And now, the Cannon poem.
I don't think you'll find it particularly funny.
What it consists of, structurally,
is a list of scenes that, for one reason or another
stuck in my head.
Maybe you'll recognize some of them also.
But it ends in a similar way that many
of Cannon's shows, programs end-- as his program ended
last night.
Usually, although this didn't happen last night.
Usually he's back at his apartment
whipping up some fantastic meal.
Sniffing the spaghetti, and another element to that
ending scene.
There always are, or is, there always
is a beautiful woman in the room with him.
Now, I find this interesting because women
seem to react to Cannon as if you were a father figure.
There's never any sexual danger implied.
When they kiss him, they kiss him on his bald forehead.
So apparently, according to the show,
women are attracted to him, but not for sexual reasons.
It makes a very safe relationship, doesn't it.
Even fat men can be beautiful, though he
skips like a bird fed on garbage,
on thin legs down the beach clutching his toy gun.
Or stands in the quarry with a prostitute on his arm trying
to save her reputation as a teacher, calling,
Charlie, Charlie, all night long at the guardian moon,
puzzled over the brambles outside Los Angeles.
Where in another day, there were his targets.
Perfect tin foil images of himself that popped up,
and the criminals slaughtered one-by-one
going mad with turning.
Like all of us, he loves animals,
but when the lion appears a revelation around the corner,
the drugs sewn under his skin.
What else can he do but feel real fear.
His toes curl and he yells, back, in one black word.
Like a father and fires the puny pistol into the air in
hopes that someone will hear.
But that is soon over.
The bad dream of which all good things are made.
And though he is back in his apartment,
slobbering over spring squash and pino chardonnay,
Don's favorite beans, or Swiss cream steak.
While he tests the spaghetti, one eyebrow
raised like God over his creation,
though the sauce makes a stain down his middle, that's part
of the scene for salvation.
And at that moment, dogs bark, grandmothers applaud,
and the girls come running toward him
like pinwheels attracted to words, fearing no harm.