WEBVTT

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Well, I said I would end
with something different.

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This is silly.

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Lois mentioned that I've done
this book of foul limericks

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and I don't have them with me.

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This is a book,
actually, where a man

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had done 26 drawings to go
with the alphabet, which

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are very witty drawings.

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They're very good.

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I think, you know.

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If you like that sort of thing.

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And they're the kind of porno
which doesn't show anything.

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It's the really
pornographic kind.

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Because they're totally chaste.

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Totally chaste.

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But it's all very
perverted and all.

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Well, I wrote the limericks
to illustrate his paintings.

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So I came in second on it but
I did have a great deal of fun

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in writing the limericks.

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And so when I'd
finished doing that,

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I decided to write some
surrealistic limericks.

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And I've never
read them in public

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and probably this
is the only time.

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But I thought I'd read you some.

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A frolicking leper of cheese
decided to marry his knees.

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They never depended on
painting so splendid

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as the Turk and his
chattering peas.

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You see?

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You get the idea?

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You get it?

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[LAUGHTER]

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When Angela listened
to Fred, she

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decided to suture the bread.

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For the least of the matter
was freezing the platter

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and galloping off with its head.

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Right?

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You get the plot now, right?

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Yeah.

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The goose on the
charger looked nice

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but never rely on the dice.

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When the angel flew down
and insulted the town,

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they tipped over
the manager twice.

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[LAUGHTER]

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Or, herbivorous
shepherds abscond

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with coinage that grew in
the pond to ignite the dead

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rose in Barbara's
clothes, disguised

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as a margarine blonde.

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Or, whatever the
region declared,

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the bundle just shuddered
and stared and mumbled

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a story both gentle and gory,
offending a Syrian laird.

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Despicable-- this is the
last one, then you're free--

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the despicable popsicle
horns disorder the universe,

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warns the
distinguished professor

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of greater and lesser
diminishments and other forms.

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That's all.

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I don't think I'll
go on with it, but.

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I will actually I'll
go back on my word

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and just say one
more poem right now.

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But it's not going to
take a lot of time.

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It's my shortest poem.

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It's called "Breasts."

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There is something between us.

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[APPLAUSE]

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