WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.910 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.910 --> 00:00:05.504 align:middle line:84% [INAUDIBLE] I read from my father's text 00:00:05.504 --> 00:00:08.130 align:middle line:90% when he was with my mother. 00:00:08.130 --> 00:00:11.130 align:middle line:84% I can't leave him out because I said so in the poem. 00:00:11.130 --> 00:00:15.250 align:middle line:90% 00:00:15.250 --> 00:00:16.950 align:middle line:84% I haven't had time to type this up. 00:00:16.950 --> 00:00:18.480 align:middle line:90% Arizona is a very busy place. 00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:22.380 align:middle line:90% 00:00:22.380 --> 00:00:27.550 align:middle line:84% I wrote this on the bus coming from Port Angeles to Seattle, 00:00:27.550 --> 00:00:30.640 align:middle line:84% where I read the University of Washington there. 00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:37.320 align:middle line:84% This is called "3:00 AM Kitchen, My Father Talking." 00:00:37.320 --> 00:00:40.500 align:middle line:84% My father just retired this last year from his long sharing job, 00:00:40.500 --> 00:00:42.377 align:middle line:84% and he's really having a hard time 00:00:42.377 --> 00:00:43.710 align:middle line:90% knowing what to do with himself. 00:00:43.710 --> 00:00:46.320 align:middle line:84% He plays a lot of cards down at the Shut Up Tavern. 00:00:46.320 --> 00:00:49.050 align:middle line:90% But in the winter-- 00:00:49.050 --> 00:00:52.230 align:middle line:84% but for a man who's had a very physical life, 00:00:52.230 --> 00:00:54.720 align:middle line:84% it's a really hard thing, retirement. 00:00:54.720 --> 00:00:57.120 align:middle line:84% So he's been retired for about a year now. 00:00:57.120 --> 00:00:58.843 align:middle line:90% And I went up-- 00:00:58.843 --> 00:01:00.510 align:middle line:84% I went downtown to pick him up after one 00:01:00.510 --> 00:01:03.892 align:middle line:84% of these card games that lasted till 2:00 in the morning. 00:01:03.892 --> 00:01:05.850 align:middle line:84% So he sat up with me until 6:00 in the morning. 00:01:05.850 --> 00:01:07.800 align:middle line:90% We had this incredible talk. 00:01:07.800 --> 00:01:10.320 align:middle line:84% And after it, I was really, really beat. 00:01:10.320 --> 00:01:13.410 align:middle line:84% I just was emotionally wrecked too. 00:01:13.410 --> 00:01:17.860 align:middle line:84% But I wanted to try and get his voice into this poem. 00:01:17.860 --> 00:01:19.650 align:middle line:84% So it's written as though he were 00:01:19.650 --> 00:01:22.740 align:middle line:84% speaking, although, of course, it's translated by me. 00:01:22.740 --> 00:01:27.360 align:middle line:90% 00:01:27.360 --> 00:01:31.620 align:middle line:84% For years, it was land working me, oil fields, cotton fields. 00:01:31.620 --> 00:01:33.060 align:middle line:90% Then I got some land. 00:01:33.060 --> 00:01:34.080 align:middle line:90% I worked it. 00:01:34.080 --> 00:01:35.130 align:middle line:90% I was logging. 00:01:35.130 --> 00:01:38.070 align:middle line:84% Them days, you could just about make a living. 00:01:38.070 --> 00:01:39.480 align:middle line:90% Then I sent to Missoura. 00:01:39.480 --> 00:01:40.500 align:middle line:90% Mama come out. 00:01:40.500 --> 00:01:41.610 align:middle line:90% We got married. 00:01:41.610 --> 00:01:45.870 align:middle line:84% We got some kids, five kids that kept us going. 00:01:45.870 --> 00:01:48.060 align:middle line:84% We bought some land near the water. 00:01:48.060 --> 00:01:49.290 align:middle line:90% It was cheap then. 00:01:49.290 --> 00:01:51.360 align:middle line:90% The water was right there. 00:01:51.360 --> 00:01:54.030 align:middle line:90% You just looked out the window. 00:01:54.030 --> 00:01:56.640 align:middle line:90% It never left the window. 00:01:56.640 --> 00:01:59.580 align:middle line:90% I bought a boat, 14-footer. 00:01:59.580 --> 00:02:01.980 align:middle line:90% There was fish out there then. 00:02:01.980 --> 00:02:02.850 align:middle line:90% You remember. 00:02:02.850 --> 00:02:05.340 align:middle line:84% We used to catch six, eight fish, 00:02:05.340 --> 00:02:07.560 align:middle line:84% clean them right out in the yard. 00:02:07.560 --> 00:02:10.289 align:middle line:90% I could have fished to China. 00:02:10.289 --> 00:02:11.820 align:middle line:90% I quit the woods. 00:02:11.820 --> 00:02:15.780 align:middle line:84% One day, I just walked out, took off my corks, and said, 00:02:15.780 --> 00:02:16.950 align:middle line:90% that's it. 00:02:16.950 --> 00:02:18.360 align:middle line:90% I went to the docks. 00:02:18.360 --> 00:02:20.190 align:middle line:90% I was driving winch. 00:02:20.190 --> 00:02:23.460 align:middle line:84% You had to watch to see nothing fell out of the sling. 00:02:23.460 --> 00:02:27.270 align:middle line:84% If you killed somebody, you'd never forget it. 00:02:27.270 --> 00:02:29.850 align:middle line:84% All those years when I was just working, 00:02:29.850 --> 00:02:33.780 align:middle line:84% I was on edge every day just working. 00:02:33.780 --> 00:02:39.180 align:middle line:84% You kids, I could tell you a lot, but I won't. 00:02:39.180 --> 00:02:39.930 align:middle line:90% It's winter. 00:02:39.930 --> 00:02:42.550 align:middle line:84% I play a lot of cards down at the tavern. 00:02:42.550 --> 00:02:44.820 align:middle line:84% Your mother, I have to think of excuses 00:02:44.820 --> 00:02:46.560 align:middle line:90% to get out of the house. 00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:48.840 align:middle line:84% You're wasting your time, she says. 00:02:48.840 --> 00:02:51.030 align:middle line:90% You're wasting your money. 00:02:51.030 --> 00:02:53.490 align:middle line:90% You don't have no idea, Tracy. 00:02:53.490 --> 00:02:55.290 align:middle line:90% I run out of things to work for. 00:02:55.290 --> 00:02:57.120 align:middle line:84% Hell, why shouldn't I play cards? 00:02:57.120 --> 00:03:01.500 align:middle line:84% Tracy, some days now, I just don't know why I'm living. 00:03:01.500 --> 00:03:02.000 align:middle line:90%