WEBVTT

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For something that's
a little bit lighter,

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a great story from
my partner's life,

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my deceased
partner's life, which

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is self-explanatory except
that his parents' names.

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His parents were
Holocaust survivors,

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their names were
Kathy and Fred Rose.

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And he was the
only child, and you

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may imagine the
burdens of growing up

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is the only child of
Holocaust survivors.

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But this was a particularly
funny and resonant story,

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I think.

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Kathy and Fred had been
in America several years

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when the West German government
began to pay reparations

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to Jews who had lost family
and property in the Holocaust.

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Partly with the
help of this money,

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they rented space and opened
a small department store.

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Eventually, in the way of
so many American immigrants,

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they bought the
store then rented it

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to a family of Vietnamese,
another of this country's

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refugees from distant wars.

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They took care to
immerse Larry in all

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they perceive to be American,
good immigrants that they

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were, especially the glitz and
glamour of nearby Hollywood.

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So it came to pass that
he was standing with Kathy

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at the back of a crowded
television studio, for what he

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later told me was the first
filming of the Lucy Show, July

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19th 1962.

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And his neat rounded hand
Larry, he of the eidetic memory,

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noted the date in the brown
leatherette autograph book

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that I found among
his effects, and that

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sits before me as I write.

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The studio lights
dimmed, Lucy's mother

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swept through the
audience followed

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by a retinue of relatives,
friends, groupies.

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13-year-old Larry
stepped forward to thrust

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out his autograph book.

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Flattered, Mrs. Ball, Desiree to
you, waved Larry and his mother

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to the front.

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As she ushered them
into first row seats,

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she leaned over to
whisper in Larry's ear,

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it's not what you know, it's who
you know, she said and winked.

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The band struck up the theme.

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For the next several
years, with a faithfulness

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that in my thoroughly
Catholic childhood

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was reserved for the affairs
of God, Larry and his mother

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attended the Lucy Shows
every filming, seated

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at the right hand
of Desiree Ball.

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Around the studio lights,
Larry encountered the stars

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of the day, and soon
he approached them

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with his brown leatherette
autograph book.

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Who could resist the entreaty
of this impeccably well-mannered

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boy, accompanied by an
evidently displaced mother still

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struggling with her w's.

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Not judging from Larry's
autograph book, Maurice

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Chevalier, a Gallic flourish
underscores a florid execution.

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Dick Van Dyke, J. North,
Dennis the Menace,

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Sammy Davis Jr. the
pan all over the page.

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Jack Benny, a pinched
parsimonious hand.

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Clint Eastwood,
uncertain of his fame,

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he takes care to append
his TV name, Rowdy.

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[LAUGHTER]

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And of course, there were the
Lucy Show players as well as

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assorted hangers on.

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Ella Fitzgerald, Hedda
Hopper, Natalie Wood,

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unaware of her watery
fate, Count Basie,

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Lorna, Judy Garland's daughter,
and Larry's careful note.

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Juliet Ashanti,
Miss Brazil 1962.

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Attending the
international beauty

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Congress at 13 years
old, what was Larry

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doing at the international
beauty Congress?

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[LAUGHTER]

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Pier Salinger, Pat Brown, Zubin
Mehta, whom Larry surprised,

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he told me, post performance
in his dressing room

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shirtless and
dripping with sweat.

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As I page through the
book, snapshots fall out.

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Larry on a red letter day at
the Santa Anita racetrack,

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posed at the side of Allen
Ludden and Southern and Eve

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Arden, to piece avocado green
suit, Buster Brown collar,

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sunglasses removed
for the photo.

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Clipped to the
snapshots, a tomato sauce

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stained cocktail napkin
with Pearl Bailey signature

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scrawled across the corner.

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A relic of Larry's days of
haunting the Brown Derby, where

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he and his mother badgered the
Maitre d' into seating them

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near the rich and famous, or
the less prosperous and lesser

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known.

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Who is Wilbur Hedge, Minor
Martinez, Ziva Rodann,

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Perc Westmore, and now courtesy
of my audience and fans

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know who all those people
are, and can tell you.

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Perc Westmore
actually was-- there

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was a family of five
Westmore brothers, all gay,

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so far as I can tell.

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They were all makeup
artists in Hollywood.

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And Perc was the best known
of these makeup artists

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and was called upon by--

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The way I found out about it was
that I was reading a Gore Vidal

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piece in the New Yorker.

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And Vidal talked about how
he went to visit Greta Garbo,

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and he admired her eyeshadow,
and she said, Oh, Perc Westmore

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created it for me.

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And I thought, Perc
Westmore, where

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have I seen that name before.

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And it was the clue that
enabled me to find out

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who the Westmore brothers were.

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Larry, a polite boy, evidently
requested all the signatures

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at the table, however, he
might only want miss Bailey's.

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Immortality comes easy
to the lunch companions

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of the big time stars.

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Not that he limited
his autograph grubbing

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to the Brown Derby and
the Desiree back lots.

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20th April, 1960, I am commanded
by the queen to write and thank

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you for your letter, and for
the congratulations which

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you have sent to Her Majesty
on the birth of her baby.

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I have to explain to you that
owing to her Majesty's rules

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in these matters, the queen
does not send autographs

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to people with whom she is not
already personally acquainted,

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Susan Massey, lady in waiting.

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[LAUGHTER]

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16th November, 1961, I have
received the Queen's command

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to thank you most
sincerely for your kind

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message of good wishes
to the Prince of Wales

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on the occasion of his
Royal Highness birthday,

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Susan Massey, lady in waiting.

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25th April, 1962.

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The queen has commanded
me to thank you

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for the message of good wishes
which you have so kindly sent

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on the occasion of her Majesty's
birthday, Susan Massey, lady

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in waiting.

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There are probably two dozen of
these notes, each slightly more

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brusque than its
predecessor, most

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under the signature of
the patient, Susan Massey.

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Larry was nothing
if not persistent.

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All but one of his famous
addresses and canned responses

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cranked out and signed by
flunkies, Herbert Hoover,

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Jacqueline Kennedy on the
occasion of her son's birth,

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Robert Kennedy, Eugene
McCarthy, Jacqueline Kennedy

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on the occasion of her
miscarriage, Pope John 23rd,

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Jacqueline Kennedy on the
occasion of her husband's

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assassination.

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None of these notes was
signed by the real McCoy.

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But in an era before computers
or photocopy machines,

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each is flawlessly
manually typed.

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The image comes helplessly
to mind, 1,000 Susan Masseys,

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and 1,000 Smith
Corona typewriters,

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banging out kind
notes of rejection

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to a world of 13-year-olds,
seeking an authentically signed

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note from the queen,
from the Pope,

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from Jackie on the occasion
of her various misfortunes.

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Chaff and more
chaff, until buried

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in this haystack of chaff I
find the needle, the payoff

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of Larry's persistence.

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Amid this flood of form letters,
arrived a personal response

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written on personal
stationery from a man

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of the old school, a
Frenchman of course,

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bound by duty and manners.

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Who understood that all
personal correspondence

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is to be answered personally.

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And so in response
to Larry's sympathies

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on the occasion of his
gallbladder surgery,

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writing in his own hand
from his office as president

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de La Republique, the Republique
where 26 years later Larry

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will greet his death.

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30 avril, 1964.

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Très sensible à
votre aimable pensée.

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Je vous en remercie
de tout coeur.

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Charles de Gaulle.

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30th April, 1964.

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I'm touched by
your kind thoughts,

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I send my warmest thanks,
Charles de Gaulle.

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So it says something
wonderful, I

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think, about the
workings of power that--

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and if you know anything of
Charles de Gaulle's history.

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That he went from
this place of being

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the center, really, of
the attention of the West,

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to being a man who was very
much sidelined and who had,

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what can we say, time to
write letters back to people--

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13-year-olds who
were sending him

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notes about his
gallbladder surgery.

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