WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.110 align:middle line:90%


00:00:01.110 --> 00:00:01.927 align:middle line:90%
I'll read one more.

00:00:01.927 --> 00:00:02.760 align:middle line:90%
Let's see the title.

00:00:02.760 --> 00:00:04.260 align:middle line:90%


00:00:04.260 --> 00:00:05.620 align:middle line:90%
Second page.

00:00:05.620 --> 00:00:06.810 align:middle line:90%
Tenth page please.

00:00:06.810 --> 00:00:14.410 align:middle line:90%


00:00:14.410 --> 00:00:15.990 align:middle line:90%
I'll read one more.

00:00:15.990 --> 00:00:17.710 align:middle line:90%
It'll be on page 74.

00:00:17.710 --> 00:00:22.240 align:middle line:84%
Before I finish this poem,
again, thank you guys.

00:00:22.240 --> 00:00:23.440 align:middle line:90%
It's been great to be here.

00:00:23.440 --> 00:00:26.500 align:middle line:90%


00:00:26.500 --> 00:00:28.610 align:middle line:84%
I enjoyed waking up
to 80 degrees today.

00:00:28.610 --> 00:00:31.180 align:middle line:84%
So it was very
nice, so thank you

00:00:31.180 --> 00:00:33.760 align:middle line:90%
for pulling that out for me.

00:00:33.760 --> 00:00:35.980 align:middle line:90%
You're very personable that way.

00:00:35.980 --> 00:00:37.772 align:middle line:90%
And I love monsters.

00:00:37.772 --> 00:00:39.730 align:middle line:84%
I think you're picking
that up when I'm talking

00:00:39.730 --> 00:00:41.920 align:middle line:90%
about Godzilla and whatnot.

00:00:41.920 --> 00:00:47.200 align:middle line:84%
I love monsters, and zombies
have made a big comeback,

00:00:47.200 --> 00:00:48.190 align:middle line:90%
right?

00:00:48.190 --> 00:00:50.350 align:middle line:84%
But how are zombies different
than the old zombies,

00:00:50.350 --> 00:00:52.000 align:middle line:90%
the classic zombies?

00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:55.300 align:middle line:84%
The modern zombie is what--
how would you describe it?

00:00:55.300 --> 00:00:56.320 align:middle line:90%
They're faster.

00:00:56.320 --> 00:00:58.000 align:middle line:90%
They're fast.

00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:01.000 align:middle line:84%
They're like Olympic
sprinters, right.

00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:03.007 align:middle line:84%
And so I've never been
able to decide if that's

00:01:03.007 --> 00:01:04.090 align:middle line:90%
a good thing or bad thing.

00:01:04.090 --> 00:01:06.880 align:middle line:84%
Because if you think about
it, that slow zombie,

00:01:06.880 --> 00:01:09.610 align:middle line:84%
it's like the least
threatening thing ever.

00:01:09.610 --> 00:01:11.997 align:middle line:84%
Yes, it'll eat your face off
and chew your brains out,

00:01:11.997 --> 00:01:14.080 align:middle line:84%
but if you just sort of
like walk at a brisk pace,

00:01:14.080 --> 00:01:16.820 align:middle line:90%
you should be fine.

00:01:16.820 --> 00:01:19.480 align:middle line:84%
And so I think that's why the
modern zombie runs nine zillion

00:01:19.480 --> 00:01:20.867 align:middle line:90%
miles an hour.

00:01:20.867 --> 00:01:22.450 align:middle line:84%
But there's still
something unsettling

00:01:22.450 --> 00:01:24.400 align:middle line:84%
about that slow,
implacable zombie,

00:01:24.400 --> 00:01:26.260 align:middle line:84%
and I think that's
where it gets its power.

00:01:26.260 --> 00:01:28.600 align:middle line:84%
But I realized at some
point that zombie was really

00:01:28.600 --> 00:01:30.530 align:middle line:90%
kind of never coming back.

00:01:30.530 --> 00:01:32.620 align:middle line:84%
And one day I was having
some lunch with friends

00:01:32.620 --> 00:01:36.860 align:middle line:84%
and we were eating-- you guys
have Chick-fil-A out here?

00:01:36.860 --> 00:01:38.860 align:middle line:84%
So we're having lunch at
Chick-fil-A. Well, they

00:01:38.860 --> 00:01:39.790 align:middle line:84%
were having
Chick-fil-A. I was just

00:01:39.790 --> 00:01:41.200 align:middle line:90%
kind of sitting, hanging out.

00:01:41.200 --> 00:01:44.530 align:middle line:84%
And we were getting into
the same discussion,

00:01:44.530 --> 00:01:47.240 align:middle line:84%
and I had this moment
where you suddenly realize,

00:01:47.240 --> 00:01:48.687 align:middle line:90%
that this is a poem.

00:01:48.687 --> 00:01:50.770 align:middle line:84%
And so I'm like, guys,
enjoy your chicken nuggets,

00:01:50.770 --> 00:01:51.470 align:middle line:90%
I'm out of here.

00:01:51.470 --> 00:01:54.553 align:middle line:84%
And so I ran home and
I wrote this poem.

00:01:54.553 --> 00:01:56.470 align:middle line:84%
And I guess the only
thing that I should gloss

00:01:56.470 --> 00:02:01.210 align:middle line:84%
is, I mentioned Cthulhu
in the first line.

00:02:01.210 --> 00:02:03.520 align:middle line:84%
How many of you are
familiar with HP Lovecraft?

00:02:03.520 --> 00:02:06.850 align:middle line:84%
He was sort of a horror writer
in the turn of the century,

00:02:06.850 --> 00:02:12.370 align:middle line:84%
sort of pulp fiction, and
Cthulhu was sort of one

00:02:12.370 --> 00:02:13.660 align:middle line:90%
of his main monsters.

00:02:13.660 --> 00:02:16.960 align:middle line:84%
And I mentioned Cthulhu
in the first line.

00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:19.660 align:middle line:84%
"Elegy for the
lumbering monster."

00:02:19.660 --> 00:02:21.550 align:middle line:84%
"Vaya con Cthulhu
is what I always

00:02:21.550 --> 00:02:24.100 align:middle line:84%
say in moments like
these, though it

00:02:24.100 --> 00:02:26.830 align:middle line:84%
tends towards wasted
sentiment in the best, most

00:02:26.830 --> 00:02:27.850 align:middle line:90%
literary ways.

00:02:27.850 --> 00:02:31.570 align:middle line:84%
And anyway, I'm struck by
your end, your unremarked end,

00:02:31.570 --> 00:02:33.640 align:middle line:90%
your ragged demise.

00:02:33.640 --> 00:02:35.800 align:middle line:84%
And I wonder if you
have even been informed

00:02:35.800 --> 00:02:39.700 align:middle line:84%
that all your shambling power
is gone, that nobody thinks

00:02:39.700 --> 00:02:42.700 align:middle line:84%
of you anymore,
abject blips of terror

00:02:42.700 --> 00:02:46.030 align:middle line:84%
pinging about in the
catacombs of the heart.

00:02:46.030 --> 00:02:49.330 align:middle line:84%
From your cheaply-adorned
sarcophagus,

00:02:49.330 --> 00:02:52.630 align:middle line:84%
a word which means flesh
eating, you stumbled out as

00:02:52.630 --> 00:02:54.700 align:middle line:84%
though you were in
no hurry, except

00:02:54.700 --> 00:02:57.880 align:middle line:84%
to make your listless,
plaintive hymn.

00:02:57.880 --> 00:03:00.610 align:middle line:84%
And this was supposed
to be an eternal horror,

00:03:00.610 --> 00:03:02.740 align:middle line:84%
but to us now,
you're plucky more

00:03:02.740 --> 00:03:06.130 align:middle line:84%
than evil, determined in a
way that Americans can never

00:03:06.130 --> 00:03:09.070 align:middle line:84%
get enough of,
zombified in the brine

00:03:09.070 --> 00:03:12.130 align:middle line:90%
of our own apocalyptic zeal.

00:03:12.130 --> 00:03:15.880 align:middle line:84%
I wonder if you know, if you
understand your fall in place,

00:03:15.880 --> 00:03:19.360 align:middle line:84%
now that all our beasts,
our lithe undead,

00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:22.960 align:middle line:84%
our sprinting succubae
have broken away, aerobic,

00:03:22.960 --> 00:03:28.390 align:middle line:84%
clawing at the subcompact
in wild reverse,

00:03:28.390 --> 00:03:31.420 align:middle line:84%
the steering wheel slick
with undetermined blood,

00:03:31.420 --> 00:03:35.680 align:middle line:84%
the tires smoking sickly on
the black ribbons of asphalt,

00:03:35.680 --> 00:03:39.010 align:middle line:84%
which I cannot help but remind
you is made of other dead

00:03:39.010 --> 00:03:43.180 align:middle line:84%
beasts: The allosaur,
the brachiosaur,

00:03:43.180 --> 00:03:45.670 align:middle line:84%
the suddenly wiped-out
for reasons we don't know,

00:03:45.670 --> 00:03:50.620 align:middle line:84%
and so are fascinated, imagining
the black horizon's end.

00:03:50.620 --> 00:03:53.590 align:middle line:84%
My own end is what
we don't speak of,

00:03:53.590 --> 00:03:55.780 align:middle line:84%
though in the marble
blindness of your eyes,

00:03:55.780 --> 00:04:01.000 align:middle line:84%
it's easy to imagine, and I
do, but away from me I run."

00:04:01.000 --> 00:04:02.140 align:middle line:90%
Thanks guys.

00:04:02.140 --> 00:04:05.490 align:middle line:90%
[APPLAUSE]

00:04:05.490 --> 00:04:13.270 align:middle line:90%