WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.960 align:middle line:90% 00:00:03.960 --> 00:00:08.837 align:middle line:84% I want to read just a couple more poems. 00:00:08.837 --> 00:00:10.920 align:middle line:84% One of them is a long one, and I've never read it. 00:00:10.920 --> 00:00:12.492 align:middle line:90% And it's a fairly-- 00:00:12.492 --> 00:00:15.090 align:middle line:84% I'll warn you, it's a pretty long poem. 00:00:15.090 --> 00:00:17.730 align:middle line:90% 00:00:17.730 --> 00:00:19.200 align:middle line:90% And it's a strange poem. 00:00:19.200 --> 00:00:22.350 align:middle line:84% But it's called "Altars Into Time." 00:00:22.350 --> 00:00:27.660 align:middle line:84% One of the things that I never, never write about, 00:00:27.660 --> 00:00:30.540 align:middle line:84% because I'm terrified about writing about it, 00:00:30.540 --> 00:00:35.520 align:middle line:84% is that I was once a Catholic priest, in a former life. 00:00:35.520 --> 00:00:41.190 align:middle line:84% And I don't know, but there's so much to say about it. 00:00:41.190 --> 00:00:45.030 align:middle line:84% And yet, I also think that-- and that was such a public thing 00:00:45.030 --> 00:00:48.330 align:middle line:84% to be a priest, and yet, I consider the act of my leaving 00:00:48.330 --> 00:00:51.150 align:middle line:84% such a private thing, which is totally ludicrous. 00:00:51.150 --> 00:00:53.700 align:middle line:90% 00:00:53.700 --> 00:00:56.040 align:middle line:90% But this is part of this poem. 00:00:56.040 --> 00:00:59.550 align:middle line:90% Again, it's part of it. 00:00:59.550 --> 00:01:05.820 align:middle line:84% But also, about being a part of a culture that's Catholic. 00:01:05.820 --> 00:01:08.700 align:middle line:84% Quite apart, also, from the question of faith, 00:01:08.700 --> 00:01:14.710 align:middle line:84% growing up in a materially Catholic culture. 00:01:14.710 --> 00:01:15.720 align:middle line:90% And I love altars. 00:01:15.720 --> 00:01:18.075 align:middle line:84% I have this really this thing with altars. 00:01:18.075 --> 00:01:19.620 align:middle line:90% I have altars in my house. 00:01:19.620 --> 00:01:21.690 align:middle line:84% I turn everything into an altar immediately. 00:01:21.690 --> 00:01:25.350 align:middle line:90% 00:01:25.350 --> 00:01:26.430 align:middle line:90% But I'm so taken with it. 00:01:26.430 --> 00:01:29.190 align:middle line:84% When I was a kid, I used to love kneeling 00:01:29.190 --> 00:01:34.200 align:middle line:84% next to my grandmother, who used to wear these lilac dresses. 00:01:34.200 --> 00:01:37.590 align:middle line:84% And she'd sit and pray to St. Joseph, who 00:01:37.590 --> 00:01:38.470 align:middle line:90% was her patron saint. 00:01:38.470 --> 00:01:41.520 align:middle line:90% 00:01:41.520 --> 00:01:46.290 align:middle line:84% She was a little overweight, and I could press my little boy 00:01:46.290 --> 00:01:47.490 align:middle line:90% body next to hers. 00:01:47.490 --> 00:01:49.980 align:middle line:84% And I felt I could just sink into it. 00:01:49.980 --> 00:01:54.000 align:middle line:84% And she was a wonderful woman, my Grandma Josefina. 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:57.240 align:middle line:84% And I remember her altars and how she used to-- well, 00:01:57.240 --> 00:01:57.750 align:middle line:90% my uncle-- 00:01:57.750 --> 00:01:58.980 align:middle line:84% I have a poem about this, but I'm not 00:01:58.980 --> 00:01:59.550 align:middle line:90% going to read it tonight. 00:01:59.550 --> 00:02:01.560 align:middle line:84% But I have an Uncle Guillermo, and he 00:02:01.560 --> 00:02:03.330 align:middle line:84% was an alcoholic-- big-time alcoholic. 00:02:03.330 --> 00:02:05.100 align:middle line:90% Would disappear for days. 00:02:05.100 --> 00:02:08.340 align:middle line:84% And when he disappeared for days on this binge, 00:02:08.340 --> 00:02:10.590 align:middle line:84% she'd get her statue of St. Joseph. 00:02:10.590 --> 00:02:12.540 align:middle line:84% And she was holding the baby Jesus. 00:02:12.540 --> 00:02:15.150 align:middle line:84% And you could remove it, so she would remove it. 00:02:15.150 --> 00:02:19.080 align:middle line:84% And she would say, now, when you give me back my son, 00:02:19.080 --> 00:02:21.990 align:middle line:90% you'll get your son back. 00:02:21.990 --> 00:02:23.430 align:middle line:90% Which I think is wonderful. 00:02:23.430 --> 00:02:26.310 align:middle line:84% Like, what a great spirituality, really. 00:02:26.310 --> 00:02:27.990 align:middle line:90% Think about it. 00:02:27.990 --> 00:02:30.840 align:middle line:84% And then when my Uncle Guille would show up, 00:02:30.840 --> 00:02:34.260 align:middle line:84% then Joseph would get Jesus back. 00:02:34.260 --> 00:02:36.780 align:middle line:84% And I was a little kid, and I thought, cool, I like it, 00:02:36.780 --> 00:02:37.500 align:middle line:90% I like it. 00:02:37.500 --> 00:02:38.790 align:middle line:90% I understood that. 00:02:38.790 --> 00:02:40.110 align:middle line:90% I understood. 00:02:40.110 --> 00:02:43.260 align:middle line:84% And really, it's very funny, but it's very moving. 00:02:43.260 --> 00:02:45.530 align:middle line:90% And I'm very moved by that-- 00:02:45.530 --> 00:02:49.260 align:middle line:90% that kind of relationship. 00:02:49.260 --> 00:02:53.490 align:middle line:84% I remember a friend of mine became a very Fundamentalist 00:02:53.490 --> 00:02:57.250 align:middle line:84% Protestant Christian, and he used 00:02:57.250 --> 00:03:00.570 align:middle line:84% to say that, you guys are idol worshippers. 00:03:00.570 --> 00:03:06.240 align:middle line:90% And I thought, well, so? 00:03:06.240 --> 00:03:07.740 align:middle line:90% You know, what's the big deal? 00:03:07.740 --> 00:03:12.275 align:middle line:90% 00:03:12.275 --> 00:03:13.650 align:middle line:84% But I want to read you this poem. 00:03:13.650 --> 00:03:18.420 align:middle line:84% And this poem is very much about all of these kinds of things 00:03:18.420 --> 00:03:21.090 align:middle line:84% that I'm talking about, in a kind of very serious way 00:03:21.090 --> 00:03:22.195 align:middle line:90% as well. 00:03:22.195 --> 00:03:23.820 align:middle line:84% And they're just in different sections, 00:03:23.820 --> 00:03:29.370 align:middle line:84% and it's kind of fragmented in a kind of post-modern way. 00:03:29.370 --> 00:03:30.210 align:middle line:90% I hate that word. 00:03:30.210 --> 00:03:34.620 align:middle line:90% 00:03:34.620 --> 00:03:37.170 align:middle line:90% "Altars Into Time." 00:03:37.170 --> 00:03:44.130 align:middle line:84% "An alien people clutching ad altare Dei. 00:03:44.130 --> 00:03:47.880 align:middle line:90% New Mexico, 1959. 00:03:47.880 --> 00:03:50.280 align:middle line:90% The sun forgave in May. 00:03:50.280 --> 00:03:52.260 align:middle line:90% The spring winds, dead. 00:03:52.260 --> 00:03:56.430 align:middle line:84% Crops, new and garden green, rising in the fields. 00:03:56.430 --> 00:04:01.290 align:middle line:84% In June, the sun would belt. A harsh father beating 00:04:01.290 --> 00:04:02.730 align:middle line:90% useless sons. 00:04:02.730 --> 00:04:06.750 align:middle line:84% In June, the sun would not forgive. 00:04:06.750 --> 00:04:10.230 align:middle line:84% Everyone guilty before the hanging judge. 00:04:10.230 --> 00:04:13.620 align:middle line:84% For now, the summer was far enough away. 00:04:13.620 --> 00:04:17.220 align:middle line:90% Today, a festival of prayer. 00:04:17.220 --> 00:04:19.950 align:middle line:90% Here, no one knows the maypole. 00:04:19.950 --> 00:04:23.340 align:middle line:84% No parades of workers clamoring for rights. 00:04:23.340 --> 00:04:27.840 align:middle line:84% Contracts, unions, strikes as alien as rain. 00:04:27.840 --> 00:04:29.550 align:middle line:90% No city streets. 00:04:29.550 --> 00:04:33.960 align:middle line:90% Here, roads are paved with dust. 00:04:33.960 --> 00:04:38.520 align:middle line:84% Old adobe homes, and hungry dogs, and outhouses. 00:04:38.520 --> 00:04:41.445 align:middle line:90% A place ignored by gringo time. 00:04:41.445 --> 00:04:44.460 align:middle line:90% 00:04:44.460 --> 00:04:46.140 align:middle line:90% Altars in Time. 00:04:46.140 --> 00:04:48.240 align:middle line:90% One. 00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:50.940 align:middle line:84% Josefina made an altar out of a wood dresser, 00:04:50.940 --> 00:04:53.640 align:middle line:84% where she kept her favorite saints. 00:04:53.640 --> 00:04:57.840 align:middle line:84% She worshipped San Jose on summer afternoons. 00:04:57.840 --> 00:05:00.270 align:middle line:84% I didn't know what her novellas meant. 00:05:00.270 --> 00:05:03.540 align:middle line:84% I was in love with leaning into her, 00:05:03.540 --> 00:05:08.040 align:middle line:84% with the sound of her voice, the feel of her soft cotton 00:05:08.040 --> 00:05:11.340 align:middle line:84% dress against my face as she prayed. 00:05:11.340 --> 00:05:15.000 align:middle line:90% She smelled of work and lilac. 00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:18.150 align:middle line:84% Teresa had statues everywhere in her house. 00:05:18.150 --> 00:05:20.940 align:middle line:84% I have a picture of her standing before the saints 00:05:20.940 --> 00:05:23.460 align:middle line:90% that she kept on her fireplace. 00:05:23.460 --> 00:05:26.250 align:middle line:84% Everything in her house was an altar. 00:05:26.250 --> 00:05:30.600 align:middle line:84% The altar in San Albino's in Mesilla is stuck in my memory 00:05:30.600 --> 00:05:34.020 align:middle line:84% like a nail that cannot be pulled from the wall. 00:05:34.020 --> 00:05:37.740 align:middle line:84% When I am in pain, I think of it. 00:05:37.740 --> 00:05:41.790 align:middle line:84% When I was a boy, watching the priest stand before the altar, 00:05:41.790 --> 00:05:46.110 align:middle line:84% wearing his heavy robes, made me feel holy. 00:05:46.110 --> 00:05:48.720 align:middle line:84% My mother keeps an altar in her bedroom. 00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:52.200 align:middle line:84% She has a big statue of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. 00:05:52.200 --> 00:05:56.940 align:middle line:84% She and my dad keep a candle lit in one of the bedrooms. 00:05:56.940 --> 00:05:59.220 align:middle line:84% It's a prayer for their children. 00:05:59.220 --> 00:06:01.440 align:middle line:84% When I made my First Communion, I 00:06:01.440 --> 00:06:06.120 align:middle line:84% was surprised that God tasted like cardboard. 00:06:06.120 --> 00:06:08.760 align:middle line:90% The taste did not matter. 00:06:08.760 --> 00:06:10.980 align:middle line:90% This was Jesus. 00:06:10.980 --> 00:06:14.440 align:middle line:84% At St. Thomas Seminary, the altar was simple. 00:06:14.440 --> 00:06:16.050 align:middle line:90% It, too, was made of wood. 00:06:16.050 --> 00:06:17.520 align:middle line:90% I read the scriptures. 00:06:17.520 --> 00:06:19.320 align:middle line:90% I studied theology. 00:06:19.320 --> 00:06:20.910 align:middle line:90% I learned words-- 00:06:20.910 --> 00:06:27.150 align:middle line:84% Christology, transubstantiation, eschatology, exegesis, 00:06:27.150 --> 00:06:28.680 align:middle line:90% hermeneutics. 00:06:28.680 --> 00:06:32.730 align:middle line:84% I read Augustine and Aquinas, the confessions, the proofs 00:06:32.730 --> 00:06:34.620 align:middle line:90% for the existence of God. 00:06:34.620 --> 00:06:38.520 align:middle line:84% When I became a priest, I stood behind the altar 00:06:38.520 --> 00:06:42.540 align:middle line:84% and lifted the host toward Heaven everyday. 00:06:42.540 --> 00:06:46.560 align:middle line:84% I have never stopped loving the mass, but the robes-- 00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:49.230 align:middle line:84% but the robes were heavy for my body. 00:06:49.230 --> 00:06:55.020 align:middle line:84% One day, no longer able to walk, I took them off. 00:06:55.020 --> 00:06:59.090 align:middle line:84% Many years later, I had a heavy dream. 00:06:59.090 --> 00:07:01.080 align:middle line:90% Chimayo was calling. 00:07:01.080 --> 00:07:04.890 align:middle line:84% I woke and built an altar in my house. 00:07:04.890 --> 00:07:09.480 align:middle line:84% I made it out of wood and burdened it with faces 00:07:09.480 --> 00:07:10.290 align:middle line:90% that I love. 00:07:10.290 --> 00:07:13.320 align:middle line:90% 00:07:13.320 --> 00:07:17.310 align:middle line:90% New Mexico, 1959. 00:07:17.310 --> 00:07:21.750 align:middle line:84% Today in this town filled with more drinkers than saints, 00:07:21.750 --> 00:07:24.540 align:middle line:84% a crowd gathers around the altar of the Virgin 00:07:24.540 --> 00:07:27.060 align:middle line:90% to pray St. Dominic's beads. 00:07:27.060 --> 00:07:29.370 align:middle line:90% Had he imagined us here? 00:07:29.370 --> 00:07:32.220 align:middle line:90% Had Dominic dreamed this future? 00:07:32.220 --> 00:07:34.920 align:middle line:84% The statue dressed in satin and blue 00:07:34.920 --> 00:07:38.160 align:middle line:84% is crowned with early yellow roses, grown 00:07:38.160 --> 00:07:39.810 align:middle line:90% in my grandmother's garden. 00:07:39.810 --> 00:07:43.170 align:middle line:84% She leads the singing, knows the Catholic hymns better 00:07:43.170 --> 00:07:45.750 align:middle line:84% than she's ever known her husband. 00:07:45.750 --> 00:07:49.080 align:middle line:84% Her old voice quivers like a dandelion's cotton 00:07:49.080 --> 00:07:50.340 align:middle line:90% in the breeze. 00:07:50.340 --> 00:07:54.360 align:middle line:84% The women follow her voice, half a step behind. 00:07:54.360 --> 00:07:59.010 align:middle line:84% The songs are old and brittle like the pages of novellas, 00:07:59.010 --> 00:08:02.670 align:middle line:90% whose words are worn with use. 00:08:02.670 --> 00:08:04.410 align:middle line:84% The clatter of the beads ring out 00:08:04.410 --> 00:08:07.830 align:middle line:84% like wooden chimes calling us to kneel. 00:08:07.830 --> 00:08:12.750 align:middle line:84% The decades-- 10 Hail Marys, one Our Father, 10 Hail Marys, one 00:08:12.750 --> 00:08:15.600 align:middle line:84% Our Father lasts forever to a boy. 00:08:15.600 --> 00:08:19.290 align:middle line:84% But the look on Mama's face, who could see me through shut eyes, 00:08:19.290 --> 00:08:22.960 align:middle line:90% tells [AUDIO OUT] 00:08:22.960 --> 00:08:25.510 align:middle line:90% How many pairs did she answer? 00:08:25.510 --> 00:08:27.580 align:middle line:84% My mother once went on a pilgrimage 00:08:27.580 --> 00:08:31.370 align:middle line:84% to the Cathedral of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City. 00:08:31.370 --> 00:08:32.120 align:middle line:90% Eat. 00:08:32.120 --> 00:08:32.620 align:middle line:90% Eat. 00:08:32.620 --> 00:08:33.970 align:middle line:90% Thou hast bread. 00:08:33.970 --> 00:08:34.630 align:middle line:90% Drink. 00:08:34.630 --> 00:08:35.140 align:middle line:90% Drink. 00:08:35.140 --> 00:08:36.429 align:middle line:90% Thou hast water. 00:08:36.429 --> 00:08:40.659 align:middle line:84% Abel offered the good fruits of his labor on an altar to God, 00:08:40.659 --> 00:08:42.580 align:middle line:90% and God was pleased. 00:08:42.580 --> 00:08:46.180 align:middle line:84% All the steam in the world could not, like the Virgin, 00:08:46.180 --> 00:08:47.920 align:middle line:90% build Chartres. 00:08:47.920 --> 00:08:51.250 align:middle line:84% I once went to mass at the Tomb of St. Peter's, 00:08:51.250 --> 00:08:53.890 align:middle line:84% beneath the main altar of the basilica. 00:08:53.890 --> 00:08:55.780 align:middle line:90% Do this in memory. 00:08:55.780 --> 00:08:58.090 align:middle line:90% At Lourdes, wooden crosses-- 00:08:58.090 --> 00:09:00.700 align:middle line:84% wooden crutches hang over the grotto. 00:09:00.700 --> 00:09:03.790 align:middle line:84% Heart of sky, heart of Earth, give us 00:09:03.790 --> 00:09:07.030 align:middle line:84% our sign, our word, as long as there is day, 00:09:07.030 --> 00:09:08.890 align:middle line:90% as long as there is light. 00:09:08.890 --> 00:09:11.560 align:middle line:84% When it comes to the sewing, the dawning, 00:09:11.560 --> 00:09:13.360 align:middle line:90% will it be a greening road? 00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:14.710 align:middle line:90% A greening path? 00:09:14.710 --> 00:09:18.010 align:middle line:84% Give us a steady light, a level place, 00:09:18.010 --> 00:09:20.710 align:middle line:90% and we will build you an altar. 00:09:20.710 --> 00:09:23.650 align:middle line:84% In Juarez, in the chapel next to the cathedral, 00:09:23.650 --> 00:09:28.810 align:middle line:84% the old people place milagros at the feet of the statues. 00:09:28.810 --> 00:09:30.850 align:middle line:90% Return our hearts. 00:09:30.850 --> 00:09:33.850 align:middle line:84% Men who've pulled themselves up by their bootstraps 00:09:33.850 --> 00:09:38.260 align:middle line:84% should remember the workers who've crafted their boots. 00:09:38.260 --> 00:09:42.310 align:middle line:84% Abraham built an altar in the desert. 00:09:42.310 --> 00:09:46.000 align:middle line:84% I refuse to accept the idea that man 00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:50.800 align:middle line:84% is mere flotsam and jetsam in the river of life, 00:09:50.800 --> 00:09:52.450 align:middle line:90% which surrounds him. 00:09:52.450 --> 00:09:57.340 align:middle line:84% I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound 00:09:57.340 --> 00:10:00.640 align:middle line:84% to the stylist midnight of racism and war 00:10:00.640 --> 00:10:03.670 align:middle line:84% that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood 00:10:03.670 --> 00:10:07.390 align:middle line:90% can never become a reality. 00:10:07.390 --> 00:10:10.420 align:middle line:84% I watched a very old man today, who 00:10:10.420 --> 00:10:13.150 align:middle line:84% was still strong enough to pick up his grandson 00:10:13.150 --> 00:10:15.460 align:middle line:90% and toss him in the air. 00:10:15.460 --> 00:10:19.750 align:middle line:84% Barbara, Larry, Karen, Linda, did I tell you? 00:10:19.750 --> 00:10:25.730 align:middle line:84% Gloria, Norman, Amy, Ricardo, Mom, Dad, did I tell you? 00:10:25.730 --> 00:10:27.580 align:middle line:90% Did I tell you all? 00:10:27.580 --> 00:10:30.220 align:middle line:90% I dreamed we built an altar. 00:10:30.220 --> 00:10:33.610 align:middle line:90% 00:10:33.610 --> 00:10:37.480 align:middle line:90% New Mexico, 1959. 00:10:37.480 --> 00:10:42.190 align:middle line:84% Every evening in May, we knelt. And after we had prayed, 00:10:42.190 --> 00:10:46.420 align:middle line:84% we stood, repeating litanies, chants, and songs 00:10:46.420 --> 00:10:49.300 align:middle line:90% that brought out all the stars. 00:10:49.300 --> 00:10:53.710 align:middle line:84% They shone like silver crosses in the sun. 00:10:53.710 --> 00:10:57.550 align:middle line:84% I could see by light of candles our nearness to tears 00:10:57.550 --> 00:10:59.740 align:middle line:90% in the eyes of all the women. 00:10:59.740 --> 00:11:02.590 align:middle line:90% But the Virgin seemed unmoved. 00:11:02.590 --> 00:11:05.740 align:middle line:84% Perhaps she did not hear us, this 00:11:05.740 --> 00:11:11.710 align:middle line:84% unschooled Spanish, sad, strange, unknown to her. 00:11:11.710 --> 00:11:16.390 align:middle line:84% Each passing day, the sun grew hot, then hotter, 00:11:16.390 --> 00:11:18.550 align:middle line:84% until, at last, the sweat streamed out 00:11:18.550 --> 00:11:20.740 align:middle line:90% of us faster than our prayers. 00:11:20.740 --> 00:11:23.170 align:middle line:84% On the final day of May, our offerings 00:11:23.170 --> 00:11:25.450 align:middle line:90% to the Queen of Heaven ended. 00:11:25.450 --> 00:11:28.300 align:middle line:84% The women, flowered like their gardens, 00:11:28.300 --> 00:11:32.770 align:middle line:84% brought out food enough to fill our stomachs twice. 00:11:32.770 --> 00:11:37.330 align:middle line:84% Empanadas, pasteles for us and our cousins. 00:11:37.330 --> 00:11:40.360 align:middle line:84% Piñatas, punch with lemons and limes. 00:11:40.360 --> 00:11:42.850 align:middle line:84% At last, free to dive in the dirt 00:11:42.850 --> 00:11:50.780 align:middle line:84% and rub away the prayers that left us stiff and clean. 00:11:50.780 --> 00:11:53.810 align:middle line:84% The food devoured, the singing done, 00:11:53.810 --> 00:11:56.960 align:middle line:84% the women stripped the Virgin of her clothes 00:11:56.960 --> 00:12:01.430 align:middle line:84% and took away her altar, an empty platform 00:12:01.430 --> 00:12:04.250 align:middle line:84% in the center of the yard and trash around it, 00:12:04.250 --> 00:12:07.070 align:middle line:84% gone the singing, gone the women, 00:12:07.070 --> 00:12:11.030 align:middle line:84% gone the whispered prayers, gone the altars of May. 00:12:11.030 --> 00:12:15.620 align:middle line:84% Tomorrow, the work of cleaning, of tending the weeded fields. 00:12:15.620 --> 00:12:17.930 align:middle line:90% Tomorrow, June. 00:12:17.930 --> 00:12:22.130 align:middle line:84% Our praying would not save us from the heat that was to come. 00:12:22.130 --> 00:12:23.825 align:middle line:90% That heat was hell. 00:12:23.825 --> 00:12:26.610 align:middle line:90% 00:12:26.610 --> 00:12:30.030 align:middle line:90% Traveling to Chimayo. 00:12:30.030 --> 00:12:34.170 align:middle line:84% Chimayo-- I travelled there one summer with a friend. 00:12:34.170 --> 00:12:37.050 align:middle line:84% Stranger to that place, but living close to Earth, 00:12:37.050 --> 00:12:40.860 align:middle line:84% he knew pilgrims never walk alone. 00:12:40.860 --> 00:12:42.330 align:middle line:90% It was sacred. 00:12:42.330 --> 00:12:45.900 align:middle line:90% Chimayo, he said the word. 00:12:45.900 --> 00:12:49.380 align:middle line:84% In the sanctuary of the church at Chimayo, 00:12:49.380 --> 00:12:51.360 align:middle line:90% there is a pit of dirt. 00:12:51.360 --> 00:12:55.980 align:middle line:84% A legend has been handed down, generation to generation, 00:12:55.980 --> 00:13:01.050 align:middle line:84% that the dirt of Chimayo has the power to heal. 00:13:01.050 --> 00:13:03.540 align:middle line:90% Chimayo, I've heard your name. 00:13:03.540 --> 00:13:07.530 align:middle line:84% I've seen your pilgrims kneel and heard them pray. 00:13:07.530 --> 00:13:11.760 align:middle line:84% I did not join my voice to theirs at Chimayo. 00:13:11.760 --> 00:13:13.290 align:middle line:90% I am ashamed. 00:13:13.290 --> 00:13:16.320 align:middle line:90% I did not pray at Chimayo. 00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:21.630 align:middle line:84% I know I will always be returning to Chimayo. 00:13:21.630 --> 00:13:24.360 align:middle line:84% I saw a father rub the miracle dirt 00:13:24.360 --> 00:13:26.460 align:middle line:90% on the thin legs of his son. 00:13:26.460 --> 00:13:30.630 align:middle line:84% The father said, the hands of God were living in the Earth. 00:13:30.630 --> 00:13:34.530 align:middle line:84% A long time, I have been traveling to Chimayo. 00:13:34.530 --> 00:13:37.950 align:middle line:84% I have heard voices tossing words at God 00:13:37.950 --> 00:13:40.350 align:middle line:84% since the rainless day at dawn, when 00:13:40.350 --> 00:13:45.180 align:middle line:84% my grandmother's stubborn hands pulled me from the womb. 00:13:45.180 --> 00:13:49.510 align:middle line:84% I once anointed a man with the oils of the dying. 00:13:49.510 --> 00:13:53.310 align:middle line:84% He was young, who lived reckless in Navarro, who took a gun, 00:13:53.310 --> 00:13:56.700 align:middle line:84% played a game with his friends as if it were a toy. 00:13:56.700 --> 00:14:00.390 align:middle line:84% A white bandage held his brains intact. 00:14:00.390 --> 00:14:02.490 align:middle line:90% His heart was pounding hard. 00:14:02.490 --> 00:14:03.690 align:middle line:90% It filled the room. 00:14:03.690 --> 00:14:07.590 align:middle line:84% Who has heard it can't forget the sound. 00:14:07.590 --> 00:14:11.070 align:middle line:90% The hearts of fist that fights. 00:14:11.070 --> 00:14:13.890 align:middle line:90% The heart is hard to kill. 00:14:13.890 --> 00:14:16.980 align:middle line:84% I sometimes wake and see the oils of the church 00:14:16.980 --> 00:14:20.370 align:middle line:90% glistening on his skin. 00:14:20.370 --> 00:14:26.340 align:middle line:84% I once watched a child take her first breath in the world. 00:14:26.340 --> 00:14:30.510 align:middle line:84% The child was once her mother, and then the baby 00:14:30.510 --> 00:14:32.670 align:middle line:90% crossed a border. 00:14:32.670 --> 00:14:36.780 align:middle line:84% When her cries hit the air and she breathed, 00:14:36.780 --> 00:14:44.070 align:middle line:84% I knew that sound, solid as the wood of any altar. 00:14:44.070 --> 00:14:49.410 align:middle line:84% I have been traveling towards these sounds all my life. 00:14:49.410 --> 00:14:51.615 align:middle line:90% The Earth is an altar. 00:14:51.615 --> 00:14:54.790 align:middle line:90% 00:14:54.790 --> 00:15:00.100 align:middle line:90% New Mexico, 1972. 00:15:00.100 --> 00:15:04.180 align:middle line:84% We learn to make the sign of the cross, dipping 00:15:04.180 --> 00:15:08.410 align:middle line:84% earth-stained hands in Catholic waters. 00:15:08.410 --> 00:15:11.860 align:middle line:84% We fill the desert with our altars. 00:15:11.860 --> 00:15:16.210 align:middle line:84% We prayed our rosaries, played them, rubbed them, 00:15:16.210 --> 00:15:21.940 align:middle line:84% clutched them, rattles in the wind, swaying back and forth. 00:15:21.940 --> 00:15:23.890 align:middle line:90% Our playground swings. 00:15:23.890 --> 00:15:26.860 align:middle line:90% We rode them toward God. 00:15:26.860 --> 00:15:29.860 align:middle line:84% Now hang them on walls or rearview 00:15:29.860 --> 00:15:34.330 align:middle line:90% mirrors of fixed up '57 trucks. 00:15:34.330 --> 00:15:37.420 align:middle line:84% Comenzamos el Padre Nuestro en español 00:15:37.420 --> 00:15:42.220 align:middle line:84% But we finished the prayer in a North American tongue. 00:15:42.220 --> 00:15:47.320 align:middle line:84% De vez en cuando we gather ourselves to baptize a child 00:15:47.320 --> 00:15:51.850 align:middle line:84% in the name of the Father, the Son, and our ancestors, 00:15:51.850 --> 00:15:54.760 align:middle line:90% who command us from the grave. 00:15:54.760 --> 00:15:59.920 align:middle line:84% We have made our way in the world, worked hard, 00:15:59.920 --> 00:16:01.870 align:middle line:90% worked hard. 00:16:01.870 --> 00:16:06.820 align:middle line:84% Now we toss money at the feet of my parents' grandchildren 00:16:06.820 --> 00:16:11.980 align:middle line:84% like pilgrims toss palms before Christ. 00:16:11.980 --> 00:16:16.030 align:middle line:84% In the sounds of our coins against the concrete, 00:16:16.030 --> 00:16:21.310 align:middle line:84% I hear novenas yellowing into dust. 00:16:21.310 --> 00:16:27.100 align:middle line:84% We try to speak of our lives purely. 00:16:27.100 --> 00:16:29.770 align:middle line:90% Our memories will not let us. 00:16:29.770 --> 00:16:33.700 align:middle line:84% We wear our culture as penetrance, 00:16:33.700 --> 00:16:36.743 align:middle line:90% wear ashes on their foreheads. 00:16:36.743 --> 00:16:37.660 align:middle line:90% Una mancha permanente. 00:16:37.660 --> 00:16:40.960 align:middle line:90% 00:16:40.960 --> 00:16:45.220 align:middle line:84% We wake in strange-streeted cities 00:16:45.220 --> 00:16:49.990 align:middle line:84% with the taste of the desert in our mouths. 00:16:49.990 --> 00:16:55.930 align:middle line:84% Because we are hungry, the taste is sweet. 00:16:55.930 --> 00:17:02.590 align:middle line:84% We are damned to live forever on a border. 00:17:02.590 --> 00:17:08.260 align:middle line:84% From here, we build our altars to our gods." 00:17:08.260 --> 00:17:13.360 align:middle line:90% 00:17:13.360 --> 00:17:16.410 align:middle line:90% [APPLAUSE] 00:17:16.410 --> 00:17:19.282 align:middle line:90%