WEBVTT

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I'm just going to leave
you with a page, yeah?

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And then we'll call
it a night, yeah?

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OK, guys, thank you.

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So there's a curse in
this book called the fukú,

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which is an actual real curse
even though people are always

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like, oh, that's just a joke.

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Like fuck you, ha ha.

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But it's not.

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It's actually a curse in
Santo Domingo, the fukú.

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And it's just kind
of this bad luck

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that can happen to
you or your family,

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whether you can acquire
it by saying or doing

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the wrong things.

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But the earliest belief is that
the fukú came to the Dominican

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Republic because of the
arrival of Europeans, yeah?

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All the shit that happened
created this huge well of bad

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luck that we could
all draw upon.

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And so the narrator begins
by talking a little bit about

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the fukú and how people believe
that the fukú was brought

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by Columbus.

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And this is the page I'm
going to read to you.

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It's the opening of the book.

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It's kind of this fake
historical voice, all right?

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And so it goes, "But the fukú
ain't just ancient history,

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a ghost story from the past
with no power to scare.

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In my parents' day, the
fukú was real as shit,

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something your everyday
person can believe in.

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Everybody knew somebody who
had been eaten by a fukú.

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It was in the air,
you could say,

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though like almost all the
important things on the island,

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not something that folks
really talked about.

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But in those good old days, my
parents' day, fukú had it good.

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It even had a hype man of sorts,
a high priest you could say,

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our then dictator for
life, Rafael Trujillo.

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No one knows whether Trujillo
was the fukú's servant or its

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master, its agent
or its principal,

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but it was clear that he and
it had an understanding that

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the two of them were tight.

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It was believed
in Santo Domingo,

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even in educated circles, that
anybody who plotted against

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Trujillo would incur a fukú most
powerful down to the seventh

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generation and beyond, which
explains why everyone who tried

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to assassinate Trujillo
always got done,

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why those dudes who finally
did buck him down all died

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so horrifically.

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And what about Kennedy?

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He was the one who greenlighted
the assassination of Trujillo

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in 1961, who ordered the CIA
to deliver arms to the island.

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Bad move, captain.

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For what Kennedy's intelligence
experts failed to tell him was

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what every single Dominican
from the richest jabao in Mao

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to the poorest güey in El
Buey knew that whoever killed

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Trujillo, their family would
suffer a fukú so dreadful it

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would make the one that attached
itself to the Admiral jojote

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in comparison.

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You want a final
conclusive answer

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to the Warren
Commission question

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who killed John F. Kennedy?

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Let me, your humble
watcher, reveal once

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and for all the
god's honest truth.

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It wasn't the mob
or LBJ or the ghost

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of Marilyn fucking Monroe.

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It wasn't the Hunt's
brothers of Texas

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or Lee Harvey or the
Trilateral Commission.

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It was Trujillo.

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It was the fukú.

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Where in coñazo do you think
the curse of the Kennedy comes

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from?

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And what about Vietnam?

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Why do you think
the greatest power

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in the world lost its first
war to a pissant third world

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country like Vietnam?

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I mean, Negro, please.

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It might interest you to
know that just as the United

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States was ramping up its
involvement in Vietnam,

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President Lyndon Johnson
launched an illegal invasion

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of the Dominican Republic.

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Santo Domingo was Iraq
before Iraq was Iraq.

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Turned out to be a
smashing military success,

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and many of the same
units and intelligence

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team that took part
in the democratization

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of the Dominican
Republic were immediately

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shipped out to Saigon.

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And what do you think these
soldiers, these technicians,

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and spooks carried with
them in their rucksacks,

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in their suitcases, in
their shirt pockets,

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on the hair inside
their nostrils

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and caked up around their shoes?

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Just a little gift
from my people

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to America, a small
repayment for an unjust war.

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That's right, fukú, which is why
it's important to remember that

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fukú doesn't always
strike like lightning.

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Sometimes it works
patiently, drowning

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a nigger by degrees, like with
the Admiral or like with the US

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out in Vietnam.

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Sometimes fukú is slow,
and sometimes it is fast.

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It is doomish in that way.

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It makes it harder to put a
finger on to brace yourself.

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But be assured, like
Darkseid's Omega effect,

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like Morgoth's bane, no matter
how many turns and digressions

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this shit might
take, it always--

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and I mean, always--

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gets its man."

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Thank you.

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Have a good night, you guys.

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[APPLAUSE]

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