WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.890 align:middle line:84% [APPLAUSE] He's a wonderful poet, 00:00:05.890 --> 00:00:09.690 align:middle line:84% I recommend him Cary Nelson, who is a scholar I think, 00:00:09.690 --> 00:00:11.790 align:middle line:84% believe he's at the University of Indiana, 00:00:11.790 --> 00:00:14.550 align:middle line:84% is doing a lot of work recovering working class 00:00:14.550 --> 00:00:16.120 align:middle line:90% literature in this country. 00:00:16.120 --> 00:00:17.790 align:middle line:84% And I believe that he's going to edit 00:00:17.790 --> 00:00:22.230 align:middle line:84% a book on the poems of Edwin Rolfe, so look for it. 00:00:22.230 --> 00:00:25.620 align:middle line:90% 00:00:25.620 --> 00:00:29.340 align:middle line:84% I want to begin my poetry tonight, 00:00:29.340 --> 00:00:32.670 align:middle line:84% by reading a poem that I wrote while I was at Stanford. 00:00:32.670 --> 00:00:35.460 align:middle line:84% While I was at Stanford, I had, in my life, 00:00:35.460 --> 00:00:37.230 align:middle line:84% I had the great opportunity to work 00:00:37.230 --> 00:00:41.230 align:middle line:84% with a very, very fine Chicano writer by the name of Arturo 00:00:41.230 --> 00:00:42.120 align:middle line:90% Islas. 00:00:42.120 --> 00:00:46.410 align:middle line:84% Who, a couple of years ago, died of AIDS. 00:00:46.410 --> 00:00:51.120 align:middle line:84% He was a mentor, a teacher, and a friend. 00:00:51.120 --> 00:00:58.290 align:middle line:84% And I wrote this poem, and it's really about his mother. 00:00:58.290 --> 00:01:02.470 align:middle line:84% My brother, too, died of AIDS in 1985. 00:01:02.470 --> 00:01:12.780 align:middle line:84% And I wrote this poem, watching his mother be in pain one day, 00:01:12.780 --> 00:01:14.430 align:middle line:90% right after his death. 00:01:14.430 --> 00:01:21.150 align:middle line:84% She was giving me some of his clothes in his house. 00:01:21.150 --> 00:01:24.720 align:middle line:90% Arturo, Your Mother. 00:01:24.720 --> 00:01:27.720 align:middle line:84% And his mother kept all these things in memory. 00:01:27.720 --> 00:01:33.720 align:middle line:90% 00:01:33.720 --> 00:01:39.120 align:middle line:84% She sat on the edge of your bed, her mourning hands ironing out 00:01:39.120 --> 00:01:41.970 align:middle line:90% the creases in your sheets. 00:01:41.970 --> 00:01:46.560 align:middle line:84% And endless task, so many wrinkles, Arturo. 00:01:46.560 --> 00:01:53.010 align:middle line:84% And she's still dreaming of smooth, she was born to iron. 00:01:53.010 --> 00:01:57.030 align:middle line:90% In grief, she searched the room. 00:01:57.030 --> 00:02:01.710 align:middle line:84% I disappeared and she saw you in your room again. 00:02:01.710 --> 00:02:06.450 align:middle line:84% She reached her voice quiet, quiet, 00:02:06.450 --> 00:02:10.500 align:middle line:84% listening to the fragments of your boyhood in the room, 00:02:10.500 --> 00:02:13.860 align:middle line:84% the unforgiving blade of your life cutting, 00:02:13.860 --> 00:02:16.530 align:middle line:90% and cutting, and cutting. 00:02:16.530 --> 00:02:19.410 align:middle line:84% Your death, everywhere on her face, 00:02:19.410 --> 00:02:21.780 align:middle line:84% but what did I know of her wounds. 00:02:21.780 --> 00:02:24.960 align:middle line:84% What does a childless man, what, what 00:02:24.960 --> 00:02:28.200 align:middle line:84% does he know about sons and their deaths. 00:02:28.200 --> 00:02:32.580 align:middle line:84% About first words and final breaths. 00:02:32.580 --> 00:02:37.890 align:middle line:84% On the edge of your bed, the edge, too, of her life. 00:02:37.890 --> 00:02:40.950 align:middle line:90% How many more years for her. 00:02:40.950 --> 00:02:46.260 align:middle line:84% The air she breathes is nothing but memory and grief . 00:02:46.260 --> 00:02:50.340 align:middle line:84% As she sat, she stared at your many colored coats, 00:02:50.340 --> 00:02:53.490 align:middle line:90% she wrapped them in your arms. 00:02:53.490 --> 00:03:00.300 align:middle line:84% Today, cremating him, today, he's ashes now, she says. 00:03:00.300 --> 00:03:05.700 align:middle line:84% She was bent in the wind of your death, her tears, a rain, 00:03:05.700 --> 00:03:07.530 align:middle line:90% watering your house. 00:03:07.530 --> 00:03:10.380 align:middle line:84% But they would never grow you back to life. 00:03:10.380 --> 00:03:15.630 align:middle line:84% Never, never grow you back to life. 00:03:15.630 --> 00:03:20.130 align:middle line:84% My mother, too, has worn that look, that hurt. 00:03:20.130 --> 00:03:25.380 align:middle line:84% Has lost a son, lost him to that straight and pretty angel that 00:03:25.380 --> 00:03:28.560 align:middle line:84% flicked you off this Earth, like a Lord would 00:03:28.560 --> 00:03:31.860 align:middle line:90% flick an insect off his plate. 00:03:31.860 --> 00:03:35.730 align:middle line:84% I hate, I hate that messenger of death. 00:03:35.730 --> 00:03:40.260 align:middle line:84% His heavy hand is cruel to crooked sons, and cruel, too, 00:03:40.260 --> 00:03:43.020 align:middle line:90% to those that gave them life. 00:03:43.020 --> 00:03:46.380 align:middle line:84% You'd think my mother and yours would 00:03:46.380 --> 00:03:49.890 align:middle line:84% have grown accustomed to their losses, raised 00:03:49.890 --> 00:03:54.300 align:middle line:90% to accept, accept, accept. 00:03:54.300 --> 00:03:57.190 align:middle line:84% They never cursed God and rebelled, 00:03:57.190 --> 00:04:02.610 align:middle line:84% born to bear, but never break, is that what we decided. 00:04:02.610 --> 00:04:05.100 align:middle line:84% In the midst, their son's create, 00:04:05.100 --> 00:04:08.160 align:middle line:90% they know, love, and only love. 00:04:08.160 --> 00:04:12.270 align:middle line:84% What if they hate that angel, more than any of their sons. 00:04:12.270 --> 00:04:15.640 align:middle line:90% 00:04:15.640 --> 00:04:21.930 align:middle line:84% The last time I saw you, you sat up weak in a wrinkled bed, 00:04:21.930 --> 00:04:28.710 align:middle line:84% and caught each breath of air like a pigeon begs for crumbs. 00:04:28.710 --> 00:04:32.940 align:middle line:84% Hungry for health, for words, for anything 00:04:32.940 --> 00:04:36.300 align:middle line:90% tossed in your path. 00:04:36.300 --> 00:04:40.890 align:middle line:84% I thought of your mom, you said, was thinking and thinking 00:04:40.890 --> 00:04:42.840 align:middle line:90% of her. 00:04:42.840 --> 00:04:47.265 align:middle line:84% Generous, you died thinking of the living. 00:04:47.265 --> 00:04:49.860 align:middle line:90% 00:04:49.860 --> 00:04:53.130 align:middle line:90% She gave me your coats, Arturo. 00:04:53.130 --> 00:04:57.900 align:middle line:84% I look fine in them, that's of little comfort. 00:04:57.900 --> 00:05:02.760 align:middle line:84% You did not buy them for surviving friends. 00:05:02.760 --> 00:05:07.050 align:middle line:84% I asked her for your hat, the one you bought and wore 00:05:07.050 --> 00:05:09.090 align:middle line:90% to protect you from the heat. 00:05:09.090 --> 00:05:12.840 align:middle line:84% The medicine you took turned your skin to wax, 00:05:12.840 --> 00:05:17.550 align:middle line:84% without your hat, you might have melted in the sun. 00:05:17.550 --> 00:05:20.790 align:middle line:84% That day, when you returned to ash, 00:05:20.790 --> 00:05:23.280 align:middle line:84% your mother searched your closets 00:05:23.280 --> 00:05:27.240 align:middle line:90% and gave away your clothes. 00:05:27.240 --> 00:05:31.350 align:middle line:90% In grief, she is giving life. 00:05:31.350 --> 00:05:35.250 align:middle line:84% She is pregnant with a memory of her son. 00:05:35.250 --> 00:05:40.890 align:middle line:84% She will dress and sleep in sorrow, and when she wakes, 00:05:40.890 --> 00:05:47.570 align:middle line:84% you'll be thumping, thumping, thumping in her heart. 00:05:47.570 --> 00:05:50.485 align:middle line:90%