WEBVTT

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It's only when I do
something like this do

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I realize how heavy the poems--

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unremittingly heavy-- I
hope he can bear up and--

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this is a poem
called, "Growing Up,"

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and it's in three
parallel sections.

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The first, as it's about
growing up in three--

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at three different
levels of your life.

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The first, a child,
the second, a teenager,

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probably in the third,
finding yourself stuck

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in the middle of your life.

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Each growing up brings its
own slap in the face I guess,

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"Growing Up."

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"Finally, you meet a kid who
smirks when you talk seriously,

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who punches you for nothing, and
if he's meaner than the others,

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you admire him, take him home,
and he kicks your backside

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all the way.

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In the playroom, he
grabs the patch dolls

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with their chafed cheeks
and puts his hands

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around their necks.

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Strangely, they fit.

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You wonder at this, and you
thank him if you still can.

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Finally, you find a body
softer than the others.

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When you push into her, she
contains you perfectly whole.

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And when her clear voice urges
you homeward, you name her love

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and present her to mother
who frowns triumphantly.

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She frowns back on and on
like eyes in the mirror.

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Finally, you face up
to her angry and bored

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and push into her again and
find the tongue hard and glassy,

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but not without taste.

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Finally, you find a hole
deeper than the other holes

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and with more appetite.

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You toss into it bad memories,
table surrounded by inquiring

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relatives with bad teeth.

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You toss into it good luck
charms with their greasy fur

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and wise grandparents who
knew the future and the past.

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Soon everything
tastes salty and old."

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The ground gets slippery.

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So you pull back if you
still can, horrified,

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and if you can't, you leap in
married or finally the boss.

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Worse than that, you
remain on the edge

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lying still and smiling like
the Buddha, fatter and fatter

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and the hills in the
distance perfectly arranged.

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It's not really all that bad.

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