WEBVTT

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It is not for nothing that
even Billy Collins now laments

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being called accessible at
every reading, interview,

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introduction, and award
ceremony, synonymous

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as it is with unsurprising,
bland, non-threatening--

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everything, in short, that
a good palm thwarts in order

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to mean something never
before meant in such a way

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by another human being.

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In a recent interview
with Billy Collins

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on NPR's Talk of
the Nation, the host

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of the program, Neal
Conan, asked poets

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to call in to join the
discussion of how poetry

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might increase its audience.

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About halfway into the
program, a caller, one Rick

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from Sarasota, is on the air.

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And he yells, "hey,"
boisterously and begins

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to read from his work.

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Rick from Sarasota reads
for only about a minute,

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but 70 seconds of
passionate doggerel

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on live radio in the
middle of the afternoon

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feels interminable.

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And upon the poem's conclusion,
Collins is quick to say, quote,

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"well, it's a good thing
John Milton didn't call in,"

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end quote.

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The host and Collins
share a hearty laugh

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here at the caller's expense.

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Poor Neal Conan is live on the
air and actually in stitches.

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And when Rick from Sarasota
mistakes their chuckling

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for a glowing review of
his environmental screed,

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he uses it as an
opening for more

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and begins, indeed, to
read a second poem, saying,

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"I've got more.

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I've got a whole book here."

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Collins is laughing still, but
you can hear the anxiety in it

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now.

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And then Rick from
Sarasota says, quote,

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"here's one on the tsunami."

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And he launches into it
with the same eagerness

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of his first piece.

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Finally, Collins, now
apparently fearing for his life,

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has to raise his voice,
interrupting Rick's poem,

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and says, Neal, are you there?

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And they finally cut
Rick from Sarasota

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off, citing time, of course,
and, quote, "giving somebody

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else a chance," as
though forced to explain

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what sharing means to an
overzealous child hogging

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a playground swing.

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Curiously, the title of this
episode of Talk of the Nation

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is "Collins Values Approachable
Poetry, not Pretension."

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Yet, what is this poem
that Rick from Sarasota

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has called in to recite,
if not approachable?

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Further, what are Neal Conan's
and Billy Collins's responses,

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if not pretentious?

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If pretense is the presumption
of importance and making

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an exaggerated outward
show, surely their laughter

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at this man's poem and at
Collins's exaggerated joke

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about Milton present
exactly the opposite

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of what they sought to discuss.

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In other words,
their conversation

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has drifted from approachability
directly into pretension.

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The problem here
is that it's funny.

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And in listening to this
bit over and over again,

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transcribing it for the
purposes of this discussion,

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I about fell over with laughter.

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The poem the caller
reads is terrible.

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The passion with which the
caller delivers his poem

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on national radio only
enhances its terribleness.

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In fact, sometimes we are
pretentious in the face

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of plain, old approachability.

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Why?

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Because despite their program's
efforts to prove otherwise,

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approachability
is often tedious,

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full of expected turns
and unsurprising language.

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In this case, it's didactic,
redundant, and poorly measured

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to boot.

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But aren't they pitiless,
then, for laughing

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at a novice poet calling
up in earnest support

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of their very topic?

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Yes, they are, and so am
I for laughing with them.

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Actually, I'm OK
with that, so long

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as I don't have to pretend
to enjoy bad poetry just

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because it's accessible and that
a fifth grader can understand

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it.

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I love the idea of
children's poetry,

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but not all poetry needs to
please these young hearts.

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Indeed, not all movies should
be made for a PG audience,

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and not all symphonies should
be three minutes or less

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to suit the markets of
the radio, if any remain.

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And anyhow, nobody more than
Kenneth Koch has shown us

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that a poem by a nine-year-old
is often far more fascinating

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than those written by adults,
unconcerned as youngsters

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often are with what a
poem should sound like.

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Of course, there's
nothing wrong with writing

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about asteroids or the Dust
Bowl for a popular audience.

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In fact, I'm glad for it,
but that should hardly

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be an imperative to all
scientists and historians.

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Lest you think I'm
saying otherwise,

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allow me to assure you I am a
selfish, complicated person,

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and I want a poetry far more
sophisticated, imaginative,

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and contradictory than I am.

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I don't need to see myself
reflected in a poem.

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If I wanted that, I would sit
around reading my own poems

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to myself, which,
occasionally, I do.

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Jarrell put it like this.

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Quote, "which
patronizes and degrades

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the reader, the "Divine Comedy,"
with its four levels of meaning

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or the Reader's Digest,
with its one level

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so low that it seems not a
level, but an abyss into which

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the reader can sense to sink?

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The writer's real dishonesty
is to give an easy paraphrase

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of the hard truth," unquote.

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Actually, here is where I
agree with Billy Collins, when

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he says, quote, "once the
reader gets into the poem,

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I'm hoping that less accessible
things start happening,

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as the reader is moved into
worlds that are a little more

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challenging, a little more
hypothetical, and a little more

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mysterious," unquote.

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Even for Billy Collins, I'm sort
of stunned to say, I'll admit,

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accessibility itself is really
just a ruse, a Trojan horse

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to get to the more complicated
activities of the poem.

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In fact, this call for
accessibility in poetry

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is a ruse, itself, to prevent
us from encountering language

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that might alter us.

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For John Yau, saying,
quote, "saying

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that poetry is inaccessible
is just a comment

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on your own laziness," unquote.

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I think it's true, but I reckon
it's worse than mere laziness.

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Nothing reeks of maintaining the
status quo as much as this call

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for poets to be accessible.

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My favorite recent
response about this

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is from an interview
with Philip Levine,

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after he was named Poet
Laureate last year.

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The interviewer, Andrew
Goldman, asks, quote,

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"I wonder if you agree with
John Barr, the president

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of the Poetry Foundation, who,
with the help of a $200 million

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endowment, has been trying
to popularize poetry

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by encouraging poets to
write more upbeat poems."

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And Levine responds,
quote, "hell no."

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I can't believe
this guy, Barr, is

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a poet, because I don't
think a real poet would

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think in that way.

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When a poem comes
to you, you're not

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going to say, oh, no
this goddamn poem is just

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too mean-spirited.

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You're going to run
with it," unquote.

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