WEBVTT

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So we skip.

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"Another day, and the only
thing Magda has said is,

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give me the lotion.

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Tonight the resort is throwing
a party and all guests

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are invited.

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Attire is formal but I don't
have the clothes or the energy

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to dress up.

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Magda though has both.

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She puts on these super
tight gold lame pants

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and a matching halter that
shows off her belly ring.

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Her hair is shiny
and dark as night.

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And I can remember
the first time

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I kissed those curls asking
her, "where are the stars?"

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And she said, "They're
a little lower, Papi."

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We ended up in
front of a mirror.

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I'm in slacks and a
wrinkled guayabera,

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and she's applying her lipstick.

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And I always believe that the
universe invented the color red

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solely for Latinos.

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"We look good," she says.

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It's true.

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My optimism is
starting to come back.

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I'm thinking this is a
night for reconciliation.

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I put my arms around her
but she drops her bomb

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without blinking
her fucking eye.

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Tonight she says
she needs her space.

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My arm drops.

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"I knew you'd be
pissed," she says.

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"You're a real bitch,
you know that."

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"I didn't want to come here.

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You made me."

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"If it didn't want to
come why didn't you

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have the guts to say so."

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And on, and on.

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Until finally I
say, "Fuck this."

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And I head out.

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I feel unmoored and don't
have a clue what comes next.

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This is the end game.

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And instead of
pulling out all stops,

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instead of pongándome
más chivo que un chivo,

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I'm feeling sorry for myself,
como un parigüayo sin suerte.

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And I'm thinking
I'm not a bad guy.

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Club Cacique is jammed.

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I'm looking for Lucy and I find
the vice president and Barbaro

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instead.

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At the quiet end
of the bar they're

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drinking cognac
and arguing about

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whether there are 56 Dominicans
in the major leagues or 57.

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They clear out a space for me
and clap me on the shoulder.

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"This place is
killing me," I say.

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"How dramatic."

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The vice president reaches
into his suit for his keys.

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"Are you inclined to
ride with us," he says.

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"Why not," I say.

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"I want to show you the
birthplace of our nation."

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Before we leave I
check out the crowd.

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Lucy has arrived.

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She's alone at the edge of
the bar in a fly black dress.

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She lifts her arms up and I
can see the stark double spot

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in her armpit.

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I think I should stay
but my legs carry me

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right out of the club."

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And this is it, last section.

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"We pile into the
diplomats black BMW.

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I'm in the back
seat with Barbaro.

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The vise president's
up front driving.

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We leave Casa de Campo
behind and the frenzy

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of La Romana and soon
everything starts smelling

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of processed sugar cane.

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The roads are dark.

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I'm talking no fucking lights.

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And in our beams the bug
swarm like a biblical plague.

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We're passing the cognac around.

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I'm with the vice president,
so I figure what the fuck.

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He's talking about his
time in upstate New York

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but so is Barbaro.

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The bodyguard suit is
rumpled and his hand

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shakes as he smokes
his cigarettes.

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Some fucking bodyguard, I think.

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He's telling me about his
childhood in San Juan,

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near the border of
Haiti, Liborio's country.

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I wanted to be an
engineer he tells me.

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I wanted to build schools
and hospitals for the Pueblo.

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I'm not really listening to
him I'm thinking about Magda

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and how I'll probably never
taste her chocha again.

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And then we're out of the
car stumbling up a slope

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through bushes, and
guineo, and bamboo.

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And the mosquitoes
are chewing us up

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like we're the
special of the day.

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And Barbaro has got
a huge flashlight.

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A darkness obliterater out.

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The vise president is
cursing and trampling

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through the underbrush saying,
"It's around here somewhere.

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This is what I get for
being in office so long."

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It's only then that I
noticed that Barbaro

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is holding a huge
fucking machine gun

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and his hand ain't
shaking no more.

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He isn't watching me
or the vise president.

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He's listening.

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I'm not scared but this is
getting a little too freaky

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for me.

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"What kind of gun is that?"

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I ask by way of conversation.

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"A P90," he says.

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"What the fuck is that?"

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"Something old made new."

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And I'm thinking great,
a fucking philosopher.

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"It's here," the
vice president says.

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I creep over and
see he's standing

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over a hole in the ground.

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The Earth is red bauxite.

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"This is the cave of the
Jagua," the vice president

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announces in a deep
respectful voice.

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"The birthplace of the Taínos."

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I raise my eyebrow.

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"I thought they were
from South America."

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"We're speaking," he
says, "Mythically here."

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Barbaro points the
light down in the hole

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but it doesn't improve anything.

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"Would you like to see inside?"

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the vice president asks me.

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And I must have said, yes,
because Barbaro gives me

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the flashlight and the two of
them grabbed me by my ankles

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and lower me into the hole.

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All my coins fly
out of my pockets.

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Bendiciones.

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I don't see much just some
odd colors on the eroded wall.

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And the vice president's calling
down, "Isn't it beautiful?

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This is a perfect place
for insight, for a person

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to become somebody better."

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The vice president probably
saw his future self

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hanging in this
darkness bulldozing

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the poor out of their shanties.

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And Barbaro too.

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Buying a concrete
house for his mother,

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showing her how to work
the air conditioner.

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But me, all I can
manage is a memory

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of the first time me and
Magda talked back at Rutgers.

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We were waiting for an E bus
together on George Street

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and she was wearing purple,
all sorts of purple.

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And that's when
I know it's over.

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As soon as you start
thinking about the beginning,

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it's the end.

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I cry.

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And when they pull me
up the vice president

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says indignantly,
"God, you don't have

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to be such a pussy about it."

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Thank you.

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[APPLAUSE]

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