WEBVTT

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So a large part of my book--

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I say a large part, not a large
part, a chunk of my book deals

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with having a brother
who is a meth addict.

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And one of the things
that has come up,

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we received a little
packet of index cards

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that some of the
high school students

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had written questions to.

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And I was struck by one of
the questions, and it said,

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did you feel pain when
you wrote these poems?

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Because I deal--

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I wrestle with family issues.

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And I mean, it's
a valid question.

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And luckily for me, I didn't
think about those things

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while I was writing them.

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I mean, I had to deal
with the aftermath after,

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and then I always
get the question

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when I'm writing poems
about my brother.

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And they say did
that really happen?

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And I always mention
an anecdote the day

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after my book arrived to
me, my mother had read it.

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She read it with all of
my brothers and sisters.

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I have four brothers
and four sisters.

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And so they all read
it not out loud,

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but they just took
turns reading it.

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And the next day, my
mother came to my house

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with my youngest sister.

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And we had this
awkward conversation,

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and I finally asked her,
well, mom, you know what?

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Go ahead and just say it say.

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Say what you need to say.

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And she said, well, it didn't--
it's just that it didn't happen

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that way.

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And my little sister
immediately responded,

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and she said, mom,
what do you mean?

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That's exactly how it happened.

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And I think that's the perfect
answer to the question.

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I'm pulling from real
emotions, and I'm

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pulling from real moments
of life, real parts of life.

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But then, I meet that with
imagination and wonder

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and possibility
and impossibility.

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And that's where my
poems start to happen.

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And so I'm going to go
ahead and read a poem.

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This is a pantoum, so it's form.

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You'll hear some repetition.

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"My brother at 3:00 AM, he
sat cross-legged weeping

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on the steps when mom unlocked
and opened the front door.

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Oh god, he said.

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Oh god.

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He wants to kill me, mom.

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When mom unlocked and opened
the front door at 3:00 AM,

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she was in her nightgown.

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Dad was asleep.

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He wants to kill me, he told
her, looking over his shoulder.

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3:00 AM and in her
nightgown, dad asleep.

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What's going on?

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She asked.

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Who wants to kill you?

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He looked over his shoulder.

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The devil does.

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Look at him.

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Over there.

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She asked, what are you on?

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Who wants to kill you?

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The sky wasn't black or blue
but the green of a dying night.

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The devil look at
him over there.

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He pointed to the corner house.

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The sky wasn't a black or blue
but the dying green of night.

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Stars had closed their eyes
or sheathed their knives.

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My brother pointed
to the corner house.

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His lips flickered with sores.

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Stars had closed their eyes
or sheathed their knives.

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Oh god.

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I can see the tail, he said.

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Oh god, look.

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Mom winced at the
sores on his lips.

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It's sticking out
from behind the house.

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Oh god.

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See the tail, he said.

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Look at the goddamned tail.

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He sat cross-legged,
weeping on the front steps.

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Mom finally saw it,
a hellish vision.

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My brother.

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Oh god.

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Oh god, she said."

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