Well, I said I would end with something different.
This is silly.
Lois mentioned that I've done this book of foul limericks
and I don't have them with me.
This is a book, actually, where a man
had done 26 drawings to go with the alphabet, which
are very witty drawings.
They're very good.
I think, you know.
If you like that sort of thing.
And they're the kind of porno which doesn't show anything.
It's the really pornographic kind.
Because they're totally chaste.
Totally chaste.
But it's all very perverted and all.
Well, I wrote the limericks to illustrate his paintings.
So I came in second on it but I did have a great deal of fun
in writing the limericks.
And so when I'd finished doing that,
I decided to write some surrealistic limericks.
And I've never read them in public
and probably this is the only time.
But I thought I'd read you some.
A frolicking leper of cheese decided to marry his knees.
They never depended on painting so splendid
as the Turk and his chattering peas.
You see?
You get the idea?
You get it?
[LAUGHTER]
When Angela listened to Fred, she
decided to suture the bread.
For the least of the matter was freezing the platter
and galloping off with its head.
Right?
You get the plot now, right?
Yeah.
The goose on the charger looked nice
but never rely on the dice.
When the angel flew down and insulted the town,
they tipped over the manager twice.
[LAUGHTER]
Or, herbivorous shepherds abscond
with coinage that grew in the pond to ignite the dead
rose in Barbara's clothes, disguised
as a margarine blonde.
Or, whatever the region declared,
the bundle just shuddered and stared and mumbled
a story both gentle and gory, offending a Syrian laird.
Despicable-- this is the last one, then you're free--
the despicable popsicle horns disorder the universe,
warns the distinguished professor
of greater and lesser diminishments and other forms.
That's all.
I don't think I'll go on with it, but.
I will actually I'll go back on my word
and just say one more poem right now.
But it's not going to take a lot of time.
It's my shortest poem.
It's called "Breasts."
There is something between us.
[APPLAUSE]