WEBVTT

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This next one,
there's a lot of--

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my husband's an artist, and
I love stealing from artists.

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We were talking about
stealing earlier today,

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and this one second
is actually inspired

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by this video artist Walid Raad,
who you should all check out.

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"Of the Millennial
Promenade Along the River."

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"Vendors line the promenade
to serve passersby.

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They sell pinwheels, pancakes,
and roast meats of all kinds,

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even sticks of prickly
little seahorses.

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One female vendor keeps
peeled apples under her armpit

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until they are saturated
with her scent,

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and then she sells
them so customers

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can luxuriate in both the scent
of fruit and her ripeness.

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Along the promenade,
the rabble is enraptured

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by the new tower
across the river,

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but the vendors grumble
of slow business.

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Officials installed cameras
behind the vendors' umbrella

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fringes to catch conspirators.

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Today, there is no drama,
so the vendors gossip.

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It is true that the fried prawn
vendor tilted his surveillance

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camera so it caught
nothing but the sun.

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Officials executed
him after they

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watched the useless footage of a
sun bobbing up and down for 100

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days.

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Why did he do such
a stupid thing?

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He was a saboteur, said one.

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We should all
destroy the cameras.

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Everyone knows about them,
and it takes away business.

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Said a third, it was
for personal reasons.

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He was stupid in love, and his
lover walked out on him for--

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and the vendors stopped
short, for the cameras

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were recording."

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"Of the Old Colonial
Dutch Quarters."

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"When I imagine this
city, it is not the city

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that I want but the
city that I fear.

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But I, too, have an obsession.

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He is one of the painters who
works in the Rembrandt factory.

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He paints five Rembrandt
self-portrait paintings a day,

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which I hear are sold to
rich townhouses and hotels

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in a place called Florida.

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He is renowned as the
fastest painter in Shangdu,

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and he has completed 10,000
Rembrandt self-portraits.

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In the mornings, I walk past him
when he is on his smoke break.

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Today, I catch him
sniffing his hand."

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