WEBVTT

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And so I was almost
going to say I'm

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going to end on a happy poem.

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But I got one more.

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One more almost.

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So they mentioned
the raisins poem.

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And this was a question
we talked about.

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We talked about identity
in one of the classes

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and poems you should
or shouldn't write.

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And what does it mean
to be the type of writer

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you've become labeled, whether
it's Chicano or Chicana,

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whether it's a native or Indian
writer, whether it's in Arizona

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and writer or LGBTQP.

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There's so many acronyms
that I can't keep up

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with the acronyms.

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One of them probably
describes me, though,

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somewhere along the line.

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But we talked about that.

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And this was one
of the poems that

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even from some of my peers.

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They felt like why
a commodity poem?

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So government food.

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Well, because this is what
we ate and still eat often.

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And so-- I mean, we
talked about identity,

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and this is one of
those things that we

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told some of the students that
you just write what's in you.

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Don't worry about
what anybody thinks.

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And so I always
make a joke that I

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think anybody who's eaten
government food should

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write a commodity
poem because it's

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a special thing, that food.

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This has an epigraph
from Mencius.

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And is it only the
mouth and belly

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which are injured by hunger.

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"Why I hate raisins."

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And one of the
questions actually said

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from this high
school student, is

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like do you really hate raisins?

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And I do.

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"Love is a pound of sticky
raisins packed tight

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in black and white
government boxes the day

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we had no groceries.

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I told my mom I was hungry.

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She gave me the
whole bright box,

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USDA stamped like
a fist on the side.

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I ate them all in 10 minutes,
ate too many, too fast.

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It wasn't long before those
old grapes set like Black clay

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at the bottom of my belly,
making it ache and swell.

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I complained.

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I hate raisins.

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I just wanted a sandwich
like other kids.

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Well, that's all we've
got, my mom sighed.

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And what other kids?

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Everyone but me, I told her.

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She said, you mean
the white kids.

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You want to be a white kid?

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Well, too bad,
because you're my kid.

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I cried.

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At least the white
kids get a sandwich.

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At least the white kids
don't get the shits.

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That's when she slapped me,
left me holding my mouth

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and stomach, devoured by shame.

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I still hate raisins but not
for the crooked commodity lines

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we stood in to get them
winding around and in

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the tribal gymnasium.

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Not for the awkward cardboard
boxes we carried them home in.

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Not for the shits or how
they distended my belly.

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I hate raisins
because now I know

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my mom was hungry that day too.

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And I ate all the raisins."

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