WEBVTT

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OK, I just read two poems,
like 1 and 1/2 poem,

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and then I'll be done.

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So the first, this one is
called "Morning Commute,"

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and this is my Emily
Dickinson poem.

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So this is a poem where
like, the mother is

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singing-- this is a duet, I'm
going to sing with myself.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm almost done.

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This will be over like,
less than five minutes.

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So the mother is the alto, and
so she sings this nice bosomy

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voice.

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And she's sort of an Emily
Dickinson character singing

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an Emily Dickinson poem.

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And then the son
breaks, and he's

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like, he's like the misfit.

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He's like crazy, ready
to kill kind of dude.

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He's like the misfit
from Flannery O'Connor.

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So and he sings like a
fake Johnny Cash song.

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So just put up with
it, it's almost done

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and then we can congratulate
Zach and be on our way.

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[LAUGHTER]

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"Morning Commute," so
Mother Alto says this.

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(SINGING) I've known her
from an ample nation.

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Choose one then close the valves
of her attention like stone.

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And the son says, (SINGING)
well, I told that big river

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how to cry and I
show that 18-wheeler

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how to daisy chain a knife.

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I want to tell that ample busted
nation sister just choose one.

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I'm going to show that
senior discount how to cry.

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Well, I showed that
burger flipper how to cry.

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And I showed that Dodge Corona
had a crumple up and die.

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I show the IC unit monitor
how to hide it vital signs.

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And I showed that
garbage eater how to cry.

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I've known her from an
ample nation --Cry, cry cry.

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And closed the valves
of her attention.

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Cry, cry, cry.

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I've known her from
an ample nation.

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Sister, just choose one.

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Then close the valves of her
attention, have some fun.

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I'm going to wet the
LA River with my tears.

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I'm going to pour my Gatorade
into its concrete cracks.

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I'm going to mustard
down it's hot dog

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I'm gonna salivate it's lack.

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I gonna wet that LA
River with my tears.

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Well, I've known from
an ample nation--

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Get wet close the valves
of her attention--

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big dead.

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We [INAUDIBLE] with a
tank strapped to my back,

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I'm going to liquidate the ants.

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They're going to drink that
poison mist until they dance.

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Well, I showed that
burger flipper how to cry.

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The driver's side
door of the Dodge

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Corona how to
crumple up and die.

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With my very own blistering
ray, I turned the night all in

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to day.

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When I stopped that store
to pollinate the aisles.

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Well, I showed that
CC camera how to cry.

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And I showed that nighttime
manager had a lay down and die.

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With this little old
papery hat, his eyes

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were just rolling back.

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And I showed the anchors
hairdo had a crack.

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Well, I shot that traffic
chopper from the sky.

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I showed the dead commuter
how to drive, drive, drive.

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In a big old lazy eight, as
the cloverleaf blasted away.

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I showed the gas slicked asphalt
how do you rise and shine.

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And then the very last
thing I'll read for you

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is called the "Bad Apple."

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Because when
everything really goes

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bad on the part of
our military, we're

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told that was just a
Bad Apple acting alone.

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So this is a poem
for the "Bad Apple."

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And she, the bad apple
is holding a leash.

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Probably, you think
of Lynndie England.

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And this is what she says.

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She doesn't sing.

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This is my last thing.

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So thank you.

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Bad apple.

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I acted alone, I
spoiled the bunch.

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I acted alone to
spoil the bunch.

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To spoil the bunch,
I had to act alone.

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I acted alone on
behalf of my crew.

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Like an abalone diver,
I sunk down low.

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I held my breath, I
touched the Pearl.

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I came up wet and I acted alone.

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I acted low, I acted alone.

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I acted low.

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I acted alone.

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I acted low.

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I acted alone.

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I acted alone like a CEO.

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Thank you.

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[APPLAUSE]

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