WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.700 align:middle line:90% 00:00:00.700 --> 00:00:05.770 align:middle line:84% Another cowboy kind of poem begins with two lines 00:00:05.770 --> 00:00:08.080 align:middle line:84% that I stole from the Mary Tyler Moore Show. 00:00:08.080 --> 00:00:11.930 align:middle line:84% Despite the article in this morning's Wildcat-- 00:00:11.930 --> 00:00:14.830 align:middle line:84% which was, I thought very flattering article, 00:00:14.830 --> 00:00:16.180 align:middle line:90% I appreciate it-- 00:00:16.180 --> 00:00:18.370 align:middle line:90% I do watch some television. 00:00:18.370 --> 00:00:20.350 align:middle line:84% Only the best of television, however. 00:00:20.350 --> 00:00:23.710 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:23.710 --> 00:00:26.590 align:middle line:90% 00:00:26.590 --> 00:00:28.600 align:middle line:84% Top of my list is Mary Tyler Moore. 00:00:28.600 --> 00:00:31.252 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:31.252 --> 00:00:32.140 align:middle line:90% 00:00:32.140 --> 00:00:38.290 align:middle line:84% And the second place is a tie between Bob Newhart and Cannon. 00:00:38.290 --> 00:00:40.413 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:40.413 --> 00:00:41.830 align:middle line:84% And what I really don't understand 00:00:41.830 --> 00:00:45.700 align:middle line:84% is why people laugh, because must have known these people 00:00:45.700 --> 00:00:48.250 align:middle line:90% in the past life or something. 00:00:48.250 --> 00:00:50.290 align:middle line:84% I have, later on, a poem about Cannon 00:00:50.290 --> 00:00:52.180 align:middle line:90% which I'd like to read also. 00:00:52.180 --> 00:00:55.310 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:00:55.310 --> 00:00:57.800 align:middle line:84% Well, anyway, I can't explain the whole plot of the show, 00:00:57.800 --> 00:00:58.820 align:middle line:90% and it wasn't necessary. 00:00:58.820 --> 00:01:01.700 align:middle line:84% But about a year or six months ago, 00:01:01.700 --> 00:01:03.530 align:middle line:84% somebody in the Mary Tyler Moore Show, 00:01:03.530 --> 00:01:06.080 align:middle line:84% I think it was Mary herself, said-- 00:01:06.080 --> 00:01:08.240 align:middle line:84% they were talking about having a dinner for someone 00:01:08.240 --> 00:01:09.980 align:middle line:84% and what they'd put on the table. 00:01:09.980 --> 00:01:13.730 align:middle line:84% And Mary said, "But who would want silver on the table?" 00:01:13.730 --> 00:01:18.680 align:middle line:84% And Lou Grant, the guy with the big gut, he responded, 00:01:18.680 --> 00:01:20.467 align:middle line:90% "The Lone Ranger wouldn't." 00:01:20.467 --> 00:01:23.270 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:23.270 --> 00:01:31.983 align:middle line:84% And so those are the first two lines of the poem. 00:01:31.983 --> 00:01:34.400 align:middle line:84% And I tell them now so you can get the laughs out of you-- 00:01:34.400 --> 00:01:36.500 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:01:36.500 --> 00:01:39.980 align:middle line:84% --and I can proceed with the poem. 00:01:39.980 --> 00:01:42.650 align:middle line:84% Actually, it's a kind of a collection of details 00:01:42.650 --> 00:01:45.440 align:middle line:84% of the Lone Ranger, those of you who are my generation 00:01:45.440 --> 00:01:51.110 align:middle line:84% probably remember listening to them on Friday night, 7:30. 00:01:51.110 --> 00:01:53.570 align:middle line:84% And it's a list of details, some of which you'll recognize, 00:01:53.570 --> 00:01:58.320 align:middle line:84% others of which that I've added from my imagination. 00:01:58.320 --> 00:01:59.790 align:middle line:90% It's called "Silver." 00:01:59.790 --> 00:02:06.168 align:middle line:84% And to give you a hint, Tonto appears toward the end. 00:02:06.168 --> 00:02:07.590 align:middle line:90% [LAUGHTER] 00:02:07.590 --> 00:02:10.470 align:middle line:90% "Silver. 00:02:10.470 --> 00:02:13.800 align:middle line:84% Who would want silver on the table? 00:02:13.800 --> 00:02:16.200 align:middle line:90% The Lone Ranger wouldn't. 00:02:16.200 --> 00:02:19.230 align:middle line:84% He would send them down the hill to the corral 00:02:19.230 --> 00:02:22.080 align:middle line:84% to help the wild pigs break apart the blocks of hay 00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:23.730 align:middle line:90% with their noses. 00:02:23.730 --> 00:02:27.600 align:middle line:84% Paw into them for the china with its willow eaten to a lace 00:02:27.600 --> 00:02:29.720 align:middle line:90% by the bridge. 00:02:29.720 --> 00:02:31.310 align:middle line:84% Sitting on a hill with his napkin 00:02:31.310 --> 00:02:35.390 align:middle line:84% spread on the curve of the Earth, troubled by the wind. 00:02:35.390 --> 00:02:37.760 align:middle line:84% He might think that it would blow the crumbs away 00:02:37.760 --> 00:02:39.710 align:middle line:90% all at once in a gust. 00:02:39.710 --> 00:02:42.920 align:middle line:84% A shining fist that dipped over the badlands. 00:02:42.920 --> 00:02:44.990 align:middle line:84% Along the contours of the prairie, 00:02:44.990 --> 00:02:48.590 align:middle line:84% rushed into the cave like a blast salting it. 00:02:48.590 --> 00:02:52.340 align:middle line:84% So that arriving days later in need of ammunition, 00:02:52.340 --> 00:02:55.280 align:middle line:84% pursued by the fat sheriff with twisted logic 00:02:55.280 --> 00:02:56.780 align:middle line:90% who loves his children. 00:02:56.780 --> 00:03:00.590 align:middle line:84% The priest shuffles out ashamed, hands spread, and says, 00:03:00.590 --> 00:03:01.760 align:middle line:90% there isn't any. 00:03:01.760 --> 00:03:05.360 align:middle line:84% That at night, he heard the glowing, perpetual vein leap 00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:09.680 align:middle line:84% out of its crib, fly like a mad patient down the Nehring Tunnel 00:03:09.680 --> 00:03:12.350 align:middle line:84% to the lake, deep in the source of the Earth where 00:03:12.350 --> 00:03:14.550 align:middle line:90% no man can fit. 00:03:14.550 --> 00:03:17.910 align:middle line:84% For the women, he keeps his burnt, flint jaw scraped 00:03:17.910 --> 00:03:20.010 align:middle line:90% fleet-free of sweat. 00:03:20.010 --> 00:03:24.420 align:middle line:84% And that is why, approaching gutted or abandoned houses, 00:03:24.420 --> 00:03:26.940 align:middle line:84% he treads like a boy having forgotten 00:03:26.940 --> 00:03:29.040 align:middle line:90% he once stole apples there. 00:03:29.040 --> 00:03:31.800 align:middle line:84% Confident in the charm of the invisible horse 00:03:31.800 --> 00:03:33.330 align:middle line:90% between his legs. 00:03:33.330 --> 00:03:36.630 align:middle line:84% Ready to spin them off at the touch of a spur. 00:03:36.630 --> 00:03:39.330 align:middle line:84% Turns away at the croaking of a coyote. 00:03:39.330 --> 00:03:41.970 align:middle line:84% His friend with his hand over his mouth 00:03:41.970 --> 00:03:44.220 align:middle line:90% behind the charred banisters. 00:03:44.220 --> 00:03:48.900 align:middle line:84% [INAUDIBLE] rides over to the widow's place, wad of dry algae 00:03:48.900 --> 00:03:51.390 align:middle line:84% that lurches toward him from her shack, 00:03:51.390 --> 00:03:55.620 align:middle line:84% arms spread, white hair wild around the sun of her face, 00:03:55.620 --> 00:04:00.770 align:middle line:84% bathes his wounds, serves him marmalade. 00:04:00.770 --> 00:04:02.830 align:middle line:90% Marmalade?" 00:04:02.830 --> 00:04:04.036 align:middle line:90%