OK.

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I feel a bit crowded up here.

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Oh goodness.

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OK.

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Thank you all for inviting me.

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I've had a great two days
while I've been here,

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and I want to read from this,
which I read from last night.

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And I think I was a
young man here that I

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promised I would give this to.

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These are collector's
items that were

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bought for the [INAUDIBLE].

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But I just wanted to
read you something here

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that I wrote about.

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I used to work.

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Yeah.

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Is that good?

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Yeah?

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OK.

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I used to work in the fields.

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I used to I used to
work in the fields,

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and so here's what I wrote
about that since they asked me

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to read something on Mr Powell.

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Thirst was on me
from my first step

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in the field, clenched
it's fist in my stomach

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and demanded water.

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Thirst was a master
of day and night.

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It could make you wither.

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The one necessity I
had to have was water.

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Sometimes working all
day in 100 degree heat,

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I hallucinated enough water
for me to drink for a lifetime.

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Waterfalls poured
off the chili plants.

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My perspiration
spattered cropped leaves

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that morphed into ladles
glimmering with water.

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My lungs and tongue lost
their aches and time

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seemed to get lost
somewhere, to float around

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over the fields like a bird
that had nothing to do.

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As sweat dripped down my
brow and back and everything

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seemed aloft on the air
when the illusions came.

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I couldn't hear anything,
couldn't taste anything,

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couldn't see anything, and I
had no clue where I was at.

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I was put in a place
where no one else was.

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I was all alone.

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And I was happy and
pleased, and I finally

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thought I'd reach the paradise.

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I've been working
for all these days,

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working all my life
for this place,

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and it finally came to
me in this muddy field

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with fleas and flies and
wasps and all sorts of flying

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bugs biting and itching at me.

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Here it came landing
on my drenched t-shirt

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and shading my eyes for a
moment, this eternal moment

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whisking me off.

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Every nerve had a calmness I
never experienced, never even

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realized such peace
existed or was there

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because no one ever
told me about it.

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There was no tent healer
ever preached a place

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like this that came to me
when I was at my lowest,

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and I couldn't take anymore.

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I couldn't bend anymore.

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I couldn't work anymore.

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I couldn't believe
in anything anymore.

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I knew my illusions
weren't real,

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but I couldn't help
but look and stare

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and lick my lips
at the image fading

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into shimmering heat waves.

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And I'd keep on
bending, and I'd keep

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on picking as thirst
nested between my toes

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flowing up my thighs and pelvis,
clawing with a deep hunger

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and dark that ground
itself in my bones

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and gave no rest, no mercy.

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At first it made me believe I
was the worst off human being

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in the world, that no one in
the world was worse than me.

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It was that kind of
thirst, that kind

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of despair that came all
over me and didn't let me go.

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I was its prisoner,
and I belonged to it

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as if it was saying
you're going to be thirsty

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all your life, Jimmy.

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It owned me completely,
and that was how I lived.

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I worked my life around it,
made my dreams around it,

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decided on plans
around thirst, always

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kept it in front of my
eyes and in my mind.

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I never once got up
at dawn and didn't

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have to think about thirst.

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Never once did I
look at the horizon

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and not think about
thirst, and no matter

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how many glasses of
water I gulped it

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seemed to grow off each glass.

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And it became bigger and
larger always one wanting more,

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but when I was busted
along the border

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and had my freedom
taken from me,

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I never had a thirst so
fierce as my soul thirst.

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I thirst for life
as mine was being

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drained when the handcuffs were
put on in the bars were shut.

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My inflamed mouth begged
for a drop of freedom.

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Thirst for liberty, burn
in the air in my lungs,

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inching it's way
everywhere on me.

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Shriveling in every pore,
a rasp coughing in my soul,

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stinging at my throat like
scorpions maddened by a poker

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as I remembered my free life
and all the insignificant things

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like just taking a
walk, sipping coffee

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in the morning on the porch,
watching the Yuma sunrise,

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crawling around in dirt as
I designed people's gardens

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and landscaped their yards.

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It was all gone.

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And I would miss my work boots.

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My smelling leafy and
dusty after a day's work.

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I had yearned for the softness
of my girlfriends kisses,

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caressing the firm curves of
her legs when we made love.

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Her playfully
slapping my hands when

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I tried to snap her buttons.

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Catching my hands
under her blouse

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or pulling her zipper
down, she stopped me

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and then she teased
me to continue.

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Lord, I miss all that.

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